Vote Then Read: Volume III

by Aleatha Romig

  “We’ll see,” he says, shriveled meat lips curling. “We’ll see who’s laughing when it’s all over. You put on a good show, but you’re not fooling me, Prince. You don’t have what it takes to see this through.”

  I narrow my eyes, wondering if Anastasia decided to tell him what I do for a living, after all, but quickly decide I don’t give a shit.

  Who cares if he knows about Magnificent Bastard Consulting? My presence here today no longer has anything to do with work, a fact which will become abundantly apparent once I have the chance to talk to Penny. I’m going to convince her our pretend is the realest thing at this wedding rehearsal and then make out with her in every dark corner of the backyard until there is no shadowy nook we haven’t christened and no doubt in anyone’s mind that I am completely smitten with Penny Elizabeth Pickett.

  “All right then, Phillip,” I say with a shrug. “I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

  His green eyes glitter. “Sure. That’ll work. Until you have to admit you’ve failed.”

  Before I can respond, Phillip has spun, nearly knocked over a waiter as he exchanges his empty drink for a full one, and disappeared into the house.

  All around me, the other members of the wedding party—nearly a dozen beautiful women, many of whom I recognize from various movies and gossip magazines, and their dates, along with Phillip’s crew of Hollywood goons and overgrown fraternity brother types—quickly avert their eyes, pretending they weren’t observing the tense exchange between the groom and me. Luckily, the string quartet playing on the lawn below the patio fills the uneasy silence and soon conversations resume.

  After securing a plate of appetizers from the buffet set up near the entrance to the house, I wander away from the main party, joining the ring bearer’s parents on the deck overlooking the beach, where the harried wedding planner is finalizing the arrangement of the chairs and altar for the rehearsal. I met George and Yvette and their son, Eli, at the luncheon. They run a local hair salon and are refreshingly normal compared to the Hollywood power players and trust fund babies that make up the rest of the wedding party.

  We pass an easy half hour consuming tiny sandwiches, chatting in the sun, watching Eli roll down the grassy dune into the sand over and over again until the four-year-old oozes beach out of his pants pockets every time he stands up, and wait for the bride, maid of honor, and flower girls to appear. We wait and wait as the sun sinks lower in the sky and the air takes on a chill. Finally, just after five, Yvette excuses herself to take Eli to the bathroom before his practice run down the aisle and George and I go in hunt of fresh mojitos.

  I’m circling around the dinner tables, aiming myself at a bored looking blond girl with a full tray of frosty glasses, when a loud honk of feedback sounds from the speakers near the slideshow screen.

  A gasp ripples through the crowd, followed by nervous laughter as the audio-visual techie wrestling chords near his laptop shouts, “Sorry about that, folks. Having a little trouble with the setup. Think I’ve found the right signal now.”

  The clusters of nicely dressed people are already returning to their conversations when Phillip’s voice sounds from the speakers, begging someone to—“Please. Hear me out. Just give me five minutes. Please!” I turn, wondering what the hell is going on, to see a watery image flicker to life on the screen.

  “Or maybe that’s not my signal.” The tech blinks, his brow furrowing.

  There, ten feet tall, in living color, are Phillip and Penny. They’re standing in the middle of a glassed-in room, and Phillip is clutching one of Penny’s hands in both of his. She’s wearing the white chiffon dress I brought from the cottage for her, the one that makes her look like a glamorous, curvy, nineteen fifties movie star, and Phillip is dressed in the same clothes he was wearing when he cornered me on the patio.

  If this is something the twins recorded for their slideshow, they must have done it just a few minutes ago.

  But even before Penny shakes her head and begins to speak, I have a feeling this has nothing to do with the wedding celebration.

  “No, Phillip,” she says, her voice strained. “This is insane! You’re getting married in less than twenty-four hours. To my mother!”

  “But I don’t have to be,” Phillip says, sending an uncomfortable murmur rippling through the crowd as more of the guests begin to realize something is wrong and the audio-visual guy taps frantically at his laptop, trying to put an end to the unplanned performance.

  “Please, Penny, I know I screwed up,” Phillip continues, clinging to her hand. “I never should have followed your mom into the pool house, let alone let things go this far. I never should have done anything to screw up what we had.”

  Penny shakes her head faster, clearly panicked. “Are you crazy? Is this some kind of a sick joke, because I don’t—”

  “It’s not a joke. But yeah, maybe I am crazy.” His voice breaks and he swallows with visible effort before adding, “Everyone thinks I’ve got it all, but I’ve got nothing. Seeing you again, I realize that without you, my life is empty. You’re the only woman I’ve ever really loved, Penny. The only person who knows me, inside and out. And I can’t stand the thought of spending another day, let alone the rest of my life, with anyone but you.”

  He falls to one knee, eliciting gasps and deep, disapproving grumbles from the guests glued to the unfolding drama, while Penny rears back in obvious shock, her expression telegraphing abject horror.

  Unfortunately, Phillip is either too drunk or too arrogant to read her cues. He continues in an impassioned voice, worthy of an Emmy-nominated actor, “Penny Pickett, will you marry me? Please. Run away with me, Peeps. Right now. Tonight. And I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you aren’t sorry you chose me to be your forever.”

  Penny’s jaw drops, but before she can speak, the audio-visual guy finally pulls the plug on his malfunctioning computer. This time, the crowd moans in disappointment, a studio audience cheated out of the climactic moment in an especially riveting TV drama.

  But this isn’t television. This is real life and no matter how the rest of that scene plays out, real people are going to be hurt.

  The thought has barely flitted through my mind when a blur of yellow chiffon streaks past in my peripheral vision. I shift my gaze to see Anastasia running out of the kitchen door at the far side of the house and dashing through the cherry trees shading that side of the estate. She stumbles, tumbling to the grass amidst the fallen pink petals, but quickly regains her balance, swiping her arm across her face as she flees between the guest houses and down toward the beach.

  She’s clearly devastated and it doesn’t take much imagination to guess why. She must have seen the video and heard her fiancé begging another woman—her daughter—to run away with him.

  No matter what Anastasia did to Penny, or how selfish she clearly is, I feel bad for her. For all her bullshit, she seems to love Phillip and he just proved her a fool in the worst possible way, in front of fifty of her nearest and dearest, a flock of cater waiters, and one of the most expensive wedding planners in the tri-state area.

  With a last glance at the house, where I hope Penny is telling Phillip “hell, no” without bothering with her Sunday manners, I turn and follow her mother down toward the beach.

  Penny is the strong one, now. She’s free of Phillip and whether or not she chooses to take it easy on him, she’ll never let him hurt her again.

  I’m not so sure about Anastasia’s mental state and I’m not going to let anyone get hurt on my watch.

  Unselfishly, my heart goes out to people who have been spectacularly dumped, even people like Penny’s mom. Selfishly, I know that the sooner I can get Anastasia calmed down, the sooner Penny and I can get out of here and spend our last night in our cottage the way we should have spent every night—tangled up in each other with no plans of letting go.

  40

  At the edge of a cluster of breeze-blocking dunes, I spot a pair of gold sandals. Not much
farther on, gold bracelets are scattered between two mountains of sand like forgotten pirate treasure. And as I step out from between the dunes, I spot Anastasia’s dress as it catches the wind and takes flight.

  I freeze at the edge of where the sand becomes a carpet of white leading down to the ocean and watch the yellow chiffon spin toward the sky, twisting like a Chinese dragon in the breeze.

  “Shit,” I mutter, wincing as I glance back toward the ocean, already having a pretty good idea of what I’m going to see.

  Sure enough, there’s Anastasia wading into the frigid ocean in her strapless bra and white thong, charging into the waves like a mermaid determined to return to the sea. As I run toward the water, I vaguely recall part of that movie she was in, a similar scene in which a younger Anastasia was being forced to give up her human lover for the ocean.

  But this isn’t a movie. If she stays in for long she’s going to risk hypothermia or worse—the water is barely sixty degrees this time of year—and Phillip isn’t worth losing a finger over, let alone her life.

  “Anastasia, wait!” I come to a stop at the edge of the waves, toeing off my shoes and praying she’ll listen to sense. I’ve made a commitment to playing Prince Charming for Penny, but I really don’t want to have to swim into the freezing ocean to rescue the wicked queen. “Anastasia! It’s too cold to go in the water!”

  “Go away!” She glances over her shoulder, granting me a glimpse of the mascara streaking her cheeks. “Just go away.”

  “I can’t.” I raise my voice to be heard over the waves. “Not until you get out of the water. It’s too cold. It’s not safe.”

  “That’s the whole point.” She pulls in a ragged breath. “I’m going in and I’m never coming out. Never! And I don’t care if the fish eat my body.”

  “Come on now,” I cajole, the moment reminding me of when Penny was facedown on the couch. Seems like she came by her dramatic streak honestly. “He’s not worth it, Ana. You know he’s not.”

  “Goodbye, Sebastian.” She crosses her arms at her chest, her teeth chattering as she points a finger back at the house. “Go tell Penny that I hope she and Phillip are very happy together. I won’t bother them, or anyone else, ever again.” Her face crumples on the last word as she swipes a trembling arm across her eyes.

  “That’s ridiculous, Anastasia.” I peel off my socks and move closer to the water, close enough to feel how cold the wet sand is beneath my bare feet.

  Fuck, I really don’t want to have to perform a daring rescue, but it’s starting to look like I won’t have a choice. There’s no one else on the beach and a glance back at the house shows that both trails leading down to the sand are still deserted.

  “Penny doesn’t want Phillip,” I continue, willing Anastasia to see reason. “He’s a slimy son of a bitch and she knows it. Now get out of the water and let’s go find your dress before it blows into the ocean and strangles a baby dolphin or something.”

  Anastasia shakes her head back and forth, backing away until the waves rise to the center of her chest. “I can’t. I can’t ever face anyone ever again.”

  “Of course you can. Phillip is the one who fucked up.” I motion back toward the house. “He’s the one who just proved to everyone up there that he isn’t worthy of you, Ana. Not your love or your trust, and he sure as hell isn’t worth freezing to death for.”

  Her lips tremble, but her gaze softens. “You don’t really believe that. You think I’m a t-terrible p-person.”

  “No, I don’t,” I say, deciding it’s worth pushing the truth a little in order to get her out of the waves. “I think you fell in love with a terrible person and it made you less than you really are. But now Phillip is on the way out. You can kick him to the curb and get back to what matters. Your family, your daughters, and the friends who love and appreciate you.”

  She sways back and forth in the water.

  I circle my arm, using my warmest voice to seal the deal and get her moving toward shore. “Come on back here, girl. You’re a survivor. You’ve got this. No way is a human come stain like Phillip going to bring down Anastasia Pickett.”

  Her lips quirk and I answer with a smile. “Now get out of that water and let’s go take care of business.”

  “You’ll help me?” she asks, shuffling a step forward. “Really? Even though I hurt Penny? All for nothing, for a man who doesn’t really love me?”

  “Any enemy of Phillip’s is a friend of mine,” I assure her, breathing easier as she continues to struggle through the water. “I’ll even take care of kicking him out the door. It will be my pleasure to shove a shoe up his ass.”

  Her eyes shine and a tentative smile curves her lips. “Can I watch? I would like to see him get a shoe up the ass. I’m not normally a violent person, but I think he deserves that at least.”

  “At the very least,” I agree, working open the buttons on my dress shirt as it becomes obvious that, thanks to a good soaking, her white bra and panties are now transparent.

  She clearly has no issues with parading around naked in front of her daughter’s boyfriends or whoever else happens to be around, but I would like for her to be covered up when we head back to the house. As she takes the last few steps onto the shore, shivering in the cool breeze rushing in off the water, I shrug off my shirt and hold it out for her. She threads her arms through the sleeves and I lift it up onto her shoulders.

  But when she turns, I see that she’s made no effort to hold the shirt closed in front.

  In fact, in the time it took my hands to fall to my sides she has somehow managed to dispose of her bra. It drops down onto the sand with a soft plop as she allows my shirt to gape open farther, displaying a scandalous amount of inner-side-boob.

  The moment I make eye contact with the inner-side-boob, I immediately glance away, clearing my throat uncomfortably. “All right then. You might want to—”

  Before I can finish, Anastasia flings her arms around my neck and presses her nearly bare chest against mine.

  “Thank you, Bash.” She arches into closer contact, rubbing against me in a way that makes my balls shrivel and my dick try to crawl back between my legs because—

  She’s not Penny.

  She’s Penny’s mother.

  She’s freezing cold and wet.

  Did I mention that she’s the mother of the woman I’ve been fucking—the only woman I want to fuck in the foreseeable future—and that it feels utterly and completely wrong to have her body this close to mine? It would feel wrong to have anyone else this close, but especially the woman responsible for giving birth to Penny.

  I’m gaining a new level of appreciation for just how nasty Phillip is for going straight from daughter to mother and am trying to gracefully detangle myself from Anastasia without hurting her feelings and sending her running back into the ocean when suddenly her lips are on mine.

  I don’t see it coming; I have no idea I’m about to be lip-locked until she seals the deal.

  I flinch in shock and open my mouth to tell her this isn’t going to happen, but before I can speak her tongue is in my mouth and she’s going at my shocked, stiff appendage like she’s trying to poke it back to life. The kiss lasts maybe ten, fifteen seconds before I put my hands firmly on her shoulders and push her away, but I know it’s fifteen seconds that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

  “Shit, Anastasia.” I swipe my hand across my mouth, tempted to spit the taste of her out onto the sand. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip trembles as she pulls my shirt closed in the front. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t mean to do that. I was just so grateful to you for offering to help and then you took your shirt off and I thought—”

  “I took my shirt off because you were naked and I wanted to help cover you up.” I jab an emphatic thumb back toward the house. “I’m your daughter’s date, for God’s sake.”

  “I’m sorry.” Tears fill her eyes. “I really am, Bash. I’m so s
orry and embarrassed. I have some unhealthy behavior patterns when it comes to men, especially when I’m feeling vulnerable.” She huddles deeper into my shirt. “I probably need to go back into therapy.”

  “You think?” I run a clawed hand through my hair. “Or maybe you could just devote a little less effort to avoiding gluten and a little more to avoiding kissing your daughter’s boyfriends. I think that would be a good place to start.”

  She nods swiftly. “I will. I promise. Please don’t tell Penny. I don’t want to upset her and I swear it will never happen again.”

  “I can’t make that promise.” I bend to retrieve my shoes and socks before the incoming tide can soak them. “I don’t believe in lying to the people I care about.”

  “Even if the lie makes things easier for everyone?” she presses, tailing me as I start back toward the house. “Please, I’ve already messed up so much with Penny. I just want to make things right with my daughter. And now that Phillip and I are over, maybe we can have that chance.”

  She grabs my elbow and I stop, facing her over the bracelets still littering the sand. “Please,” she begs, fear in her eyes. “Let something good come out of all this. Don’t doom my relationship with my daughter because of one stupid kiss while I was half frozen and feeling sad and pathetic. If you give me a chance, I swear I won’t screw up again.”

  I sigh. “I haven’t known you long, Ana, but even I know better than to believe that.”

  Her brow furrows. “Okay. You’re right. I will screw up again. But I won’t screw up in the same way. Not like this. I give you my word, Sebastian, and that does mean something. Ask Penny. I mess up a lot but when I make a promise, I keep it.”

  I study her earnest expression, having no idea if she’s telling the truth or just showing off her acting skills, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. This family needs a break from the constant drama and if that means keeping what happened on the beach a secret—at least until all the rest of the angst blows over—I can do that.