Redemption

by Dexx Peay

  “Brothers, I want to start off with an apology. I’m sorry for not trying to get to know you all and not hanging with you when I had the time. I know I am not the most… approachable guy, honestly I’m mean as hell and I know it.

  That changes now.

  I’m ready to be a part and finally make this circle complete. I want to apologize to you again Dylan,” he looked at me. “I have given you hell for the past year and a half, and for what? Nothing. Thank you for listening and talking to me. It’s what I needed. Guys, my dad has cancer.”

  All the guys gasped.

  He continued.

  “It has been real hard on me and every time I went home, it was to see him. The doctors are only giving him a few months left to live. I want to change and be the man my father envisioned me to be, but I’ll need you guy’s help if you all are willing.”

  “Whatever you need help with, we’re here to support you. Communication is important, you have to talk to us and let us know what’s going on,” Jacob said.

  “Thank you guys. I know I need work,” Airez said.

  “We all need work.” Noel followed up. “We’ve come too far to not finish strong guys. Let’s focus on building up one another up and taking the time to get to really know all of the members of the circle. I know I am guilty of not taking the time to know everyone. I want a lifetime bond not one that just last a few weeks.”

  “Guys,” Big Brother Timothy interjected. “I just want to say I am proud of each and every one of you. Lines like this make me love my position and that I get to watch you all grow. I was going to keep you all here for a little bit but I’m going to go ahead and send you all home for the night. Don’t forget to stay with your buddies and make sure you have your colors on tomorrow.”

  “We can all stay in my room guys,” Evan suggested.

  We all stayed in Evan’s room for the night. Nobody really got any sleep. We talked a lot and really got to know each other the way Big Brother Timothy wanted.

  I saw a new beginning for Airez and I.

  The next day we all made sure to have on our colors. Between classes and delivering snacks, I made sure to get some independent study time in. That night we had to put on a talent show for the ladies of Xi Beta Theta and the brothers of Xi Beta Kappa. Noel, Ricardo, Jacob and myself performed an NSYNC classic.

  I believe everyone loved all the acts. I thought that it would be embarrassing but actually turned out to be a fun night. The next evening we had to buy and cook food at the Theta house in combination with the ladies of their circle. We had to dress in black slacks, our colored shirts, and a black tie. The big brothers and sisters were having a study night and wanted food for the evening. After we left there, we all went to the library for our own little study night. They were kind enough to let us take any extra food that was left. There wasn’t much. Three chicken wings, a burger, some meatballs and a few cheese quesadillas with a two-liter.

  We split everything.

  As the rest of the week went on, we got less sleep. It was mentally draining. I was falling asleep in classes and even skipped two of my Thursday classes to nap in my room.

  Friday night was our ceremony, which took place at midnight. We were blindfolded and taken somewhere. They lined us up in height order, then shoved something into our hands. It was a candle. I could tell by the texture. They lit them before removing the blindfolds. When we were finally able to see again, all the brothers were in front of us with their own candles lit.

  “Congratulations pledges. You guys are now official members of Xi Beta Kappa. You have been put through the test and have all overcome difficult challenges. I’m proud of you,” Airin said.

  “You guys have really shown me what brotherhood looks like and being around you guys, reminds me why I joined this fraternity. Remember everything you guys went through as a line. Remember the long nights, the sleepovers, the tears and the laughter—let that experience be what keeps you guys continuing. Now that you guys have finished this journey; build relationships, network, and give back. In the future you guys will be in our shoes, helping to build up young men who will one day be in this fraternity as well. There’s nothing else more I can say except, I am proud of you all,” Timothy exalted.

  I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to call my dad and let him know. Even though I was excited, I was ready for everyone to stop talking, I had hot wax dripping all down my hands.

  “Let’s hear it guys!” Timothy affirmed.

  “OOOOOWEEEEEEE!!!!

  That’s the call of this illustrious fraternity

  The black is for the bond

  My brothers who would kill for me

  The Red is for the service we provide to our community

  Nothing more, nothing less

  Cause only the strong can pass the test

  Xi Beta Kappa is the one for me

  Xi Beta Kappa where brotherhood is family!” the circle chanted.

  The whole night consisted of a lot of chanting and bonding with everyone. Words couldn’t express how happy I was. I looked around and saw that same excitement in the circle’s eyes.

  Life was great.

  I woke up the next day in my own bed.

  Greatest feeling ever.

  I got up and knocked on Marcus’s door, and sat him down to talk.

  “How you been Marc?”

  “School, training, Delilah. Same stuff.”

  He brushed me off as if he really didn’t want to talk.

  “I should have told you about Harvard. I wanted so bad for us to attend together but after you didn’t get accepted, I couldn’t bring myself to be there without you.”

  “It’s okay Dylan. After analyzing the situation and reflecting on how I’ve been acting this semester, I’m over it. It’s cool if you got in and I didn’t. And I’m sorry for saying that your parents paid your way into the school. I know you worked hard. That was just me throwing my problems on you like I always do—”

  “You don’t always do that.”

  “I do. Really.”

  “Malcolm and I been hanging out a little.”

  “So you replaced me as your best friend by another black guy?”

  “Dude, chill. We’ve really just been going to the gym and playing ball. He’s pretty cool, and plus he doesn’t really know anybody yet.”

  “So that’s where you been running off to all the time? Skippin’ out on training, missing birthdays?

  “Actually...something better. Guess what?”

  “I’m not playing twenty-one questions. What is it?”

  “I’m a frat boy now!”

  “Shut the hell up. You’re lying!”

  “Nope. I’m a brother of Xi Beta Kappa now.”

  “So that’s where your ass been hiding!”

  “Yep. And guess who’s my frat brother?”

  “Gunner? Man I knew that pretty boy had fraternity written all over that chest of his.”

  I laughed. “Would you shut up. It’s not Gunner. It’s Airez, and he’s actually pretty cool now that I know him.”

  “Damn Dylan. You’re a frat boy now. That’s crazy.”

  “Yeah. We’re having a party tonight. I really want you and everybody to come out.”

  “I’m down. Congrats bro. Wait, can I still call you that?”

  “Dude! Chill…” I laughed.

  After talking to Marcus, I got dressed to go to the gym and play some ball with Malcolm. He invited Marcus to come with us while he was in the room. Marcus can barely hold a basketball, but it would still be hilarious to see him try and play.

  We got to the gym and played a couple games of two-on-two with some other guys from campus. We won a game and lost one. I couldn’t express how much I loved gripping the ball in my hands, the rush of energy I felt running up and down the court.

  I wondered sometimes if I made the right decision my senior year by not returning to the court. It feels like I’ve been questioning a lot of past decisions.

  Guess that means I’m g
rowing up...I think.

  “Xi Beta Kappa party tonight,” I said to Malcolm as we sat against the wall in the gym watching another game going on.

  “Thanks for the invite Dylan, but you will not catch me at a college party.”

  “Right. Forgot.”

  “We will get you a fake ID, sneak you into some bars.”

  “Haha, think I’ll just wait until I hit twenty-one. Last thing I need is to get caught and have to explain that one to my parents.”

  “Doing anything tomorrow?”

  “Think I’m going to spend some time with Marc. We haven’t had time to really talk and hang, just the two of us.”

  “I was hoping you would want to go catch that new action movie that just came out?”

  “You mean Stopcock?”

  “Yeah.”

  He snatched the ball that my arm rested on. He stood up and began to dribble.

  “I have to go out of town so I’m not sure when we will get to hang again. Have you already told Marcus about your plans?”

  “No not yet.”

  “Come on bro, come see this movie. Marcus will not know if you have not told him yet.”

  “Fine.”

  Later that day I called Dad. Haven’t heard him this excited for me since my basketball days.

  “Seriously Dylan, why didn’t you tell me?” He said. I could tell he was smiling. “I have to come visit. This is big news.”

  “Dad c’mon...finals are right around the corner and I’ll be home before you know it. You don’t need to come out here.”

  “But I have to get you gifts. Kappa shirts and hats and whatever else I can get my hands on.”

  “Dad. You do realize you bought me a new car senior year that you’re still paying on. You don’t need to get me anything.”

  “Dylan, I’m just so proud of you. I had no idea you had an interest in joining a fraternity, let alone Kappa.”

  “I’ve always wanted it dad. It’s because of you. I just want to make you proud.”

  “You’ve always made me proud Dylan, more than you’ll ever know.”

  We stayed on the phone for a whole hour. If I didn’t have to go, I would have stayed and talked to him longer.

  I got my things and headed to the Kappa Kage. We had to set up for the party. There was much work to do. We had to clean the house, pick up the food and the cake. It was crazy because this house was the first party I went to last year and the way it ended, I never thought I would be here as a member. I was ready for all my friends to come and meet the brothers, and share this experience with me.

  I’m Coming Out

  Night fell.

  The circle and I were upstairs getting dressed.

  Timothy said he had a surprise for all of us.

  We waited patiently.

  Everyone was just excited to finally be members. We were all up talking and laughing, enjoying brotherhood. Timothy and ten other brothers walked in including Airin. They were all holding hangers with plastic around them like they just came from the dry cleaners.

  “Brothers,” Airin said proudly.

  We all stood and formed a semicircle wrapped around the bed.

  “Welcome to your first party as brothers. This party is for you so we can finally introduce you guys to the campus of NYU.”

  They each stood in front of one of us. Timothy stood in front of me. Airin started to speak again.

  “As you all know Airez is my little brother. I want to say that I am so proud of you in everything you have accomplished thus far. I am proud to say that you are my brother again. Welcome to the frat bro.” He handed him his hanger.

  A few of the other guys spoke about who they were standing in front of.

  Timothy finally got to me.

  “I didn’t know what to really think of you at first Dylan. I think you’ve been the backbone for these guys from what I can tell. You managed to maintain good grades as well as complete all the tasks we gave you. Not only did you stay positive, but you helped one of your brothers in his time of need,” Timothy said. He handed me the hanger. “I’m very proud of you Dylan and I’m always here for you little brother.”

  Wow.

  I’ve never had a big brother before. I’ve always been the big brother and now I have someone who I can lean on in my time of need….Big Brother Timothy.

  This was truly a special moment for me.

  “Okay guys look underneath,” Timothy said.

  We all ripped off the paper and plastic like animals. Underneath were black blazers with the fraternity crest on it. They were amazing.

  I still couldn’t believe I was about to put it on.

  “Go’head and try ‘em on guys,” Timothy said.

  We all slipped them on. I think everyone’s fit to perfection.

  “You guys will be the only members of the fraternity wearing these tonight. When people come tonight they will know the black blazers are our newest members. It’s your party guys, enjoy it!”

  They all walked out.

  Everyone exhaled, smiled, and began talking again.

  “You guys ready to party?” Jacob yelled. We all cheered and finished getting ready.

  We all walked out the room and downstairs. It reminded me of the day when I first came to house as a potential member. The swarm of black blazers capturing everyone’s attention, the walls dancing to the beat of the music. The house was carpeted with so many people I couldn’t see the hardwood floors. Everyone cheered for us as they started to see us make our way to the party. My mind was still having a hard time processing what was going on, although my eyes weren’t lying to me. I was a fraternity boy even if I didn’t believe it.

  “Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!” all the brothers started to chant from all around the house.

  Our faces lit as we joined in. “Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!”

  I walked through the crowd. I didn’t have to fight my way around like I used to; instead, people moved out the way for me. Guys and girls I recognized from class greeted me as I walked by, shaking my hand and patting me on the back. I was on top of the world.

  “Dylan!” Someone said right when I got to the kitchen.

  I turned around. It was Gunner. He wrapped his bicep around my neck. I hunched over as he did.

  “Remember our first night of college partner? Now look at you! You’re one of them. Congratulations!”

  “Now you just make sure you don’t go and ugh… lassie up none of these pretty ladies at this here rodeo,” I mocked.

  He laughed.

  Gunner was in with the rest of the gang: Marcus, Sam, Hudson, Hachi, Delilah, Stacey, Charlie, and even Chris came out to see me. It was great to see all my friends here.

  “Guys you have no idea how happy I am to see you all here, seriously! I want to say I am sorry,” I said.

  “WHAT?” Hachi yelled.

  “I said I want to say I’m sorry. For the way I acted while I was pledging!” I screamed over the music.

  “Dylan come on we have a party to enjoy,” Noel said.

  He walked past and started to drag me by the neck.

  “Whoa…” I stopped him.

  I started to laugh, then leaned in close to him.

  “Meet some of my friends Noel. This is the gang; gang this is my frat brother Noel.” They all exchanged hellos.

  “I came here to party guys,” Delilah said.

  She walked off and Marcus followed her.

  “Enjoy the party guys,” I said. “I’ll see you guys around.”

  The party lasted all night. All my friends enjoyed themselves and no fights broke out this time. Some of the guys had joked after the party how they were going to sleep in their blazers. I actually believed a few of them. After the party, we all crashed out in Airin’s room since he wasn’t there. We knew we’d have to clean the house in the morning. I was ready to enjoy life as a member of Xi Beta Kappa.

  It was the second day of finals. The fraternity threw a study party over the weekend. It was more partying than studying sad to
say.

  I only had one final and that wasn’t until later in the afternoon. I woke up pretty early. Heard Marcus on the phone and he sounded upset. I decided to see what the fuss was about.

  “Are you serious Trey? Why wouldn’t you tell me this?” he cried.

  “Trey’s on the phone? Tell him I said wassup,” I said as I exited my room.

  He held his finger to me and turned around.

  “What about your dad? Where is he now?” Marcus went on.

  He turned and faced me, then gestured for me to come to him. I walked over. Wondered what him and Trey could have been talking about so early in the morning. Marcus’s face was serious. His eyes were focused and he kept shaking his head.

  “Okay man, yeah, I’ll let Dylan know, because… Dylan is like us too. I’ll stay in touch. We’ll be home soon. Trey, stay safe brother.”

  He ended the call and took a seat on the couch. He started to beat his head with his fist.

  He grunted, “ARGHH!!”

  I stood in front of him and grabbed his forearm as he went in for another blow on his head.

  “What was that about?”

  He looked up, face painted red. “You aren’t going to believe this one.”

  “What is it Marc? That conversation sounded pretty serious.”

  “Trey is back in Poughkeepsie.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Ask me why he’s back in Poughkeepsie?”

  “I’m not playing twenty-one questions with you Marc.”

  “His stepdad — get this — is Xarponian.”

  “How? I mean but doesn’t that mean Trey is...”

  “No, but Trey’s sister Crystal is.”