Carnal Risk

by Kym Grosso

  Garrett stood tall, wearing only his pants. She cupped her hand over her eyes, straining to see where Lars had gone. Why had he let him in the house? She’d told him she didn’t want to see Garrett.

  “We’re not finished.”

  “Yes we are. I quit. It’s over. I have nothing more to say.”

  “This is far from over,” he countered.

  “What? No. Garrett. Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Evan, but I’m done apologizing. You wanted me to trust you and I did. You wanted everything from me.” Her voice cracked as fresh tears came. “And I gave it to you.”

  “Selby…please…”

  “It wasn’t enough.” She licked her lips and shook her head, embarrassed that she’d begun crying again.

  Selby startled as he stepped into the pool with his pants on and swam toward her. She backed up against the side but there was nowhere to go. He surfaced, caging her with his hands. Dripping wet, he pinned his eyes on hers.

  “I’m sorry, Selby. Please. I know this isn’t exactly how things should go. I should have trusted you.”

  “You didn’t believe me.” Both furious and exhilarated, she struggled with her warring emotions.

  “I know I should have, but you have to see this from my perspective. It’s not like I didn’t have any evidence.”

  “But I told you the truth and you didn’t believe me. I know I should have told you sooner but you didn’t trust me.” Her palms pressed flat against his slippery chest. As she’d expected, touching his skin ignited her desire.

  “I made a mistake.” He brought his lips to her ear. “Please. We all make mistakes.”

  “You hurt me,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” His eyes teemed with remorse. “Please, Selby. I need you in my life. This isn’t just some passing thing between us. You know it.”

  “I need you to trust me, too.”

  “I do, Selby. I swear it. Forgive me,” he pleaded.

  “Garrett…” His abdomen brushed up against hers and the explosive heat she remembered flared to life. She’d dreamed he’d come for her, that they’d be able to somehow right an impossible situation.

  “I’m sorry. I was wrong. So wrong. Please say you forgive me.”

  Selby’s lip trembled as she lost herself in his eyes. His apology filled the cracks in her heart, and she could no longer resist. Garrett was a risk worth taking. If he could give her a second chance, she’d damn well give him one.

  “I forgive you.” As the words left her lips, any remaining doubts disappeared. She rubbed her face into his shoulder, accepting his embrace.

  “Oh God, thank you, yes.” His cool lips pressed to her skin. “I missed you so much, sweetheart.”

  “I missed you, too. I was so upset.” She raised her gaze to meet his, their lips inches apart. “What I feel for you…I know we haven’t known each other very long. But I…I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

  “No, no, no. You’re all mine now.”

  Selby smiled into their kiss as their lips touched, elated he’d come for her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him. Her heart exploded as he swept his tongue against hers, gently taking her mouth.

  “I need you with me,” he told her. “Always.”

  “Don’t leave me,” she responded.

  “You left me.” He laughed.

  “This is complicated.” Selby shuddered in anticipation as he untied the back of her suit. A strong hand cupped her breast and she moaned as his thumb strummed over her nipple, jolting her body alive with arousal.

  “Not really. I like you.” His lips left hers for a second, their foreheads touching. “I more than like you, Miss Reynolds.”

  “I like you, too.” She smiled.

  “In or out of the pool?” he asked.

  “Hmm? What?”

  Garrett reached between her legs, and slid his fingers through her slit. She gasped as he drove his finger up into her core.

  “I think in the pool. Yes?” He raised an eyebrow at her, giving her a sexy grin.

  “Yes.” She nodded, breathless from his intrusion. “I, ah….can’t wait.”

  “I need to be inside you,” he growled.

  He tugged at the strings on her hips and her bikini bottom drifted away. As he fucked her with his hand, she pumped her pelvis to meet him. Selby tore at his pants, dragging them down his legs. She reached for his rock-hard shaft, swiping the cold water over him as she thumbed its head.

  “Now,” he demanded.

  She spread her thighs as he lifted her up onto him and slammed inside her.

  “Holy shit…oh my God.” His slippery cock plunged inside her. A sensation of hot and cold tingled through her core, and she screamed his name.

  “That’s right, baby. Say my name because I’m the one who’s going to own your heart.”

  “You do,” she admitted. More than he knew.

  Selby clutched Garrett as he rocked inside her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, gripping his muscled back. With his hands on the ledge, he held them afloat as he made love to her. He kissed her with a devastating passion that annihilated any last apprehension she’d held. All she could do was feel the desire and love that she’d been afraid to concede.

  Thrusting into her, he forcefully grazed his pelvis against her mound, tantalizing her clit with each stroke. With her bikini top half off, she clung to him, her body on fire, her swollen breasts crushed to his chest. No longer aware of space or time, she accepted him inside her. Tasting his lips, she returned his savage kiss, marking him as her lover, her future.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.” Selby’s orgasm rocketed forth and she moaned into his mouth.

  “Fuck, yeah, you are. That’s it, sweetheart.” He slowly retreated and deliberately thrust himself into her.

  “Garrett…yes, yes, yes.”

  “Never leave me again,” he told her.

  “Never…just…ah…that’s it…that’s it. Garrett,” she cried as she came. Her pussy fisted him as she submitted to her release.

  “Holy…ah yeah,” Garrett grunted as he spilled himself inside her.

  Selby’s hips jarred against his, milking every last spasm from his cock. His forehead fell to her shoulder and she smiled, her lips pressing to his neck. Joy swept through her as she breathed in his scent. Although the cool water surrounded her, she wore the sultry heat of her lover, enveloped in his arms.

  A brush of his lips to her temple brought her focus to his eyes. He gazed upon her. His intense stare reached into her soul and her heart flipped. She resisted saying the words, but fantasized about what it would be like to tell him she loved him, to break down that final emotional boundary.

  Garrett removed himself from Selby, but never released her from his embrace. Cradling her, he crossed the pool, lifting her out of the water. Nude, he carried her to the round open-aired cabana bed. Its mosquito netting loosely flapped in the breeze. He laid her down gently, reached for a warm pile of folded towels and covered her body. Spooning her, he rested his head onto his hand, glancing to the ocean.

  She shimmied backward until her bottom brushed his half-hard dick. A warm hand glided over her belly, resting beneath her breasts. Relaxation set in but she stilled as his lips touched her scar.

  “What happened to you?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, pretending not to understand.

  “This.” Garrett removed his arm from around her and trailed his forefinger down the long pale track.

  “I was a kid.” Selby’s muscles tensed as he caged her with his words. Ironically, though, she knew it would set her free to tell him. The shame she’d carried. Your fault. You should have known, her mother had told her.

  “We’ve all got scars, sweetheart. I don’t know what happened, but you can tell me.”

  “It was my fault,” she said, continuing to gaze at the horizon.

  “How old were you?”

  “Seven.”

  “What
ever happened can hardly be your fault. You were just a kid.” He kissed her scar, peppering her marred skin.

  “I’m tired.”

  “Rest, but tell me first.”

  She met his request with silence and closed her eyes. She vacillated between telling him everything and running to the house. Carrying the guilt for such a long time had been a nearly impossible burden to carry.

  “You’re safe with me. You can tell me. You’re one of the strongest women I know.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m just determined. I’m good at some things, but you’ve seen me. I’m not like your friends. I’m afraid.” Selby’s eyes teared as she spoke. The childhood trauma never left her mind. It had mutated, coexisting with her reality as an adult.

  “We all have fears, Selby. But that doesn’t mean you’re any less strong than anyone else. The pain that cracks us open, the kind that tears your soul apart; it’s sewn back together by friends and family supporting you. Time can be like a steel suture holding the wound together. Maybe it never goes away. But we survive. I see the fire in you. I love that about you.”

  Selby’s chest constricted at the word ‘love’ on his lips. It was as if he could see inside her, discovering her innermost secrets.

  “This thing between us…there is no one else for me. I will always be here for you. You’re safe,” he assured her.

  His lips brushed the back of her hair, the warmth of his breath teased her skin. Safe. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Selby couldn’t look at him, as she let the memory spill from her lips.

  “I was playing with friends. My mom, she was home but I don’t remember what she was doing. We lived near the woods. I was with a group, but somehow, there was this boy…no, he was a teenager. But I didn’t know him…they told me later that he was from the neighborhood. My memory is blurry in spots.”

  “You were only seven.”

  “We were playing in the trees. Somehow I got separated. He took my hand and led me further into the brush. I didn’t know where everyone was. I was alone. Why do you think that happened?” she asked thoughtfully. “I still feel like I should have known better.”

  “Selby, I don’t know who blamed you but whoever it was…was it a relative? Look, it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t your fault. There were plenty of times I was out by myself as a kid. Hell, I could have killed myself with some of the dumbass things I did. That’s what kids do. And when adults aren’t around…you know…it can be like Lord of the Flies. This world. There’s predators everywhere. They don’t all look evil either, so this boy, he may have seemed like a friend.”

  “He wasn’t mean. He just…he, um, he tried to…you know. I knew there was something wrong. Just that feeling you know it’s wrong. He pushed me down. He was on top of me.”

  “Did he…?”

  “No, he didn’t rape me. I think he wanted to. It happened so fast. He crushed me to the ground and then I fought. I fought and ran. But he chased me. He was so fast, so much faster than me. He shoved me down again. And we were near this creek. The mud and broken glass was everywhere. I don’t know how it got there. I guess maybe the bottles had been there from teenagers who’d been partying. I’m not sure. I didn’t see them until I went down. The blood was everywhere. I was screaming. He ran away but other kids heard me. They got their parents.”

  “Selby…” Garrett wrapped his arm around her protectively.

  “But it was at the hospital…I couldn’t get it out of my head. I know they were trying to help me but it was traumatic for me. You know, I was young. They had to hold me down. I couldn’t move. I think that was the first time I had an anxiety attack, and then in college it started again. But then in my twenties, I thought I had it under control. I guess you can’t really control it when it’s happening, but you know, I meditate and exercise. Sometimes it just goes away, they say. I don’t know. I’d been doing well…until last week.”

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know. I was just so upset about not telling you, and when I saw that thumb drive and you told me about what was on it…it was too much. You have no idea. I couldn’t believe it.”

  “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about what you just told me. Have you ever told anyone?”

  “No. My mom knew. The entire neighborhood found out. The kid went to juvie or whatever. I had to go through the whole police thing. I can remember them taking me into the courtroom…you know, to prepare me for the trial. But they must have done a plea deal. Anyway, it’s embarrassing. I don’t want people to know.”

  “You survived.”

  “Maybe, but still…you’re the only one who I’ve told as an adult. Even Lars doesn’t know.”

  “I won’t tell him.”

  “There’s something about you, Garrett.” Selby paused, noting that after all the years of hiding, concealing the dirtiness that plagued her soul, the humiliation had been eased. Perhaps not erased, but lessened. Garrett’s acceptance and acknowledgement soothed her. Intellectually, she’d known that she’d been a child, hadn’t been the cause of her ordeal, yet the validation had been a refreshing gift. Selby took a deep breath and released it. She took his hand, holding it to her chest. “You’re special to me.”

  “Baby, there’s something special about you too. You have no idea. I never thought I’d find someone. Hell, I wasn’t looking.” Garrett laughed and kissed her hair. “This thing that’s going on with the data, the killer. Dean and I are going to fix this.”

  “Someone on the inside…” Selby’s words trailed off as exhaustion claimed her. She yawned. “Someone knows.”

  “Yes.” Garrett went quiet, in thought. He hugged her tightly. “I won’t let anything happen to you again.”

  As she drifted in and out of sleep, Selby floated in paradise, her passion for Garrett fresh in her mind. She dreamed of a future with him and smiled. In the sanctuary of her imagination, she was free to express her private, inner thoughts.

  “I love you,” she whispered, her true feelings exposed.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Garrett celebrated Selby’s drowsy words, aware she hadn’t meant to say them. I love you. It should have terrified him, he knew. Instead, a rush of adrenaline surged through him, and he celebrated the disclosure. When he’d thought she’d betrayed him, he’d been crushed, wondering how he could have been so wrong. After he’d verified her story, he’d felt like shit for suspecting that she could have deceived him. While it was true that she hadn’t told him about Evan, she’d been correct; he wouldn’t have believed her story so soon after his death.

  Jumping into the pool had been an impulse, and he laughed to himself, thinking about the crazy things he’d done since meeting Selby. When he’d come to her, Lars had refused to let him in the house. It wasn’t until he’d sworn up and down that he’d beg on his knees if he had to in order to set things right with Selby, that Lars had agreed to allow him to see her. The spectacular sight of her, like a mermaid in the blue, set his heart afire. When he realized she wouldn’t come to him, there was no other choice but to go to her.

  He thanked God she’d forgiven him. Making love to her rocked his world, solidifying what he’d known; he was falling in love with her. When she’d told him how she’d suffered, had been assaulted, he’d wished he could find the asshole who’d hurt her and beat the ever-living shit out of him. The etiology of her cautious nature was driven by a deep-seated trauma, but in the short time she’d spent with him, she was slowly breaking free of the binds from her past.

  Garrett knew he shouldn’t let himself fall for a woman he’d only known for weeks. Hell, he was shocked that he could fall in love, period. It had been the most intense time of his life; two deaths had brought his perfect life crashing to the ground. Everything he’d thought was important had been rearranged like a complex puzzle. And now that the pieces were set anew, the image remaining was of Selby Reynolds in his home, in his life.

  Garrett snuggled into Selby
’s small form, wrapping his arms and legs around her as if creating an impenetrable shield around his lover. The coming week would present more challenges. Although a killer was on the loose, Cormac’s memorial had been planned. As he closed his eyes and submitted to the darkness, he prayed that he’d be able to keep his promise to keep her safe.

  “You don’t have to do this,” Garrett told Selby. He glanced to the armed guards he’d hired to watch over the proceedings. “I can stay here with you on the ground.”

  “No, that’s not fair to you. I can do this. It’s just a plane ride. It’s not like I’m jumping or anything,” she said.

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve flown in a plane before. It’s not my favorite thing but I certainly can do it,” she insisted.

  “You sure?”

  “Positive. We already discussed this. I’ll sit with you and after you jump, I’ll go sit in the front with Seth,” she said without hesitation.

  The King Air’s engines roared to life, and Garrett reluctantly nodded. As much as he wanted to participate in the ceremonial jump, he didn’t want to risk upsetting Selby. She’d moved back into his house, and for the first time in fifteen years, he’d taken off work for a couple of days, staying at home. Despite Chase’s involvement in the initial sample collection, there hadn’t been any further attacks. To no avail, he and Selby had pored through the files and laptop, searching for clues to identify the killer.

  During the past two days together, they’d made love and talked for hours. He’d been surprised when she’d admitted how much she enjoyed their sexual play, but he hadn’t pushed her any further since the day of her panic attack. Despite their conversations, she never mentioned having told him that she loved him, confirming that she’d said it in her sleep. He hadn’t broached the topic, but couldn’t go much longer without telling her the emotions that lay hidden in his heart.

  Like in everything he did in business and pleasure, Garrett knew exactly what he wanted. When this all was over, he planned to ask Selby to live with him permanently. The only reason he hadn’t proposed the idea already was because he didn’t want her thinking his decision had anything to do with the murders. The discussion would come soon enough, though, and when it did, he’d do it with a clear conscience, no blurred situations marring the moment.