Blood, Ink & Fire

by Ashley Mansour

  I get up and dress in the combat attire Lady M has hung for me in the wardrobe. The outfit is all black and brown, with patches of green-and-beige camouflage on my arms, legs, and torso. I zip the top up to my chin, then slip into the snug trousers. I force on the pair of combat boots left for me and head downstairs, fixing my hair into a low bun on the way. Banquo and Duncan greet me at the landing.

  “You look just like I thought you’d look. Doesn’t she, Banquo?” Duncan cries.

  “That depends, I don’t know how you thought she’d look, silly.” Banquo elbows him in the ribs, and Duncan giggles.

  “You’re pretty,” he says to me, shyly.

  “Thanks,” I say. “But today I need to be strong.”

  “I told you,” Banquo says. “She’s going to fight with the others.”

  “Wait? The others?” I stop him. “Banquo, what do you mean?” Just then Ros appears in the living room in full combat gear. “Well, I gotta admit it, you clean up pretty good. Almost as good as me,” she says, twirling. She does look pretty good in the uniform, with her strong limbs and excited eyes. I’d be afraid if I came across her in a dark alley.

  “So, you two,” she says, throwing an arm over Duncan’s and Banquo’s shoulders. “What’s a soldier gotta do to get some breakfast around here?”

  *

  In the kitchen, we each have cereal and hot tea as the sun rises. In moments, Ledger joins us, wearing a clean white shirt, his hair all messed up from the night before. He yawns and stretches, and I suppress the need to run into his arms and press my head against his chest. “Sleep well?” I ask him.

  “I barely slept,” he mutters. “Hey, guys,” he says, giving Duncan and Banquo a quick pat on the head. He catches me smiling. I flush and fixate on my tea, hoping he doesn’t see it. “So where is everyone?” he asks the room.

  “Asleep,” Duncan says. “Except for Daddy. He’s on the field with Mac and the soldiers.”

  “We should probably get going, then,” I say. “Mac will be waiting for us.”

  I notice Ledger’s jaw tighten, his eyes steel. “I’ll come with you,” he says abruptly.

  “You can’t,” Banquo tells him. “Papa says you two have to go with the soldiers. The training is just for Noelle.”

  Ledger’s brow wrinkles. “That’s what he said, huh?” The boys nod in unison.

  “All right. Well, I guess your dad knows best.” He kneels down in front of them. “You see Noelle here?” The boys stare up at me, then look intently back at Ledger. “She’s very important, very special. I need you to take good care of her.”

  “We can handle it,” Banquo says, taking charge. “We do this kind of thing all the time for Dad.”

  “I trust you boys. Come get me if anything happens.”

  “Like what?” Duncan says innocently.

  “Anything that isn’t supposed to happen.”

  Duncan and Banquo nod assuredly, beaming with their responsibility.

  I glare at Ledger as he stands up, not so thankful for my underage babysitters. “Be careful today.”

  “You, too.”

  *

  The field. It makes it sound like what the soldiers are doing out there is a game. Duncan and Banquo lead me from the house, past the barracks and the field toward the woods. I see instantly why my camouflage attire works: it’s the same color as the rolling hills surrounding Killem. Beyond the great house, the barracks, and the training grounds is wide-open, unfettered space—nothing but hills speckled with green-and-brown foliage for miles. In the distance, there’s a cluster of dark trees. A flock of black birds circle above it, swooping and diving toward the ground.

  Rows of soldiers run by us as we walk on, their eyes straight ahead, focused and stern. In the distance I hear the sounds of Fell weapons firing and cover my ears.

  “Don’t worry,” Banquo says, touching my arm. “We use their weapons for practice.”

  I nod as another team of soldiers passes. One girl catches my eyes, then quickly turns back into formation.

  “How many of them are there?”

  “We are the largest Sovereign, population-wise,” Banquo says. “That’s because of our army. Everyone must serve in the cause, so that makes us over eighty thousand strong. When Stoneleigh lost power, we took in some of their people. Many were doctors. They form our medical unit.”

  We hike up the hillside toward the trees. My boots crunch through the tall, thick grasses. They’re for stealth training, Banquo tells me. Soon the grasses give way to a meadow fenced in by a circle of tall deciduous trees. Banquo and Duncan stop abruptly.

  “Where’s your brother?” I ask, searching the meadow.

  “He’s there.” Banquo points into the distance, where the black birds are flying. But I don’t see anyone. “This is where we leave you.”

  “Wait, I thought you were going to stay?”

  When I turn around, Banquo and Duncan are running back through the grasses. Everything is quiet. A single black bird lands in the meadow. The air is still and quiet except for the flapping of its wings. My skin crawls as the silence permeates everything. I wish Ledger were with me and wonder why they insisted I be left out here alone.

  “Hello? Is anyone there?”

  I walk across the meadow toward the trees and gaze into the depths of the woods. A single leaf falls and lands at my feet. I look up. Something thuds behind me, sharp and heavy.

  “Don’t turn around,” says a voice. Hot breath prickles the back of my neck.

  “Mac?” I turn halfway.

  “I said don’t turn around!” The voice is full of gravel. “The next thirty seconds will determine whether you live or die.”

  “Wait? What?”

  “Don’t think,” he says. “Just react.”

  I don’t have a moment to process as something cold is shoved against my mouth and nose. His arms tighten around me as my airways constrict, my heart rate rises. I grab for his arms, his fingers, but I cannot find them. Then everything goes dark, and there’s no way to get any air. There’s no way to breathe!

  Calm down.

  This is part of it.

  I feel around me, trying to find whatever has a hold on me. I have to stop it before I pass out. Before I choke on my own panic. Against all instinct, I force myself to still. I stop struggling, letting my limbs deaden, my body fall slack. The grip around my nose and mouth loosens. Not completely but just enough. I wait. Then I fight.

  I fight with every muscle in my body, not caring for a second what’s around me. I wrench my face free and gulp in the air. I fall like a stone to the earth.

  A wad of spit lands next to me on the ground. “Not bad,” he says. “But you look uncomfortable.”

  I look up, trying to make out the face of the guy who nearly killed me. “Yeah, well you’d be uncomfortable, too, if someone tried to smother you. Not exactly an introduction I’m used to.”

  He kneels by me, just a shadow against the sun. “Let’s get one thing straight. This is not a picnic, soldier. Your job is to listen and learn. And if you do well enough, if you do what I say, you just might survive.”

  I spin onto my side and push myself up to get a better look at this guy. I’m shocked when I see his face. I know instantly he’s Duncan and Banquo’s brother. It’s the eyes. Caustic green and deeply set. They stare back at me intently. Searching. Sprays of short black hair crown his chiseled face. He might be considered handsome if he weren’t such a jerk.

  He leans toward me, his eyes narrowed. “How old are you, soldier?”

  “What does it matter?”

  He noses up to me, trying to intimidate me into an answer. “I asked you a question, soldier. I order you to respond.”

  “Is this how you treat the people who fight for you?”

  “The people who fight with me are soldiers. They respect authority.”

  “Well, I’m not one of your soldiers.”

  His eyes widen with a sudden fury. “Listen, I don’t care who you think you are or w
hat you’re doing here. This is my camp, and we train under my rules.”

  “Really? Because what I heard was your dad and your grandfather were army generals before you. Seems like you should be spending more time living up to your forefathers’ legacy rather than pretending it is yours and yours alone.”

  Mac brushes right up to my face, his eyes cool and calculated. “At least my father is still alive.”

  He knows? How does he know about me? My legs weaken as the familiar guilt takes hold inside of me.

  “That’s right,” Mac says, smiling. “Your parents were murdered by Fell. Isn’t that right? And what did you do about it? Did you stop them? Did you even try?”

  “H-h-how do you know about that?” I stammer.

  “It doesn’t matter how I know,” he says, stepping close to me. “It doesn’t matter because Fell knows. And they’ll use it against you, the same way I just did.” Mac circles me. “They will disarm you. And if you don’t figure out that I’m here to make you stronger, they will break you.”

  I feel the urge to run, to escape. But I cannot move. I’m overcome with guilt, fear, and anger. “I couldn’t save them,” I murmur. “I wasn’t even there.”

  “That’s right,” Mac says, observing me. “Feel everything now while you still can, because when we start, you’ll need to remember these feelings. You’ll need to draw upon them. They will become the fuel that will help keep you safe. Now, do you want to learn how to survive or don’t you?”

  I nod and wipe my face.

  “Good,” he says. “Then do as I said before and don’t turn around. I want you to get used to that feeling.”

  “What feeling?”

  “The feeling of being blindly attacked.”

  *

  I’m ambushed repeatedly for what feels like hours. Each time, Mac overpowers me effortlessly even as I struggle to fight him off with all my might. Finally he stops me.

  “You’re making a crucial mistake,” he says. “You will never be able to fight strength against strength and overpower your enemy. They will always be bigger, stronger, and hit harder.”

  “Great. So what chance do I possibly have?” I catch my breath. My lungs feel full of splinters.

  “Dispel your fear. Cause pain. And never give in.”

  “Assuming I get over the fear part, how do I cause pain?”

  Mac smiles, his teeth gleaming white. “I’m so very glad you asked.”

  He shows me several moves. A throat grab can be met with a jab to the face. Aim for the eyes, he tells me. If I’m attacked from behind, I should lean forward and reach for their groin. And lastly, my favorite, the carotid artery palm slap. One open-handed hit to just the right spot in the middle of the neck could take a grown man to the floor.

  We practice. It’s almost impossible to keep anything in my head while I’m under threat. I feel so powerless, as though the events of the last couple of weeks are hitting me all at once. But we keep going. Mac won’t let me stop for anything more than a quick break, a quick chug of water from the canteen.

  “You won’t have a rest if they capture you,” he says. “And Fell won’t wait for you to recover before attacking again.”

  We go another round, this time Mac rushing me from a distance. I’m supposed to wait for the right moment to react and disarm him. I listen for his footfall, tuning in to my surroundings, using that other sense that tells me when something bad is about to happen. Mac says everyone has this, but I’m struggling to find it. I concentrate on this as he runs at me, then I hunker down, reaching underneath him, then stand to disarm him with the carotid artery hit. But I’m too early, and Mac knocks me to the ground, pushing my cheek into the dirt. I sit up and wipe the soil from my face. “What the hell was that? You were way too early.”

  “I know,” I say, spitting grit out into the grass.

  “You panicked.”

  “Because I can’t feel anything!” I shout. “It’s like I’m totally numb.”

  “You’re afraid.” Mac kneels. “You’re letting the fear own you. But you have to own it instead. You have to grab it by the balls and pull it down. Understand?”

  I nod my head yes. But the truth is I don’t understand.

  “Remember, if you don’t feel it, fake it until you do. Try, soldier.”

  “Fine,” I say, getting up. Everything in my body hurts, but there’s no stopping. Mac comes at me again, and I’m not ready. I turn around and duck, covering myself and cowering on the ground. “No!” Mac shouts furiously. “Don’t ever turn around. You just blew the element of surprise. Remember in a situation where you are being hunted, the element of surprise is all you have. To make them think you don’t know they are coming. To make them think they have one on you. That’s what you must do.”

  I nod, frustrated. “Okay. I know.”

  “Then do it right this time! Don’t let the fear own you. If you fail, I’m taking you down anyway, so you have nothing to lose.”

  “It’s just that . . . ,” I say as Mac starts to back up. “I know you’re not really going to hurt me. It doesn’t feel totally real.”

  “Well, we can fix that if you want,” he says, edging closer. “We can make this very real.” He pulls out a blade and holds it up to my throat. The tip caresses my skin so I can feel the sharpness. I know it could open me up with just a flick of his wrist. “This time, if you don’t do it properly, you’re going to get cut.”

  “Great. Sounds fun.”

  “You wanted real.” He shrugs. “That’s what I’m giving you.”

  “How deep are we talking?”

  “I don’t know yet,” Mac says, backing up. “Depends on how crappy a job you do. Now turn around.”

  I steady myself and focus all my senses. I listen to my breath and tune in to the sounds around me. The stillness of the wind. The flapping of birds’ wings. The distant hum and sparks of gunfire from the training grounds. In moments, I hear Mac’s footsteps. He’s not backed up as far this time. And he’s running fast. I listen close for the distance, the sound of him right up on me.

  Not yet. Just wait.

  It feels like an eternity to stand there, knowing he’s coming for me. I imagine him now with the face of Scythe. The man who shot John. Who tried to kill me, too. I hear the blade flick open, the swish of the metal hitting the air.

  Now! Move now!

  I plunge to the ground and force my arms underneath his, grabbing his body in the most intimate area. I pull, using his forward momentum to inflict pain, bringing him to the earth. I lunge at him, jabbing him in the neck, just hard enough for him to notice. I grab his head in my hands, ready to twist and snap. The final blow.

  “How was that?” I say breathlessly, my hands still gripping his head.

  “Not bad.” Mac looks up at me, amused.

  “Not bad?” I laugh. “I had you!”

  “You made contact. But you did not have me.”

  “How?” I ask, incredulous.

  “You forgot one thing.” Mac wiggles his right arm. “If I move this an inch to the right, I’ll sever your femoral artery, and you’ll bleed to death in less than a minute. So I’d say that I had you, actually.”

  “Ugh!” I groan, releasing him and sitting back on my heels. “This is all pointless. No matter how much I train, Scythe will always have the upper hand.”

  “Scythe? What kind of name is that?”

  I sigh in frustration. “The name of a trained killer, apparently.”

  Mac looks at me a moment, a flicker of strange concern across his brow. “A Fell assassin. Figures.”

  “Right. Like I was saying. I don’t stand a chance.”

  “Come on, get up.” Mac helps me rise. “Let’s keep going.”

  We practice until the sky starts to change. A cluster of thin clouds forms above us, as we go round after round in the meadow. My legs feel like lead, and I’m sure I’m staggering. Finally Mac holds up his hand and says, “Enough. Break for ten.”

  We stop and sit. Mac throw
s me something wrapped from his pack. A thick brown loaf, which when I tear it open is full of warm meat, vegetables, and gravy. “My grandmother makes them for us,” he says. “She likes to bake sometimes.”

  I nod and eat in silence, grateful for the rest and the nourishment. When I’m finished, I sip some water from the canteen and lean back on the grass to watch the blackbirds swoop overhead, in and out of trees. I can tell Mac is watching me.

  “You know what they told me when you first got here?” he says.

  I shake my head. “No. And I wouldn’t want to guess either.”

  “It’s nothing bad like that.”

  Mac leans back, mirroring me. We’re both staring up at the sky, digesting our food. For a split second, it feels almost . . . peaceful.

  “They said you and your grandfather were found in the road outside the Winnow, that you had sunstroke and were unconscious. My grandmother said you must have been very brave.” I turn on my side and stare at him. “She said that?”

  “Yep. Brave isn’t a word we throw around lightly here in Killem.”

  “Hah. I bet you don’t think I’m so brave.”

  Mac hesitates. “You should give yourself more credit. You’re not a coward, you know. If you were, you wouldn’t be here.”

  “I may not be a coward, but I’m not going to win against Fell.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because. It’s the truth!” I stand up and brush crumbs and dirt off the front of my uniform. “I can feel it. Deep in my bones I feel it. I’m not going to be able to win against Scythe.”

  Mac’s eyes turn to needles. “We’re not finished here yet. I still have more to show you.”

  “Mac, look at me. How am I supposed to stop him? When Fell comes for me, I shouldn’t try to fight back. I shouldn’t try to stop the inevitable.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “You won’t understand this, but it might be better for everyone if I surrender.”

  “My family said you would say that.”

  “They did?”

  “Mmhmm. They say you made a deal with Fell. That you escaped the Vales, and Fell killed your parents. They say you’ve been to the Sovereigns and taken the volumes of the Risers. That you can actually read them.”