Best Friends...Forever?

by Krysten Lindsay Hager

  "Hey, there's space at my table," she said. I followed her. Her friends were all talking about their volleyball game. I had nothing to add to the conversation, but I was grateful to be included. When they were done eating, they asked if I wanted to join them in a game outside. I stink at volleyball, so I said, "No, thanks," and went to the library where I found a worn copy of the Skylar Halston Christmas special edition mystery. I went to the little kids' section and pulled a beanbag chair by the window. I stared out the window and watched Maggie, Ashanti, and Halle practicing cheerleading jumps.

  ****

  The next day was the Valentine's Day party. I normally liked the holiday — it involved candy, people giving each other cards, and the teachers usually were pretty lax, well, lax for Hillcrest Academy anyway. They didn't let us have a real party with music and anything fun, but we could eat a cupcake at our desk and "talk quietly as long as we didn't disturb our neighbors doing schoolwork." Neighbors? Why did teachers talk so weird? Why didn't they just say, "Hey, you guys can talk. Just don't be so loud that the person at the next table can't hear himself think, okay?"

  Ms. Ashcroft had said we were going to make milk carton Valentine mailboxes, but apparently that could have caused problems for students with milk allergies. Instead we just got boring white lunch bags, which we decorated, and she taped to our desks so other kids could put cards in them. She went through this whole thing at the beginning of the week about how if you were going to give a card to one kid, you had to give one to everybody, which no one ever listened to. I had brought a few valentines in my bag to hand out to anyone who gave me one. Since I didn't want to look desperate by handing them out to the whole class, I decided I'd fill the cards out as I went. However, I did put some in the bags of people I knew wouldn't get many cards. By the end of third period, I went in between classes to check on my bag. I had one card in there, and I recognized Tad Johnston's handwriting on the envelope. Good 'ol Tad, the only person who followed the rule about the cards for everyone. I had already put a card in his bag.

  At lunch, Ashanti was sitting at a different table. Hana said Ashanti was with Jay because he had gotten her a chocolate bear and a carnation.

  "That's so sweet," I said.

  "Any messages from Vladi?" she asked.

  I shook my head. "But here, I wanted to give you your card in person."

  Hana's face lit up reading the card. "Thanks, Landry. I didn't buy cards this year because…well, last year I handed them out to everyone and only got two back."

  She told me that three guys on our bus had given Devon cards. Apparently, Devon didn't even know one of their names. And me? By fourth period, I had two cards in my bag: Tad's and one from Thalia with a heart lollipop attached. That was just not my holiday. Too bad, since I loved the fact it broke up the cold, blah wintertime with its cheerful colors and dedication to chocolate.

  I was feeling kind of down when I went to pick up my Valentine bag at the end of the day. Then I noticed I had two new cards in it. One was from Ashanti, and there was a bag of candy hearts attached to it. Tori had given me a card, and there was also a folded up piece of notebook paper in there. It was from Hana, thanking me again for the card. I went to head to the bus when Tad came up to me to thank me for my card.

  "Oh, glad you liked it," I said.

  "Can I ask you something kinda weird?" he asked.

  "Sure."

  "Did you put it in my bag before or after you got my card?" he asked. "Because I know you didn't pass them out to everyone. I asked around."

  "Before."

  "Oh…wow. Thanks, Landry…um, it was the only one I got." Then he walked away before I could say anything.

  I went to my locker and thanked Thalia for the candy and said I hoped she liked the chocolate hearts I got her.

  "What hearts?" she asked.

  "The bag of hearts that I taped to the envelope."

  "I didn't get anything from you — or anyone," she said just as Ashanti walked up.

  "This is weird. I gave Thalia something for Valentine's Day, and she didn't get it," I said.

  "Did you get mine?" Ashanti asked her.

  "You got me something?" Thalia's eyes widened.

  "Yeah, a card."

  Thalia shook her head.

  "I gave you one, and I know you got at least one other, because Tad was putting them in everyone's bag and his was in there."

  Thalia shrugged. "I dunno. Thanks, though."

  Ashanti and I walked out to the bus when we heard Stuart making a loud comment about how he'd hate to be a loser who got nothing on Valentine's Day. I exchanged a look with Ashanti. "You don't think he took anything, do you?" I asked.

  "Let's not say anything to her just in case. Right now she can pretend both of us were too dumb to find the right bag."

  I nodded. Yasmin got on the bus and sat in the seat across the aisle from me. I couldn't help but notice her Valentine bag was pretty full. Mine wasn't, but at least I had a couple of good friends who took time to give me something. I might not have had a lot of cards and candy, but at least they were from real friends unlike the fake ones Yasmin hung around with — people who acted like they were best friends until someone got up and walked away, and then they all talked about that person.

  I checked my e-mail when I got home, hoping for an e-card from Vladi, but nope. Nothing. I did get a message from Thalia, saying Kyle and Stuart said something weird to her about how they got the best chocolate hearts ever, so she was pretty sure they took her stuff.

  I wrote back asking if she was positive, and she wrote, "Well, when someone stands close behind you and says, 'It almost wasn't worth taking only three cards. How pathetic,' you kinda put two and two together."

  Why were people so mean? I asked Thalia if she was okay, and she said she just wanted to forget about the whole thing and then told me she had to start her homework. I wished we had some proof Kyle and Stuart took her stuff so we could say something to the teacher. At least all boys weren't like that. Vladi would never pick on someone like that or try to make them feel bad. I felt dumb that I had run out on him that night at the game, and I wished I could run into him and explain. E-mailing him just seemed so bold. I wasn't ready for bold, but after basketball season was over, I wouldn't have any opportunities to see him anymore. What was I supposed to do then?

  ****

  At school, Ashanti asked if I'd stay after with her, since two girls from the high school squad were going to work with them. There were a bunch of girls from other schools there, too. Two varsity cheerleaders performed a routine for the group. They moved their arms stiffly, and their legs seemed to stretch in unnatural positions. Ashanti had wanted me to try out with her, and I was glad that I had said no, because I was pretty sure my legs didn't bend that way.

  One of the high school girls asked for volunteers, and Arianna, Maggie, and Halle went up to try the routine. Arianna stepped behind the other girls, but Maggie and Halle nailed it on the first try. The next group got up, and I was shocked to see Devon there, and India was trying out with her. India even managed to do the split jump that the other girls were having trouble with. They went to sit down, and I saw Peyton sitting with them. I thought she had just come to watch like me, but she got up with the next group to practice the routine.

  Great, the three of them would make the cheerleading squad so they could have fun together in high school. I could just imagine them walking down the high school hallway in their matching cheerleading outfits, their arms linked. Of course, Ashanti would make the team, too, so she'd be their cheerleading buddy. Then Devon or India would start dating Vladi, and I could crawl into a hole and die. Ashanti sat back down and wiped her face with a towel.

  "You did that jump perfectly. You'll make it for sure," I said.

  "Thanks. I still wish you'd try out with me. We could have so much fun at the practices, and then you could cheer for Vladi next year," she said.

  I said I'd think about it. After all, I had a little while to dec
ide, so I went home and tried to do some of the jumps. Sure, I could do some of the moves, but I couldn't do the splits or a cartwheel on one arm. India, Devon, and Peyton had taken gymnastics classes the past summer, so they had no problem doing any of the routines. They all seemed like they had the choreography down, while I was like a scarecrow blowing in the wind.

  I went over to Ashanti's on Thursday to practice the routines, but I still hadn't made up my mind about trying out. Instead, I kept hoping everything would suddenly come together, and I'd be an amazing cheerleader, but it was as if I had no control over my body. How did Devon and Ashanti manage to do it so perfectly? Maybe it was because they were both short. Tiny people always looked better in clothes, and they didn't make fools out of themselves when they danced.

  "Can you show me how to do the cartwheel on one hand?" I asked.

  "Sure," she said. She went head over heels so fast I completely missed how she did it. I tried to get her to slow down, but she said it wasn't something she had to think about.

  "You just kind of do it," she said.

  I tried again, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe my arms weren't strong enough, or maybe I was too afraid to let go and just do it.

  "Maybe you could be one of the spotters when we have to do mounts," she said.

  I might have been tall, but there was no way I'd have been able to keep anyone from falling. Besides, I was the skinniest girl at the tryouts, so they'd have probably put me on top of the mount. I was just wasting my time. I could have used modeling as my excuse for not trying out as if I would be too busy with jobs for it, but no one had called with a job for me. It was embarrassing to have gone through all I did with that stupid competition months before and then have no one want me. Sure, I got an agent out of it, but even she told my mom she sent out a press release about me and even the local newspaper hadn't bothered to contact her. Maybe I had been unrealistic about the idea of modeling, and all those girls from school were right — they had picked me just because of my height. Instead of feeling like model material, I felt invisible.

  Chapter Eleven

  On the day of the tryouts, I went with Ashanti for moral support.

  "You okay?" she asked. "You're awful quiet."

  I shrugged. How did I tell her what I was actually worried about? That I knew she'd be chosen for the squad, and I was afraid she'd get close with all those girls and have no time to hang out with me? I would never have told her that, so I just said I'd been depressed since Peyton and I had stopped talking.

  "I kind of want to go over and wish Peyton luck," I said. "But I don't want to get shot down."

  Ashanti nodded. "I'll go over with you, and I'll do the talking. If she wants to talk to you, she can and, if not, well I'll be standing there, so it's not like she can just walk away and make you look stupid."

  "Thanks."

  We waited until Peyton went to get a drink of water and then walked up to her.

  "Hi," Ashanti said. "We both just wanted to wish you good luck today."

  "Oh, thanks. You too," she said, looking straight at Ashanti.

  I decided to jump in then. "I'm not trying out. I don't have all the routines down and…well, I kind of stink at the somersaults and stuff," I said.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced around uncomfortably. I exchanged a nervous look with Ashanti.

  "I think the squad will be great if a bunch of the Hillcrest girls get on it," Ashanti said.

  "I don't actually want to be here," she said. "Devon and India begged me to try out, but I don't want to be a cheerleader. I don't want to have to practice for hours after school, and I don't want to wear those short skirts."

  "Hey, do you want to come over tonight?" Ashanti asked. "Landry is coming over after tryouts."

  "I'm supposed to sleep over at Devon's tonight," she said.

  "Oh, okay. Never mind."

  "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Peyton said. I started to smile, and then she said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Ashanti. And good luck."

  She had acted like I wasn't even there. Wow.

  They called the next group up, and we went back in the gym. Tori was there, which was weird since she'd never mentioned trying out to me. It hit me how far apart we had gotten as friends. Ashanti went up and her jumps were flawless. She looked like a professional as she did the cartwheel, but she added an extra step at the end of the routine.

  "I can't believe I messed up," she said, sitting next to me.

  "You were great. I'm sure you'll get picked."

  Devon and India were in the next group. They both started out good, but Devon stumbled at the end after her cartwheel when she lost her balance. Peyton was in the last group and she looked confident as she did the split jump and went into the cartwheel. They called out the numbers of who made the first cut. Ashanti, India, Peyton, and Devon were all chosen. Peyton decided not to go on to the next level and sat alone instead of with me.

  "Are you sure?" one of the girls asked her. "You were super good."

  "Thanks, but I don't like it enough to go to practice every day," she said. "And some of the older girls who will be in charge next year are jerks."

  In the next round, the girls had to cheer by themselves instead of in groups. Maggie went first, and executed her jumps like a professional. Devon went next and fell on her knees when she did a back flip. She does backflips all the time and never falls. My heart went out to her as she seemed embarrassed, but she got up and finished the routine.

  "I feel so bad for her," I said and felt dumb for saying it aloud. I glanced around to see if anyone heard, and Peyton was staring at me without any expression on her face, making me wonder what she was thinking. Tori came over and sat down.

  "This just isn't for me," she said. "My mom thought maybe it would be a good idea to have a second sport on my high school transcript for colleges, but I dunno. I'm not into it."

  At the end of the practice, they announced who had been chosen for next year's squad. Maggie, Halle, India, and Ashanti had all made it, but Devon's name wasn't called. Peyton went over to talk to her while I congratulated Ashanti.

  I heard a lot of people saying, "Maybe next year," and a bunch of the girls were crying.

  Ashanti, Tori, and I went to meet Ashanti's dad in the parking lot.

  "I'm guessing things went well, since you're all smiling," he said.

  "I made it," Ashanti said.

  "Good for you, but remember Mom and I are expecting straight A's, so no cheering if it affects your grades," he said. "Landry, did you decide to try out after all?" he asked.

  I shook my head. "I still can't do the splits."

  "Me either." He winked at me.

  Ashanti wanted to stay longer to watch the older girls practice, so her dad took Tori and me home. I told Mr. Russell he could drop Tori off at my house.

  My mom wasn't home yet, so I grabbed a box of brownies and two bottles of juice. Tori and I sat on my bed, and although we were talking again, things were still a little weird between us. I knew we should probably talk things over, but I didn't want to get into it, and I could tell she didn't either.

  "Did you get the special edition Skylar Halston book?" she asked.

  "There's a special edition?" I asked.

  "Yeah, Sterling and Caramel witness a murder. I haven't gotten it yet, but I heard it's twice as big as the regular books."

  Neither one of us knew what to say after that, so we both shoved the brownies into our mouths. Tori started looking at the new bookshelves dad had put up on the wall next to my bed. I had a few new mysteries she hadn't read yet.

  "How are things going with your parents?" she asked.

  I shrugged. "My dad was hoping that he could transfer to a clinic here by February, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. He's still planning to move here though."

  "That's good. How's Vladi?" she asked.

  I told her I hadn't talked to him in a while.

  "He seems like a nice guy," she said. "You know, I saw
him at one of the cheerleading tryout practices the other day. His team was finishing up in the gym as we were going in, and he asked Peyton why you were so upset that night."

  "He did?"

  "Mm-hmm. She just said it was a misunderstanding. I didn't know what was going on…I dunno. I never know what's going on with you anymore."

  "Wait, he acted like he didn't know why I left?" I asked. She nodded. "I ran out of there and called my mom because I thought Peyton was telling him what a backstabbing jerk I was. I haven't talked to him since then."

  She asked why I thought Peyton would talk about me behind my back. I shrugged and said I was used to that. She nodded and said Ericka had done that to her, too.

  "Okay, let's make a pact that we'll never talk bad about one another behind each other's backs no matter how mad we get," she said.

  I felt like saying, "What about what you guys did to me?" But I didn't. After all, it wouldn't help, and I honestly didn't know if she would see her part in any of it. I just had to hope the next time around she was going to be a good friend.

  "Let's promise not to stop speaking to each other, too. I hate that," I said.

  My mom came home exhausted and suggested that we order take-out. She handed the two of us some take-out menus and told us to choose. I wanted to see if Tori could spend the night, but I was afraid Mom might say no, so I waited until Tori went to the bathroom to ask.

  "I haven't had anybody over to spend the night in forever," I said.

  "Okay, just don't be too loud," she said. I had a feeling she said it was okay because no one had called me in the last few weeks. Ashanti was busy with cheerleading practice, and Thalia hadn't called either. I think Mom was worried that something might have happened because she had made a joke about how quiet the phone had been. But I didn't think it was funny.

  Tori called her parents, and they said she could stay. Her mom said she'd drop her stuff off. Mom picked up dinner from the Chinese restaurant. We opened our fortune cookies, and Tori's cookie said, "A period of transition awaits you."