The Nerdy Necromancer (The Deadicated Matchmaker Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  He nodded, but he stared at it like it was going to bite him.

  "Did you go in?"

  He nodded again.

  "I'm not really following. If it's a natural cave, it's been here for years. I'm not sure what the big deal is."

  Hank chuckled, but it wasn't in amusement. "Do you know who owns this town?"

  I gave him a curious stare. "Rumor is the founder is the one who owns the Deadication Agency."

  He nodded. "Portia Kadish." He ventured closer to the cave. "She founded the town and the agency. It's an odd thing, don't you think? All of the people who live here finding perfect soul mates and never having to leave?"

  I guess I'd never thought about it that way, but I was a romantic at heart. "You're a cynic. You don't believe in soul mates?"

  Hank gave a dismissive huff of breath. "It's not being a cynic to know that love isn't quite the hearts and flowery notion we believe it to be."

  "I disagree. Relationships aren't all hearts and flowers, but love can be. Especially at the beginning. Once you've known someone for awhile, it deepens. Morphs into something stronger." I stepped closer to him. "You've never had that?" I didn't know what I was talking about. I hadn't had it either. The closest I'd come to love was my high school boyfriend who only dated me so he could talk to his deceased sister. I had flings, but they were outside the town. I didn't really believe in sowing my wild oats where my home was.

  Hank's gaze darkened. "Love isn't all it's cracked up to be," he mumbled.

  "No, but the falling certainly can be fun, don't you think?"

  Our gazes crashed into each other. His fell to my lips. I stood there like a hunted deer. Thoughts swirled in my head a hundred miles an hour. I thought Hank might be attracted to me. I knew you didn't have to like someone to find them physically attractive, but the truth was...I kind of liked him. Even though I annoyed him, the heat in his eyes wasn't anger. It was different.

  He stepped closer to me, filling my personal space up. His thumb reached out and stroked the bottom of my lip. Heat poured through me at his touch.

  "Falling is never fun," he whispered.

  I tilted my face up and stared into his caramel eyes. "You don't like that feeling when your stomach drops out from under you and all you can think about is that person?"

  He shook his head. "I have other things to think about. Plants. Dirt. Growing seasons."

  "Why, Hank, that sounds awfully boring."

  A smile quirked his lips. "Why do I find you so distracting?" he murmured more to himself than me.

  I took a step closer, so close I could feel the heat of his chest against my skin. "It's my hair. You're secretly interested in biology rather than botany. Admit it."

  His other hand reached and tugged a strand of my hair. I closed my eyes only to feel him step away.

  "Right," he said. "This cave is why I brought you here. I need to show you what's inside."

  I blinked and swallowed hard. Right. Okay. Hank might be physically attracted to me, but his willpower was stronger than his physical drive. Good to know. "After you, sir." I gestured for him to go first.

  "So generous," he quipped.

  "You said you had strength and speed. I am merely a weak necromancer. So if you die, I can bring you back. Versus if I die, there's no one to bring me back. Win, win, right?"

  Hank rolled his eyes, ducked down, and entered the cave. I followed behind, shuddering as spider webs stuck to my hair. Caves weren't for people. They were for animals and things that went bump in the night. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

  "Hank, do we really have to do this? What's so big about a cave on my property anyway?"

  Hank ignored me. He fished around on the tool belt he wore and pulled out a flashlight. This told me we were going deeper into the cave.

  "We can just stay right here. I'm totally fine with it."

  "Helen?"

  "Yes?"

  "Can it."

  "Hank," I hissed, "you have me in a creepy cave. If you were going to clobber me over the head and rob me, you had seven acres above ground to do it!"

  "I never planned to clobber you, but if you don't stop talking I may reconsider it."

  He clicked on the light, sending a small beam of dusty light into the darkness. The cave was a whole lot larger than I expected. No bears came rushing out at us, so my shoulders dropped just a touch. I was still completely freaked out, though.

  "Follow me," he said.

  "You could just tell me, you know. You don't have to be all secretive."

  "I'm not sure you'd believe me. In fact, I'm not even sure I believe myself. Plus, I'm not a hundred percent sure what it is, though I have strong suspicions." He led the way through the dark, careful to keep his footing steady. I stepped exactly where he did. I didn't want any Indiana Jones' traps springing out and me getting impaled by arrows or something.

  We must have walked for twenty minutes. I was getting more nervous by the second because that was quite a long time to be in a cave and not hit the end of it. Nerves were squirming in my stomach. Hank stopped abruptly and moved the flashlight directly in front of us. Light gleamed on what appeared to be a door. A very large, steel door.

  "Huh. That can't be right."

  'That's exactly what I said." Hank stepped a little bit closer. "As soon as I saw the door, I left and came back to the house. I have a pretty strong suspicion about where it goes."

  I frowned at his back. "Where?"

  Hank glanced back at me, his eyebrows raised. "How often do you get out?"

  "Rude," I muttered.

  "There's been a rumor about Midnight Cove ever since it became incorporated as a town. Portia Kadish is a notorious recluse. She has rarely been seen out of the agency she built. So how does she get around?"

  I looked at the door and back at him. "No," I breathed.

  "Maybe." Hank moved the flashlight to look at the door in greater detail. There was writing around the edges of it. When he went to touch the handle, he jerked it back with a hiss.

  "Magic?" I stepped closer to look at it.

  "Has to be. It's too hot to touch."

  I closed my eyes for a moment, focused my thoughts, and slowed my breathing. When I opened them again, the writing was glowing. "It's a spell," I murmured, squinting as I tried to make out the letters from the top. "A locking spell. Clever."

  "Has no one been by your house asking about your land?" Hank asked.

  I shook my head. "Not that I'm aware of."

  "I wonder if they already know it's here."

  "I have wards on my property. The back at least. If anyone stepped around the side of the house, they would trigger. I'd know if someone were here. Maybe not who, but I’d sense their presence."

  "What if they came the back way?" he asked.

  I thought about it. I'd only set the wards up for the two acres I'd explored. I hadn't thought to extend them back any further. "Possible," I admitted. "But how would they know about this door?"

  Hank watched as I stepped closer to door. My fingers itched to touch it.

  "I wouldn't," he said as I reached out to it.

  "I might be able to unlock it." I didn't have strong magic other than in necromancy, but at heart I was a magician. I could do some simple things, maybe more if I practiced.

  He shook his head. "You have no idea what lies behind that door, Helen. I think it's in your best interest to pretend you're ignorant."

  My mouth turned down. "Then why did you show me?"

  "Because I don't believe for a second that no one else knows about this. I'm very curious how you managed to purchase this land without a fight."

  "I saw it. I liked it. I bought it." That was the entire story.

  Hank twisted his lips to the side as if he was thinking very hard. "Too easy. If I can find this door, anyone can."

  "Most people don't climb into dark caves as part of their daily routines."

  Hank had already turned around and was calling for me to follow. "Your land backs up
to the agency. They know for sure it exists. I wonder if they were the ones who sold it to you."

  "Does it matter?" I said with a sigh. "It's my land. I have no issues with Portia Kadish using it if she needs to."

  Hank helped me out of the cave. "People have been trying to get into that agency of hers for years. This is the perfect way to do it. It's warded to the gills above ground."

  I thought about the spell guarding the door. "That door seemed pretty secure too."

  "But it isn't guarded. Someone could have been coming here for years trying to figure out that spell. You have a gold mine here, Helen. A dangerous gold mine."

  I made some sandwiches for us and made sure I drank a lot more water than normal. I was still feeling a little woozy from yesterday. While we were eating, Hank reached down into his backpack and pulled out his clipboard. "I wanted to show you what I came up with yesterday." He pushed a drawing over to me.

  I took it and gasped. Hank had perfectly depicted my small, cute historical home, complete down to the little pot of succulents at my front door. But where my landscape was pretty boring, he'd extended out the front beds in sweeping curves and filled them to the brim with smaller flowering trees, herbs and ground covers. Two lemon trees stood on each side of the house. Underneath and behind one of the trees grew taller varieties of basils, mixed with Tarragon and parsley. Lower to the ground, creeping thyme with purple and white flowers scrambled through all of the plants and crept over the rocks stacked to mark the edge of the beds. On the other side of the house, underneath the lemon tree, grew several Mediterranean herbs. I spotted a few different varieties of lavender and rosemary in toward the back. Thyme and oregano grew close together and scrambled over each other.

  "They're planted by watering needs," I marveled.

  Hank grinned, pleased I'd caught it. He pointed to the left. "We can set up your drip hoses differently in each area to ensure both spots get their water needs met." He moved his finger toward the front of the yard. Four Japanese maples stood, the leaves illustrated with a brick red colored pen. "These are purely aesthetic, but they're gorgeous and will bring a smidge of color to the area. Most of the herbs in your main landscaping bed don't have a lot of flowers, or noticeable ones, at least."

  I pointed at the beds dug around the maples. "What are these?" Numerous different varieties of flowers bloomed there. It was a riot of color.

  "It's a butterfly garden. Well, your herb garden kind of is, too, but this area is a lot brighter. In the herb garden, you have host plants."

  "Host?" I inquired.

  He nodded. "Yes, a host plant is where a butterfly will build its cocoons. The hosts offer both shelter for the butterflies to lay their eggs and provide food for the growing caterpillars. A nectar plant -" he pointed to the flowers, "is where the adult butterflies will feed."

  "So I'm going to get to see cocoons!" I felt breathless.

  Hank snorted. "And caterpillars too. I plan on putting containers of additional herbs around too. Some of them won't grow as well in the ground, but they can still act as host plants. Plus, we will need to watch your lemon trees. Those are hosts to swallowtail butterflies." He grinned at me. "So if you see something that looks like bird poop on your tree, don't freak out. It's a Swallowtail caterpillar."

  "This is amazing, Hank." Even though none of it had been planted yet, I could feel my excitement.

  A blush of color appeared on his cheeks. "Thanks, but we aren't finished yet. You gave me free reign and I'm afraid to say I took it." He pulled out another piece of paper and showed me the side of the house. Colorful clematis grew up the sides and climbed a pretty wooden trellis that looked attached to my house. But the back. The back of my house gave me pause.

  "Holy crap," I breathed. It was incredible. "Hank...this is -"

  "Too much, right?" He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I knew it."

  "Incredible," I breathed. "Can you really do this?"

  His face lit up. "I can. Well." He paused. "It depends on your budget. But it can be done. It just won't be cheap. But the thing is, you won't have to keep redoing your landscaping beds. Almost everything will keep coming back year after year. As long as it's taken care of." He gave me a bit of a scowl then as if remembering my last efforts to change my landscaping every year.

  "I love it."

  Hank rubbed the back of his neck and a sheepish look stole over his face. "I took the liberty of walking the rest of your property. If you cleared some things out, you could do some pretty amazing stuff back there."

  My brow wrinkled together. "You mean like landscape the whole thing?" That seemed like a lot.

  "Not exactly. You don't have to pristinely landscape everything to make it functional. You can work with what you have and clear out some of the more invasive plants. Right now you have wild mint growing like crazy back there. It's choking out a lot of the other wild herbs. So we can clear the brush out, remove the mint and open up the land a little bit. We can pick and choose what you want to grow. You have a lot of options. Blueberries, blackberries, you could even plant a grove of fruit trees, though depending on which kind you want, you may need additional trees to act as pollinators."

  Hank was more animated than I had ever seen him. His warm brown eyes lit up and he spoke with the kind of passion people reserved only for their great loves.

  "Wow. That's -" I blew out a breath. "Way more than I expected."

  When his face fell, I held my hands out. "But I love it. Do you think you can sketch out the potential costs? I mean everything. The labor, the plants, the cost of clearing some of the land, the trellises necessary. All of that?"

  He nodded. "The labor costs won't be that much and I can give you a discount on plants."

  "Hank. Charge me what you're worth. A discount on the plants would be nice since it appears I'll be buying a whole bunch of them." I grinned to soften that remark. "But, Pepper wanted me to ask a few things. She wants some protective herbs grown around the property and maybe a few sacred trees. Do you think we could work that in?"

  I saw the start of a frown on his face, but he quickly subdued it. “I can ask her.” It didn’t look like he wanted to, but I knew he’d keep his word.

  “How soon can you start?”

  “I’ll have to check my calendar, but I think as soon as next week. If you want me to.” Hank scooped up the drawings and put the back in his pack. “I ought to warn you we will be spending a lot of time together, but there will also be other people here. I can’t do all of this myself. It’s a lot of time consuming labor and I’ll have to bring in some of my guys.”

  I chugged down the rest of my water. “Okay. I figured so. Next week should be okay, but I do have appointments that I need to have quiet for. If you and I can work those out, then it shouldn’t be an issue.”

  Hank agreed and told me he’d have a quote to me the next day. He grabbed his sack and headed toward the door. “I think you should consider putting up some cameras around your property.”

  I was about to roll my eyes, when he grabbed me by the upper arms. “Helen. I’m serious. You have something there. Something dangerous. The least you can do is protect yourself.” A slow grin spread over his face. “Besides, I need to protect my investment because the next few months are going to get very expensive for you.”

  “Fine,” I bit out but I couldn’t help the smile that peeked through. “Pick out some reasonably priced cameras. But since this was your idea, you’ll have to install them.”

  Hank gave me a little salute and left.

  I was unashamed to admit I watched his denim clad rear end all the way to his car.

  7

  I went to bed that night with Margo curled up at my feet. I’d given up any pretense of rules about sleeping on her bed on the floor. She hadn’t pottied in my house even once and seemed to be freakishly intuitive and smart. So I’d had a one-sided conversation with her and told her she could sleep in my bed and get on the couch as long as she never pottied in my house. I told her to
bark once for yes and twice for no.

  A single bark punctuated the end of our deal, so now she was keeping my feet warm and toasty.

  I was too wired up to read. The door at the back of my property was worrying me. It was pretty disturbing I had something like that back there especially since Hank had properly freaked me out about where it might lead to. The Deadication Dating Agency had always had an air of secrecy about it. No one knew how it worked. No one could figure out their algorithms. Not a soul had any idea how they were able to maintain a hundred percent track record, nor how they had a zero divorce rate.

  Trust me when I said that people tried. There was always someone who thought they could crack their code, but numerous failed dating agencies had tried and been not only unsuccessful, but usually ended up in the hospital for their efforts. Whatever magic Portia Kadish was using to keep her secrets safe worked. And whatever she did to inspire the loyalty of her employees also worked.

  It was inspiring yet also kind of frightening. The employees who were released were rumored to have signed an iron-clad magical non-disclosure agreement. They spoke about the agency upon pain of death.

  And yet I had this potentially massive secret staring me in the face and not a single person had come to inquire about it.

  Unless....they had in the form of Margo the dog. Was she a spy? I glanced down at the retriever puppy curled up by my toes snoring away. Was it possible to be too cute to be a spy? Or was that the whole shtick? Look at me, I’m so cute and adorable, now tell me all your secrets.

  I rolled my eyes and snorted softly at myself. Margo was strangely smart, but she’d shown zero interest in the door. In fact, she’d hung back by the yard when we’d walked back there.