The Nerdy Necromancer (The Deadicated Matchmaker Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  Lucien’s soothing baritone was distracting me from my foot. “So...I love my property. How are they claiming anything about it?”

  “The former owner of the property has been found. And I suspect paid off handsomely. He’s claiming he was under duress to sell his property by another agent he refuses to name. In turn, he was forced to sell to you. He wants the property returned to him and has hired our firm as his realtor.”

  “This sounds shaky at best.”

  “That isn’t all. He’s claiming you were working in tandem with said agent and pressured him to sell at a lower price point.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “I quite concur.” Lucien turned into the emergency room parking lot, smoothly pulled right in front of the doors, and put his vehicle into park.

  Just as I was trying to get out, the passenger door opened and Lucien reached in with very little effort and plucked me out of the car, careful not to jostle my injured foot. When I protested, he shushed me, and carried me gently through the doors.

  Lucien was all right. Even if he’d been the one to deliver the news that could ruin my life.

  The Midnight Cove General Hospital dispensed the good stuff like candy. I had thirty stitches, a cast, crutches, and a refillable supply of a narcotic so good I was currently watching butterflies dance above my best friend’s head.

  “Helen?” Pepper asked again.

  “Mmmm?”

  Lucien’s deep chuckle made me smile. “You’re so super cute, Lucien Nightingale,” I said.

  Pepper let out a strangled laugh. “Perhaps you should leave, super cute Lucien,” she said in a low voice. “Before it gets really weird.”

  “I quite like this version of Helen. She’s been grumpy ever since I met her and now she’s not only complimentary, she’s charming. I may stick around and see if I can convince her to marry me before the evening is over.”

  “I do!” I crowed.

  Pepper facepalmed herself.

  “Great!” Lucien said, grinning widely at my friend. “Pepper, I trust you know a minister and have an appropriate dress for the occasion.” He waved his fingers up and down at her somewhat strange attire.

  Pepper’s mouth thinned. “You aren’t marrying anyone today, friend. What you are doing is staying the night in the hospital. You lost too much blood.”

  My focus was on Lucien. “How did you get such good control?” It came out way more slurred than that but he understood me.

  “Control?”

  “I bled everywhere and ruined your leather.”

  “The good thing about leather is it’s cleanable. It would have been worse had it been upholstery.”

  I waggled my fingers at him. “Subject changer.”

  Pepper was looking at him with marked interest. “You drove her here?”

  Lucien nodded. “You look surprised. Her little wanna be boyfriend showed up but he was unwelcome.”

  I frowned. “It’s complicated.”

  “Darling, he led a woman on and made out with you in a car right after his date. What’s complicated about that?”

  “How do you even know about that?” I blinked and my eyelashes felt like enormous caterpillars on my face.

  “My family has a vested interest in the events of this town. Plus we have a police radio.”

  Pepper’s eyes widened. “Isn’t that illegal?”

  “Not even a little bit. What is appalling though is the level of detail the operators give over the radio. No one has privacy here if the right ears are listening. Of course, Hank didn’t help when he made his little soliloquy about why he punched out his brother.”

  Pepper was staring at me like she’d never seen me before. “You and I have a lot to talk about when the drugs wear off.”

  I held my hand up and watched as rainbows came from my fingertips. “I hope they never wear off.”

  I woke up to a dark room. The drugs had, for the most part, worn off. I reached over and felt for the trigger squeezer thing to get some of that sweet, sweet relief, but saw something else instead.

  A man was sitting on one of the chairs directly across from me.

  “Lucien?”

  The man sighed.

  “Hank.” I shifted a little bit but hissed as my foot screamed in pain. He stood immediately and pulled up the morphine drip button for me.

  “Thanks.” I squeezed it once, twice, three times the charm and sighed as I felt the cool drug pour into my veins. “You have about one minute before I get loopy. Speak.”

  “I am so sorry. I spoke with Charity this morning. What I did was inappropriate. In my defense, it was mostly ignorance, but that doesn’t excuse it.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. I couldn’t make out his expression in the dim light of my room, but he sounded tortured. “I have never had someone who gave me more than half a glance but, if they did, I didn’t even realize it. Not until you.”

  The morphine was starting to kick in. “You punched someone for me.”

  “I did,” he said. “I’d do it all over again.”

  “Why did you push me away so much?”

  “The last thing I wanted to do was push you away. But you never showed even a hint of interest in me until that stupid letter arrived.”

  “I think that’s what they do. Stick us all in a cup, shake us up, and see who doesn’t drown.”

  “Her methods are certainly unorthodox,” he admitted. “So...Lucien stayed?”

  I nodded. “I fell asleep but he and Pepper were here for quite a while.”

  “He doesn’t seem like a bad sort. For a vampire.”

  “He isn’t.” I really didn’t want to delve into the vampire’s good qualities while on a morphine drip. “Lucien came by to give me some news. That’s what caused the accident.”

  “First tell me you’re okay. The fact that you’re still here is concerning.” Hank pulled a chair over to my bed and sat beside me.

  “Thirty stitches and a fracture. I’ll be on crutches for quite a while.”

  “Damn. What happened?”

  I filled him in on what Lucien had told me and my stupid accident with the mug.

  “That’s ridiculous. Do they have any legal standing?” He scrubbed his hand across his chin.

  We both knew the court systems in Midnight Cove were different. Whether or not they could actually get the case listened to in court was up in the air.

  Hank stood. “I’m going to talk to Portia.”

  I snorted. “Portia Kadish? Hank, that’s insane. She hasn’t opened the door to anyone in years.”

  “Portia was just recently seen by a friend of mine. She showed up at his girlfriend’s house.”

  I stared at him convinced the morphine was affecting my judgment. “What?”

  “Yes, apparently she has a daughter she gave up. She’s trying to make amends. I’m going to go see them right now.”

  “Hank, wait!”

  He was already half out of the room. “No. They want that door. This is Portia and that stupid agency’s fault.”

  He left me sitting there slowly slipping into morphine dreams.

  The next morning, the doctor visited. He was a short, portly man with a friendly demeanor and a nose that could have had its own zip code. He made sure the cast was still intact and ready to go and told me the stitches in my foot should dissolve on their own within a few weeks. I was under no circumstances to get my foot wet, nor should I overexert myself. Pepper and Lucien walked into my room right after he left.

  “Ready to go, gimpy?” Pepper asked as she rolled in a wheelchair.

  “I’m not getting in that thing.” They’d cut my pain meds down and I was a smidge grumpy.

  “Doctor’s orders,” Lucien said and bent down to help me up. He wrapped an arm around my waist and lifted me. I wobbled a bit, but he steadied me. Piper wheeled the chair over so I didn’t have to move too much and I sat down gingerly. She lifted the bottom contraption so I could elevate my leg. Lucien grabbed my crutches and bag and she wheel
ed me out of the hospital.

  Getting into Lucien’s car was another story and the frustration resulted in Lucien once again lifting me like I was a helpless princess and depositing me into his car. He buckled my seatbelt for me, but it was still uncomfortable because I couldn’t bend my leg very well.

  “We’re less than ten minutes away. I’ll try not to hit any bumps,” he said as he shut the door.

  I shoved my prescription at Pepper once she was in the car. “Can you get this for me? Please, please, pretty pretty please?”

  She took the slip from my hands. “Of course.” She glanced at it and whistled. “That’s some pretty good stuff they gave you.”

  “Oh crap,” I whispered half to myself. “When am I going to be able to work again?”

  Pepper dug through my release paperwork until she finally found the discharge instructions. She winced.

  “When?” I demanded.

  “Two weeks.”

  I let out a long string of curse words and flung my head back against the supple leather seats. I’d already been out of work for over three days and had to move all my appointments up.

  “You have almost a full three weeks of pain meds there. That’s pretty extreme. You must have really jacked your foot up.”

  I saw Lucien wince in the rearview mirror.

  “Yeah. Accidents happen sometimes. I’m just mad I spilled my coffee.” I looked at my friends hopefully even though they weren’t looking at me. “Speaking of coffee?”

  Pepper snorted. “Can you drive through Midnight’s Best?”

  Lucien nodded and turned at the next light. “Only if she’s buying.”

  “Hey! Injured woman back here.”

  “I’ll buy,” Pepper said. “As long as Helen tells me what made her do that. Especially since I know you were there, Lucien.”

  He cleared his throat. “Is coffee worth it?” he asked me.

  Coffee was almost always worth it, but I didn’t want Pepper to worry. On the other hand, she was going to beat me down until I told her and right now I still felt achy and exhausted. My pain meds had mostly worn off and I wasn’t looking forward to getting out of the car.

  “Fine,” I said. “But I want an extra large.”

  “A venti, Helen. Get it right.”

  “Whatever. I want a big ol’ enormous cup of frothy joe. A cappuccino actually. That sounds better.”

  Lucien pulled into the drive-through.

  “But make sure they put extra sugar in it!”

  Pepper let out an annoyed huff of breath. “I’m your best friend. I know what you like.”

  Pepper leaned over and placed the order. From my vantage point in the back of the car, I noticed Lucien’s eyes glazing over a little bit when a lock of her wild black hair escaped its braid.

  My gaze narrowed. Interesting.

  Less than ten minutes later we were back on the road with enormous coffees and Lucien was explaining what rescission was. When he finished, I added, “and Hank stopped by.”

  Lucien swerved a little bit. “He did? Are you okay?”

  I chuckled. “I’m fine. He’s not a serial killer. He’s just kind of…”

  “Dumb?” Pepper supplied.

  “Some days.”

  “That end in Y,” Lucien added.

  “Anyway, he said something pretty interesting about Portia. He said she’d been coming around to his friend’s girlfriend’s house. He plans to confront her.”

  Lucien let out a low whistle. “That does not seem wise.”

  “What’s so scary about a woman who runs a dating agency?” I asked. I’d never gotten the gist of why she was so feared.

  “It’s not the agency, really. It’s her power. She created this place. She runs the entire town. She’s the one who decides which business open. Which businesses die.”

  “Which relationships suit her, too?” I asked.

  Lucien gave a shake of his head. “From my understanding, Portia is heavily invested in ensuring her matches are beyond the pale. I don’t think you can see this, but she’s pulling the strings. Always. Even if you don’t realize it.”

  “I haven’t seen her since she dumped a puppy on my porch.” I frowned. “Even then I didn’t see her. I just had a letter from her.”

  Pepper’s gaze went fuzzy for a minute. “But right after that, Hank delivered your plants. Then you hired him for landscaping. Then he discovered that door.”

  “That doesn’t seem like a coincidence,” Lucien said, even as I wondered about the wisdom of telling him what was on my property. Too late for all of that. It was done and I hoped I could trust him. If he was a good enough person to let me bleed all over his fancy upholstery, he could keep a secret.

  “I don’t know. But we’re in a better place right now.”

  “Oooh,” Pepper crowed. “Do tell!”

  Lucien pulled inside of the long drive leading up to my home.

  “Nope. Stick me on the couch and get my meds, please.”

  Pepper grumbled but didn’t argue. When the vehicle stopped, Lucien jumped out and carried me to the porch. Pepper had an extra key she used to open the door.

  Oh my god. I had forgotten about Margo!

  “Oh no,” I whispered.

  The door pulled open before Pepper got her key in. Hank stood there wearing a pair of jogging pants and a snug white t-shirt. Margo sat right beside him looking no worse for the wear.

  “Hank?”

  “I figured someone needed to feed Margo,” he said. “Lucien didn’t lock your door when he left.”

  I couldn’t blame Lucien for that. It was a whole lot of blood and drama to deal with in a short period of time. I was feeling a little disconcerted seeing him all rumpled and sexy in my house, but he had done me a huge favor.

  Lucien was still holding me in his arms like a white knight. The look Hank was giving him was a smidge frosty so, of course, Lucien tightened his arms around me and said, “She’s had a rough night. I figure I’ll stay with her this evening.”

  Pepper let out a snort laugh from behind us.

  “That won’t be necessary,” Hank said. “I think we have it under control.”

  I closed my eyes and counted to ten. “I don’t give a crap who stays but someone needs to get their butt in a car and go pick up my pain meds. Stat.”

  “Your wish is my command,” Pepper said with a little bow. Lucien stepped in and deposited me gently onto the couch.

  I could practically hear Hank’s teeth grinding. Lucien made it worse by gathering a stack of pillows and elevating my leg. He grabbed a blanket and fussed with tucking me in. My gaze caught Pepper’s and her eyes were sparkling with amusement.

  I finally waved him away. “Lucien! I’m not four. Please go get my meds.”

  He gave me a wink and with one last fuss over the blanket, he left with Pepper.

  “Thank God,” I said with a groan.

  Hank sat down at the end of the couch. “I had some coffee brewing but I see you already stopped.” He reached over and handed me my cup.

  I took it with a grateful smile. “Sorry. I’ve been deprived. I fell asleep last night before my cardboard dinner came so I’m starving, too.”

  “I can help with that,” Hank offered. He stood and Margo padded after him into the kitchen.

  “Please don’t go to any effort!” I called only to be ignored.

  I snuggled into the soft couch cushions and was lulled to sleep by the sounds of Hank clanking around the kitchen. I could really get used to having a man around.

  Less than an hour later, something delicious was wafting through the air and Lucien and Pepper were back with my drugs. I sat up, groggy and in pain, and reached for the glass of water someone had put on the coffee table in front of me.

  “Helen!” Hank called. “Don’t take your pills before you eat something.”

  “Yes, mom,” I croaked. “Where is it?”

  Hank walked in wearing an apron and carrying something that smelled like angels were singing.
>
  “You cook, too?” I rubbed my messy hair. “Where have you been all my life?”

  “Being an idiot and playing in the dirt?”

  I chuckled and reached out for the bowl he was carrying. “What is it?”

  “Chicken stew. It was the heartiest thing I could think of with using what you had in the fridge. Also, you need to go shopping. I had to go to my vehicle and clip herbs from the newest shipment I had.”

  I lifted my bad foot a little, wincing. “Shopping later. Food first.”

  Hank handed me a spoon and I dug in. Pepper and Lucien came out of the kitchen holding bowls of their own.

  When we finished eating, Hank cleared his throat. “I have some news.”

  Lucien leaned forward. “You have three weeks to live and you have suddenly decided to move to Europe to find yourself?”

  Pepper cracked up but sobered when Hank glared at her.

  “While I find your antics minimally amusing, I must decline to participate.”

  Oooh. Annoyed Hank was verbal.

  “I was able to catch Portia, much to my friend’s annoyance and her surprise. She was quite shocked to learn what was going on with everything. But...she did admit she pressured the former owner of the land to sell to you. So, that part of the accusation is correct. However, there’s a caveat.” Hank scratched behind his ear as if he were uncomfortable with the next part. “The owner of this land somewhat acts like a guardian of that door. Portia said she has been remiss in visiting you to speak with you about it.”

  I wish I hadn’t taken my pain meds because I would be on my way to visit Miss Portia right now. “That might have been nice to know before I bought the property.”

  Lucien’s brow wrinkled. “So the guy who owned it before.” He paused and his mouth turned down.

  I interrupted. “He knew about the door, kept it a secret for all those years, then decided to betray her? What happened?”