A Paper Trail

by Magan Vernon

  I cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

  "Yes, really. Just pull forward and you'll see."

  I fumbled around the gear shift. "Where are your brights? I don't want to get lost or run into a man with a chainsaw."

  Blaine put his hand on mine. "Baby, you're fine. Just trust me, okay?"

  I met his eyes. Starring into his deep baby blues, there was no way I could ever say no to anything he asked.

  "I do. Always."

  He smiled and I looked back out the window, and slowly crept forward over a small hill. Once we were at the bottom of it, I gasped at the sight before me.

  There were rows and rows of rusting white stands that probably once houses radios to listen to the movie, but now were empty. They all stood there like soldiers facing a large, white screen that was ripped down the middle. But that wasn't the impressive part.

  Over the entire area was a large stretch of clear blue sky and millions of twinkly stars. It looked like something out of a planetarium that was manmade. There was nothing to obstruct the view, just the sky and the land before.

  "Wow. This is really pretty."

  Blaine laughed. "I told you."

  I pulled and parked near one of the stands, wondering what I was supposed to do next. But Blaine decided that for me and reached over, turning off the car and putting the keys in his pocket.

  "What are your plans now?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

  He smiled and reached into the backseat, grabbing an LSU blanket before opening his door and hopping out.

  "I told you no outdoor sex!" I yelled, getting out of the car and following him to the truck bed.

  He shook his head. "I didn't say anything about that."

  With that, he lowered the tailgate and hopped in the back of the truck, spreading out the blanket. He then reached his hand out to me. "Come here."

  I raised a quizzical eyebrow, but gave him my hand anyway and let him help me into the truck. I took the seat next to him, waiting on his next move.

  "Now lay down with me," he said.

  I was going to protest, but he put his arm around me and pulled me at his side as he lay on his back.

  If I thought the view was a sight coming into the theatre, it was even more beautiful lying down and looking at the sky above. Everything swirled in a mix of dark blue and purples with sprinklings of bright stars. The moon was a tiny crescent, like it was just an accessory to all of the constellations.

  "How could someone pay attention a movie when they have this beautiful of a view over their heads?" I asked.

  "I don't know. I haven't been able to pay attention to much else since the most beautiful girl walked into my life. Even the stars."

  I smiled and looked over at Blaine. "That was really cheesy."

  He leaned over and brushed a fallen curl behind my ear. "But true."

  I stared at the blue of his eyes. Even in the dark, they were brighter than the night sky. I could get lost in his stare all day every day and probably wouldn't pay attention to a movie on the screen if it were right in front of us. Not when I had him there.

  As if Blaine knew exactly what I was thinking, he leaned forward and lightly kissed my lips. It wasn't frantic and lustful like in the tattoo shop, but sweet and longing.

  He cupped my face and deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing my bottom lip before it met mine with a little gasp escaping my mouth. I trailed my hands to his back, feeling the muscles through his thin t-shirt. With that, he pulled me closer, my body flush with his as goose bumps pricked every bit of skin that wasn't touching him.

  Blaine broke the kiss slightly, his fingers trailing down my arm. "Are you cold, baby? You're shaking."

  I shook my head, biting down on my lip. "No, but I wouldn't object to you warming me up."

  He grinned, his fingers moving down my arm until they stopped at my waist, running against the fabric of my dress as if he was asking for my permission before he continued.

  I pressed against him, feeling his bulge press against my core. I may have said I wouldn't do anything outdoors, but there was something about being under the stars that had be rethinking everything.

  While Blaine's hands moved farther down, his lips also traced my neck. "Remember the first time you said you loved me and it was under the stars? We were lying on that blanket at my parents' and you tried to pretend like you didn't."

  Way to be a buzzkill. My body stiffened."Yeah. You didn't even respond."

  He moved his head up and his eyes met mine. "I think part of me was scared shitless and the other part of me was shocked. I wasn't expecting it and at the same time I was thinking, damn, why didn't I say it first? Or at all? This girl is pouring herself out to me and I just keep running like a damn fool."

  "We don't need to talk about this now," I pressed, growing more and more uncomfortable with each word.

  He shook his head. "No, we do. I may be a little buzzed and really fucking horny, but I also need you to know that I love you. I should have said it the first time months ago, and I will keep saying it every damn day. I love you more than every single star in the Louisiana sky above us."

  "I love you too, Blaine. I always will," I whispered, before sealing my words with a kiss and rolling over so that I was on top of him.

  He laughed. "I thought you were the one who didn't want to do anything but look at the stars?"

  I sat up and slowly peeled off my dress with a small smile on my lips. "I didn't know how good the view was from up here."

  He grinned and traced the curve of my breast. "It sure is. Especially when you don't wear a bra or panties."

  "No need to. And it makes for easier access," I whispered and leaned forward, brushing my lips against his and my chest to his. His hands gripped my waist and he pulled me closer and I rocked my hips against his, causing a groan to escape his mouth.

  His fingers trailed down the length of my butt, until he clasped it with his hands, his nails digging into me before his thumb traced my center.

  "You're still so wet, baby," he murmured as I trembled.

  I leaned back and pulled his shirt over his head. He had borrowed one from Don and I almost wished he didn't, it hid his amazing bronzed body that looked like it was carved by a sculptor. I trailed my fingers down the contours of his abs, then clawed to get his belt buckle undone as fast as I could. I wanted him as close as possible and as soon as possible. He shucked his pants off, leaving only the thin fabric of his underwear between us.

  I moaned, grinding my core into his bulge and feeling how ready he was for me. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his wallet, quickly grabbing a condom and releasing his massive erection from his boxers.

  "Here, let me do that. It is your birthday after all." I smiled and grabbed the condom, ripping it open with my teeth before sliding it on him.

  His eyes barely shut as he leaned back and I pulled the rest of his boxers off. Slowly, I mounted him, letting every inch of him fill me up to the hilt. I let out a deep breath and rocked forward as he grasped onto my hips, moving our bodies to the same rhythm.

  He circled his hips, causing every bit of him to hit the right spots and I cried out over and over, not sure how much exquisite pleasure I could take. Every movement kept making me come harder and harder.

  "Damn, baby, you're not going to make me last long," he murmured, gritting his teeth and gripping my ass.

  "I want you to come for me," I said, pushing forward and moving his hand to my core where his thumb found my sweet spot, circling it and making me cry out. I threw my head back, feeling my entire body shudder, followed by his.

  I collapsed onto his chest and lay there, breathing in sync to the rhythm of his heart. For a while we just stayed there, still connected and staring up at the stars.

  "Happy birthday, Blaine," I whispered.

  He laughed, breathing through his nose and onto my hair. "Yeah. It definitely is."

  Chapter 4

  I had no idea what time I came back home. I knew the sun hadn't yet ri
sen and after tangling naked with Blaine for far too long in the back of his truck, I was more than exhausted.

  That and I was still sick. Like the never ending wave of nausea that liked to wake me out of a dead sleep.

  A knock came at the door. I thought I was home alone. Granted, I didn't exactly know what time it was, but I figured Aunt Dee would be at work and Britt at school.

  "Libby?" Aunt Dee's sweet Southern accent wafted through the door.

  "Yeah?" I asked, trying to clear my throat.

  "I made an appointment at the Elsbury clinic this morning for you at ten."

  I opened the door, staring at my aunt. "You what?"

  She wrung her hands together and looked everywhere but at me. "Well, I thought it might have been, you know, from too much partying, but you've been sick every day this week now. You look terrible, everyone at work agrees."

  "Gee, you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself."

  Aunt Dee sighed. "You know what I mean. Please just go for me? Maybe they'll just say it's some virus and you need to stay in bed and have soup all day, but it would make me feel better if you went."

  I smiled. No matter what, I couldn't resist Aunt Dee's caring personality. "Okay. For you, I'll go."

  ***

  The Elsbury clinic was just off the main downtown area. There were many times that Aunt Dee walked there from her shop when she needed to pick up a prescription or one of the doctors wanted her to bring in something they saw in the shop window.

  The building was a newer one with a brick facade and the inside looked sterile with blue chairs, blue carpet, and white walls like every other doctor's office I'd ever been in.

  I approached the counter, where a younger looking woman in blue scrubs sat. She opened a glass window and beamed at me as if seeing me was the highlight of her day.

  "Hi, how can I help you?" she asked, her accent so thick you couldn't slice it with a butter knife.

  "Hi. I'm Elizabeth, Libby, Gentry. I have an appointment at ten."

  She turned and started typing into the large computer next to her. "Okay, I see that we have you in with Dr. Gene. Have a seat and we'll call you when she's ready for you."

  "Okay, thank you." I nodded and took a seat in one of the uncomfortable blue waiting room chairs. There were a few magazines on a table in front of me so I thumbed through them. Most were maternity ones and the others were at least a few months old. I had no interest in being a mother or reading about a celebrity scandal from November, so I settled for scrolling Facebook on my phone.

  By the time my name was called, I'd gone through half my friend's list and was more than ready to go back. I followed a short, stout woman in blue scrubs down a short hallway where she got my height and weight. I thought we were going to go into a room, but instead she held out a small plastic cup. "The doctor wants a urine sample from you."

  I stared at the cup and raised an eyebrow. "Um, why?"

  "Are you sexually active?" she asked bluntly.

  "Um...that's not something you should ask when you first meet someone."

  She smirked. "But it is something you ask at a doctor's office and with your symptoms the doctor just wants to check."

  I sighed and took the cup from her. "Okay. There's no way I could be pregnant, but I'll do it."

  Her smirk turned into a slight smile. "The bathroom is right around the corner to the left. There will be a little door near the sink, please open it and place the specimen there. When you're done, you can wait for the doctor in room two."

  I nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

  I couldn't remember the last time I had to pee in a cup and suddenly got pee shy. But after a few minutes, and playing some water sounds on my phone, I finally squeezed out a little bit and put it on the window marked "for urine samples". After that, I walked into room two.

  After sitting in there for another few minutes, I thought the doctor would be in, but instead the same nurse came back in. "Sorry, were you expecting someone else?" she asked.

  "Uh, yeah. Sorry, it's been a while so I thought the doctor was coming in."

  She smiled again. "Sorry, I just have to ask you some more questions and get your vitals and some blood before you see her. Don't worry, it won't be long."

  After some more questions, that I already answered when I filled out my health history form, blood pressure taken, and a few vials of blood, the nurse left again, saying the doctor would be in soon.

  By soon I thought a few minutes, but as the minutes ticked down, I found my eyelids growing heavily and I was fast asleep when the door opened again and my eyes snapped open.

  An older Cajun woman with a tight black bun and a white lab coat came into the room. "Sorry if I woke you, Ms. Gentry."

  "Oh, no. I wasn't asleep," I said, but my own body failed me and I yawned.

  The doctor nodded and took the wheeled stool across from me. "Now, let's just go over your symptoms here again, shall we?" She opened the manila folder on her lap.

  It took everything I had to hold back an eye roll.

  "You have had nausea, trouble sleeping at night and always tired during the day, swelling, and anything else I'm missing?" she asked.

  "That sounds about right. Sounds like the flu to me and a round of antibiotics," I replied, hoping to just get out of there. I hated going over the same details over and over.

  "And, Ms. Gentry, can you tell me the start of your last period?"

  I chewed on my bottom lip. "Well, you see, I've kind of had a nutritional problem that I've been seeing a doctor for and my period comes and goes, so I couldn't really say."

  That was a nice way to put it. I had bulimia and there would be months I'd go without my period, but I didn't want to go into that.

  "And you're sexually active, I presume?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

  "Um, yes." I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

  She scanned through the manila folder. "So, it shouldn't come as a shock that when we ran your urine sample, it tested positive for pregnancy?"

  My mouth went completely dry and my eyes felt like they were about to bug out of my head. "What did you just say?"

  She closed her folder and folded her hands on top of it. "Ms. Gentry, your symptoms were right on with someone who would be in their first trimester, it's why we also did the blood test. We won't know how far along you are until you get the blood test back, but I'm more than certain you're still in your first trimester."

  I shook my head. "No. That can't be. Blaine and I are always careful."

  Except for the time we weren't.

  “I don’t have a condom with me.”

  There were other things we could do to get off, but now that he had me on the brink, I just wanted him inside me. “Can you just pull out?”

  “Are you serious?” I couldn’t see his face, but I knew him well enough to know that his baby blues were probably wide with his eyebrows raised. The look he always gave me when he was shocked by what was coming out of my mouth.

  I reached for his belt loops, pulling him closer. “Dead serious.”

  Shit. No. This couldn't be happening. Everything was going well. Perfect. I was going to finish school. Blaine wasn't afraid of commitment.

  Holy shit, but it was.

  The doctor went on talking and gave me some pamphlets as well as a number for a gynecologist in the area. I barely heard what she said because my brain was in a fog.

  Pregnant. I was pregnant. With Blaine's kid.

  I didn't know how I was supposed to tell him. Even worse, how was I going to tell my parents?

  ***

  I barely remember the drive home and by the time I got there, no one was home so I crawled into my bed and buried myself in the covers. It wasn't until then that I left myself cry.

  I didn't know why I was crying. If it was some crazy pregnancy hormones or if I was just stressed and exhausted and it was all about to crash down on me.

  I'd thought about having kids, but I always thought it would be
later down the road when I was married and established in a career. Not when I was still struggling through college and afraid that any moment my boyfriend could have another melt down and leave me.

  Now I was alone, crying in bed, and wondering how the hell I was going to take care of myself and another life growing inside of me.

  Though I wasn't as alone as I thought.

  A knock came at my bedroom door and I expected it to be Aunt Dee, but when the door creaked opened I looked up to see Blaine standing there with a brown paper bag in his hand.

  He smiled as if nothing was wrong. As if our lives weren't about to change forever.

  "Hey, baby. I stopped by the shop and Dee said you were still sick so I thought I'd bring you some chicken noodle soup from Sam's. It's supposed to be able to cure everything."

  Pft. If he only knew.

  "Thanks," I muttered and slowly sat up.

  He placed the bag on my desk then sat down next to me on the bed. "Sorry for keeping you out so late last night. I guess I just got wrapped up in the birthday festivities."

  "You're fine. I'm fine. It's fine," I said, even though I didn't mean any of it. I was way far from fine.

  "So what did the doctor say?" Blaine asked.

  I glared at him. "You don't want to know."

  He laughed. "What, do you have mono and now we're both going to have the kissing disease?"

  I groaned. All of the stress and sadness and confusion was now boiling up inside of me. I sat up and threw the covers, lifting my shirt off to expose my stomach. It was still flat but soon it would be the size of a house. "No. Blaine. I'm pregnant. Pregnant with your child. It's why I've been so sick lately and it's not going to get better for probably another seven months and then I'll have someone else to take care of."

  His eyes widened as he stared down at my stomach. "You're shitting me."

  I shook my head and put my shirt down. "No. I'm not shitting you. I'm pregnant. Knocked up."

  He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. "How? Are you sure?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. The doctor tested me. She said she'll have the blood test back soon to give me a closer approximation but I'm guessing around six weeks since that's when we had sex in the closet and you kind of didn't pull out."