A Paper Trail

by Magan Vernon

  He leaned back and put his hands on my shoulders. "Trust me, okay? Take some time for yourself and for me before it's more than just the two of us around."

  I sighed. "Okay, Blaine. You win. Where are we going?"

  He shook his head and then opened the door to his car that was parked next to mine. "You'll see."

  I smirked. "Okay. Hopefully you aren't wanting to try sex in the back of this thing because I'm not as limber as I was in February."

  He laughed, shaking his head. "Wouldn't dream of it, unless of course you wanted to."

  I got in and closed the door behind me, then leaned in and kissed his cheek as he got in. "You can dream all you want. It's not happening."

  ***

  We drove down the main road until Blaine pulled into a strip mall not far from campus. It had a Chinese restaurant and a coffee shop that Sawyer and I would frequent a lot since the boy had an addiction to Americanos.

  "Um, I'm really not in the mood for coffee and I've already had enough today," I said, staring out the window.

  Blaine shook his head. "Naw, I've got something else in mind."

  He stepped out of the car and went around to my side, opening the door for me. Just as my feet hit the pavement, a truck door opened across from us and out came Nikki.

  "Hey, y'all made it!" She came bounding over to us with her way-too-perky boobs practically flying out of her tank top.

  I was told that my boobs were supposed to get bigger with pregnancy and I was still barely filling a B cup. It wasn't fair.

  "Yep we did," Blaine said, putting his arm around me.

  "Um, this isn't a plan to do something weird is it?" I asked, looking between the two of them.

  Nikki laughed. "Depends on your definition of weird."

  I shrugged. "I don't know. Hunting. Mudding. Orgy."

  Blaine and Nikki both laughed hard and when they finally caught their breath, Blaine shook his head and squeezed my shoulder. "No, baby. No outdoor activities or sex. Just something relaxing. Nikki told me this was a good place to go for it."

  "What is?" I cocked an eyebrow as Blaine led me around the truck and down the sidewalk. He stopped in front of a building that was literally just around the corner from the coffee shop.

  I looked up at the small, purple sign that read 'House of Nails'. "We are getting our nails done?"

  "Pedicures, actually," Nikki said, opening the glass door. Nikki was the last person I expected to get pedicures. Her feet were always covered in cowboy boots and usually mud. This had to be one of the weirdest things I'd heard.

  The toxic smell of acrylics hit my nose as soon as we walked in, followed by the bright lights. I was used to going to salons back home with dim mood lighting and black, plush leather chairs. I wasn't expecting a very busty red headed woman to be behind a pink counter and to stop smacking her gum only long enough to greet us.

  "Hey, y'all, welcome to House of Nails."

  "Hey, Patsy," Nikki said, pushing her way between Blaine and me, which I was pretty sure she did on purpose. I had a feeling she still wanted him, even though he was obviously taken.

  "Nikki Sinclair! I haven't seen you in ages! How you been?" Patsy stood up and wrapped Nikki in a big hug.

  "I'm good. Just got done with finals, so figured I needed to come in for my monthly pedicure." Nikki held up her boot-clad foot.

  "Cathy is just finishing up with someone, but I'll put you down to get her next."

  Nikki nodded in my direction. "And my friends Blaine and Libby are going to be wanting one too."

  Patsy's eyes roamed over Blaine a little too long for my liking. "This man wants a pedicure?"

  Blaine shrugged. "Why not? Nikki swears by them, and my girl, here, is pregnant and I assume it won't be long before she can't see her toes and someone else will have to do them."

  I swatted his arm. "Shut up! You didn't need to say that last part."

  "Ouch! What? It's true."

  Patsy put her arms out. "Don't worry nothing about that, honey. We'll just make sure to upgrade your pedicure so he'll be paying a little extra for you to get pampered. Every mama deserves one."

  "Thank you," I said.

  She smiled and sat back down behind the counter. "Okay, I'm going to put your names in, now you two ladies can go pick out your polishes, and you, sir, can head back to the chair on the far back wall and I'll have them meet you there."

  "I guess I can do that," Blaine said, raising his eyebrows at me.

  "Go on, go get your feet ready to be pampered," I said.

  He shook his head. "If you tell the guys about this..."

  Nikki laughed and picked up a pink polish from the rack on the wall. "Oh, they already know. Butch wants pictures."

  "I hate you two so much right now."

  Nikki just laughed. "And you'll love me again after this."

  I turned away from her toward a rack of nail polish. I didn't like her using the 'L' word with my future husband. Sure, Blaine told me they were beyond over and he was marrying me, but I still couldn't help the jealousy that creeped in. Especially since it had been months since we'd had sex and I was pretty sure it would be real easy for him to hop back on the Nikki train if he wanted to.

  And I really hoped he didn't.

  "Oh, that's a pretty color," Nikki said, reaching over and lifting the purple nail polish that was in front of me.

  I smiled. "No offense, but I don't see you as much of a purple girl. Of course I didn't see you as the type of girl to get pedicures either."

  Nikki smirked. "Yeah, we all have our surprises."

  I grabbed a pink polish off the wall and followed her toward the back. I was just thankful she took the chair on one side of Blaine and didn't try and sit in the middle. Though she did make sure I was the one sitting against the wall.

  "Okay, now I see why you ladies do this." Blaine leaned back in his chair, pressing the different buttons that made it massage his back. A lady was at his feet, putting salts in the hot water where his feet were soaking.

  "I told you these were relaxing," Nikki said, leaning back on her chair as a woman turned on the water.

  I was the last one to have anyone come over to me. It was a younger girl who barely even looked at me. "Did you pick out your color?" she asked, turning on the water, not bothering to ask me if it was too hot. Which it was stifling, but I usually liked it when it burned a little.

  "Yeah, it's right here." I held up the little pink bottle.

  She nodded and took it from me, setting it on a small, wheeled cart where the rest of her tools were.

  "Did you want to get your done in pink to match, Blaine?" Nikki asked.

  "Naw, I'm good. I mean I don't need to have them painted a color, do I?"

  I smiled. "Only if you want to."

  Blaine laughed. "I had a feeling that if we had a girl I'd be in for a lot of toenail painting and hair doing. Now at least I get mudding and fishing."

  I raised an eyebrow. "What if he takes after his mom and enjoys shopping and pedicures?"

  Nikki cackled. "I don't think that's going to be the kind of boy that Blaine raises."

  I leaned forward and glared at Nikki. "Hello? It's going to be both of us raising him. If my son wants to go shopping or wear a tutu then he can. He can do whatever he wants to."

  "So you want to raise a homo?" Nikki asked.

  "Wow, you really are a redneck hillbilly, you know that?" I snapped.

  Blaine put his arms out. "Whoa, whoa. There is no need for any of this, girls. Can't we just relax and not fight for at least two seconds? I thought you two were cool."

  Nikki leaned back and muttered something.

  "What was that, Nik?" Blaine asked.

  "Nothing, just thinking that the water feels nice," she said.

  I leaned back in my own chair and pulled out one of the outdated People magazines on the table next to me. If this was supposed to be a relaxing trip, then I was going to do my best to avoid Nikki for as long as possible.

  When
we were done with our pedicures, we all walked out to our cars and I mumbled a goodbye to Nikki before slumping into the passenger seat. Blaine got in and started the car. "Well, that wasn't what I expected."

  "What did you expect? That we were all going to hold hands and sing and everything would be A-okay?"

  He shook his head. "Why can't you try and get along with her? I thought everything was good between y'all."

  I blew out a breath. "Blaine, nothing is ever going to be okay with me and one of your exes. We tolerate each other but we're never going to be besties."

  He sighed. "You're probably right. I shouldn't have put you two together. She just suggested the pedicure thing and I felt like I had to invite her. I didn't know it would cause a big hurricane."

  "Well, now you know."

  He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "You know she was trying. It wouldn't hurt you to try a little harder too."

  I laughed and shook my head. "Blaine, I'm so big that I'm popping out of all of my pants, I have a baby that's practicing to be on the Olympic swim team in my stomach, and I've got my mother coming in tomorrow. I'm under a lot of stress and I don't' want another thing to have to worry about."

  He frowned. "You know you're not the only one under a lot of stress, baby, we're in this together. It's not just you."

  "But it is me. I'm the one who is sacrificing my body to bring a baby into the world. I'm the one who has to put my dreams on hold so that we can get married and I can take care of the baby until I go back to school."

  The tires screeched as Blaine pulled the car over to the side of the road and slammed it into park. He stared at me, his eyes blazing. "What the hell, Lib? You think you're all alone in this? Don't you think I'm helping? Don't you realize all of the things I'm sacrificing? I've gone to every doctor's appointment, put a deposit down on a house, hell I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I wasn't helping."

  I crossed my arms over my chest. "So marrying me is just helping me out? You don't really want to?"

  He shook his head. "Now, baby, I didn't mean it that way."

  "But that's what you said, so some of it must have some meaning."

  He groaned. "Baby, look, I know that you're frustrated and hormonal and whatever else, but you've gotta know that I'm here for you. No, I can't carry our son for you, but I can do everything I can to help you out and I have been. If there is something more that I can do, just say the word and I'll do it."

  I didn't know I was crying until the tears fell down my cheeks in big heavy puddles, then I was uncontrollably sobbing. Blaine unbuckled his seatbelt and reached over the seat, pulling me to his chest as I soaked through his shirt with my tears.

  He didn't say anything. He just rubbed my back and let me cry until I cried it all out and finally sniffled, looking up at him. "Thank you, Blaine. Sorry about that."

  He kissed my forehead. "Sometimes we all need a good cry."

  I shook my head. "Maybe I should just cry instead of being a bitch."

  He wiped my cheeks. "No, I don't want to see your tears because of me ever again, even though I know it's going to happen, I'll try everything I can to make sure that it doesn't."

  Another surge of tears fell down my cheeks.

  "Aw, baby, why are you crying now?" He pulled me close to him.

  "Because you say the nicest things to me and I'm just a hormonal bitch."

  He laughed, his chest rumbling against my cheek. "Naw, I wouldn't go that far baby. You're growing another human and sometimes that just messes with your emotion. I'll cut you some slack."

  "Not too much, though, I don't want to be one of those bitter moms," I said.

  He kissed my forehead. "I promise."

  Chapter 16

  My mom's flight got in early the next morning. I wished I didn't have to get up that early to pick her up, but I didn't want to just tell her to take a cab either. I was hoping I'd be able to squeeze a nap in later on in the day.

  When I pulled up to the arrival gates, I had to honk the horn a few times before she finally nodded and ran over to my car.

  "Sorry, I didn't recognize your new car!" she said, putting her arms out for a hug.

  "Yeah, figured that wasn't the best for a family car."

  She wheeled her suitcase into the back seat. "And you've gotten so big! I think your stomach is at least twice the size as it was at Christmas! Your little boy is growing!"

  I winced, but kept my back to her as I got in the car. I hated when people told pregnant women that. I knew it was supposed to be a compliment, but it never felt right to for people to tell me how huge I was.

  "This isn't bad for a moderately priced sedan," Mom said, running her hand along the armrest.

  It was probably supposed to be a compliment and I was starting to wonder if I sounded like her when I talked.

  "I like it. It gets me around." I pulled out of the space and went toward the highway. "So, do you want me to drop you off at your hotel?"

  "Why don't we run by there so I can check in, then we can grab a quick bite before heading out to some of those boutiques on Magazine Street and see if they have something in your style for dresses?"

  I forced the biggest smile I could. I knew she was there to spend time with me and finish wedding preparations. I also knew that she really wanted to go dress shopping, but I still hated the thought of it. "Sure, Mom, that sounds great."

  ***

  I didn't expect wedding dress shopping that afternoon, nor did I expect my mom to have set up an appointment at one of the upscale wedding boutiques on Magazine Street.

  I should have known better.

  The shop looked innocent enough from the outside with its small wooden sign and dress display in the large window in the front.

  Then I walked inside, and weddingness threw up.

  It was not only a wedding dress shop, but one that sold invitations, programs, and just about everything else one would need in paper for a wedding. I was just glad that Aunt Dee and her team of scrapbookers made invitations that were simple yet chic and we were able to mail all of those out at the beginning of May. If not, I was sure my mom would find the most expensive ones she could in some silken paper and insist we get them.

  A woman in a tailored black suit with her blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail approached us. "Hello, my name is Chelsea, how may I help you today?"

  Mom smiled, putting her arm around me. "Hi, Chelsea, I'm Kathryn and this is my daughter, Libby. We have an appointment for today at two."

  The woman's face contorted into something that sort of resembled a smile. "Yes, I remember talking to you on the phone, it's a pleasure meeting you and Libby."

  She shook both our hands and I caught her eyes grazing down toward my stomach. I only had a salad for lunch and was wearing a dark blue peasant top and maxi skirt that I thought were flowy enough to not to draw too much attention to my middle. I guess I was wrong when my mother and the sales lady couldn't take their eyes off of my stomach.

  "Okay, is there any particular style you're looking for? Color?" Chelsea asked, moving her hands with each word.

  "Um, white?" I said, even though I maybe should have looked at something in red since the way she was looking at me, I wasn't feeling so pure.

  She did that thing with her lips again that looked like she was trying her hardest to force a small. "White or off white or maybe cream or pearl?"

  I shrugged. "It doesn't matter too much."

  "She's getting married June 11th in a Catholic church with an outdoor reception on his family's farm, so something that would go along with that theme," Mom said, squeezing my shoulder.

  Blaine's family didn't have a farm. Not even close. It was more like a bunch of land and some swamp. But I didn't correct her.

  Chelsea nodded. "Okay. I think we can find some sample dresses here that could work and then you could take one home today if you like it."

  "That sounds wonderful!" Mom gushed.

  Chelsea led us over to a rack and
strummed through a few dresses. "Now, do you know your size or would you like me to measure you?"

  "Um, last time I wore a dress it was a six, but that was in August," I muttered the last part.

  "I see," Chelsea said and grabbed a long pink strand that looked like ribbon from a table. "Do you mind if I take a few measurements just so we get it correct?"

  "Uh, yeah, go ahead?"

  She put the measuring tape around my chest, arms, and legs and took way too long measuring my middle. "Okay, it looks like we may want to go with a ten. Possibly a twelve. Yeah I think a twelve would be good unless you want more room to expand."

  "A WHAT?" My eyes bugged out of my head.

  "Libby, it's okay. You're carrying a baby. I wish I was still that small when I was pregnant with you," Mom said, rubbing my back.

  "Yeah, and I still have four months to go. Who knows how big I'll be by then."

  Chelsea's lips twinged. "I do have a few tens and twelves in some samples. Why don't I pick them out for you and you head back with your mother to the dressing room. It's where that purple curtain is." She pointed toward a corner wall.

  "Thanks, we'll do that," Mom said, putting her arm around me and guiding me toward the dressing room.

  "This is going to be fun," I muttered.

  Mom sighed. "Can you just humor me a little? I know you really don't want to do this, but you do need a dress. You can't exactly go naked down the aisle...even though that's exactly how this all started, isn't it?"

  "Mom!"

  She laughed. "Oh, you know I'm just playing around, but seriously, for me? I came all this way to help my daughter pick out a wedding dress, so let's do it."

  I sighed as Chelsea came forward and hung a few dresses on the wall next to the curtained off corner that I guess was supposed to be the dressing room. "Okay, Libby, I have a few different styles for you to try on. Just let me know if you need a different size or some shoes, or anything else."

  "Will do," I said and closed the curtain, peering at the dresses in front of me.

  One looked like a giant white bed sheet that had a big bow tied over the boobs. Another looked like a white shag rug, and the last two looked like other renditions of sheets with flowers or jewels on them.