The Full Experience

by Dawn Doyle

  They sat rubbing their aching temples for a while.

  Raven’s started to subside a little so she got up to get drinks, asking the girls what they wanted.

  “Coffee,” they said in unison.

  “Be right back.”

  Raven made her way to the coffee cart, and poured four cups.

  She knew he was there before he opened his mouth.

  He smelled like soap and…man.

  “Good morning, Beck,” she said, swallowing the saliva in her mouth. She reacted without even laying her eyes on him.

  “How did you know I was behind you?” he asked, his voice playful.

  “I could smell you.” Raven cringed, screwing her eyes shut as soon as the words left her mouth.

  “You could smell me?” That’s new,” he chuckled. “What do I smell like?”

  “I don’t know,” she squeaked.

  She felt him move closer to her back, the heat from his body against hers. It took all her strength not lean back onto him.

  “Why don’t you take a good sniff?”

  “Ah!” Raven jumped when his lips were next to her ear, making him chuckle; again.

  She’d had it with him. It was too early in the morning, she was too sensitive to him and she couldn’t possibly cope with his game in her state.

  “Beck, please. I’m not in the mood, and I have a huge headache.”

  “I know a cure for that,” he rasped. Letting his mouth linger next to her ear far longer than necessary.

  “So do I. It’s called leaving me the fuck alone.”

  Raven gathered all of the tiny ounce of courage she could muster and threw her hips back, letting her ass connect with his front.

  She smiled when she heard Beck take a sharp breath, but she wasn’t going to stick around for his comeback. She walked as fast as her hangover would let her, and sat at the table.

  “Ok, even I don’t have the strength for him today, and it’s not even me he’s chasing,” Ava grumbled, then picked up her coffee.

  “Agreed,” Kerry and Leila said, lifting their cups.

  Raven watched as Beck ran his hands through his hair, and wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through it. He looked as though he hadn’t shaved and had a light stubble on his jaw. She imagined what that’d feel like grazing over her skin, the tip of his tongue licking up her throat, his fingertips stroking down from her neck, to her breasts, then further until he was following the path to the promised land.

  The strong pulsing between her thighs brought her back down to earth.

  She squirmed in her seat, and took deep breaths to calm herself down. The scent of him was still lingering in her nostrils, and she couldn’t breathe properly without inhaling him again.

  Beck looked over to her, and she knew he’d seen her watching him. If anything, she could just make the excuse that she was making sure he wasn’t going to go over to their table.

  Truthfully, she was definitely eye-fucking him that time.

  “Raven Valiente!” A male voice shouted over the crowd.

  The whole room turned to the man standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers.

  Oh ground open up and swallow me whole!

  “She’s here!” Ava called out, pointing to Raven.

  The guy walked over, he was wearing a florist's delivery uniform, and held out a clipboard for Raven to sign. She took the pen and scribbled her name quickly.

  “Here you go, have a nice day,” the guy said, looking at her for longer than she liked.

  “Who are they from?” Leila said excitedly, bouncing in her seat.

  The hangovers seemed to have been cured with the delivery of the most beautiful flowers Raven had ever seen.

  Mixtures of pink curcumas, pink calla lilies, blue hyacinths, pink lisianthus, and white Roses.

  Raven sniffed the flowers and then reached in to get the card.

  She read the beautiful note and smiled.

  “Oh that’s so sweet!” Ava gushed. “The man in your life sends you flowers to campus,” she said a little too loudly.

  Raven felt her stand on her foot under the table. She knew immediately what Ava was doing.

  “Yeah, he’s the best,” Raven sighed.

  She sneaked a glance to Beck.

  Big mistake.

  She couldn’t decipher the look on his face, but he wasn’t happy.

  It was no secret that Beck didn’t like to mess around with girls already ‘taken’; he’d insisted on it.

  If a girl was seeing somebody and came to him, he wouldn’t entertain them. No matter what he’d done, he refused to be the ‘other guy’, even for just the one time.

  “I’m not interested,” he said bluntly.

  The girl who’d flirted with him had been attempting to tease him for the past hour.

  “Why not? It’s a no-strings-one off, just like you said. It’s not like I’m asking you to cuddle me afterwards, Beck.”

  “You have a boyfriend, Lita, I don’t touch taken girls.”

  Beck sounded bored. He made a move to leave, but Lita stepped in front of him and lifted her hand to put it on his chest.

  Beck’s reflexes were too quick, and he grabbed her wrist.

  “Lita, I said no.”

  He dropped her hand and walked away, shaking his head.

  Raven felt embarrassed for the girl. She’d practically begged Beck to have sex with her.

  There was something else there too, though. She knew Beck didn’t want any attachment, but the way Lita spoke to him was like Beck was just something she just wanted to use for her own pleasure.

  He wasn’t a person to her. He was just a dildo with a pulse.

  That’s all he was wanted for.

  He knew it too.

  Raven felt awful for him.

  “So, who are they from?”

  Donnie asked, as he walked by their table. He’d been walking in when Raven had taken delivery of the flowers.

  “Her main man,” Kerry gushed, batting her eyes and holding her hands to her chest in a sigh.

  “He’s older; mature,” Leila added for good measure. “I bet he’s really great.”

  “He’s amazing, and I love him,” Raven said, smiling up at Donnie. She knew she looked convincing; she was telling the truth after all.

  She got out her phone and sent a thank you text.

  “Huh,” Donnie grunted, narrowing his eyes. He glanced between the smiling faces at the table before walking over to Beck.

  When he got there, they exchanged words, but Raven couldn’t make out what they were saying. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

  Oh shit.

  “Let’s take these up to my room,” Raven whispered.

  The girls nodded, and they hurried out of the hall.

  “Did you see his face?” Ava had a guilty expression when she spoke first. “I think we pushed it a little too far, there.”

  “What? Like he doesn’t push Ray too far?” Kerry asked. “He does everything but enter her when he gets going.”

  “God, Kerry!” Raven shrieked. “He doesn’t get anywhere near that close.”

  “He gets closer with you than other girls,” Leila pointed out.

  “I think inside is as close as you can get.”

  “Not when it comes to Beck, Ray-Ray. You know that.” Ava put her arm around Raven’s shoulders as they walked.

  “I do feel bad. He must hate himself right now.”

  “He should,” Kerry spoke up. “Serves him right.”

  It wasn’t that Raven thought Beck needed to pay for all the times he had her weak at the knees; he needed to pay for all the times that he’d left her in worse states.

  A hot, quivering mess.

  Maybe he would leave her alone, even for a short time.

  But did she want him to?

  Getting to her dorm, Ava helped trim the stems, and put the flowers into a large vase, whilst Kerry and Ava got some late studying in for their class.

  The flowers looked be
autiful, and Raven beamed at how they brightened their room.

  The room was painted in a warm yellow color with a pale pink border around the top. Their matching peach bed covers made the room look like it had a summer glow to it. The flowers added more color, and their perfume only added to the meadow-like atmosphere in the room.

  “I need to go see Lenny about our paper. Will you be ok?” Ava asked, rubbing Raven’s arms.

  “Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m going to head over to the library soon anyway.”

  “Ok, Ray-Ray.”

  The rest of the day went by without a peep from Beck. Strangely, Donnie was nowhere to be seen either. It made Raven both relieved and guilty.

  Guilty because she’d made him think she was ‘taken’, when she knew how he felt about that.

  *****

  Raven felt so nervous her stomach was rolling. She was about to go into class and face Beck after a weekend of silence.

  She’d felt as though she’d had a vacation without his sexual references and innuendos, but she hated to admit that she missed him.

  She missed how his gaze made her feel. How his closeness had her heart pounding.

  No matter what his game was, Beck had gotten well and truly under her skin.

  He’d made sure of that.

  Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to the lecture room.

  Beck was sitting in the chair next to her as he had done since their year started. He had to remain there because once seats were taken, they were allocated to that student.

  He was looking down at the table, doodling on the paper in front of him.

  “Hey,” she said quietly as she sat down next to him.

  “Hey,” he replied, not looking up from the paper.

  That was it. He didn’t say another word to her as she got her books out of her bag.

  Raven had no idea what was going through his mind as he stared down at the table.

  God I hate this!

  “Who’s the guy?” He asked after a half hour into the lecture.

  “What guy?”

  “Don’t play dumb, Raven. The guy who sent you the flowers. The one you ‘love’.”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  He turned his body to her, his expression stone cold as he stared.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, not answering her question.

  “You didn’t ask.”

  “I shouldn’t have to.”

  “I shouldn’t have to tell you my business either; should I?”

  Beck turned back to his doodles. “No,” he muttered. “But it would’ve been nice to know you had a boyfriend.”

  “I never said I didn’t.”

  “I assumed you didn’t when you never said anything!” he whisper shouted, instantly turning back to her. His eyes burned into her accusatorially. “You let me carry on anyway, and you know how I feel about that, Raven.”

  “I have a rule of my own, Beck,” she lowered her voice. “Never assume.”

  “Is it that guy, the one who you had to fake it with?”

  “That’s none of your business!” she almost yelled. “You overheard a private conversation that had nothing to do with you!”

  “It is isn’t it? What’s the point in being with somebody if they can’t get you off?” he asked, as if she hadn’t spoken.

  “Not everything is about sex, Beck.”

  “Isn’t it?” he, narrowed his eyes at her. His eyebrows pinched together as if wondering what she was talking about.

  “Maybe for you, but not for me.”

  “You’re damn right,” he growled.

  Raven didn’t want to carry on with their argument, or whatever it was they were having. She felt guilty enough as it was, and decided just to take a deep breath, and leave it there.

  Beck didn’t speak to her for the rest of the class and made his exit the second they were dismissed.

  Beck was gone in a flurry, Ava was nowhere to be found, and the other girls were in their classes.

  Raven had nobody to turn to.

  Taking out her phone, she called Ava to find out where she was. She needed her friend.

  “What’s the matter, Ray?” Ava asked when Raven sniffed up.

  “Ay, I think I made Beck really really mad,” she said, ducking into a corner under the stairs in the senior halls for privacy.

  “What happened?”

  The noise behind Ava silenced as if she’d shut herself in a quiet room.

  Raven told Ava about the conversation between them in class, and how Beck had looked at her with disappointment.

  “Ray-Ray, don’t worry. You were right in saying he shouldn’t assume. Just because he hasn’t seen you with anybody, doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t with somebody.”

  That was the same case for him, too. Just because he was never seen with a girl that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing a girl. She thought about every time Beck would go missing. Is that was he was doing? Fulfilling somebody’s ‘full experience’?

  That thought made her stomach lurch. He was probably with somebody right at that moment, having his ‘nothing more’.

  “Besides,” Ava continued, “this will give him the reason to leave you alone.”

  “I suppose,” she replied, sniffing up and wiping the tear that rolled down her cheek.

  “Seriously, are you ok? Do you need me to come to you?” Ava sounded concerned.

  “No, it’s ok. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to our room for a while.”

  “Ok, honey. I’ll be back soon.”

  Raven wiped her face with her sleeve, and left the building with the cloud of guilt weighing heavily on her shoulders.

  At dinner, Raven barely heard the conversations the girls were having. All she could think about was how Beck looked when they were in class.

  The way he looked at her. The way he growled out his reply.

  ‘You’re damn right’.

  The words were playing over and over in her head.

  Something was off. She wasn’t completely sure which one of them he was referring to.

  “Ray,” Ava nudged her with her elbow. “Has he said anything to you?”

  “Who?” Raven had missed what the girls had been talking about.

  “Beck. Has he said anything?”

  “I haven’t seen him since class, this morning,” she replied, looking down at her hands.

  “Don’t you dare feel bad, Ray,” Kerry chastised her. “He needs to realize that he can’t do what the hell he pleases. He needs to stew for a while.”

  “I say he should stew for a long while,” Leila said, nodding.

  Raven didn’t know why the girls were so hell bent on hurting Beck more than necessary.

  “He thinks he’s been messing with another guy’s girlfriend,” Raven said, her voice shaking. “He’s not angry with me; he’s angry with himself.”

  “What?” the three girls chorused.

  Raven told them, briefly, about the time she’d heard him refusing Lita’s advances.

  “Has he screwed another guy’s girl and got caught?” Kerry asked. “Is that why he won’t?”

  “No,” Raven replied. “He refuses because the girl is with someone. He wouldn’t do that to another guy.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Hello Raven,” Beck said, coming up behind her when she was walking from the coffee cart.

  She’d been grabbing a cup before heading back to her dorm.

  “Beck,” she replied, trying to walk faster.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, moving to walk alongside her.

  “To my dorm.”

  Raven walked through the entrance to her dorm building and headed down the hallway that led to the stairs.

  “Where’s Ava?”

  “I don’t…” she paused, turning to look up at him. “What do you want?”

  “I want…” he took the coffee cup out of her hand, brought it his lips, and sipped. “Mmm. Good coffee.”

 
“Yes, and it’s mine,” she said, taking it back.

  “My lips have been on your cup,” he grinned.

  Raven closed her eyes, and shook her head. He could turn anything sexual.

  “Can I ask you something?” she asked. It had been bugging her for days.

  “Ask away,” he said, his arms wide.

  “Why don’t you touch girls who are taken?” The look on his face had Raven regretting asking that very question. “Never mind, forget I asked.” She took a step when Beck put his hand on her arm to stop her.

  “Why do you want to know?” he asked curiously.

  “I was just thinking,” she muttered, nervously. “Um…Lita wanted you to um…but she’s with someone. You said no. Why does that matter if she’s willing?”

  “It matters because the guy she’s with has no fucking clue that he’s seeing somebody that has no fucking respect for him,” he said, angrily. “Imagine how he’d feel if I’d fucked his girlfriend, and she’s the one who asked?” He shook his head in disgust. “There’s fucking someone, and there’s fucking someone over.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Not just suppose, Raven,” Beck blew out a sharp breath, before taking a step closer to her. “It’s definite. They don’t deserve to have somebody who wants that kind of thing if they’re willing to risk it for a one-off with somebody who doesn’t.”

  Beck pinched the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, closing his eyes. He released a slow breath, before he took one look at Raven, then walked away.

  Raven knew that there was more to Beck than he was letting people see.

  Raven told the girls the brief version. Leaving out the intimate parts.

  “I asked why, after I’d heard Lita, and he said that they have no respect for their boyfriend if they asked him to have sex with them.”

  “Yeah that makes sense. Imagine knowing your guy screwed around with somebody like Lita, when you were really into him,” Leila put her hands over her heart. “That would be heartbreaking.”