Dumb Luck

by J G Jerome

“Rampant?” I ask. She nods with a grin. “Where’d you pick that up? You read romance novels in your down time?” She chuckles. “I’ll have you know, young lady, the only reason I haven’t been sporting wood the whole time is that I have been envisioning the effect a meat grinder would have on my cock through the whole conversation. It’s amazingly effective at preventing unwanted rampantness.”

  Trina giggles,and then she leans in and gives me another kiss.

  “Trina, if you keep that up no amount of meat grinders are going to prevent a rampant breakout.”

  She laughs, “I figured you were just too old to get it up after a long hard day, Jack.”

  “Ow! That hurt. I’d spank your ass for that, but I know you’d consider it a reward.”

  She hugs me with another chuckle, “I’m beginning to see what she likes about you.”

  I hold her tightly to me. “How do you recommend contacting her? I was thinking text or phone call. Text if you’re up for that much typing.”

  “I agree; although, we’re safe enough here that I can use dictation rather than typing. I’ll text her at our next stop. By the way...I know I’m pissed at Silk for taking this job, but I really should take his body back to his family. I liked him, Jack. He was great at his job and a joy to work with. He knew when to be serious and when to crack jokes. I hate that I had to kill him. Goddess! I know his wife. She’s always been really nice to me. That’s not a given with demi-fey”

  “Shit, Trina. He’s quite a ways down there. Are you planning to rappel?”

  “Nope. Don’t worry. I got this.”

  “I’m going to worry. Myra told me to keep myself safe, and then she said the only thing that could possibly equal that mission in importance is keeping you safe. I would worry about you regardless because I would be bored without you, but I have my mission by royal decree.”

  “You ass,” she laughs. “Let go of me, you brute.” I do, and then she gives me a wink and jumps to the ground. “Stand over there, Jack.”

  I move to the location she indicates. She has me adjust a little bit as she looks down on Silk’s body parts. “Oh...hold that thought,” she says. She roots around for the lunch garbage and pulls out the ziplock bag. Sadly, I threw it way in the back; so, I am forced to admire her fine backside while she digs around back there. ‘Sacrifices must be made, Home Team.’

  Then she checks to ensure we don’t have any obvious observers. She looks back down to Silk, and her eyes glow brightly. The shadow I’m throwing over his body parts coalesce into an impenetrable black cloud. Holding the ziplock open in the shadow thrown by the SUV, she nods her head in a slow rhythm. The black cloud down the hillside moves up towards the drop off then it floats up and into the ziplock. Her eyes fade as she pokes and adjusts the parts to get them to fit, then she zips it closed. She then pulls a black cloth bag from her duffle and places the ziplock inside it before returning the cloth bag to the duffle and securing the zipper.

  She dusts her hands off, looks at me and says, “All done. Mount up, sir”

  “Double entendre much, Trina?” She laughs and says “Get in the truck, boss..”

  So I do.

  Chapter 13 - Shopping for a Prescott Home

  Trina gets us back on the road and handles the tricky drive through Jerome and over the top of Mingus mountain as though she had done it hundreds of times in her sleep. I always hate riding over this route. It’s better if I’m driving, but as the passenger in the back seat I about crawl out of my skin. Trina has the grace to ignore me if she notices my discomfort. I suspect she notices. She doesn’t miss much. We find Mingus Summit rest area shortly after cresting the mountain. She observes, “That would have made a great lunch stop.”

  There are two Jeeps and a minivan there with families running around. My response is, “It’s good we didn’t choose it today. Explaining the Silky mess in the back would have been difficult.” She shrugs and keeps driving. We’re down the mountain in about 15 minutes and looking for a parking place close to the realtor on the corner of Cortez and Gurley. I call the agent, Laura, to give her a heads up while we search. We luck into a spot across the street on Cortez about a block away.

  We dismount from the SUV, and I pull my jacket closer around me. I was running warm in the car and in Cottonwood, but the heavy leather car coat feels good in Prescott’s cooler temp. We dash between cars to cross the street, and Trina pulls her jacket closer. This has the delightful side-effect of high-lighting her gorgeous firm ass. We should probably give her ass credit for our safe traverse of the street because the view did cause several cars to slow as they passed.

  Laura is waiting for us at the desk when we enter. She’s a tall willowy blond woman in her mid-fifties with ponderous breasts wearing a slate blue tie-dyed dress with southwest native motifs for highlights. She has suede ankle boots with fringe on them. She greets us, “Hello! Are you Jack?”

  “I am. Laura, I presume. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person. This lovely lady with me is Trina.”

  Apparently the ladies passed signals. I catch the slightest hint of a grimace from Laura before her professional smile returns, and Trina sidles up to wrap both arms around my right one. I think, ‘Why do I feel like the rope in a tug-of-war?’ Fortunately Durec doesn‘t answer. He probably has pretty good radar for knowing when I’m addressing him and when I’m not.

  Laura recovers quickly, “How delightful to meet you too, Trina.” She gives us a little ‘Vana White wave’ to indicate where we are going. “I’ve set up the conference room to walk through what I have to show you. We’ll go look at the ones you like. Please take a seat and have a water if you like. Would either of you like coffee?”

  We both decline as I seat Trina behind the conference table facing out, and then I take a seat beside her.

  “Well, let’s get started then,” and she begins the show. Laura displays pictures and details of three properties. After discussing them, I decide that just the one Senator Highway property interests me. I am not particularly optimistic about it either, but I try not to appear too disappointed.

  Laura says, “well why don’t we all hop into my truck and ride down to take a look at it.” Trina squeezes my arm. I look at her and see the barely detectable shake of her head.

  “Laura, I think we would rather just follow you down there. We have a lot of miles to travel yet today. This way we can leave directly from the property.”

  “Sure thing, Jack,” she smiles at me. “My truck is the red Raptor sitting right out front.”

  “OK, we’re just north on Cortez in a brown Yukon. I’ll text when we’re turned around and in position to follow.”

  “Sure thing, Jack.”

  We head to our vehicles. As we turn left out of the office door, Trina wraps up my left arm and whispers in a creditable ‘Laura voice,’ “Sure thing, Jack.”

  I laugh, and she joins me a moment later. As we’re about to step into the street, she says, “Please sit up front, Jack. I don’t want that smarmy bitch to know I’m your chauffeur.”

  “Sure, Trina,” as I turn to her. “Just so you and I are clear, you are much more than just my chauffeur.”

  I get a 100 kilowatt smile as my reward. “I know that, Jack. For some reason it’s important to me that she knows it too.” She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and slides her right hand to grab mine as she checks the street and leads me to the truck.

  Maybe it isn’t how she's holding her jacket, because the cars slow or stop to let us walk across; although, they do seem to take their time getting going again. Someone has to honk in the northbound side to get them moving.

  I walk Trina to her door and hold it for her as she mounts up, collecting a quick kiss from her again. I secure her door and walk around the front to get into the front passenger seat. After I close the door and buckle in, I turn to see her looking at me with a big smile. “That was perfectly done, Jack. Thank you.”

  “You’re most welcome, Trina Darling.” She backs the SUV out, and I cue up
a text for Laura. As she pulls forward, something occurs to me. “Hey Trina, according to everything I’ve ever heard or read about the Fae, saying ‘Thank you’ is kind of verboten. Yet, you’ve done it a couple of times. I think Myra did, too. Is that a ‘thing’ or not?”

  Trina nods as she waits for the last car to pass at the intersection of Cortez & Willis. She expertly whips a u-turn in the intersection while the light is still green. “It is a thing,” she says. Once we’re out of the intersection, I send the text. “It’s very much a thing among several Fae races. You do not want to say it to a Goblin of any sort, as they will assume you owe them something because they’ve done you a favor, whether they know what the favor is or not. Otherwise, why would you thank them?” The red Raptor backs out after the car in front of us passes. “Brownies and Hobgoblins will both be offended because it insinuates they are trying to curry favor as they tend to find themselves in domestic service roles. They like to be appreciated, but they demand respect - as they should. They are amazing. The Sidhe mix with humans more, so we have picked it up when dealing with humans and sometimes within nuclear family. Never in public among Sidhe or across family lines - same reasoning as Goblins.” We wait to turn left on Gurley. “I think the origin of that in our culture would go back to the Demi-fey. When you contract with them to do something, you pay them up front. Generally in food, textiles, appropriately-sized home goods or weapons. As they haven’t done the agreed work, they would say “thank you” to acknowledge their commitment to do something that has already been paid for.” The light turns and we’re off. “Myra and I say it to each other, but only when we’re alone and generally when we are touched by something thoughtful the other did when there was no obligation to do so.”

  “Okay,” I say as I get why Trina just said. Watching her, “That was a very comprehensive run-down. Thank you for taking the time to explain it so thoroughly to me.” I am rewarded with another big smile.

  Laura leads us east on Gurley Street and then turns right onto Senator Highway. We travel for about five minutes to Sweet Acres Drive, and then follow it to Oak Knoll Drive, and then to E. Pine Rock Drive. We pull off onto a dirt road on the left and continue about 100 yards into the forest, when we come to a small clearing with a road cutting through it. The mountainside angles up in front of us. I’m underwhelmed as soon as I see it.

  Trina pulls over close to the Raptor and then backs us into the tree line. I dismount, and remembering Trina’s desire to sell the impression of how close we are to Laura, I walk around to her door as she is opening it. She smiles at me, picking up on what I am doing. “Oh Jack, you’re the sweetest, most gallant man ever!”

  Trina grabs my left hand, and we walk over to Laura. She points out the property lines and the little creek that runs through one edge of the property, but it currently has less water in it than my last piss. It’s only about 5 acres, about two-thirds of which are the steep mountainside. I could make it work for a scaled-down version of what I’m looking for, but the open land for grazing and harvesting is lacking. I think I may need to re-assess - either change what I’m looking for or where I’m looking.

  Laura asks, “So Jack, what do you think. You ready to put in an offer?”

  “Uh...no, Laura. I’m not going to say ‘no’ right now, but it doesn’t look as promising in person as it did on the presentation. Having the road run through is an issue aesthetically, but it really doesn’t work if this is a public thoroughfare. I don’t see any grass in the track. That tells me the neighbors are using it. I’ll need to have assurances that isn’t going to be problem before I even consider an offer.”

  She looks like she doesn’t get what I’m talking about, but shrugs and says, “Okay. You all want to follow me out?”

  Trina shakes her head, “No, we want to talk about all the properties we’ve toured before we get back on the road. Thanks for showing this one to us.”

  Laura wishes us well, “Okay, you guys have a great day.” Then she hops, literally, up into her truck and leaves down the road that ‘no one uses.’ I shake my head.

  Chapter 14 - Connecting

  Trina grabs my hand, walks over to the SUV, and leans back against the hood on the driver’s side. She asks, “Do you think she bought it?”

  “What was she supposed to buy, Trina?

  She looks at me shyly rocking my hand back and forth in front of her. “That we are a couple.”

  I chuckle. “I don’t think it was much of a stretch. We have better chemistry than a lot of longtime couples I know, even without being lovers. I didn’t have to put any effort into being convincing. We may still be getting to know each other, but we definitely have a relationship.”

  She looks at me carefully. “You’re attracted to me, but you are being careful with me. I appreciate it, Jack.”

  “Of course, Trina. You’re worth the little bit of effort required. It’s easy to see why Myra loves you so much.” I wrap her gently into a hug.

  “I do feel a growing connection with you, Jack.” She leans her head on my left shoulder. “When Myra introduced me to you, I just KNEW I was going to be jealous of you. And yet, I haven’t been - well not of you as a person, just the time she spent with you.” I squeeze her gently and slowly stroke her back. “I didn't expect to enjoy your company so much.”

  She looks up at me and bites her lip for a moment. She inches closer and leaves a lingering kiss on my lips. I open my mouth to capture her bottom lip and gently suck on it into mine. I release it, and she pulls her head back leaving her wonderful body pressed into mine.

  “Ja-ack, did you know your eyes turn green?”

  “I have received that feedback before. Apparently having hazel eyes makes them changeable. Sometimes blue shows more in the mirror. Sometimes grey. I have only seen them green one time in the mirror. I have been told mine turn green on several occasions. In every case my emotions were running high - when I’m being amorous, when I’m angry, or when I’m fighting. I have no idea when it’s happening.”

  Trina grows serious, “When we were battling with the asshats, I saw from the distance that your eyes were green. It almost looked like they glowed. I was focused on Silk when he attacked, but I swear I saw a flash of green when you punched - they were definitely green after.” A smile grows on her face, “The were also green when we made love to Myra in the Safeway. Whenever I call you ‘Sir,’ they turn green. And Jack, I can tell you that every time I kissed you they turned green.”

  “Really?”

  She nods. “Ready to go?” She quickly kisses me again.

  “I confess, if you keep kissing me I’m going to keep staying right here.”

  “Last one,” she gently pats my cheek and pulls away. “Let’s go, Sir.”

  She opens her door and gets in. I ask, “Front or back,” as I walk around to the passenger side.

  “I bet she’s lurking to watch us. You better sit in front.” She closes her door and starts the vehicle. I jump in the front passenger seat. She’s smiling as she puts it in gear and reverses our route in.

  “Hey Trina, let’s take the other route back to Cottonwood. Do you mind?”

  “No Jack. I don’t mind. I’m good for fuel. I’ll be about half-tank when we get to Cottonwood. I don’t suppose I could talk you into using that wonderful app to get me a coffee.”

  “I was about to suggest it. The one on Montezuma and Sheldon.”

  “On my way, Sir.”

  I submit the mobile order once we get to Gurley street. Five minutes later we have coffee in hand, and Trina is driving us east on Sheldon towards AZ 69 to the outskirts of Dewey-Humbolt. We take our time, sipping our coffees as we go. Eventually we reach the junction with AZ 169. Turning left onto it, we continue on a northern route to I-17 rather than the more southerly one on AZ 69. About halfway down the road we pass Cherry Creek Road on the left.

  “Hey Trina, pull over please.” She checks the rear view and then glides to the shoulder.

  She scans the surrounding t
errain, “What’s the matter, Jack? This is not a great place for a picnic and a grope.”

  I smile, “Don’t put ideas into my head.”

  She scoffs, “As if, you dirty old perv.” She smirks at me. I break out in laughter then. ‘Trina 1, Jack 0.’

  Once I can form sentences again, “No, it’s that road sign back there. The road runs over the mountains, and it’s possible to drive it over them. I’ve seen it on AZ 260, too. Terrain-wise there might be something there that fits what I’m looking for. Do you mind a detour? I know it’s getting late afternoon, but we still have enough time that we can be leisurely about it and not run out of daylight.”

  She ponders it a moment, “I suppose it’s okay. Do you know what’s in there?

  “Not really. According to my map survey of the area over the last few months, there’s a small community called Cherry back there with a couple of stores, a B&B, a couple of campgrounds, and what look like some nice homes from the satellite footage. Maybe a forestry substation and some farms, too? I don’t know for sure, but my gut tells me to check it out.”

  She just looks at me with a deadpan stare for a moment, “Well I know you old guys have great instincts and wisdom and everything.” Then she laughs again.

  I chuckle, “Okay child, I am going to spank that fine tight ass whether you like it or not.”

  Her laugh hitches as her eyes…’saucer?’ ‘Yeah, let’s go with saucer as a verb...get really big.’ Her eyes saucer, and her breath catches. She looks at me like a rabbit cornered by a wolf, “Jack, your eyes are glowing.”

  “Trina, if you don’t like them to turn green, don’t keep stoking the fires.”

  She turns disappointed, “You have been trying not to be too flirty, but you seemed to enjoy it so far. Are you telling me you don’t like my flirting?” she asks quietly.

  I reach across to cup her cheek in my left hand. “Trina I love your flirting. I’m just saying if you don’t want my eyes to turn green, you have the ability to influence.”