A Gideon Johann Boxed Set Book 1 - 4 (A Gideon Johann Western 0)

by Duane Boehm

  Abby placed a hand on each of Gideon’s shoulders. Her eyes brimmed with tears and in a measured voice, she said, “Here’s what you are going to do. Mary never gave up on you and you’re not going to give up on her. You have to believe in her strength to survive. You have no other choice.”

  Hugging his wife, Gideon said, “I don’t know why life has to be so hard.”

  “I guess it’s to make us appreciate the good times. Let’s get back in there,” Abby said.

  Using the back of his hands, Gideon wiped his eyes as they walked into the room. Everyone sat in chairs that Finnie had retrieved before they had all arrived. All of their faces looked lined with either tension or exhaustion. Mary slept, her breathing shallow and barely audible.

  “Any change?” Gideon asked.

  Doc shook his head no.

  Delta took it upon herself to open the saloon and run it. She brought food on a tray up to the bedroom after the lunch crowd had thinned. As the others ate, she leaned down over Mary and whispered, “Don’t you dare leave me. We’ve been through way too much together for you to go off and leave me on my own. I need you.” She then ran out of the room without another word.

  Mary awoke late in the afternoon. She opened her eyes to see Abby and Sarah sitting on either side of her. Glancing back and forth between the two of them, she used only her eyes as if too weak to move her head.

  “Did you see Claire? Isn’t she a beautiful baby? I need to nurse –,” Mary whispered before her eyes closed and her head fell to the side.

  Abby let out a scream and jumped up. Doc moved quickly to his patient and grabbed her wrist to take her pulse.

  “Is she gone?” Finnie asked quietly from the foot of the bed as if afraid to hear his own words

  “No, she passed out from lack of blood,” Doc said.

  The doctor dug out his stethoscope from his bag and listened to Mary’s chest. He moved the instrument all over as he checked her breathing and heartbeat. At the doctor’s request, Sarah and Abby held the blanket up to protect Mary’s privacy from the men as he examined her.

  “The bleeding has finally almost stopped. I wouldn’t consider it significant any longer, but at this point, she’s very weak. Her breathing is shallow and her heartbeat is no longer strong. Mary has lost a tremendous amount of blood. She could pull through this, but it’ll take a miracle. Usually they just keep getting weaker at this point,” Doc said before collapsing in a chair, seemingly resigned to the inevitable.

  Color came to Sarah’s cheeks and she jumped up from her chair as if headed out the door before spinning around and facing the room. Her hand shot up and her boney finger shook at the others in the room. “Nobody in this room is going to give up on Mary. If you are, then you might as well go home. If she doesn’t have the strength to go on, we will be her strength. Everybody needs to keep praying and willing her to live. We all know that Benjamin would have died when he was kidnapped if not for Mary. She was there for us and we can’t lose hope for her now. There’s no way in hell that I’m letting her go without a fight,” she said before walking over to Mary and taking her hand. A look of determination so fierce that it would have been comical in another setting came over her as she willed Mary to live.

  Finally, to break the awkward silence, Finnie said, “Doc, the next room is empty. Why don’t you go get some rest? You’re exhausted. We can keep watch over her and get you if you’re needed.”

  “I think I will. I’m not as young as I used to be,” the doctor said before shuffling out of the room.

  At dinnertime, the two couples took turns going to the hotel for a meal. Finnie refused to leave Mary’s side and Ethan and Sarah brought back some food that he forced himself to eat. Doc arose at close to eight o’clock and returned to the bedroom looking remarkably refreshed for a man of his age. His eyes looked clear and his step had regained its vitality. He checked Mary again and announced that her condition had neither improved nor worsened. His belly growled and he remarked that he was starving. He then left to find John and have dinner.

  The vigilance kept on through the night. Eventually, each person gave in to sleep and took a turn in the other bedroom. Even Finnie finally gave in to his exhaustion and took a nap. Mary never regained consciousness throughout the night, and before morning, they all dozed in their chairs.

  Everyone remained asleep as the sunshine flooded through the window and melting snow dripped from the roof looking like a shower of diamonds as they passed. Mary opened her eyes and watched the spectacle on the other side of the glass as she tried to gather her thoughts. She looked around the crowded room at the sleeping bodies positioned in the most awkward poses imaginable and wondered if they were here for her deathwatch. Death didn’t seem out of the question. She had to summon all her stamina just to turn her head. “Hey,” she called out as loud as her strength allowed.

  Gideon and Finnie opened their eyes immediately. Their years of war had taught them to be alert to noise as they slept. Finnie shot out of his chair and moved to Mary’s side as the others stirred from the commotion.

  Taking Mary’s hand, Finnie asked, “How are you feeling?”

  In a weak voice, she asked, “Am I dying?”

  “I would say not. Nobody here would allow it,” Finnie said with a smile.

  “I feel like it,” Mary whispered as a circle of people surrounded her.

  “Let me have some room,” Doc grumbled as he tried to get the stethoscope to Mary’s chest.

  Everyone remained quiet as the doctor listened for fear of enduring his wrath. As Doc pulled the instrument out of his ears, he said, “Mary, you’re very weak, but better than you were or have a right to be,” he said.

  “Look at all of you here for me. You all look like I feel,” Mary said, making everyone smile.

  Doc turned to Abby and Sarah. “She needs milk, calf liver, and greens. Do you girls think that you can make that happen?”

  Mary made a face.

  “Young lady, this is serious. You need to eat whether you feel like it or not. Food is the only thing that is going to make you better. You have no idea how sick you are,” Doc said.

  Gideon ushered everyone away from the bed. “Let’s all get out of here and let Finnie and Mary have some time alone while the girls rustle her up some food.”

  As they walked out the door, they could hear Mary ask Finnie, “I lost our baby, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, but we about lost you too. We can talk when you’re stronger,” Finnie said.

  Mary closed her eyes to rest, but not before a single tear escaped down her cheek.

  Chapter 22

  Recovery for Mary proved slow going. Abby, Sarah, and Joann took turns caring for her as she continued to recuperate. Her appetite remained good, but her spirit low. She spoke very little and made for poor company, causing the women to give up on conversation and concentrate on knitting and sewing. Another bout of confusion sent Doc scrambling to check on her, but he found no signs of new hemorrhaging and the episode quickly passed.

  Finnie hovered over Mary as much as his job allowed and his constant attention got on her last nerve. Though she tried to conceal her feelings, a part of her resented Finnie for impregnating her. She reasoned that if she hadn’t been pregnant, she would have never gotten her hopes up for raising a child or nearly have died. Having relations again with Finnie seemed like something that she could not even fathom.

  Six days after losing the baby, she still remained bedridden. Sarah tried to carry on a conversation with her, but found her unreceptive to small talk. While sympathetic to her plight, Sarah sized up the situation and realized that the time had come for a heart–to–heart talk.

  “Mary, we need to talk. Nobody around here realizes what you are going through better than I do. I lived through three miscarriages. I never got as sick as you did, but I felt like I died inside on each one. There were days where I didn’t think I could go on, especially after the last one. They all took some time to get over, but I eventually did. Ev
en though it doesn’t feel like it now, time will heal you. Do you understand?” Sarah said as she looked into Mary’s eyes to see if she were listening.

  “I guess, but this doesn’t feel like something that you ever get over,” Mary said.

  “I know it doesn’t and I’m not saying that you should get over it in a day or two, I’m just saying that you will get over this. I’ll tell you something else that I’ve never told a soul, certainly not Ethan, not even Abby, but there were times when I resented Ethan. I needed somebody to blame and he was the logical choice. He was the one that helped make the baby inside of me. That passed in time too. A miscarriage is probably nature’s way of ridding us of a baby that would not have survived anyway. I tried reminding myself of that on the bad days,” Sarah said.

  “Sometimes I feel as if life likes to kick me around. Did you know that I was resenting Finnie?” Mary asked.

  “No, I just figured that if I felt that way that maybe you were too and I wanted you to know that it will pass,” Sarah answered.

  “Thank you. Getting over this seems like a long time away,” Mary said as her eyes welled with tears.

  “I know it does, but it’s time to get out of bed. We are going to walk the hall,” Sarah said.

  “Sarah, I don’t think I’m strong enough,” Mary protested.

  “Yes, you are. I can tolerate your grieving, but I can’t tolerate you lying around withering away. I owe you too much to let you get by with that. Come on. Get up. I’m not asking, I’m telling. You’ve laid around long enough,” Sarah said and started tugging on Mary’s arm.

  Deciding that now was not the time to provoke Sarah, Mary arose reluctantly and unsteadily to her feet. The loss of blood made her lightheaded and she swayed while still in the clutches of Sarah. Her head cleared somewhat as her body adjusted to being vertical and after taking a couple of breaths. They headed out the door and down the hall. Mary’s steps were small and slow. She could have been mistaken for an elderly lady as she moved. The walking felt exhausting but a glance at Sarah’s face banished any hope of abandoning the stroll. Sarah insisted that she make three trips down the corridor before allowing her to go back to bed.

  “We’re going to walk on the hour, every hour, for the rest of the day,” Sarah announced.

  Mary managed a smile for the first time since losing the baby. “You really are as mean as Ethan says you are,” she joked.

  Finnie came to check on Mary at noon and found her turning her nose up at another meal of liver. She smiled at him before turning her attention back to the bite of food and trying to marshal her resolve to eat it.

  “Death may have been preferable to one more bite of liver,” Mary said.

  “I would imagine that you’ve had your fill of that stuff. How are you feeling?” Finnie said.

  Sarah stood. “I’m going to take a break and get something to eat,” she said on her way out the door.

  “I’m better. Sarah made me get up and walk. We’ve done it twice so far. She’s bossy when she wants to be,” Mary said begrudgingly.

  “I can still hear you,” Sarah hollered from the hall and made the couple laugh.

  “I’m glad to hear it. Your color is better today,” Finnie remarked.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t felt much like talking. I’ve just been so blue,” she said.

  “It’s to be expected. I haven’t felt like cutting a rug myself,” he said.

  “I know this has been hard on you too. We both wanted this baby, but we’ll get through it. It’s just going to take some time,” she said. Her words lacked conviction, but she repeated what Sarah had said with the assumption that her friend knew what she was talking about.

  “Well, time is the one thing that I hope that we have plenty of,” Finnie said and smiled at her.

  “Me too. Sarah lost three babies before they had Benjamin. There’s still hope,” she said.

  “As long as I have you, I’ll be fine either way,” Finnie said and leaned over and kissed her – liver breath and all.

  “Do you still want to go ahead and get married or do you want to wait and see if we have a baby?” Mary asked.

  “Of course, I want to marry you. I wanted to marry you before I knew about a baby. I just wasn’t very good at going about it,” Finnie said.

  “I still want to get married too,” Mary said. Knowing that Sarah had resented Ethan had somehow already lessened her resentment of Finnie. She did love him and knew that there really was nobody to blame for the loss of the baby.

  “Finish your meal,” Finnie cajoled.

  Forcing down her last bite of liver, Mary said, “Will you move my tray? I need a nap before Sarah gets back and makes me walk again.”

  After removing the tray, Finnie kissed Mary again. “I’ll see you this evening,” he said before leaving.

  As Finnie walked out of the saloon, he spied Doc and John walking down the street towards him and waited for their arrival.

  “What are you two outlaws up to?” Finnie asked.

  “We had our picture made,” John said enthusiastically.

  “All the better for your wanted poster,” Finnie teased.

  “How is Mary today?” John asked.

  “More like herself. Sarah got her up and walking,” Finnie said.

  Doc let out a chuckle. “Leave it to Sarah to light the fire,” he said. “We’re going to have lunch. Care to join us?”

  “No, I’ve already eaten. I need to get back to the jail. You two are beginning to look like two peas in a pod,” Finnie said.

  The father and son smiled and said nothing before crossing the street to the hotel.

  Gideon sat at his desk as Finnie walked in. The sheriff seemed distracted and barely aware that his deputy had entered the room. He made for poor company lately. The troubles with Paradise and Jack’s death weighed heavily on him. Mary’s sickness had been the final straw in souring his disposition.

  After giving Gideon an update on Mary, Finnie said, “Why don’t you go home early? Get your mind off things for a while. Maybe starting fresh tomorrow will help.”

  Sitting back in his chair, Gideon rubbed his scar before running his hand through his hair. “I think you’re right. I’m not getting anything done here anyway.”

  “I do have some other news. I was having lunch at the saloon and I sat down with that bootmaker, Otis Daniel, and he told me that Pastor Gordon paid him a visit. He said the pastor told them that since the death of his father and his taking over the church that he wanted to get to know more of the citizens of Last Stand and he’d like to come in and talk to him and his wife. They let him in and things were going well until he asked them if they were married in the eyes of the Lord. When they told him that the justice of the peace had married them, the pastor went into a rant about their unholy matrimony. They made him leave,” Finnie said.

  “Really? I guess that helps prove our theory. So, not only are common–law marriages a sin, but so are marriages by the justice of the peace. Next thing you know, only marriages that Gordon officiated will be deemed holy. I think I’ll go home on that note,” Gideon said as he arose from his seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell Mary I expect her to be serving me a beer in short order.”

  With fall well underway, the sun was positioned much farther to the south. Gideon always liked the way that the light hit the trees this time of year, making interesting contrast with the shadows. Most of the trees were now bare of leaves and stood stark against the backdrop of mountains. The air felt cool on the skin and winter would soon be in full force. Fall tended to make him melancholy anyway with its reminder of another year coming to an end. He arrived home feeling as solemn as he had departing from Last Stand.

  “What brings you home so early?” Abby asked as he walked into the cabin.

  “Finnie’s idea. I think I depressed him,” Gideon said as he hung up his hat and sat down at the table.

  “Don’t talk too loudly. Chance is taking his nap. Well, nobody could mistake you for the life of t
he party, that’s for sure. Do you want to talk about it?” Abby said.

  “I don’t know what there’s to talk about. Jack would still be alive if not for me, Mary about died, and I know the people responsible for the hangings but I can’t prove it,” Gideon said.

  “We’ve already talked about Jack. He chose to ride with you and bad things happened. It’s nothing new. He certainly wouldn’t have blamed you and you shouldn’t either. And Mary didn’t die. You should be thankful that she’s alive. It’s sad the baby died, but Mary is getting better by the day. I certainly didn’t think we would be saying that. I thought we would lose her. And you’ll catch the men that did the hangings. You always do. I don’t know why you doubt yourself,” she said.

  “Still doesn’t seem like much to be happy about,” he said.

  Abby sat down in Gideon’s lap. “You know the answer to that. Happiness doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on around you. It’s merely a choice on how to handle those things. Just like when you came back here and decided to make a new life for yourself. Your past didn’t change. Just your way of handling it did.”

  Gideon smiled at his wife. Her wisdom had left him defenseless. “How did I pick somebody as smart as you?” he asked.

  “You didn’t. I picked you when I was about fourteen years old. You’re lucky I’m a patient person,” she said and kissed him.