Love's Guardian

by Dawn Ireland

  Fear, regret, and hope swirled within her until she wasn’t really sure how she felt about leaving. Her plan might work, but if she went forward with the activities this evening, Declan would become a laughing stock when she left. She’d need to leave tonight, before the engagement.

  She crossed to her writing desk, slipped a sheet of parchment from a drawer, then removed the glass stopper from the ink. With short, even strokes, she penned a note to Paddy explaining the situation and asking for his help, preferably tonight.

  As she dusted the missive, she thanked God that her mother had insisted those who wished to learn to read and write on board The Merry Elizabeth be given the opportunity to do so. Paddy had been proud about his ability, and it would stand her in good stead now.

  For once, her maid answered her bell. “Mary, would you have this taken to the captain of The Merry Elizabeth right away?” It was already the middle of the afternoon. If she heard from Paddy in the next couple of hours, she’d be able to go tonight. “Have the messenger wait for a reply and let me know as soon as he returns.”

  “Yes, milady.” Mary bobbed a curtsey and headed for the door.

  “And Mary, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to anyone. It’s concerning a surprise for Lord Worthington.”

  Mary glanced back over her shoulder. “As you wish, milady.” She scurried from the room.

  There, that should keep her maid from spreading any tales until she could leave. The waiting would be the hard part. God willing, The Merry Elizabeth was still in port.

  She didn’t know how much her already taut nerves could take. At the bottom of her wardrobe, she found the shirt and breeches, which had lain unused during her trip to London. They would be useful if she hoped to slip through the dark undetected.

  Concentrating on the details of her departure, she sorted through what money, jewelry, and clothing she should take, then secured them in a bundle and stuck them under the bed. The task kept her from thinking about what she was doing.

  And, whom she would be leaving behind.

  “You’ve done well, Mary.” Luther rubbed his fingers along the soft edge of the parchment as he read Alex’s missive a second time. “You were correct in your assumption I would find this valuable.”

  Mary’s plain features brightened at the praise. “I had no idea wot she wrote, but she seemed right upset. I been watching her after Lady Edwards left, just like you told me to.”

  He studied the pathetic servant in front of him. What made her so desperate for money? Ultimately, he supposed it didn’t matter. Greed was a useful weakness. It always amazed him what a human being would stoop to for the glitter of gold. “Wait a moment.”

  He left her standing at the door as he strode across the shabby carpet, heading for his desk. His mouth narrowed into a thin line as he surveyed his surroundings. They were demeaning for the true Lord of Lochsdale. Threadbare curtains hung at the windows, matching the rest of the furnishings in his solitary room. It was all he could afford.

  At one time The Sage Knight had been a respectable inn. Now it was no longer frequented by Society, their interest caught by grander, newer inns in other parts of London.

  He hated the place. Even his clothes, his beautiful clothes, had come to smell of the stench of the kitchen as odors wafted up the back hall.

  With quill poised, he considered a moment before scribbling a reply to Alex’s note. It was mandatory he get his hands on her tonight, before the Announcement.

  Catrina had obviously done well. Even so, the man he had posted to watch the house after his accomplice’s little visit had been for naught. He’d hoped Alex would run blindly out of Worthington’s home and he could easily take her. Leave it to the bitch to be unpredictable, but this might work to his advantage yet.

  He hoped Alex didn’t know the captain’s writing. In a few brief sentences, he penned instructions to meet by the back gate of the garden at eleven tonight. He crossed to the maid and handed her the folded missive. “Take this back to Lady Lochsdale and make sure you aren’t seen.”

  “Yes, my lord.” Mary continued to stand in the doorway, tugging on the fringe of her tattered shawl. “Beggin’ your pardon my lord, but could you tell me when I might be receivin’ me money?”

  Outrage caused his breath to quicken. When he was lord at Oakleigh Manor, he’d never allow anyone to question him again. He gave her a look he’d used effectively on many a cowering servant, including the women he’d taken to his bed. “I’ve told you. As soon as I wed Lady Lochsdale, you will be amply rewarded. Now go.”

  Mary turned to leave, but he laid a restraining hand on her arm. The soft white of his skin appeared refined compared to the rough wool of the woman’s shawl. Satisfaction swept through him. His was a gentleman’s hand.

  “I would suggest you leave Worthington’s household after you deliver the note. Can you imagine his fury if he finds out you had anything to do with this?”

  Apprehension filled the woman’s eyes, and he smiled. “I see that you do. I’ll be in touch when I have your money. Until then, I suggest you keep out of sight.”

  He watched as the servant disappeared around the corner of the hallway. Her speedy retreat and slightly hunched shoulders were a testament to his control.

  Sauntering down the main hallway, he began to whistle a soft, tuneless song, the notes reverberating in the empty space. Now to find the landlord, so he could provide a messenger. A meeting with Spider in person would be a risk, but it was necessary. Even if Worthington’s men were following him, it didn’t matter. He’d eluded them before.

  Mary’s usefulness was at an end, and he didn’t want anyone able to prove Alex had not come with him of her own free will.

  Spider should be able to take care of Mary in time to help him in the garden. He smirked, remembering Spider’s outrage at Alex’s escape. There was no doubt he’d want to help with her recapture.

  In spite of the very satisfying progress concerning his petition, he didn’t intend to let his little cousin go unpunished for the way she had treated him all these years. As his wife, she’d have many long nights wishing she’d shown some respect.

  The little fool had played right into his hands. He’d intended to use The Merry Elizabeth to make his escape. In fact, that part of his plan had already been put in motion. It’s not as if he were stealing the ship. It already belonged to him, but now his intended bride would go with him.

  Of course, if his petition were granted, there would be no need to make her his bride. He slipped out his snuffbox as he approached the main room of the inn. Raucous laughter filled the air. He inhaled a pinch of white powder, waited for the slight tickle in his nose to subside, then entered the room, attempting to ignore the menial laborers around him.

  A small smile played on his lips when he noted the wary looks from the men at the table closest to him. He returned the thin silver box to his pocket and stared at them. They looked down. These men knew how to respect their betters. Pleased, he rearranged his embroidered turned back cuffs.

  His little cousin had better hope his petition didn’t pass. If that happened, Alex would have to be very nice to him if she wanted to stay alive.

  Chapter 21

  Alex’s grip tightened on her bedroom doorknob when she noted who stood in the doorway. Thank God she’d hidden Paddy’s reply under her mattress. Declan hadn’t been near her room in weeks. Why now?

  Try to act normal. She wanted to throw Catrina’s revelations in his face. But if Declan suspected anything he’d tighten his security and force her to go through with the marriage. Damn stubborn men and their sense of duty.

  “May I come in?” Declan used his index finger to pull at the cloth around his neck.

  Obviously he’d dressed himself again. Richard’s formal cravat was missing, and in its stead Declan had tied a neck-cloth with a slightly crooked knot. She fought the urge to push his hand away and straighten it for him. She’d miss watching for signs of Declan’s ongoing battle with
his valet.

  He studied at her quizzically, and she realized he expected a response. “Oh, of course. Please, come in.” She stepped aside.

  He smelled of outdoors and sandalwood. The smell evoked vivid memories of their one night together. Damn him, she didn’t want to think about that night, especially now.

  Looking around the room, his gaze came to rest on the peach gown she’d tossed on the bed. “Is this for tonight?”

  “Yes.” She crossed to her dressing table, leaving the door open. That way, they weren’t truly alone. Oddly enough, it was her reaction, not her visitor’s, she was worried about.

  “Good, these should compliment the gown.” He pulled a long slim box out of the interior pocket of his coat. The case’s worn brown leather lid opened with a muffled click. He held it out for her to inspect the contents, his face unreadable.

  She drew in a quick breath. Nestled amid the dark green satin lay a double strand of perfectly matched pearls. The gold clasp had been fashioned to represent two winged lions. Their interlocking wings formed the fastening mechanism.

  Part of her knew she should tell him she didn’t want them, but she still reached out and ran her fingertips over their creamy surface. It was an illusion, but they seemed warm to the touch. “They’re beautiful.”

  “Will you wear them tonight?” He removed the pearls from their nest, returned the case to his pocket, and stepped closer to her. “They were my mother’s. She wore them to her engagement ball.” With his free hand, he turned her to face the mirror. “Lift your hair.”

  As if in a trance, she did as she was told. How could she accept gifts from him knowing she wasn’t going to stay? “I really shouldn’t wear them.”

  “Why not?” He fumbled with the clasp, his fingers tracing little circles over the nape of her neck.

  She swallowed. “I, um, wouldn’t want to lose them.”

  “You won’t. Besides, the ball’s here.” Amusement quirked the corners of his mouth. “Or have you forgotten?” The necklace fastened, he began to turn the pearls so the lions would rest in front.

  She wished he wouldn’t touch her. It was hard enough to be indifferent when he stood in the same room. Somehow, she needed to re-establish her anger. She shut her eyes. They could never have a future. Declan was never going to let himself love her.

  The thoughts didn’t make her angry. Instead, she felt empty, as if part of her were missing. She wanted to argue with him, but what could she say? Beg him to love her?

  Two months ago she would have fought, but now she knew drawing her verbal rapier wouldn’t change anything. The hurt he’d suffered at his father’s hands ran too deep. Catrina would always be there, coming between them, giving him somewhere to run when he felt himself getting too close to her.

  No. She couldn’t summon anger, only sorrow at falling in love with a man who refused to return her feelings. With a sigh, she opened her eyes as Declan reached around her to adjust the clasp on her chest.

  Their eyes met in the mirror, and his hand stilled above her breast. The luminous pearls made even her drab practice gown appear elegant. But their glow paled in comparison to the desire turning his eyes a smoldering blue.

  “Magnificent.” His hand trailed upward to caress the pearls, then slipped under them, rubbing the sensitive skin. She gave up trying to feign indifference. She dropped her arms and leaned back into his embrace. He brushed her hair aside, tracing a warm, moist path down her neck with his mouth.

  Making a soft sound in her throat, she turned into his embrace. Just one more kiss. She deserved a good-bye kiss, didn’t she? This stolen moment would be a memory to cherish. It would help her through the bleak years ahead.

  When he claimed her mouth, she tried to respond with all the love she felt. She wanted him to remember this moment, wanted it to be different from all the rest.

  He reacted by drawing her tightly against his body, his desire for her all too apparent. The tips of his fingers massaged up and down her back as he started to move them in the direction of the bed. She knew what he intended, but it no longer mattered. Nothing mattered but the feel of his lips on hers and the heat burning her body wherever he touched.

  She rubbed against him, the tips of her breasts stimulated through the thin material. Aching to get as close as possible, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, then tentatively thrust her tongue into his mouth.

  “Lady Lochsdale, do you think—? Oh.” Lady Anna made a strangled sound.

  Alex tore herself out of Declan’s embrace. How could she have forgotten the open door?

  “I’m sorry.” Lady Anna’s flushed face still showed surprise. She tried to look at anything but them. “I didn’t know. The door was open, so I...”

  Declan seemed to find the whole thing amusing. “It’s fine, Anna. I was reminding Lady Lochsdale what she might expect with me as her husband.”

  Poor Anna appeared even more flustered. Alex shook her head in exasperation. He was entirely too arrogant, yet she couldn’t help smiling to herself. “Actually, Lady Anna, Lord Worthington came to give me a necklace to wear this evening.”

  The mention of the necklace had the desired effect. Anna immediately focused on the pearls she made a point of running between her fingers.

  “I’ve never seen anything like them.” Anna’s eyes filled with curiosity. “Where did they come from? Has Mama seen them?”

  Alex laughed. “They were Declan’s mother’s. I’m sure Lady Bradford has seen them before, but I suspect it’s been a very long time.” She glanced to Declan for confirmation, and he gave a slight nod.

  As she suspected, the necklace was yet another part of his mother’s past he’d unearthed for her. At least she seemed to have helped him make peace with his mother’s memory. Hopefully, that would continue once she was gone.

  She attempted to undo the pearls. “Here, help me get them off. You take them to show your mother.”

  Anna rushed over, and between the two of them, they managed to open the intricate clasp. She didn’t dare let Declan help. Her body still pulsed from their brief interlude.

  “I’ll bring them right back.” Anna bolted from the room, making sure to shut the door firmly behind her.

  No sooner had Anna left, then Declan started toward her. Alex held up a hand to keep him at bay. “I think you’d better go. I need to get ready for tonight.”

  He stopped and gave a slight bow. A devilish light played in his eyes, reminding her of a little boy with a secret. “As you wish. But it’s only a reprieve.” He headed for the door, but turned before passing through. “Alex, you will hold to our agreement, won’t you?”

  She swallowed, sweat breaking out on her palms. Did he know about her plans? Was he toying with her? “Why do you ask?”

  A slight frown marred his features. “I want to make sure you still intend to marry me, no matter when it happens.”

  Now it was her turn to frown. What did he mean by when it happens? “I thought this marriage was a matter of necessity.”

  “It is.” He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. “Just remember that.”

  There were guards at every door. Alex wanted to stamp her foot, but in these flimsy slippers and the way her luck was running tonight, she’d probably hurt herself. Why did Declan have every entrance watched? Luther wouldn’t dare show his face tonight. All these precautions were going to make her escape much more difficult.

  Scanning the crowd for Declan, she readily found his standard black and white evening attire amid the myriad colors in the ballroom. He stood with Morgan and Adrian, their heads together in earnest debate. Good, whatever occupied him this evening meant he had less time for her. She’d seen him briefly before he’d been whisked away by Williams with some last minute details. Hopefully, she’d avoid him all together before she left.

  “Are you enjoying yourself, Lady Lochsdale?” Lady Bradford opened her ostrich feather fan and waved it back and forth with languid strokes.

  “Yes
.” She didn’t have time for polite conversation. She needed to consider another escape route, and time was running out. But, she couldn’t be rude. Not after everything Lady Bradford had done for her. “Thank you for helping organize tonight. I hadn’t expected so many of the Ton to attend.”

  Lady Bradford glanced around the crowded ballroom, an impish smile on her lips. “Gauging from the glum looks on several matron’s faces, word must be out about your engagement.”

  That explained the cold glances she’d been getting from some of the older women. She wished she could tell them there wasn’t going to be an engagement, but unless she came up with another way out of the house, she’d have no choice.

  “When do you think Declan will want to make the announcement?” She tapped her lace fan against her fingers with rapid little movements, her foot mimicking the rhythm.

  “I overheard him ask the orchestra to play something special at midnight.” Lady Bradford gave her a warm smile and patted her arm. “I’m so glad you’ll be joining our family. I know your relationship with Declan hasn’t always been easy, but you’ll see, it will all work out.”

  “I’m sure it will.” She squirmed with guilt. She would miss Lady Bradford and Anna. Strange as it seemed, she’d actually begun to feel she could fit in here, but that had been before her visit with Catrina. “If you’ll excuse me, the heat is unbearable tonight. I think I’ll get some air.”

  Escaping Lady Bradford with an apologetic smile, she made her way through the crush of people, her oversized panniers hindering her progress.

  Thank God Paddy’s note said to meet him at eleven. Now Declan would be saved the embarrassment of explaining why his betrothed had left him.

  Even without the engagement, she knew he would still try to find her. Shuddering at the consequences should he succeed, she tried to picture him in a rage. It wasn’t something she would want to witness, especially if it were aimed at her. Her best defense was not to get caught.