Where We Stand

by Angela White

  “Can I carry something for you?”

  Jennifer slowly put the baby into Kyle’s arms, sure that’s what he really wanted. They might not be saying much to each other, but Kyle and her child were already bonded.

  “The cord fell off this morning.”

  Kyle grinned, but it didn’t light his face with happiness the way she’d come to expect.

  “You save it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  It was like this with them now–closed off and remote. Kyle longed for their bond back, but wasn’t sure what to do. He’d betrayed her. He had no right to expect forgiveness or another chance. He wouldn’t ask for either.

  Jennifer caught the thought and snapped her mouth closed on the words that wanted to fly out. She’d considered Conner’s point for hours after he left and it had been in her mind since, but she hadn’t pulled it out for an in-depth examination. She was scared to find out if he’d hurt her too badly. She’d told him she wouldn’t ever be able to let that go. And I was right… wasn’t I?

  Kyle let the love for the baby fill his heart in place of its mother. How would he ever let either of them go?

  Jennifer tensed like she’d picked that up and Kyle gently gave her the baby. “I gave you my word.”

  “That means nothing,” Jennifer retorted lowly. “I don’t trust you.”

  Kyle’s heart broke again and he turned away from her before he could fall to his knees and beg. She was right to suspect him. She should have all along. He was unfit for love, for compassion or mercy. He didn’t offer those things to his enemies and he didn’t deserve them either.

  Jennifer didn’t want to feel his pain, but that was impossible. The waves of loneliness were the worst. She hated it when he isolated himself. He’d been doing that his whole life, closing off the emotions, and Jennifer suddenly couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to get through his hard shell and find out what was underneath.

  “I’m leaving as soon as Brady gets back.”

  Kyle froze, his shoulders becoming two stiff rocks that could have any reaction. When he turned around, Jennifer gasped at the agony on his face.

  “I won’t hold you.”

  The silent words were full of pain that Jennifer had little resistance to. She climbed behind the wheel before she could ask him to come along.

  Kyle slowly forced his feet away from her, feeling like he had nothing to live.

  “She needs something from you.”

  Kyle looked over to discover that Conner had been listening. “What?”

  Conner shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I’d ask her about it before Brady shows up.”

  Their radios crackled with Angela’s hard voice, “Throw the scraps to the ants and load up. It’s time to roll.”

  4

  “I’d like you to go with the next water team.”

  Samantha waved Angela inside the tent, a bit surprised. They’d only been camped for an hour. After Grenada Lake, the Holly Springs forest was almost like a cool balm on a sunburn. The Eagles liked the thin, tall trees and the camp was enjoying the trails and activities. They were spread out a bit wider than the Eagles would have liked, but people with their own small fire in front of their tent had grown. That required room.

  “Leave?”

  “Neil’s full team will be your protection. I’m sending another level for protection on the water crew.”

  “And what do you need me to do that I’ve got an entire team of killers at my disposal?”

  Angela’s eyes blazed for a second, revealing her worry. “Look, listen. Find out what’s coming next.”

  Samantha’s heart thumped. She’d thought the tension was from everything they had going on, but apparently, she’d been wrong. “You felt something.”

  “Yes. It was dark, deep. Try to get a read for us.”

  “I’ll get my kit together now.”

  “Neil will come grab you when they’re set to roll out. Should be around dawn.”

  “Is there anything else you’d like me to do before we go?”

  Angela considered. “Yes, there is. Go play with the kids. They’ve never seen dust whirls like you’ve been making.”

  Samantha understood what Angela was trying to do, but the weight of the duty was scary. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. When the kids accept us again, so does everyone else.”

  Samantha began gathering her gear and Angela went to the next area. A leader’s job was hectic on the best days and she hadn’t had many of those yet. What if one of the supply teams ran into trouble? What if she got them killed?

  Angela sighed. If it happened, there was little she could do to stop it now. They had to have the fuel and water, but they also needed Samantha’s attention on whatever was headed their way. Personal safety had to come behind camp survival. All of them had known that when they’d signed on.

  5

  “Is it normal? The way your hair is changing color?”

  Angela was too tired to lie. “Yes. Overuse is rough on us.”

  Kyle glanced over to where Jennifer was leaving last minute instructions for the baby before her lesson with Angela’s team.

  “Will it happen to her?”

  “Yes, and sooner rather than later, I’d guess. She’s full of fire, but it’s being fueled by her pain. If she doesn’t use another source, she could literally eat herself alive.”

  Kyle turned to stare at Angela’s cleverly hidden streaks of gray. “Am I enough?”

  Angela understood he meant that in several ways and chose to answer the easiest. “Your emotions are too bottled up to allow a reserve. If she pulls from multiple…”

  Angela sighed at the instant, impotent anger that hit her. “Marc feels the same. I try… tried to do it when he wasn’t around.”

  They both thought of her moment with Adrian on the road a while back, but neither mentioned it.

  “And in the other way?”

  She hated to hurt him, but he had to know how to help. Jennifer wasn’t grieving or releasing anything and that was dangerous.

  “Only someone of the same kind can truly handle us the way you mean.”

  “Soul mates and that bs.”

  “I don’t have any evidence of that,” Angela hedged curtly. “All people need that someone who matches them, but the descendants, we match with everyone.”

  “Purposely.”

  “Yes. We were made to help, but also to repopulate, to replace some of the talents that were lost to the War. Some will have multiple mates, many will have one. It depends on the bond.”

  “And fate?”

  “Yes” Angela’s eyes went to the medical tent against her will. “Through our lives, we’ll be attracted to dozens of people. It’s up to us and the strength of the draw, if it goes any further.”

  “And if a group of you and a group of us are together, you’d pick your mates from your own kind, right? To be fulfilled?”

  Angela sighed, forced to face the truth. “Yes, and no. We populate, as well as draw and build. Part of our duty is to spread our DNA, to mix with human and create the next generation. Without them, the world won’t recover. Adrian brought us together, but to spread his light over an entire planet will take children–ours.”

  “You didn’t answer the question.”

  “She means that very few of us will refuse to spread ourselves among you, even if we don’t particularly care for that impersonal fit. We can’t. It’s part of why we’re here.”

  Adrian kept going instead of joining the conversation like he wanted to.

  Kyle continued to torture himself. “Who should she draw from?”

  “Whomever she wants. You don’t get to pick.”

  Kyle barely felt the scold. “Who in camp would help her get back to normal?”

  The Witch, tired and lonely, snapped out mercilessly. “Anyone but you. Back off.”

  “What if I can’t?” he questioned, voice a rough whisper.

  The Witch refused to play games. “
She’ll run. She’s already considering it. Being here is hurting her.”

  Those words beat in his brain. Of course! Safe Haven was a constant reminder.

  “Kyle?”

  He didn’t answer Angela’s resigned call.

  She watched him walk away. Adrian had been right. Where Jennifer went, so did Kyle. The only hope they had of her staying was the anger from the way her infant had died. She would want revenge and Angela planned to feed that. By the time the battle came, Jennifer would have hardened a bit and might consider staying.

  “It’s up to fate, now,” Angela muttered, picking out her guards. “And Brady.”

  6

  “Are you ever going to tell me? I can’t let this go until you do.”

  “No.”

  “Stop being an ass, mom. He’s better than dad ever was.”

  Peggy and Doug both stared at Becky in surprise.

  The teenager didn’t take it back. “Dad didn’t want her to work. He called her a lot and distracted her intentionally. I’ve always thought it was his fault, not yours.”

  Peggy’s tears were hard to look at, but even harder to feel. She pushed herself up and started to fade into the shadows, wishing Anne were here to talk to.

  “Wait.”

  Doug’s command halted Peggy’s retreat. She didn’t turn around.

  “Do you want to work in the medical areas here or would you rather stay a den mother?”

  “She wants both, and a little more,” Becky supplied, standing up. “I’ll let you guys have a few minutes alone.”

  Doug stayed where he was, willing her to turn around. When she did, he viewed her with curiosity. “What’s the little more?”

  Peggy flushed and Doug understood. “Me?”

  “Don’t sound that way!” Peggy snapped. “You’re a good man.”

  Doug grinned. “I’m not a little anything, Darlin’. You know that.”

  Peggy evaluated his big frame with a heat that sent shock into Doug. She wants me!

  Peggy left him standing there. Doug would make his own choices. She wasn’t going to brow-beat him or explain away the awful thing she’d done. If he couldn’t accept her without the details, then that was that.

  7

  “How are you handling things?”

  Charlie paused in the daily shovel-out he and the other teens were doing in the livestock trucks. He was the last one here. He’d sent the others on to have some time alone to think.

  “I feel bad that I didn’t try harder to warn my mom, but that voice inside says it was for the best.”

  Conner understood how guilt and reality often slammed into each other in a person’s mind. “Anything I can do?”

  Charlie started to say no, then agreed. “We used to bunk together, spend those bad hours bullshitting or drinking. I don’t do that part anymore, but if there was someone else in the tent, maybe…”

  “The voices would be quieter?” Conner supplied.

  “Exactly.”

  “You sure you want me as a bunkie? The camp still isn’t sure if I’m an assassin.”

  Charlie’s tone was pointed. “That’s what you get in return for all the talking I’ll do.”

  Conner chuckled. “I’ll clear it with my dad.”

  “You don’t need to.”

  Both boys turned to find Adrian in the shadows.

  “She already said it was a good idea, for me to handle it when you two were ready.”

  Both boys were happy and Adrian left them to plan it out, grateful. He hadn’t been sure if the darkness festering in Conner might remind Charlie of Matt too much to allow those bonds to form.

  “Angie knew better, though,” Adrian murmured. “She knew Charlie would take this moment to make up for Matt and ease his own guilt.”

  Absolutely perfect and he couldn’t have been more satisfied with the choice he’d made to place her in control of it all. No one else would have gotten close to this following his notes, and she wasn’t even doing that any longer. She’d made it through all of his books, gotten it rolling, and was running on instinct now.

  “Damn you,” he swore, cursing fate.

  All around him, destiny laughed callously at his pain.

  8

  “Damn it!”

  Angela slung the bag to the ground, pissed. “You can’t keep doing that!”

  Late afternoon found Safe Haven a few miles further down their long road, camped, with classes in full swing.

  Kenn started to handle it, but Tonya waved him off. Angela had been right when she’d said the men didn’t know what she was planning. Crista had to do this right or they were all dead.

  “I’m sorry! I can’t keep it straight.”

  Angela jerked a hand at Kenn. “He’s as much as rookie at following my lead as you are, but he’ll get it right. When we’re done, someone, anyone, tell her why he can do it and she can’t.”

  Angela turned her back to Kenn, not the least bit afraid of him anymore, but nearby Eagles still tensed when he neared her. Old habits were hard to break, but there was still a closed-off aura around Kenn that made them leery.

  The other females took their places and the busy areas around them slowed a bit as the routine restarted. Angela working her team was fascinating to most of them. For the men, it was a turn-on, but also a lesson in resect. They liked knowing that the women would work as hard as they did.

  Kenn fired the paintball gun at Angela first, as an enemy would, and Becky was there to deflect it with her shield. A bit awkwardly, the teenager used the momentum to spin around and provide cover for the person next to her to reload.

  Jennifer slammed a mag in place and fired a round at Kenn as Becky reloaded.

  Kenn ducked the shot easily, returning fire. He hit Jennifer in the chest, drawing a scowl from the man walking by.

  Jennifer swore, taking herself down. As she fell, she tossed a paint-balloon that represented the grenade she would use during the battle.

  Kenn jumped aside, but was unable to avoid the pink splatter. He turned to the right and let his own grenade fly. It coated two of her team, removing them.

  Kenn saw only his arm and side was hit, and decided he should be able to keep fighting until he bled out. He shoved to his feet and opened fire again.

  Angela ducked the blast, waving Tracy and Samantha forward.

  Both females fired together and rolled to avoid the incoming. It was nicely timed and obvious that the women had spent time practicing it on their own.

  As the routine finished, a few people around cheered, but Angela didn’t let her girls join them. “Don’t celebrate until we get it right as a team.” She wiped the sweat from her cheek. “Someone tell her why she isn’t remembering which way to turn.”

  Samantha spoke up, hoping to get it over with quickly. “She hasn’t been practicing. When she does, it’ll become almost automatic.”

  “Yes. If you don’t show signs of improvement, you’re off my team.”

  Angela left them standing there, exchanging nervous, unhappy looks. She was hoping Crista would pick up on her own, but they also needed to help their weaker members shore themselves up and these training lessons would accomplish that if they could bond. She’d given them a way to do that. It was up to Crista to make good on it. Right now, everyone understood she wasn’t pulling her weight.

  Kyle paused to listen when he saw who took up a hard stance in front of Crista.

  “What’s the deal?” Jennifer demanded, breathing roughly. “You saw her plan. What gives?”

  Crista flushed. “I didn’t put in enough hours on it.”

  “Should we get rid of you now?” Jennifer followed up angrily. “The rest of us sweated our asses off last night, working together after Mess. Where were you?”

  Crista flushed darker. “Out.”

  “Uh-huh.” Jennifer looked around the team. “Vote now. Stay or go?”

  “Go.”

  “Go.”

  “Go.”

  Only Cynthia said different and
even her voice was reluctant. “Stay, if she’ll start working.”

  “Looks like you’re off the team. Turn in your gear and go get a camp member job from Zack,” Jennifer sneered arrogantly.

  Crista couldn’t do that. She wanted this.

  “You can’t get rid of me!”

  Her shout had the team stopping, turning around.

  “And why not?” Jennifer asked, raising her goggles to reveal glowing orbs. “We don’t need you if you won’t work. There are a lot of women here who want these slots.”

  “I will work on it. I’ll put my other… activities on hold.”

  Jennifer wasn’t convinced, but that didn’t matter. Angela was annoyed and that did.

  “You’d better,” Jennifer warned, sounding exactly like she should for the position she’d been gifted with. “As your team members, this is the only warning we’ll give you.”

  9

  Angela stomped through the perimeter shadows, trying to decide if she needed to reorder her team. Adrian had told her a while ago that the first set of names likely wouldn’t all stay. It was the nature of the job, but Angela need each of these women for her plan. Crista might not have been working on it very much, but her aim was still spot-on.

  “Maybe a break,” she mused, rounding the corner of the vet area.

  Whoosh!

  “I can give that to you, Angela White.”

  The dart hit her in the neck and brought her to her knees before the latest assassin.

  Angela sent out a weak call for help, but it was too late.

  “That was my brother you hurt in Little Rock,” the child sneered coldly. “That you killed.”

  Angela couldn’t answer, couldn’t use her gifts, her body. The drugs felt the same as what the Major had used in that doomed city and Angela slumped to the ground.

  The child was ten at most, with bright, blue eyes full of malice. “They said to do the same to you, but I need to hear the screams first.”

  The boy came forward eagerly with his knife out and Angela felt the drugs overwhelm her.

  You’re not gonna get it, she thought, surrendering to the grayness.

  “Quick! Pick her up!”

  The two children struggled to move her body on their own without alerting anyone. All they had to do was hide her and keep her drugged. The men that were on the way would do the rest, but Clifford couldn’t stop the need to make her pay. He sliced at random as the others dragged her under the tree cover and out of the perimeter.