The Sins of the Mother

by Danielle Steel

  “Now don’t stay up all night. You don’t want to be exhausted tomorrow. You can sleep in, in the morning, but we’re going to leave at lunchtime, as soon as Liz and the girls get here. We’ll stop somewhere to swim and have lunch on the way to Portofino.”

  “I want to try the banana thing with the girls. I saw that in a movie once, and it was really funny. Everyone kept falling off.”

  “I don’t think I’ll volunteer for that one,” Olivia said, laughing with him, and a few minutes later, after hugging and kissing him again, Olivia left him in his cabin. He was already turning on the TV, to put in a movie, and she walked back to her own cabin with a happy smile. This was the perfect trip and boat for them, especially for Alex, who loved water sports so much. She didn’t know why, but she thought he looked worried while she was talking to him, or lonely. Something felt off to her, or maybe she had imagined it, and he was just nervous about applying to college. She felt sorry for him. Kids today had so much pressure to deal with. She had never talked to him about it, but she wondered if one day he would want to come into the business. At seventeen, it was too soon for him to know, and for her to ask. Sophie, on the other hand, at twenty-three, was dying to come to work for her, and had talked about it since she was a child. And Olivia was excited to have that happen. Her dream was that one day all of her grandchildren would work there, but she knew Carole never would. She wanted either to be an artist, or to work for her father and stepmother in film production. She had no interest whatsoever in business, unlike her sister, Sophie. And Alex was too young to know. She felt fortunate as it was to have her sons in the business. She and Joe had always wanted that to happen, and it had. She was happy that he had seen their dream come true before he died. Both boys had already been working for them when their father passed away. It had made them even more responsible at an early age, and she counted on them a great deal now, even though she still ran the show, and hoped to for a long time. But the three of them worked well together. It had brought them closer to her now as adults. They had The Factory in common.

  When Olivia got back to her cabin, and went to bed, she lay thinking about her children and grandchildren for a long time. She was looking forward to spending time with them, and pleased that they had this fabulous vacation to look forward to.

  In the morning, Olivia went on deck. Amanda was already presiding at the breakfast table. She was wearing pale blue silk shorts with a matching blouse, and a very pretty pale blue hat to match. Olivia was wearing white cotton slacks and a starched white blouse, her white hair was impeccably done, and she had had a manicure in the salon on the boat the day before. Amanda looked ready for anything. Sarah looked sleepy and disheveled when she came up. She said she had slept like a baby, and all three of the men in the family were still asleep. Olivia suspected that Alex had stayed up late watching movies in his room.

  “I thought you might like to go shopping this morning,” Olivia said pleasantly to Amanda. “The stores are pretty fabulous in Monte Carlo. Liz won’t be here till about one o’clock, we’ll leave then, so you have all morning.”

  “I’d love it.” Amanda beamed from ear to ear.

  “I think I’ll stay here. I have some reading I want to do,” Sarah said quietly, which was no surprise either. Sarah had no interest in shopping, and it showed.

  “Maybe you’d like a massage in the spa,” Olivia suggested. She was an excellent cruise director, and her whole goal was for each of them to have fun, in the way they wanted to. There were no forced activities here. She wanted it to be paradise for them, not boot camp.

  “Maybe I will,” Sarah said with a dreamy look, as she ordered an omelet for breakfast. There was something sinfully luxurious about being waited on hand and foot. She felt guilty about it, and had been genuinely upset by the first-class air tickets Olivia had bought for them, but sooner or later the pampering was very seductive. Olivia was enjoying it herself, although she rarely took time for self-indulgence in real life. But this was sheer heaven, even for her.

  Olivia organized a driver and crew member to take Amanda shopping, and half an hour later both of her sons appeared, looking sleepy and relaxed. They were already talking about fishing, as they ordered eggs Benedict, and the steward handed each of them a copy of the Herald Tribune. Amanda was just leaving. Gold sandals and a gold beach bag had appeared to complete her outfit, and she was wearing small diamond earrings. She looked absolutely perfect leaving the yacht.

  Alex was the last to join them, and admitted that he had watched two movies back to back and fallen asleep at five A.M. before the second one was over, but he was in good spirits. He could hardly wait for his cousins to arrive, and he and Olivia played gin rummy after breakfast. He beat her fair and square three times.

  When Amanda came back from her shopping trip, she was carrying four shopping bags and wore a blissful expression. Phillip was waiting for her on deck, since John and Sarah had gone back to their room for a nap after breakfast. No one ever commented on their frequent disappearances, although Olivia always found them secretly amusing. Alex had glanced at her for a moment when they left, and said nothing. And Phillip was happy to see his wife—he’d been bored without her.

  As they sat chatting, a car pulled up with a luggage van following it. And out stepped three spectacular-looking young women, as Alex gave a whoop of delight. It was Liz, Sophie, and Carole. The girls looked pretty and fresh, and as Liz joined them on deck, she was laughing. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she looked as though someone had been murdered in her lap.

  “What happened to you?” Olivia looked at her in amazement and then kissed her. She was happy to see her.

  “We hit turbulence and I spilled my Bloody Mary.” Amanda looked at her with obvious disapproval, and Olivia laughed. The mishap was so typical of her daughter. As a child, she always had something spilled all over her, and if anyone knocked over a glass at dinner, it was Liz. She was absentminded and clumsy, but lovable nonetheless.

  “This is some boat, Mom!” Liz said, looking at the extraordinary elegance all around them.

  “They have wristbands for you to wear, so you don’t get seasick,” her mother told her. “Apparently, they’re very effective. I asked them.” And with that, a stewardess handed some to Liz, and offered them to the others. No one else wanted them, but Liz put them on. “Why don’t you let them show you and the girls to your cabins, and then you can come back on deck? We’re going to leave in a few minutes. We’re going to have lunch somewhere where we can swim.” Olivia had worked it all out with the captain that morning. And a few minutes later Liz and the girls went downstairs. Alex offered to show them around. Olivia could hear the motor come on, and the deckhands were untying the ropes from the dock, and adjusting the fenders. Everyone was busy, as John and Sarah came back on deck, looking relaxed, with an arm around each other.

  As they pulled out of port, everyone was on deck. Liz had changed her shorts and put a clean pair on, with a white T-shirt. The girls were talking excitedly with Alex, who was telling them about the inflatable banana they could ride on, and Amanda was telling Phillip how great the shops in Monaco were, and about the pretty things she’d bought. Olivia listened to the chatter all around her, and smiled to herself. This was precisely what she had wanted. They were all having a good time.

  The captain gave them a brief safety demonstration in case of fire, or “man overboard.” He told them where the life jackets were in their cabins, and where the lifeboats were. And after that, they were ready to leave.

  They all went to sit on the sundeck at the bow of the boat as the Lady Luck slipped gracefully out of port and headed toward Italy. They cruised for an hour, then they stopped and set anchor. The crew took the water toys out so anyone who wanted to could swim. And Olivia quietly reminded her grandson of his promise.

  “Don’t forget my ride with you on the jet ski,” she said in a whisper, and he giggled like a little kid.

  “Of course not, Grandma.”

  Oli
via went below to put on a bathing suit, and by the time she came back, the toys were ready, and there were crew members standing by in tenders to help them, or follow them on the jet skis. Someone had put on music, and her granddaughters were wearing the bottoms of their bikinis and nothing else and seemed completely unconcerned. Liz was wearing the top of hers, and her body looked spectacular as she dove into the water, and moments later everyone else followed suit. And by then Alex was sitting firmly astride the jet ski and held out a hand to his grandmother. She got on behind him with ease, as both her sons looked at her in horror. By then Liz and the girls were swimming toward a narrow beach, Sarah was sitting on the platform behind the boat, dangling her feet, and Amanda was debating about whether to get in.

  “What are you doing?” Phillip called to his mother, as Alex started the engine of the jet ski.

  “Taking a ride with Alex,” Olivia said with a broad grin as they took off at full speed, with a tender and a crew member following them. They kept a close watch on charter guests to make sure no one got hurt, and Alex had had to show a jet ski license to use the jet ski. Fortunately, he had had one since he was sixteen. He flew through the water with his grandmother behind him, holding tightly with her arms around his waist. She was loving every minute of it, and so was he, as Phillip and John looked at each other and shook their heads.

  “If anyone had told me I’d see that one day, I wouldn’t have believed it. Why didn’t she do things like that with us when we were kids?” Phillip sounded wistful as he said it. This was not the mother he knew and remembered. This was someone else entirely.

  “She was too busy,” John said simply, and then he went to convince Sarah to get in the water with him, while she took photographs of the scene. She and John were the family photographers, and the results were terrific. It was always fun looking at the pictures after the trip. She was a little overwhelmed by his family at first. They were a fairly overpowering group and this was a far cry from their familiar life in Princeton. But she was happy to see Alex having so much fun. And it helped her relax to take photographs of everyone. They were all in a great mood.

  When Liz and the girls swam back from the beach, the three young people tried riding on the banana, pulled by one of the tenders, and they all fell off immediately, amid squeals of delighted laughter. The adults watched them from the deck, laughing too. It looked like fun to all of them. The three kids had all the exuberance and resilience of youth.

  “We ought to try that sometime,” John said to his older brother, who grinned.

  Amanda commented instantly, “Don’t count on me.” She had already changed to a dry bathing suit, and an enormous pink hat to shield her from the sun. Olivia was delighted by her ride on the jet ski, and Alex had promised to take her on it again.

  They all had an enormous lunch, after which the crew pulled up anchor and they took off again, this time to head straight for Portofino. The plan was to arrive in time for dinner and go to a restaurant in the port. And they’d been told the shops would be open till midnight. There was something for all of them to look forward to.

  As the Lady Luck cruised toward Italy at full speed, John and Sarah played Scrabble, the rest of them read or slept, and the kids went to watch a movie in the theater. Amanda decided to have a manicure, as Olivia had suggested, and they all looked happy and at ease. And after they played Scrabble, John did a few quick pencil sketches of Sarah’s face. He always returned with several sketchbooks full after their summer trips.

  It was eight-thirty at night when they got to Portofino, and the crew tied up the enormous boat to the rocks, and dropped anchor. The tiny little port town was sparkling at them, and they all went to dress and get ready for dinner. They had a dinner reservation at nine-thirty at a restaurant the captain assured them was excellent.

  They reassembled on the deck half an hour later, nibbled delicious hors d’oeuvres, and could hardly wait to get ashore and explore Portofino. A large tender took them in, and only a few minutes later they reached the dock, and three crew members accompanied them to the restaurant.

  “I feel like visiting royalty,” Olivia giggled, and each of her granddaughters put an arm around her waist as they walked along. Alex walked along beside them, and Olivia’s three children followed at a distance, watching her with her grandchildren, and talking among themselves.

  “Sometimes I wonder if we even know who she is. She’s so different than she used to be … with them …,” Phillip said as he watched his mother with her grandchildren. She was laughing and talking, and she looked happy and relaxed. He had no memories of her looking that way in his youth.

  “I think she really enjoys the kids,” Liz said kindly. She was happy to see her daughters having fun with their grandmother. Her own relationship with her grandmother had always been so important to her—she was glad to see that her daughters could share something like that too.

  “Why?” Phillip said, looking sour for a minute. “She never enjoyed us.”

  “She probably did, it was just different. She was younger, so were we. It’s easier when they’re not your kids,” Liz answered.

  “Maybe,” Phillip conceded, but he looked unconvinced. This was not the mother he had known. This was someone entirely different, riding on jet skis, laughing and playing. He couldn’t recall a single instance of seeing her this way when he was a boy. Although she’d been around more when they were younger, as they got older, she had been either tired, busy, or away. All he remembered was his own grandmother, and his father, and a mother he now realized he had never known. He had felt cheated all his life, and seeing her this way made him feel more so. If she had had this to give, why hadn’t she given it to them?

  Only Liz seemed to realize that maybe she had been different then, and more pressured by what she was trying to build. Liz recognized too that maybe some part of her had grown in the meantime. Too late for them, but not too late for her grandchildren at least. And as far as Liz was concerned, Granibelle had given them all the mothering they needed. But Phillip had wanted it from his own mother, and still resented her for what she hadn’t been able to give, or hadn’t had time to.

  “I think she’s mellowing as she gets older,” John added, and Phillip shook his head again.

  “I haven’t seen that in the office.”

  But at least they were seeing it now. That was something.

  They looked into the shops briefly, and Amanda wandered into a shoe store, and then Hermès, and then they all went to dinner, at a small friendly restaurant, with strolling guitarists serenading the guests. They were given a table on the terrace, and took their places randomly. The grandchildren seated themselves around Olivia, and she chatted animatedly with them until they ordered dinner. The pasta was delicious, and it was after midnight when they stopped for a gelato and wandered back to the dock, where the tender was waiting for them. The castle and the church were lit up high on twin hills, just as Olivia had remembered, and a few minutes later they were taken back to the boat. As soon as they reached it, they saw that the crew had set out hundreds of floating candles on the water. They looked like they were floating in chrysanthemums, and they had done it so that they could swim at night. The young people squealed with delight as soon as they saw it, and went to their cabins to change, and the adults waited on deck. It was a beautiful sight, and Phillip and John ordered cognac, while Amanda and Sarah drank champagne. Liz had gone below to change with her girls. And Olivia settled happily in a chair to watch the action.

  As soon as the kids appeared, they dove into the water off the loading deck, and swam between the candles in the warm water. Liz was in the water with them, looking like a kid herself, and for an instant Olivia was tempted to join them. Being with them was like drinking from the fountain of youth. She hadn’t had this much fun in years. And the two couples sat happily on deck nearby, chatting quietly and enjoying the romantic scene. They could still see the church and the castle in the distance, and the candles on the water were magical.
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  Sarah and John were the first to go below to their cabin, even before the young people came out of the water, and Phillip and Amanda followed a few minutes later. And when Liz and the kids came out of the water, Olivia was waiting for them.

  “That was so much fun,” Liz said, breathless.

  “It looked like it,” her mother said, smiling at her, and a moment later all the kids were around them, dripping water on the deck. They had decided to change and watch a movie. Their time together was one long party. Olivia loved being on the fringes of it, and so did Liz.

  “Are you tired, Mom?” she asked her. It had been a long day for all of them, and she and her girls had only arrived that morning. The others had benefited from a good night’s sleep.

  “Not in the least,” Olivia said, looking relaxed. “I think I’ll go to bed now, though,” she said as she stood up. She’d had a wonderful day with her children and grandchildren. It was the whole purpose of the trip, and their first day together had certainly been a great success. She hoped the rest of the vacation would be too. Even Sarah had finally relaxed, and been lively and outspoken at dinner, and more like herself. The only one who never really changed or warmed up was Amanda, but they were all used to that, year after year. “Are you going to watch the movie with the kids?” Olivia asked Liz.

  “No, I think I’ll work on my—” She stopped herself before she said “book,” and looked panicked as she glanced at her mother. She didn’t want to tell her about it. What was the point? What if, like everything else she’d ever done, it was no good? “Work on my beauty sleep,” she filled in. “The kids stay up way too late for me.”

  “Me too,” Olivia said as they walked down to their cabins together. Olivia gently kissed her cheek, and wondered what she was really working on. She knew her older daughter better than that. She was sure she did not intend to work on her beauty sleep. She wondered if Liz was working on a new book. But she was wise enough not to ask questions. She kissed her goodnight, and walked on to her own cabin, pleased at how well everything had gone. It had been a very good first day indeed.