The Sins of the Mother

by Danielle Steel

  She and Peter had exchanged gifts with each other on Christmas morning. She had bought him some sweaters she knew he needed, and a beautiful Patek Philippe watch. He loved it and put it on as soon as he opened it. And then she opened the box from him. It took her breath away when she saw it. It was a beautiful sapphire ring from Tiffany, and he slipped it on her finger.

  “It’s not an engagement ring,” he said carefully, “unless you want it to be. It’s a living together ring for now, but any time you change your mind, I’ll say a magic word over it, and presto magic, instantly it will become an engagement ring.” He kissed her, and she smiled.

  “I love it.” She thought of the ring Ansel had given her mother that she had worn ever after and that was in Olivia’s jewelry box now. “I’ll never take it off.” She admired it all day, every time she saw it on her finger. It was gorgeous and meant the world to her.

  Phillip had also bought Taylor a ring, and gave it to her in St. Bart’s. He had sneaked it down with him, in his pocket, and put it on her finger on Christmas morning. In their case, it was an engagement ring, and Taylor was stunned when she saw it. It looked like a headlight. He slipped it on her finger and asked her to marry him. She accepted, and would have even without the ring. They were now officially engaged, and he called his mother and told her. She congratulated them, and Phillip said he hoped the wedding would be next Christmas, after the divorce.

  And in London, Danny had had a tiny red electric guitar made for their baby. It was adorable and actually worked. Cass laughed when she saw it and hung it in the nursery. And she told Danny it was exactly what she had wanted. He was thrilled, and said he thought so.

  They all had a wonderful Christmas in their various locations.

  And after Christmas, John had a surprise for his mother. It wasn’t one she had wanted, and it came as a shock to her initially. He and Sarah had been discussing it for months. He walked into her office, with a nervous expression.

  “How was Stowe?”

  “It was fantastic. Mom, I have something to tell you,” he said, as he looked across the desk at her. He had told no one yet, except Sarah, not even Phillip. He wanted to tell his mother first. “I’m leaving,” he said, with a sad expression. He didn’t want to let her down. But he had realized that he had to follow the path that was right for him, and The Factory had never been it. It was her dream, and one day Phillip’s, and his son’s, but it had never been his. He had gone to work for her to please her and his father and because it was expected of him. Now that was no longer enough. He had realized it during his counseling sessions about Alex. His son was true to himself and had set them all a good example. Now he had to be too. “I want to paint full time.”

  She was quiet for a long moment, thinking about it as she looked at him, and then she nodded. She had learned that lesson too, that you had to follow the path that was right for you. She tried to think of what Maribelle would have said, in all her wisdom, and listened to her mother’s voice in her head.

  “I respect what you’re doing, and I want you to be happy,” she said, smiling at him, and he got up and hugged her with a look of relief.

  “You’re not angry?”

  “How could I be? You’ve worked here for eighteen years. You’ve done your bit. If you want to be an artist, you should be. Just give me time to find someone who can take over creative and design, and then you’re free.”

  “Of course,” he said reasonably. “I already have some ideas.” He’d been thinking about it for weeks.

  “Have you told Phillip?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to tell you first. Only Sarah knows, not even Alex.”

  “Thank you,” she said gratefully, “for everything you’ve done.” She walked him out of her office and then went back and sat down, thinking about it. It would be sad losing him at work, but he had to do what he believed was right. She looked out the window then and saw that it was snowing. There was a thick layer of snow on the ground. It looked beautiful. She wanted to go for a walk in it with Peter, and maybe they would when they got home to Bedford that afternoon. She wanted to take time to do things like that now. To walk in the snow, to spend weekends with Peter, to go to London to see Cass. She walked to her desk with a smile and went back to work, and she had the strong impression that her mother would have been proud of her. She could feel it.

  Chapter 27

  In March, Olivia and Peter took the trip she’d been talking about for months. She combined it with business, as usual, and spent two days at their store outside Paris, and another day in Bordeaux, and then they traveled to Provence to look at the château. It was incredible and enormous, in beautiful condition, fully staffed, and there was room for everyone. The gardens had been designed by Le Nôtre, who had done the gardens at Versailles, with arbors, miles of rose gardens, and a maze. It had been the summer palace of one of the mistresses of Louis XV, and had miraculously escaped being destroyed during the Revolution. Its current owner had fully restored it to even more than it had once been. Olivia was planning to stay there for a month with Peter, and the children were coming for two weeks, unless they wanted to stay longer. It was the longest vacation she’d ever taken.

  She and Peter spent the nights as guests there, and they agreed that her family was going to love it. She had invited Peter’s children to join them. There was room for them all, with some twenty or twenty-five bedrooms lining the long halls.

  They explored the area over the weekend, and were delighted with their decision, and from there they went to London to see Cassie. She was six months pregnant by then and looked enormous, and they knew it was a boy. Danny was beside himself with excitement and wanted his band to play at the birth, which Cass had vetoed. She promised to let them play for the baby the minute they got home.

  Olivia was happy to see her, and they went shopping for the baby, and bought stacks of tiny clothes, and furniture for the nursery. Danny had had a tiny piano made to match the guitar.

  “I’m not sure I can keep him calm until the birth,” Cass said to her mother. “He wants to see the baby, especially now that he knows it’s a boy.”

  “It won’t be long,” Olivia said, enjoying her daughter. “Only three more months.”

  “It’s so scary, Mom. I wonder if I’ll ever feel ready, I’m so afraid I’ll do something wrong.”

  “You won’t.” Cass had just turned thirty-five, and they had just hired their nanny. Olivia told her about the château in Provence then. It seemed like the perfect place for them that summer. They had loved the boat the year before, but it seemed too complicated with a baby. He would only be six weeks old when they gathered in Provence.

  She spent two days with Cass, wandering and shopping and helping her get the nursery ready, and then she spent two days in their London stores. Peter had friends in London, so he was busy, and at home John was training his replacement so he could leave in May. All of them were busy, and Alex called her while they were still in London. He had gotten into Stanford and was overjoyed, and she told him how proud of him she was.

  Sophie was working in the New York store by then, in a training program for management. Olivia was thinking of sending her to London in a few months, and Cass had offered to have her stay with them until she found an apartment. Everyone was busy and had plans of their own.

  Peter and Olivia went from London to Milan and then to Paris again for work. Olivia found everything in order, and then they went back to New York.

  The next three months flew by, and Olivia had her follow-up mammogram before she went back to London and everything was fine. This time she was going to London alone to wait for Cass’s baby. And Peter was going to join her once it came.

  When she got to London and saw her daughter, she almost burst out laughing. She had never seen anyone so huge. It was all in her belly. Danny could hardly contain himself—he put his mouth to her enormous belly and talked to the baby all the time. Sometimes he sang to it or played music, and he swore his son was going to be a m
usical genius. Cassie seemed amused by his antics, and he spent an afternoon taking Olivia around in his bright red Rolls, and she had a ball.

  The baby was two days late when Cass had her first labor pains. She was calm and peaceful about it, told her mother what had happened, and shortly after, her water broke, and they took her to the hospital. And Danny sang to her all the way.

  “I love you, but I think you’d better shut up now. The pains are getting bad,” she told him between contractions, and he stopped singing and held her hand.

  “It’s going to be all right, you know,” he told her in a gentle voice. He was a child at times, but when she needed him to be, he was a man. Olivia watched them quietly, and then helped her into the wheelchair at the hospital. Olivia and Danny were given hospital pajamas to change into while the midwife examined Cassie, and Danny turned to Olivia in the room where they were putting on the pajamas.

  “You know how much I love her, don’t you?” he said to Olivia, and the person talking to her was no child. As playful as he had been before to distract Cassie, he was entirely serious now.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “And the baby. I would die for them, I would. I love your daughter more than life. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She’s a fantastic woman. I’d be nothing without her.”

  “Just be good to each other,” Olivia said gently. “That’s all you have to do.” She was thinking of Joe when she said it, and all the children they had had, who had turned out to be wonderful people, and now even Cassie was back in the fold.

  “I will, I promise,” Danny said solemnly, and then he kissed Olivia, and she smiled.

  “I know you will, Danny. Now let’s go and meet your son.”

  “Right on, Grandma. Off we go,” he said, and propelled her out the door, and when they found Cassie in the labor room, the pains had gotten bad. The nurse had told her she was dilated to four. But with a first baby, she had a long way to go. Many hours.

  For the next eight hours, Olivia watched Danny massage her back, hold her hand, rub her neck, croon softly to her, and dry her tears when she was crying and saying she couldn’t take it anymore. She had wanted to have it naturally and then changed her mind and wanted an epidural, and by then it was too late. Danny stood on one side of her and Olivia on the other, urging her on, and Danny held her aching shoulders when they told her she could start to push. She was exhausted by then and looked at her mother in despair.

  “I can’t, Mom, I can’t … it hurts too much.” She was crying, and Danny looked beside himself. His eyes implored Olivia to help them, and there was nothing she could do except hold Cassie’s hand. Cassie got a minute’s respite and started pushing again, as the midwife told her she could see the baby’s hair, which suddenly gave Cass a second wind. She worked harder than Olivia had ever seen any woman work, while tears streamed down her cheeks and Danny’s, and then they heard a powerful cry and a long thin wail. The baby was out, and he was a big, beautiful bouncing little boy, as Danny clung to Cass and told her how much he loved her. She looked around with amazement to see her baby, and Olivia cried watching all three of them. The midwife let Danny cut the cord and hand his baby to Cassie, and then they handed it to Olivia, and all she could think of was Maribelle and how much her own children had meant to her. Olivia was carried away on a tidal wave of joy.

  “You were fantastic!” Danny said to Cass, as their son nursed at her breast. Olivia bent down to kiss her daughter’s cheek, and Cass smiled at her mother.

  “Thank you for being here, Mom. I couldn’t have done it without you and Danny.” And she meant it. Olivia knew at that moment that she had her daughter back forever and her sins had been forgiven her. It was the most beautiful moment of her life since her own children were born.

  “What are you going to call him?” Olivia asked them. She felt closer to Danny than she ever knew she could. They had a bond they would share forever, this precious child, who was sleeping peacefully in his mother’s arms and weighed just over ten pounds.

  “Harry. Harry Hell,” Danny answered, and Cass nodded, looking pleased.

  “That’ll work,” Olivia said, smiling at them with an enormous sense of peace. It didn’t matter to her at all that they weren’t married. All the same ties were there as if they were, and she knew how much Danny cared about Cass. He was young, but he was a man. And his son would help him grow.

  “I want to have four more,” Danny said, as Cass groaned loudly.

  “Could we wait a while?”

  “Sure, I’ll give you a week, then I’ll have you knocked up again,” he said in his strongest cockney accent, and they all laughed, even the midwife who was sewing Cassie up where she had torn. But she was so happy holding her baby, she couldn’t feel a thing.

  Olivia left them for a few minutes and went to call Peter then.

  “We have a big beautiful baby boy,” Olivia said proudly. “Ten pounds.”

  “How’s Cassie?” he asked, sounding concerned.

  “I’ve never seen her happier, and Danny was great.”

  “I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll catch the first plane out.”

  “I can’t wait to see you,” she said, sounding excited. Watching her grandson’s birth had been a miracle she knew she’d never forget. It was the final healing for her and Cass, and she was so grateful to have been asked.

  When she walked back into the room, Cass and Danny were beaming at each other, and the midwife had gone. “We’re getting married,” Cass told her mother.

  “I just proposed,” Danny explained.

  “Well, it’s about goddamned time,” Olivia teased them, happy for them. “Peter will be here tomorrow.” But she was planning to stay another week until Cass got settled at home, and she’d be back in a month to get organized at the château before everyone arrived.

  “Can we get married in Provence when everyone is together?” Cass asked her mother. Olivia loved the idea, and so did Danny.

  “I’ll get everything organized.” Olivia beamed at her. She’d just seen a birth, now she was going to organize a wedding. She loved being part of Cass’s life again, in ways she never had been before. They shared an intimacy now that they had never had. “All you have to do is pick the day.”

  She stayed with them for another hour until they took Cass to a room, and then she went back to the hotel. She wanted to leave them alone to enjoy the moment between them, and it had been a long day for her too. But she was so excited, she couldn’t sleep. After Cass had called to tell her the news, Liz called her mother to see how it went, and they went over all the details. Liz was thrilled for her baby sister and excited about the wedding.

  And Olivia was still flying high from all the excitement when Peter arrived the next day, at six o’clock at night. She’d been with Cass all afternoon, holding the baby and talking about the wedding. Harry was a gorgeous child. And Danny was pouring the champagne like water. He was ecstatic.

  She told Peter all about the wedding when he walked in.

  “That sounds like a fine idea,” Peter said as he sat down in their suite. “It’s a beautiful place to get married.” And then he looked at her tenderly. They had been through a lot together over the years, and in the last six months, her brush with cancer, her reconciliation with Cass, the birth of the baby. He wondered if she would be more open to the idea and hoped she would. “Any chance we could get married there too? Maybe a double wedding?”

  She didn’t answer for a minute, and smiled at him.

  “It’s possible. I’ll have to ask the caterer, and get back to you,” she teased him, and he came to put his arms around her.

  “I’ll do whatever you want. I’m not pushing you.” He wanted to be sure she knew that, but she sounded more open to it and less adamant.

  “Let’s think about it and see how we feel.”

  He nodded and kissed her again, and as she touched his face, the sapphire he had given to her sparkled on her hand. He was well aware that it was not yet
an engagement ring, but he still hoped it would be one day.

  Chapter 28

  The day they all arrived at the château in Provence was like a three-ring circus multiplied by ten. Cass and Danny arrived with the baby and the nanny first, and Olivia got them settled into two adjoining rooms, with a spectacular view of the gardens, close to Olivia and Peter’s suite. Phillip and Taylor flew in from New York with Sarah and John as they had the year before. Alex came with Sophie this year—they had taken a flight together—and Carole came from California. Liz and Andrew were the last to arrive, and they were planning to visit his family in England afterward. Peter’s children and their children were coming for the second week, which gave the Graysons a little time alone before they arrived.

  Dinner the first night was exquisite chaos and music to Olivia’s ears, they were laughing and talking, the kids were playing cards. John and Phillip played liar’s dice before dinner, Cass and Danny showed the baby off to everyone, and to add to the general confusion, the wedding was the next day, because Danny said it was his lucky day. It was the anniversary of the first concert Cass had arranged for him. But Olivia had it all in control. She tried to convince everyone to go to bed early, to no avail. They stayed up half the night, playing cards and laughing and drinking, while Cassie nursed the baby, and Danny played a song he’d written for him called “Oh Harry.” And Peter laughed watching all of them.

  “Well, they’re certainly not a quiet group. You’ve got a very lively bunch here.” It reminded her of vacations when they were young. Maribelle would join in the merriment, shouting and laughing and playing and even jumping on the beds with the children. But this was the best year of all. Cass was with them, Harry had been born, all her children had partners who made them happy and whom they loved and so did she.

  She managed to convince them to go to their rooms at three o’clock in the morning, so they wouldn’t be totally exhausted the next day, and she and Peter finally went to their room too. The château was working out perfectly for them so far, and she and Peter had walked through the gardens peacefully before everyone arrived. As always, Olivia had arrived the night before, this time with Peter. She warned him that it was the last peaceful night they’d have, and he seemed game. His life had been quiet for too long. And they were planning to spend two weeks alone after everyone left. So for now, he was ready for the fun.