Twelve Men

by Theodore Dreiser

  “Da-a-‘ling” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “I am—” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “growing o-o-o-ld” (Clink!—“Thank you!”), “Silve-e-r—” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “threads among the—” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “go-o-o-ld—” (Clink! “Thank you!”). “Shine upon my-y” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “bro-o-ow toda-a-y” (Clink!—“Thank you!”), “Life is—” (Clink!—“Thank you!”) “fading fast a-a-wa-a-ay” (Clink!—“Thank you!”)—and so on ad infinitum, until finally the beggar himself seemed to hesitate a little and waver, only so solemn was his role of want and despair that of course he dared not but had to go on until the last penny was in, and until he was saying more “Thank yous” than words of the song. A passer-by noticing it had begun to “Haw-haw!”, at which others joined in, myself included. The beggar himself, a rather sniveling specimen, finally realizing what a figure he was cutting with his song and thanks, emptied the coins into his hand and with an indescribably wry expression, half-uncertainty and half smile, exclaimed, “I’ll have to thank you as long as you keep putting pennies in, I suppose. God bless you!”

  My brother came away smiling and content.

  However, it is not as a humorist or song-writer or publisher that I wish to portray him, but as an odd, lovable personality, possessed of so many interesting and peculiar and almost indescribable traits. Of all characters in fiction he perhaps most suggests Jack Falstaff, with his love of women, his bravado and bluster and his innate good nature and sympathy. Sympathy was really his outstanding characteristic, even more than humor, although the latter was always present. One might recite a thousand incidents of his generosity and out-of-hand charity, which contained no least thought of return or reward. I recall that once there was a boy who had been reared in one of the towns in which we had once lived who had never had a chance in his youth, educationally or in any other way, and, having turned out “bad” and sunk to the level of a bank robber, had been detected in connection with three other men in the act of robbing a bank, the watchman of which was subsequently killed in the melee and escape. Of all four criminals only this one had been caught. Somewhere in prison he had heard sung one of my brother’s sentimental ballads, “The Convict and the Bird,” and recollecting that he had known Paul wrote him, setting forth his life history and that now he had no money or friends.

  At once my good brother was alive to the pathos of it. He showed the letter to me and wanted to know what could be done. I suggested a lawyer, of course, one of those brilliant legal friends of his—always he had enthusiastic admirers in all walks—who might take the case for little or nothing. There was the leader of Tammany Hall, Richard Croker, who could be reached, he being a friend of Paul’s. There was the Governor himself to whom a plain recitation of the boy’s unfortunate life might be addressed, and with some hope of profit.

  All of these things he did, and more. He went to the prison (Sing Sing), saw the warden and told him the story of the boy’s life, then went to the boy, or man, himself and gave him some money. He was introduced to the Governor through influential friends and permitted to tell the tale. There was much delay, a reprieve, a commutation of the death penalty to life imprisonment—the best that could be done. But he was so grateful for that, so pleased. You would have thought at the time that it was his own life that had been spared.

  “Good heavens!” I jested. “You’d think you’d done the man an inestimable service, getting him in the penitentiary for life!”

  “That’s right,” he grinned—an unbelievably provoking smile. “He’d better be dead, wouldn’t he? Well, I’ll write and ask him which he’d rather have.”

  I recall again taking him to task for going to the rescue of a “down and out” actor who had been highly successful and apparently not very sympathetic in his day, one of that more or less gaudy clan that wastes its substance, or so it seemed to me then, in riotous living. But now being old and entirely discarded and forgotten, he was in need of sympathy and aid. By some chance he knew Paul, or Paul had known him, and now because of the former’s obvious prosperity—he was much in the papers at the time—he had appealed to him. The man lived with a sister in a wretched little town far out on Long Island. On receiving his appeal Paul seemed to wish to investigate for himself, possibly to indulge in a little lofty romance or sentiment. At any rate he wanted me to go along for the sake of companionship, so one dreary November afternoon we went, saw the pantaloon, who did not impress me very much even in his age and misery for he still had a few of his theatrical manners and insincerities, and as we were coming away I said, “Paul, why should you be the goat in every case?” for I had noted ever since I had been in New York, which was several years then, that he was a victim of many such importunities. If it was not the widow of a deceased friend who needed a ton of coal or a sack of flour, or the reckless, headstrong boy of parents too poor to save him from a term in jail or the reformatory and who asked for fine-money or an appeal to higher powers for clemency, or a wastrel actor or actress “down and out” and unable to “get back to New York” and requiring his or her railroad fare wired prepaid, it was the dead wastrel actor or actress who needed a coffin and a decent form of burial.

  “Well, you know how it is, Thee” (he nearly always addressed me thus), “when you’re old and sick. As long as you’re up and around and have money, everybody’s your friend. But once you’re down and out no one wants to see you any more—see?” Almost amusingly he was always sad over those who had once been prosperous but who were now old and forgotten. Some of his silliest tender songs conveyed as much.

  “Quite so,” I complained, rather brashly, I suppose, “but why didn’t he save a little money when he had it? He made as much as you’ll ever make.” The man had been a star. “He had plenty of it, didn’t he? Why should he come to you?”

  “Well, you know how it is, Thee,” he explained in the kindliest and most apologetic way. “When you’re young and healthy like that you don’t think. I know how it is; I’m that way myself. We all have a little of it in us. I have; you have. And anyhow youth’s the time to spend money if you’re to get any good of it, isn’t it? Of course when you’re old you can’t expect much, but still I always feel as though I’d like to help some of these old people.” His eyes at such times always seemed more like those of a mother contemplating a sick or injured child than those of a man contemplating life.

  “But, Paul,” I insisted on another occasion when he had just wired twenty-five dollars somewhere to help bury some one. (My spirit was not so niggardly as fearsome. I was constantly terrified in those days by the thought of a poverty-stricken old age for myself and him—why, I don’t know. I was by no means incompetent.) “Why don’t you save your money? Why should you give it to every Tom, Dick and Harry that asks you? You’re not a charity organization, and you’re not called upon to feed and clothe and bury all the wasters who happen to cross your path. If you were down and out how many do you suppose would help you?”

  “Well, you know,” and his voice and manner were largely those of mother, the same wonder, the same wistfulness and sweetness, the same bubbling charity and tenderness of heart, “I can’t say I haven’t got it, can I?” He was at the height of his success at the time. “And anyhow, what’s the use being so hard on people? We’re all likely to get that way. You don’t know what pulls people down sometimes—not wasting always. It’s thoughtlessness, or trying to be happy. Remember how poor we were and how mamma and papa used to worry.” Often these references to mother or father or their difficulties would bring tears to his eyes. “I can’t stand to see people suffer, that’s all, not if I have anything,” and his eyes glowed sweetly. “And, after all,” he added apologetically, “the little I give isn’t much. They don’t get so much out of me. They don’t come to me every day.”

  Another time—one Christmas Eve it was, when I was comparatively new to New York (my second or third year), I was a little uncertain what to do, having no connections outside of Paul and two sisters, on
e of whom was then out of the city. The other, owing to various difficulties of her own and a temporary estrangement from us—more our fault than hers—was therefore not available. The rather drab state into which she had allowed her marital affections to lead her was the main reason that kept us apart. At any rate I felt that I could not, or rather would not, go there. At the same time, owing to some difficulty or irritation with the publishing house of which my brother was then part owner (it was publishing the magazine which I was editing), we twain were also estranged, nothing very deep really—a temporary feeling of distance and indifference.

  So I had no place to go except to my room, which was in a poor part of the town, or out to dine where best I might—some moderate-priced hotel, was my thought. I had not seen my brother in three or four days, but after I had strolled a block or two up Broadway I encountered him. I have always thought that he had kept an eye on me and had really followed me; was looking, in short, to see what I would do As usual he was most smartly and comfortably dressed.

  “Where you going, Thee?” he called cheerfully.

  “Oh, no place in particular,” I replied rather suavely, I presume. “Just going up the street.”

  “Now, see here, sport,” he began—a favorite expression of his, “sport”—with his face abeam, “what’s the use you and me quarreling? It’s Christmas Eve, ain’t it? It’s a shame! Come on, let’s have a drink and then go out to dinner.”

  “Well,” I said, rather uncompromisingly, for at times his seemingly extreme success and well-being irritated me, “I’ll have a drink, but as for dinner I have another engagement.”

  “Aw, don’t say that. What’s the use being sore? You know I always feel the same even if we do quarrel at times. Cut it out. Come on. You know I’m your brother, and you’re mine. It’s all right with me, Thee. Let’s make it up, will you? Put ‘er there! Come on, now. We’ll go and have a drink, see, something hot—it’s Christmas Eve, sport. The old home stuff.”

  He smiled winsomely, coaxingly, really tenderly, as only he could smile. I “gave in.” But now as we entered the nearest shining bar, a Christmas crowd buzzing within and without (it was the old Fifth Avenue Hotel), a new thought seemed to strike him.

  “Seen E---- lately?” he inquired, mentioning the name of the troubled sister who was having a very hard time indeed. Her husband had left her and she was struggling over the care of two children.

  “No,” I replied, rather shamefacedly, “not in a week or two—maybe more.”

  He clicked his tongue. He himself had not been near her in a month or more. His face fell, and he looked very depressed.

  “It’s too bad—a shame really. We oughtn’t to do this way, you know, sport. It ain’t right. What do you say to our going around there,” it was in the upper thirties, “and see how she’s making out?—take her a few things, eh? Whaddya say?”

  I hadn’t a spare dollar myself, but I knew well enough what he meant by “take a few things” and who would pay for them.

  “Well, we’ll have to hurry if we want to get anything now,” I urged, falling in with the idea since it promised peace, plenty and good will all around, and we rushed the drink and departed. Near at hand was a branch of one of the greatest grocery companies of the city, and near it, too, his then favorite hotel, the Continental. En route we meditated on the impossibility of delivery, the fact that we would have to carry the things ourselves, but he at last solved that by declaring that he could commandeer negro porters or bootblacks from the Continental. We entered, and by sheer smiles on his part and some blarney heaped upon a floor-manager, secured a turkey, sweet potatoes, peas, beans, a salad, a strip of bacon, a ham, plum pudding, a basket of luscious fruit and I know not what else—provender, I am sure, for a dozen meals. While it was being wrapped and packed in borrowed baskets, soon to be returned, he went across the way to the hotel and came back with three grinning darkies who for the tip they knew they would receive preceded us up Broadway, the nearest path to our destination. On the way a few additional things were picked up: holly wreaths, toys, candy, nuts—and then, really not knowing whether our plan might not mis-carry, we made our way through the side street and to the particular apartment, or, rather, flat-house, door, a most amusing Christmas procession, I fancy, wondering and worrying now whether she would be there.

  But the door clicked in answer to our ring, and up we marched, the three darkies first, instructed to inquire for her and then insist on leaving the goods, while we lagged behind to see how she would take it.

  The stage arrangement worked as planned. My sister opened the door and from the steps below we could hear her protesting that she had ordered nothing, but the door being open the negroes walked in and a moment or two afterwards ourselves. The packages were being piled on table and floor, while my sister, unable quite to grasp this sudden visitation and change of heart, stared.

  “Just thought we’d come around and have supper with you, E----, and maybe dinner tomorrow if you’ll let us,” my brother chortled. “Merry Christmas, you know. Christmas Eve. The good old home stuff—see? Old sport here and I thought we couldn’t stay away—tonight, anyhow.”

  He beamed on her in his most affectionate way, but she, suffering regret over the recent estrangement as well as the difficulties of life itself and the joy of this reunion, burst into tears, while the two little ones danced about, and he and I put our arms about her.

  “There, there! It’s all over now,” he declared, tears welling in his eyes. “It’s all off. We’ll can this scrapping stuff. Thee and I are a couple of bums and we know it, but you can forgive us, can’t you? We ought to be ashamed of ourselves, all of us, and that’s the truth. We’ve been quarreling, too, haven’t spoken for a week. Ain’t that so, sport? But it’s all right now, eh?”

  There were tears in my eyes, too. One couldn’t resist him. He had the power of achieving the tenderest results in the simplest ways. We then had supper, and breakfast the next morning, all staying and helping, even to the washing and drying of the dishes, and thereafter for I don’t know how long we were all on the most affectionate terms, and he eventually died in this sister’s home, ministered to with absolutely restless devotion by her for weeks before the end finally came.

  But, as I have said, I always prefer to think of him at this, the very apex or tower window of his life. For most of this period he was gay and carefree. The music company of which he was a third owner was at the very top of its success. Its songs, as well as his, were everywhere. He had in turn at this time a suite at the Gilsey House, the Marlborough, the Normandie—always on Broadway, you see. The limelight district was his home. He rose in the morning to the clang of the cars and the honk of the automobiles outside; he retired at night as a gang of repair men under flaring torches might be repairing a track, or the milk trucks were rumbling to and from the ferries. He was in his way a public restaurant and hotel favorite, a shining light in the theater managers’ offices, hotel bars and lobbies and wherever those flies of the Tenderloin, those passing lords and celebrities of the sporting, theatrical, newspaper and other worlds, are wont to gather. One of his intimates, as I now recall, was “Bat” Masterson, the Western and now retired (to Broadway!) bad man; Muldoon, the famous wrestler; Tod Sloan, the jockey; “Battling” Nelson; James J. Corbett; Kid McCoy; Terry McGovern—prize-fighters all. Such Tammany district leaders as James Murphy, “The” McManus, Chrystie and Timothy Sullivan, Richard Carroll, and even Richard Croker, the then reigning Tammany boss, were all on his visiting list. He went to their meetings, rallies and district doings generally to sing and play, and they came to his “office” occasionally. Various high and mighties of the Roman Church, “fathers” with fine parishes and good wine cellars, and judges of various municipal courts, were also of his peculiar world. He was always running to one or the other “to get somebody out,” or they to him to get him to contribute something to something, or to sing and play or act, and betimes they were meeting each other in hotel grills or elsewhere
and having a drink and telling “funny stories.”

  Apropos of this sense of humor of his, this love of horse-play almost, I remember that once he had a new story to tell—a vulgar one of course—and with it he had been making me and a dozen others laugh until the tears coursed down our cheeks. It seemed new to everybody and, true to his rather fantastic moods, he was determined to be the first to tell it along Broadway. For some reason he was anxious to have me go along with him, possibly because he found me at that time an unvarying fountain of approval and laughter, possibly because he liked to show me off as his rising brother, as he insisted that I was. At between six and seven of a spring or summer evening, therefore, we issued from his suite at the Gilsey House, whither he had returned to dress, and invading the bar below were at once centered among a group who knew him. A whiskey, a cigar, the story told to one, two, three, five, ten to roars of laughter, and we were off, over the way to Weber & Fields (the Musical Burlesque House Supreme of those days) in the same block, where to the ticket seller and house manager, both of whom he knew, it was told. More laughter, a cigar perhaps. Then we were off again, this time to the ticket seller of Palmer’s Theater at Thirtieth Street, thence to the bar of the Grand Hotel at Thirty-first, the Imperial at Thirty-second, the Martinique at Thirty-third, a famous drug-store at the southwest corner of Thirty-fourth and Broadway, now gone of course, the manager of which was a friend of his. It was a warm, moony night, and he took a glass of vichy “for looks’ sake,” as he said.

  Then to the quondam Hotel Aulic at Thirty-fifth and Broadway—the center and home of the then much-berated “Hotel Aulic or Actors’ School of Philosophy,” and a most impressive actors’ rendezvous where might have been seen in the course of an evening all the “second leads” and “light comedians” and “heavies” of this, that and the other road company, all blazing with startling clothes and all explaining how they “knocked ‘em” here and there: in Peoria, Pasadena, Walla-Walla and where not. My brother shone like a star when only one is in the sky.