The Secret Life of Daydreams

by Whitney, Lucinda

  Contents

  Book Description

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty One

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty One

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  Nominate This Book

  Illustration

  Acknowledgments

  Dedication

  About the Author

  Sometimes the dream you never planned for

  is the one you can’t live without.

  Six years after a painful divorce, Josh Conrad is happy traveling the world as a photographer. When he arrives in Portugal, he plans to complete the assignment as quickly as possible. What he doesn’t plan for is Sofia, the girl he baptized eleven years earlier on an LDS mission, and soon he’s making excuses to prolong his trip.

  Sofia Monteiro leads a structured life in Braga, Portugal, teaching high school by day and caring for her mother by night. After she reconnects with Josh through mutual friends, the memory of a failed relationship and her new graduate program are enough reasons to stay away from him.

  As they collaborate on a project, Josh is wary of repeating his old mistakes and Sofia hesitates to spend time with an American who’s only passing through.

  Can two people with wounded hearts bring themselves to trust their dreams to each other?

  Copyright © 2016 Lucinda Whitney

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events, is entirely coincidental.

  Edited by Michele Paige Holmes

  Cover creation and design ©2015 Ravven

  Custom illustration ©2014 Jess Purser/

  Castle On The Hill

  Published by Lange House Press

  Ebook edition released January 2016

  ASIN: B017L7G78I

  Why had he come?

  Josh Conrad palmed the steering wheel as the road curved right. He had left Portugal on a sunny October morning and was now back on a wet May evening. Eleven years was a long time. The twists and turns life had taken since then had somehow guided his path back to the nearby streets and squares, to the places he remembered and to the people he hadn’t forgotten. He had worked hard then.

  This time, the work was different, and even though he had choices in the kind of jobs he took, he hadn’t planned to return to this part of the world. He preferred new places that didn’t provoke painful introspection. Maybe this trip wasn’t a good idea.

  He rolled down the window a few inches. What was that Portuguese saying about thousands of water? Something fitting for this kind of weather. The rain lashed against the glass and sprayed his hair and forehead. He inhaled. The trees in early bloom, the asphalt, the richness of dirt not too far from the road. The scents were both familiar and foreign, rousing memories he had long put to sleep, memories he didn’t want to awaken.

  At first glance, the city of Braga had grown. How they found the space for that growth was baffling. In the approaching evening, the blanket of city lights hugged the hillsides in places where only fields and trees had previously been. The sounds filtered in through the chink on the window—the traffic muffled by the rain, the nearby peal of a church bell, bits of conversation in a language he hadn’t heard in a while.

  He longed to stop and take a closer look. The first reconnaissance walk would have to wait till morning, when the sun was up and the weather drier. Hopefully much drier. He wasn’t in the mood to carry an umbrella, one he’d have to buy first. At least the weatherproof sleeve for his equipment was packed in the camera bag. A few years back, when he’d started out in photography, he’d spent a month in Venezuela in the rainy season, four and a half weeks of holding a fraying umbrella over his camera and telelens as if he knew what he was doing. That mistake had cost him some crucial images, and it was a lesson he had learned dearly.

  Josh had a full schedule for this trip, trying to fit everything he needed to do into the six-week work visa. Interviews and research could take place at any time and under any kind of weather, but the photos for this project required the trademark background of sunny skies and cotton clouds that Portugal boasted. That’s what his clients wanted, and that’s what he’d deliver. Good weather willing. He didn’t want to entertain the alternative if the wet days persisted.

  The rain intensified and when his cell phone rang, Josh pulled to an empty parking space on a side street. He grabbed the phone from the center console and checked the caller ID. “You didn’t tell me it was raining.”

  The man on the other side laughed. “I guess I didn’t. Are you in town yet?”

  Josh rolled up the window. “I just arrived. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “You need directions?”

  Josh tapped the screen on his smartphone, where a map highlighted the remaining distance between his position and his destination. “You still have no confidence in my navigation skills, do you, Paulo?” He couldn’t hold back the teasing in his voice.

  They hung up and Josh replaced the phone. He waited for the passing traffic before turning onto the main road. The usual excitement that came with the beginning of a new job didn’t reach the proportions he was used to. That’s what happened when the city was too familiar, from a past life he didn’t wish to see resurrected. As the wipers slid on the windshield, he only hoped this trip wasn’t a mistake.

  *

  Sofia Monteiro had left the school ten minutes ago, and already she was soaked. Her red umbrella wasn’t much of a refuge from the heavy rains on that Monday afternoon. As the saying went, “Em Abril, águas mil.” Only April had come and gone and still the rain continued. It was the wettest May in her recent memory. Hopefully Mother hadn’t tried to pick the laundry from the line. Sofia would rather deal with a load of rain-soaked sheets than worry about Mother leaning out the balcony too far.

  The way to the parking garage cut through Avenida Central and its gardens. The blooms on the linden trees weighed the air with their sweet fragrance, adding to the kind of spring day she so loved in Braga. At times, Sofia sat on a park bench to read in the shade of one of the centennial trees. The nearby bells in the twin church towers across the garden chimed every fifteen minutes with their familiar clang, and it didn’t take much to distract her as the pedestrians walked by. Today people hurried along hunched behind umbrellas, and she longed for her corner on the sofa, her woolen socks, and a cup of lemon balm tea.

  When she rounded the corner, a man stood in the center of the square, facing away from her. He wore a backpack under a navy rain slick with a hood, and the water dripped from him onto the granite pavement as i
f he were a permanent fixture instead of a mobile one. As Sofia approached from the side, he turned, holding a covered object to his bearded face. It had to be a camera, though she hadn’t seen one protected from the rain in that fashion. The Nikon brand stamped in white letters confirmed her guess.

  He was tall. For some reason, Sofia had always had a predilection for tall guys, and this one caught her attention. His height and build suggested he was not Portuguese, and she wished she could see his features to guess his nationality. It was a game she had played with her fellow workers on a job as a tourist guide in her late teens. After a few weeks of practice meeting people from other countries, she could guess any new tourist’s nationality. She still tried to predict their country of origin whenever she saw foreigners.

  The man kept the camera in front of his eyes and Sofia slowed down, tipping her umbrella back slightly so she could have a better look. Nosiness—that was, curiosity—was a trait Portuguese people cultivated with blunt finesse, and one from which she couldn’t escape at times.

  Dark hair stuck to his forehead, and his strong profile reminded her of an actor who starred in the British dramas she watched. He was lost to everything around him. Sofia knew that kind of concentration, the kind that sneaked up and obliterated all distractions. As a little girl, she had been easily distracted. She had tried to hide how she could daydream and disconnect from her surroundings in the most normal situations. All grown up, she still did it, both the dreaming and the hiding. She inhaled quickly as the sense of awareness increased, the kinship felt with a stranger who shared something with her. Not the photography, but the pursuit of a dream without interference. He didn’t even know she watched him.

  He wore boots but Sofia didn’t and soon her shoes leaked and her feet were wet and cold. It pulled her out of her daydreaming and into reality. She didn’t have the time to look at men, even if they appeared to be interesting. It was beyond the list of possibilities in her life at the moment, and any related diversions meant nothing more than that. The thought didn’t surprise her, however maudlin it rang.

  As she resumed the walk back to the car, Sofia planned to watch an episode of her favorite British show after Mother’s bedtime. In the comfort of the living room, she could gawk at foreign men out of the torrential rain and daydream of sunny days and long strolls with attentive companions.

  If only reality could be as fulfilling as fantasy.

  The letter came on Tuesday. The one Sofia had been waiting for eight months, three weeks, and too many days of which to keep track. Heart thumping wildly, she brought it up from the mailbox when she arrived from a long day at school, the tiredness and frustration of dealing with teenagers momentarily forgotten.

  Mother shuffled into the kitchen when Sofia called her for dinner.

  She put a plate down in front of Mother at the table. “I made one of your favorites, mãe.”

  “Sardinhas.” Mother gave her a small smile.

  It was a simple meal of grilled sardines, boiled potatoes sprinkled with olive oil and minced parsley, and tomato salad with fresh onions. Mother had a predilection for traditional dishes and Sofia liked to please her when she could. Food was one of the few things in which Mother still had interest.

  “Did you have a good day?” Sofia asked.

  Mother forked a potato and took a bite. “It was okay.” She chewed. “This is good. Obrigada.”

  Sofia smiled. “De nada.”

  After dinner, Sofia cleaned the kitchen and Mother retired to her bedroom. Mother didn’t know what that envelope meant, and Sofia had chosen not to tell her since change upset her, any kind of change. It was better to keep it from her until Sofia knew for certain what lay ahead. If only Father were still alive to see her keep the promise she’d made to him.

  She tiptoed into Mother’s bedroom and, after making sure she slept, she turned the monitor on and the lights off. The receptor for the monitor went to the hands of Dona Luísa, who lived in the apartment next door. Sofia couldn’t have asked for a better way of having someone watch Mother when she had to leave in the evenings. During the day, Dona Luísa kept Mother company. In the past year, Mother’s mental health had been declining slowly, and she couldn’t be left alone anymore.

  In the elevator, on the way down to the garage, she plucked the courage to open the envelope and read the letter.

  When she arrived at Margarida’s apartment, Sofia walked through the door and handed her the envelope from the office of admissions at the University of Minho.

  Margarida held a finger to her lips. “The baby’s asleep.” She eyed the university’s logo on the envelope. “This is not it, is it?”

  Sofia placed her sodden umbrella in the metallic stand then hung her jacket on the coat rack. “They should send advance notice letters, you know.” She kept her voice low. “They make people wait so long. And then one day there it is, and you aren’t prepared for it.”

  They sat in the living room. Margarida removed the letter from the envelope, then stopped. “Tell me you got in.”

  Sofia pointed at the letter. “You better read it yourself.” She fingered the pendant on the gold chain around her neck.

  “I can’t stand it.” Margarida flattened the paper onto her lap and scanned the paragraphs. She let out a squeal then clapped her mouth. “I knew you’d get it!” She wrapped her arms around Sofia. “Parabéns! You’re going to get your doctorate!”

  “Well, you knew more than I did.” Sofia returned the embrace and gave her a thin smile. “I’d almost given up hope of getting a reply.”

  “No, you hadn’t.” Margarida placed the letter back in the envelope and returned it to Sofia. “It’s me you’re talking to, remember?” She tapped Sofia’s knee. “Besides, you were doing that thing just now.”

  “What thing?”

  Margarida stood and pulled the blinds closed on the window. “The pendant around your neck. You touch it when you’re nervous.”

  Sofia dropped her hand. She didn’t have to pretend around her best friend. “I think I’m going to be nervous for a long time.”

  “You told your mother yet?”

  “No.” Sofia sighed. “I’ll have to pick the right moment. You know how she is.” She placed the letter in her purse. “Besides, I have to find out more. I need to make an appointment with the office of admissions and get all the details about the payments, and when it starts, and where it’ll take place.”

  Margarida smiled wide and stood from the sofa. “I’m so excited for you! You’ve worked so hard for this, and you deserve it, Sofia.”

  “I’m still having a hard time believing it’s finally happening.” She followed Margarida to the kitchen. “I just hope that I have enough saved to get through the first semester. The first year, actually. That would solve so many problems.” She leaned against the wall by the kitchen counter. “The schedule has me worried. I’ve heard how demanding the English Literature program can be, and I can’t quit my position at the school.” She crossed her arms.

  “Stop fretting about what you don’t know yet.” Margarida turned to the stove and put the kettle on. “It’ll all go well; you’ll see.”

  Was it lack of faith that she always worried ahead of time, as her father used to say? How could she long for something so fiercely and yet fear it so deeply? It didn’t make much sense at times.

  Sofia sat at the kitchen table. “Where’s Paulo? Is he working late tonight?”

  “He’s out helping a friend get settled.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  “He’s an American from California, an old mission companion. Paulo says they were best buddies.” Margarida placed a baguette on a wooden cutting board, and cut four even slices.

  “That sounds like fun for Paulo.” Sofia reached for a small slice of bread, and nibbled on the corner. “What’s the guy doing here?”

  “He came for some work-related business, I think.”

  A cell phone chimed and Margarida reached for it. She swiped the screen and read
the message. “It’s Paulo.” She scrolled through the text. “He says they got done early and they’re coming over in a few minutes.”

  Sofia rose from the chair. “I better go then.”

  Margarida turned Sofia back toward her chair. “Don’t be silly. Of course you’re staying.” She walked to the refrigerator.

  Sofia crossed her leg and hitched an eyebrow. “I’ll stay, but you have to promise you won’t get any ideas.”

  “Ideas about what?” Margarida smiled as she put down a covered plate of cheese.

  “Is the guy married or single?” Sofia didn’t try to hide the suspicion in her voice.

  Margarida uncovered a small glass container with cold cuts. “I can’t remember.”

  “Let’s assume he’s married so you don’t try to fix me on a date.”

  Margarida looked up from her task and brought a hand up to her chest. “Who? Me? When was the last time I did that?”

  “Do I need to jog your memory?” Sofia fixed her gaze on her friend. “The guy with the wife checklist and the marriage contract on the first date?” The memories of that particular outing brought a shudder to her.

  Margarida arranged the slices of cheese and cold cuts on a platter and chuckled. “And he looked so normal too.”

  Sofia stood and reached for a glass on the drying rack. “Just because we’re both Mormon, single, and over twenty-five doesn’t mean we should go out together.” She filled it with water and took a drink. “You should know that.”

  Margarida laughed again. “I know. I’m sorry. But he seemed like such a nice guy.” She grabbed the baguette and began slicing through the rest of it. “I’m serious. Don’t worry. I won’t be setting you up with this guy.”