Shadows to Ashes

by Tori de Clare

  ‘How?’

  ‘He pointed out that you’d need my support and promised that we’d move in when the trial was over. He was wrong twice over.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well you haven’t wanted or needed me and now the trial’s over, he’s becoming more withdrawn and I don’t know what to think anymore. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but Dad’s never liked Joel. Maybe men sense things about each other and maybe Dad was always afraid he’d let me down.’

  ‘Oh, Annie.’ Naomi had a dozen objections, but she found no words for them. She looked back on the hazy, painful memories of the recent past and found no comfort at all. She hadn’t looked out for Annabel because she’d had nothing to give. She marshalled some words. ‘All I know is that from my point of view, Joel was right. I couldn’t have stayed afloat without you here. You help me every day. You’re why I’m still sane and I’m really sorry that I’ve been no support to you. I suppose I took for granted that you were OK. I’m not tuned in to anyone but Dan at the moment, and he might as well be on Mars.’

  Annabel looked directly at Naomi now, her eyes immersed in tears she wouldn’t release. She reached out and took Naomi’s hand. ‘How did our lives come to this?’ She looked lost and haunted, an Annabel that Naomi had never known.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘What are we going to do?’

  ‘You have to talk to Joel, ask him what’s going on.’

  ‘I already have and he has no answers for me, just keeps laughing it off and telling me that he loves me as much as ever and that I’m imagining things. But I know I’m not. Something’s changed.’

  ‘Talk to him again. Get assertive. Tell him you want to set up a home with him before the baby comes.’

  ‘I could buy my own place anytime, anywhere that I wanted, but I’ve hung around here for you, and Joel’s in Newcastle more than he’s here and now I don’t know where to go.’

  ‘Talk to him.’ Annabel nodded, resigned. ‘Maybe that’s the thing that’s upsetting him – that you have money and he doesn’t. That you can provide everything for the baby and he can’t. Dan used to go on about it to me. Men are weird like that. They see themselves as providers.’

  ‘You think that might be it?’ Her face brightened a bit and she straightened up.

  ‘It’s worth a discussion, surely.’

  ‘Yeah.’ She turned now, full body. ‘Will you do me a favour? It’s really bothering me that I don’t have a cot yet. The baby might come early. Who knows? Will you psyche yourself up for a shopping trip with me, say tomorrow? Joel’s been putting me off –’

  ‘Today,’ Naomi said hastily.

  ‘Today?’

  Naomi stood up as if she had a purpose, and energy. Truth was, she couldn’t look Annabel in the eye with what she was about to say. ‘I’ve been thinking I might go and stay with Siobhan for a while and catch up with people at college, do some music. So let’s go today. I’d love to choose a cot with you.’

  She was relieved that Annabel wasn’t silent for long. ‘I thought that seeing friends would be the last thing you’d want to do.’

  ‘Yeah me too, but it’s best to get out of this room, right? If I’m going to visit Dan, I need to be stronger. I don’t want to be the miserable aunty either.’

  ‘Right. Yeah.’ She stood up. ‘I’ll get ready then. You go and eat something. I’ve been eating for three the last few months – me, the baby and you. Get some food down you.’ She smiled. The haunted look had passed. She looked beautiful. Her hair was full, her skin clear and lightly flushed around her cheeks, her compact little swelling that she guarded so fiercely.

  Naomi smiled back. ‘OK.’

  Annabel left the room and Naomi stood in silence. The deception tore at her and she collapsed onto the bed and couldn’t stem the surge of tears.

  ***

  The screws visited unannounced. Dan was doing press-ups and Vic was watching Under The Hammer on TV when two guards arrived to conduct a routine check of the cell. One stayed by the door, the other began a thorough search of the room. Under the mattresses, in and around the toilet and sink, in bags, clothes, shoes, bedding. Dan knew he had nothing to hide, but still, as he stood waiting, he had that feeling like he was teetering too close to a cliff edge.

  From one of the drawers, the screws held up a wad of unopened letters. Dan stiffened. He was doing his utmost to forget about those letters. To shield himself from them, as he must.

  ‘These untouched, fella? What’s up with you?’ It was a benign comment, friendly tone. Letters and contacts from the outside were like gold and the guard didn’t get it.

  Dan nodded. ‘They’re from my girlfriend.’ Most people called the screws ‘boss’ except the cons from down south who called them ‘gov’. Dan refused either term. He shouldn’t even be in here. He wasn’t going to adopt prison lingo. ‘Whatever’s in there, I don’t want to hear it.’

  ‘Wouldn’t take a stack like that just to say, Dear John.’

  ‘I know.’ Dan looked at the floor. ‘Thing is, I won’t let her wait for me. Gonna have to let her go and I can’t find the courage.’ He swallowed. ‘And reading that pile won’t make it any easier. I need to word it carefully.’

  ‘Get a grip there, lad. They help, you know, girlfriends, friends, family. It matters to stay in touch with people outside. Helps them too. How long you got in here?’

  It was difficult to get the words out. ‘Sixteen-year sentence.’

  A whoosh of air rushed out of his mouth. ‘Long time to maintain heroics, fella. Come on, if the lass has something to say –’

  ‘No,’ Dan cut in. ‘She’s been through enough already. You don’t know her. She deserves better.’ Dan cleared his throat. He’d said as much as he could say. Vic Meredith was looking at him quizzically. They’d never talked about this.

  The guard shook his head much as to say, your choice, pal. He put the letters back where he’d found them, concluded his searches. Before he left, he said to Dan, ‘Got a visitor soon, Stone, yeah?’

  Dan nodded. ‘Two-thirty.’

  Joel had rung in, booked an appointment to see him and he’d approved it. He was allowed two visits a month in Strangeways. When he’d been on remand, he’d been allowed three visits a week. Dan had mixed feelings about seeing Joel again. Of course he wanted to hear news about Annabel and the baby, and he was desperate to know how Naomi was doing. Although he’d begged her not to testify at the trial, he was burning to know why she hadn’t shown up when she’d been so determined to speak out. No doubt the stash of letters in the drawer would answer all his questions, but he couldn’t face them. It was probably best to cut ties with Joel and with all the Hamiltons. Less complicated all round. His thoughts were hardening into a decision as the minutes ticked towards two-thirty. He’d thank Joel for coming, ask him not to come back – tell him to get on with his life, care for his family. Dan would reserve his visits for his own family in future.

  Two-thirty came around quickly and Dan found himself burdened with trepidation as he was escorted to the visitors’ centre. When he entered the room, it wasn’t Joel sitting waiting for him, but Vincent Solomon. He froze in the doorway, utterly unprepared. His fingers clenched into fists. His jaw locked and his teeth ground together. Solomon’s elbows were on the table and his hands were pressed together in front of his face. Out of place in a black suit, he sat perfectly still, glaring at a blank wall.

  One of the guards nudged Dan’s elbow. ‘Keep moving then.’

  Dan had vowed to be the model prisoner, to never draw attention to himself, so he was unwilling to make a scene now. Solomon wasn’t worth it. He’d make this short, send him packing. He recovered himself and his legs propelled him awkwardly forward. Next thing, he’d dropped down opposite Solomon. Solomon shifted his pale eyes without twitching a muscle and they were looking at each other now. The guard strolled away.

  ‘Good to see you, Dan. How are they treating you in here?’

  Dan pressed
his lips together and refused to speak.

  ‘I’ve brought you a little something,’ Solomon said, placing a sizeable bar of chocolate on the table in front of Dan. Dan wouldn’t look at it. He locked his gaze on Solomon’s eyes and didn’t move. ‘If you don’t eat it now, you won’t be able to save it for later.’ Dan knew that, but still he wouldn’t touch it. He swallowed because his mouth was secreting juices. If anyone else had brought it, he’d have devoured it in a heartbeat. As it was, he didn’t move and Solomon left it as a kind of divider between them. It tugged at Dan’s attention.

  Solomon’s tone was very low. ‘Well, I can see you’re itching to get back to your cell, so I’ll be brief. No doubt you’re wondering why she didn’t attend your trial and I’m guessing no one’s been honest with you, so here’s the truth. She was abducted.’ Dan lunged forward in his seat. ‘Easy now, you’re drawing attention.’

  Dan’s tongue broke loose. ‘If you’re lying –’

  ‘Why would I? She was taken on the way to court. The guy was after money and got in touch with Henry. Check the details with him if you wish. I retrieved her from a used railway line the night after, paid the ransom. No police involvement. No press. Everything hush-hush. Even her mother doesn’t know. I intended to hurt this guy, but I couldn’t get near. He’s slippery, even now.’

  Dan closed his eyes. His heart was beating a frantic and insistent beat. He wanted to stand up, shout in Solomon’s face, land a fist on the bridge of his nose and feel his bone shatter. He imagined doing it and then thought of all the if-then lectures. So with all the composure he could summon, he opened his eyes and said, ‘Was she hurt?’

  ‘No, he didn’t touch her. I intended to find him, teach him a lesson he’d never forget. Instead, he found me, strode right into my office at the club.’

  ‘Why should I care what he did to you?’

  ‘Wrong question, Danny Boy. Right question is: why did he target Naomi? And I’ll tell you. Because this guy used to be my dad’s cellmate right here. Reggie Janes. They were in B wing together.’ Dan tensed, resisted the urge to shiver. ‘He was released not long ago and it’s obvious to me that he’d been fully prepped about details of the Hamiltons and my dad’s grudges against Henry. Knew Henry had money, so the first thing he did was snatch Naomi. Henry thought I’d taken her, which is why he rang me.’

  Dan steadied his breathing and attempted to wipe his face of all expression. One of the guards kept looking over. Dan sat back, threaded his fingers together across his chest, an attempt to look relaxed. ‘Well, maybe I should have been the one to fight for and protect my own girlfriend, but from in here, it’s a little difficult. Maybe I’d like to find that guy and hurt him badly too. Maybe there are a number of people I’d like to hurt right now, but my hands are rather tied, haven’t you noticed? So why are you here? I never wanted to have to see your face again.’

  Ignoring the last comment as if it hadn’t been said, Solomon leant forward. ‘As a matter of fact, you’re in the perfect position to do a job for me.’

  Dan laughed and the guard lost interest and looked the other way. ‘Does it ever occur to you that you’re the last person on earth I’d –?’

  ‘No.’ Solomon didn’t blink. ‘You need this job.’

  ‘You reckon?’

  Solomon stared at Dan, shuffled closer. Dan knew that Solomon wanted him to reciprocate so he did the opposite and leant back.

  ‘My father was murdered in here. This visit isn’t pleasurable for me. Dredges memories.’

  ‘My pity levels are a bit depleted. You want to swap places with me do you? You murdered my brother and you walk in here –’

  ‘We’re all happier without Nathan.’ Solomon stared.

  ‘You tell my parents that,’ Dan hissed. His voice shook. Dan scraped his chair along the floor backwards, added, ‘I’m not going to sit here and listen –’

  ‘She’s moving in with me.’

  A violent hit in Dan’s chest, without Solomon moving a muscle. Dan’s mouth gaped. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘The facts, straight up, as they are.’

  ‘She’d never do that.’ Dan caught his breath.

  ‘With the right promises, she absolutely would. She’ll be with me before midnight tonight.’

  Quiet words delivered with all the might of a tornado. Right promises? What the hell was he talking about? What was right about any of this? Dan felt weak and strong simultaneously. Weak enough to pass out. Strong enough to kill.

  Solomon had the audacity to continue, unabated. ‘We can help each other now, Dan. Here’s what I want you to do. Find out who murdered Jimmy Solomon. Find out anything you can about Janes. Report back. In return, I’ll protect Naomi from Janes for you.’

  ‘She isn’t yours to protect,’ Dan spluttered through clenched teeth.

  ‘Irrelevant. As you point out, you’re tied up in here, so –’

  ‘And why is that?’ Dan said, using every ounce of restraint not to yell or to beat Solomon senseless.

  ‘You’re emotionally incontinent, Daniel. Rein it in. Do as I say and you’ve a slim chance of getting out of here before you turn grey.’

  Dan almost laughed. He shook his head. ‘And how do you work that out?’

  ‘Simple. The key to your release is in my hands.’

  ‘As if you’d ever –’

  ‘Two things have to happen first. One, you get me the information I want. Two, I get a fair shot with Naomi . . . which you can’t stop now, even if you wanted to.’

  Dan was speechless and nauseous. Felt perilously close to spewing his lunch all over Solomon and his designer suit. ‘Any information, email me immediately and be discreet. Code name for Reggie: banana. Got it? Email address, memorise it: ozzysol@gmail.com. Small case. Repeat back. With some reluctance, Dan did. ‘Spell it out to me letter by letter.’ With a roll of his eyes and a lot of heavy breathing, Dan did.

  Solomon allowed a few moments to pass. Then said, ‘Correct. You do not communicate with her while she’s with me. Busy yourself finding out what I want to know. Somebody somewhere in this place knows the truth. Get it for me.’ He stood now. Dan was paralysed from the waist down.

  ‘You touch her, I swear one day I’ll come after you,’ Dan said in a whisper. He was struggling to breathe.

  ‘I’ll promise you this: I won’t touch her until she wants me to. After which, I’ll touch her wherever and however I like.’

  ‘She’ll never want you near her.’

  ‘Don’t bet on it. Message me when you have news.’

  A guard came for Dan because he sat looking at the table, piercing his stare right through it and beyond the floor. When he stood up to exit the room, Skinhead was sitting at another table opposite a blonde woman in a leather jacket. He eyed Dan knowingly. The look said, Now try denying you’re one of Solomon’s crew. Dan staggered back to his cell and collapsed onto his bunk.

  ***

  The guy from Denver had weighed uneasily on Naomi’s mind while she’d drifted from shop to shop with Annabel, trying to generate interest in cots. She hadn’t finished the game. The one game of the week where she’d been focussed and determined and she’d dropped out of it and into sleep. She’d wanted to prove that she could nail him, force a checkmate, finish him off. She continued to be plagued by these thoughts while Annabel finally chose and paid for a new cot, and then followed a guy to the car who was pushing the boxed cot on a wheeled metal palate and explaining how simple it was to assemble. Something about a Phillips screwdriver.

  He was loading the car now and Naomi was still in Denver with . . . what was his name? Her phone was ringing in her bag, soundlessly vibrating against some part of her. She pulled it out. Dad was written on the screen. She answered while the guy kept Annabel talking.

  ‘Hi, Dad.’

  ‘Where are you?’ His tone was grave.

  Anxiety jabbed at her. She climbed into the car to take the weight off her legs, and shut the door. ‘Out with Annie to get a c
ot. What’s happened?’

  Henry hesitated for too long.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘He’s gone, petal. The vet did what he could, but –’

  ‘Gone?’ Thud, thud, thud. ‘What do you mean gone?’

  ‘He slipped into unconsciousness and died. Right on the vet’s table.’ Henry’s voice was quivering. ‘Too late, I’m afraid.’

  Died?

  The word seemed farcical. Shadow was a baby, bursting with energy and affection, always ready to play. ‘Died?’ she muttered out loud, which claimed Annabel’s attention. Annabel dropped into the driver’s seat and shut the door on the guy who then scuttled away scraping his palate along concrete. ‘How?’

  ‘Who’s died?’ Annabel hissed, her eyes wide open.

  Naomi lips were quaking. She mouthed, ‘Shadow.’ Annabel’s eyes flooded, a sudden gush that had Naomi reaching for her hand and squeezing her fingers.

  Naomi listened as Henry’s words trickled into her ear in a low drone. With the family’s permission they wanted to do a kind of post-mortem on Shadow, to discover the cause of death.

  Naomi finished the call to Henry. The girls sat looking at each other, muted. Tears dripped down Annabel’s cheeks.

  Naomi said, ‘Let me drive. Swap seats with me, come on.’

  Annabel didn’t argue. When they’d exchanged places, Annabel cleaned her face with her sleeves. ‘He was only a baby. What do they think happened?’

  ‘They don’t know, but they’re going to try and find out.’

  She fired the engine.

  ‘Joel adored him. He’s going be devastated,’ Annabel said, sifting through her handbag. She produced a tissue and blew her nose, then pulled out her phone. ‘I’d better ring him and tell him. I really need him here. Please don’t go to Siobhan’s until he can come.’

  Naomi didn’t reply. Who was this new, vulnerable Annie who couldn’t stand to be alone? While Annabel was distracted with her phone and with finding a tissue in her bag, Naomi slid a look at the clock on the dashboard. The deadline, midnight, was ten hours away and despite everything, the guy from Denver was still breaking into her thoughts, even now. It was superstitious nonsense, but like an intruder in the house at night, she sensed him rustling around in the dark, faceless and menacing. Vincent Solomon was there too, calling to her, reminding her that the only chance for Dan required her, at a fragile time, to turn her back on everyone she cared about and walk away.