Clutch

by Drew Elyse

  Before I could speak, he started in on me. “Sandra called me this afternoon to see if you were well. She said they were waiting for you at lunch for over an hour and you never arrived.” He said it like he was waiting for an excuse or an apology. He would be waiting a while.

  “I didn’t feel like going,” I said.

  “You did not feel like going?”

  “Nope.”

  A flicker of annoyance at my language crossed his face. Of course, outright disapproval at what I had said largely overshadowed it. We had been in this place many times recently. Every day it seemed to grown more difficult to bite my tongue around him, and I knew he was not at all enjoying the change.

  “And you did not think it might be prudent to call one of the ladies in attendance to notify them so they would not be waiting for you?”

  “Oh, I thought of it. I just didn’t care to do that either.”

  “What exactly is going on with you, Camille? You have been disturbingly petulant for weeks.”

  “What’s going on is I am so tired of wasting my time attending luncheons with that bitchy wives club.”

  “Camille!” he snapped, clearly finding my use of the word “bitchy” uncalled for.

  “In fact,” I continued, refusing to acknowledge his admonishment, “I’m tired of a lot of things. For instance, you coming and going as you please with no regard for anyone but yourself. Where exactly have you been for the last three hours, Nate?”

  “You know I despise that nickname,” he ground out, avoiding explaining himself. Yeah, that was not going to happen.

  “Well, it was how you introduced yourself in college. When we met, you were Nate. I actually kind of liked Nate. Nathaniel, however, not so much.”

  “Not so much? And that ring on your finger is a sign of how little you like me?”

  “No, that ring on my finger is a sign that I, for one, have been loyal to you. Can you say the same, Nathaniel? Can you say you haven’t fucked anyone else since we’ve been together? Can you even say you haven’t fucked anyone else today?”

  He stood there staring at me like I might have sprouted a second head. His lack of answer told me everything I needed to know. He’d been with someone else instead of coming home. I really shouldn't have been surprised. A good part of me expected that was the case, but it still stung to have it verified. “Let me guess, was it the new intern? I took her to have higher standards than that, but I guess I might have been wrong.” Again, no answer. He simply cringed. I’d nailed it again. “You’re pathetic.”

  “I am pathetic? Really, Camille? Tell me, did you ever have any intention of using that degree you went to school for, or was it a way to find a man to help you escape that motorcycle gang your father is in?”

  “It’s not a gang! It’s a club, a brotherhood. They’re built on loyalty, something you obviously know nothing about! I was never trying to escape the club. I love the Disciples. They’re family. I wanted to experience a life different from the one I had always known. You were the one who pretended to be a different person when we met, Nate. You convinced me you were actually a decent human being, not the manipulative asshole you really are.”

  “You think those thugs are better than me? You think one of them would be faithful to you? Maybe that Gauge who came to visit with your father?” Nathaniel sneered Gauge’s name with contempt. “You want him? You think he would never touch another woman if he were with you? You are fooling yourself. He would be on to the next woman before you even knew what happened. You are so naïve, Camille. You always have been.”

  “No, I was a fool to fall for your act, and even more for sticking around and letting you strip me down until I was an empty fucking person, but I am not naïve. If I ever was, you taught me better,” I shot back.

  “You wanted to be here! You wanted to be attached to me and everything I provide for you! You were perfectly willing to do as I said so you could continue living this lifestyle!”

  Gauge’s words came back to me. Is it about his money? Are you really that pathetic to stay with him because of where he comes from? Was that why I had stayed? Was I so attached to the security that came with Nathaniel I allowed him to strip me down to nothing so that I could continue to have it?

  No. No, that wasn’t true. I had never been with Nathaniel for the money. When we first met, I was with him because he somehow managed to portray himself as a decent person. I agreed to marry him based on that façade he’d invented. I had stayed because…why had I stayed?

  “I stayed because I was an idiot! I tried for too long to see the best in you!” The revelation came screaming out of me. There was no stopping it. “You had me so convinced you really were a decent person, when you started trying to change me, I thought it was actually in my own best interest. I made myself believe you were trying to help me feel at home here, that you were trying to help me adjust. But you weren’t! You were trying to turn me into the perfect little wife so you could go on acting like the big man on campus! By the time I realized what you were doing, I was so apathetic to it all, there was no real point in leaving. Instead, I took to drinking whenever I could and using cocaine to mediate my emotions. You did that to me!”

  “You have been using what?” he roared. The very idea that I could do something so potentially damaging to his reputation was all that mattered to him.

  The fire I had been fighting so long to contain exploded into a raging inferno.

  “Is that all you have to say, you motherfucking asshole? I call you out on the manipulative bullshit you’ve been pulling for years, and you’re fucking concerned someone might have found out something that could smudge your perfect fucking reputation?” I was screaming, riding that rage inside me for all it was worth. “You are the most pathetic piece of shit on this earth. I can’t believe I let you treat me like this for so fucking long!”

  “Watch your mouth,” he demanded.

  “No! You watch my ass as I walk out that fucking door!” With rough, jerking movements, I ripped the gaudy ring he’d given me from my finger and threw it at him. “I’m fucking gone!”

  I went to storm past him, intent on grabbing the very few things left in the house that meant anything to me, when his arm lashed out, grabbing my bicep in a vice grip. It hurt, god did it fucking hurt the way his fingers dug into my flesh, but I didn’t so much as flinch. I turned to look at him, making sure he could see the deadly promise in my words. “Take your fucking hand off me,” I said, my voice menacingly soft, “or I swear to you a club full of bikers will make sure I am the last woman you ever touch.” I was not surprised when his grip slackened almost instantly. Nathaniel likes to talk big, but he was no match for the Disciples, and he knew it.

  I yanked free of him, storming up the stairs to collect my things. One duffle bag was all it took to hold everything I wanted to take with me. I called a taxi company while I packed. I had no interest in taking the car Nathaniel bought anywhere. When I returned to the first floor, Nathaniel was still standing where I left him. There was confusion in his eyes warring with the fury he was containing only because he knew the retribution he would face if it were unleashed.

  When I made it to the front door, he called after me, “You are making a huge mistake, Camille.”

  “No, for once, I’m really not.”

  As I made my way down the drive to the cab, I marveled at the feeling surging through me. It felt like I was burning up, like I had ceased to be a mere human body made of such fragile stuff. I was fire. A pure, uncontrollable, raging flame. Nothing could dull the light, extinguish the blaze. This was what I fought for years to contain. It had always been inside of me, volatile and waiting for an opening to escape. Gauge had set that essence free, and I was certain there was no trapping it again.

  I loaded myself into the back of the car, not hesitating for a moment when the cabbie asked where I was headed.

  I was going home.

  The chick in front of me was doing a half-decent job of working my cock in her
throat. What she lacked in skill, she certainly made up for in drunken enthusiasm. She wasn’t doing shit for me, though. I went with the blonde who sidled up to me as soon as we rolled into Sturgis an hour ago, thinking she’d be just the thing to get my mind off of the same damn face that’d been there for weeks. Too bad she wasn’t working out. If I ever wanted to release the pressure built up in my cock, I was going to have to resort to the same thing I’d done every time I’d come recently. I closed my eyes and conjured the image of Cami’s face.

  I started to thrust into those puffy fuckin’ lips, driving my cock into the back of her throat. She choked a bit around the head, but she didn’t fight me. She let me take her mouth exactly the way I’d wanted to since I first saw her. I wrapped my fingers into her long, silky, dark hair, using my hold to pull her up and down my length. She took every fucking thing I gave her, and it was incredible. I was ready to blow. I imagined her eyes on me as I fucked her face, the desire and complete submission I would see there. That was all it took. I exploded, continuing to thrust forward as my balls emptied into her willing throat. Fuck, that was what I needed.

  When she pulled back, releasing my cock from her warm mouth, I actually opened my eyes and looked down again. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Fuck.

  All at once, the satisfaction I’d been feeling disappeared. My relaxed body coiled back into tight frustration. I was fucking cursed. Cami had worked some kind of magic on me, keeping me from any true satisfaction from me until I buried my cock into her sweet body. No fantasies, no substitutes, nothing else was going to cut it. I was doomed to be a miserable bastard until the damn woman took pity on me and gave me what I needed—or until I kicked the bucket. Fuck, I seriously hoped it wasn’t the latter.

  I zipped my pants back up, suppressing the desire to hit something from the frustration I felt.

  “Thanks, babe,” I told the blonde. She may not have been the one who really did it for me, but I wasn’t a complete fuckin’ dick. I could keep that info to myself.

  She stood, looking thoroughly worked over and pleased with herself. “Anytime, handsome. I’ll be around all week if you want another go.”

  Damn. I forgot how much I loved being here. There were plenty of women who flocked to town for the week just to be of service to the bikers gathered, not expecting a damn thing from us. It was sweet. Too bad my fuckin’ traitorous cock decided it wanted to be damn picky all of a sudden.

  As she sauntered her tight little ass away, my phone started buzzing in my pocket.

  Speak of the devil. Cami.

  I considered not answering. What good could come from it? Shit between us had already hit the fan. Maybe it was better to let it rest.

  Yeah, that all sounded smart, but I answered anyway.

  “Yeah?”

  “Hi,” Cami said. “I know I might not be someone you want to talk to right now, but…”

  “Spit it out, darlin’,” I said.

  “I left Nathaniel.”

  Well, shit. I wasn’t expecting that. “You left him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Left him as in…”

  “As in I threw the fucking engagement ring back at him, packed my shit, and told him I was gone.” That fire in her voice was exactly what I had been wanting to hear again. I knew it was in her. It had even made an appearance once or twice. Now, it seemed to be burning fucking bright.

  “Cami, I need you to be straight with me. Did he lay a fuckin’ hand on you?”

  “No.” I released the breath I’d been holding as I waited for her answer. “It wasn’t like that. I’ve just had it with his shit.”

  She’d left that fucker, and there wasn’t a damn thing stopping me from having her now. “Where are you?”

  “In a cab, on my way to the clubhouse.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered.

  “What?” I heard the hint of uncertainty she tried to hold back. She thought I didn’t want her to come to me. Like hell.

  “I’m up in Sturgis, babe,” I explained.

  “Oh, shit. Right. I totally forgot. I guess I can go to a hotel.”

  “Fuck no. Roadrunner and a couple of the guys are there,” I told her, having learned she was close with the big man. “Head there, they’ll let you in. I’ll call him and tell him to get you into my room.”

  She didn’t respond for a minute, then, “I can call my dad and stay in his room.”

  “No.” She’d be in my fuckin’ bed. No questions. “Repeat after me, darlin’. I’ll be in your room, Gauge.”

  “I’ll be in your room, Gauge.”

  “Good. I gotta talk to the guys here, then I’m back on my bike. I’ll be back there fast as I can.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I’ll be there soon,” I said firmly, unwilling to.

  “Okay.”

  “Let me get ahold of Roadrunner, let him know you’re comin’. I’ll call you once I hit the road.”

  “Okay.”

  “That’s all you’ve got for me? Okay?”

  “What happens now?” she asked.

  For a moment, I thought about playing it cool, telling her we’d see, but that was bullshit. I knew exactly what happened now. “Now, you’re mine.”

  I hung up, not getting into that shit while I was three states away. We could get into it once I was there—after I finally got a piece of her. I dialed up Roadrunner, telling him Cami was headed his way and to have Slick come by and pick the lock on my room at the clubhouse. That fucker could get into anything and the room doors weren’t locked with anything great. I told him Cami was stayin’ in my room, and to make sure the boys knew she was absolutely off-limits, or I’d be cracking skulls.

  He took it all in stride, but before he let me go, he gave me his thoughts. “You claiming her, brother? ‘Cause ain’t none of us that were around when she was a girl gonna watch you fuck her over. Least of all Tank.”

  “She’s mine,” was all I said in response. He wisely chose not to push the issue further.

  I knew this was a slippery situation. Claiming Cami was complicated. She was raised by the Disciples. If shit went south, it could cause issues between me and my brothers. It was a risk I wouldn’t take on any bitch out there. Cami was worth it.

  Next step was searching out Tank and hoping he hadn’t found some entertainment for the evening and taken off. I might have been making that girl mine either way, but I owed my brother the respect of telling him myself.

  I found him and a couple of the guys seated at the other end of the bar with a few of the Mayhem boys. The Mayhem Bringers were a club based just outside of Portland. Once upon a time, there had been some serious bad blood between our clubs. It had taken some changes in leadership, multiple face-offs, and the ever-encroaching reach of La Cosa Nostra to finally bury that hatchet. Now, our clubs road together in a truce that only strengthened with time. We’d met them on the road and ridden most of the journey together.

  I walked up to the table and Smoke, one of the Mayhem boys, greeted me with a loud, “You done with that piece already?”

  “Got other business to attend to,” I told him. “Bitch’s happy to service if you want my seconds.”

  He laughed at that. That asshole loved to deliver shit, but he could take it too. “Working during Sturgis? Sucks, man.”

  “Not workin’, but some shit just came up,” I said. I laid a hand on Tank’s shoulder. “Need to talk to you.”