Clutch

by Drew Elyse

  Pounding at the door a bit later startled poor Natey-boy so much, he jumped and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he started to piss himself.

  “Gauge,” Stone called through the door.

  “Open it, baby,” I told Cami.

  As soon as she had, Ham and Sketch rushed in, grabbing Wright on either side. I finally lowered my gun as Stone came up beside me. “So the prey came right up to the rifle, huh?”

  “Seems that way, Pres.”

  I went up to Natey-boy once he was secure and gave him a pat down with particular attention to his crotch. Damnedest thing. My arm jerked fuckin’ hard just as I was in that region, sending my fist right into his jewels. Oh well. Maybe the near neutering would calm the yappy fuck before he entered the kennel with the big dogs.

  As I pulled back, having found nothing but his phone, wallet, and keys, Cami brushed past me. I tried to grab her arm and hold her back, but she shot me a scathing look that told me there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop her—at least not so long as I valued my manhood. That was fuckin’ sexy.

  “What do you want?” Wright groaned at her.

  She cocked her arm back and nailed him right in the temple with a swing that had me wanting to cheer. Hell, Ham actually did. “Get it, girlie,” he egged her on.

  “You fucking cocksucker,” Cami roared at Natey-boy, “you think you can threaten my man, threaten the Disciples, show up here and tell me what to do, and walk out the goddamn door? News flash, dick. You’re fucking screwed.”

  Sweet mother of god, I wanted to record that shit. No porn out there could compare.

  “You moronic, arrogant shit. You fucked with the wrong club,” Cami finished, then threw an uppercut that had his nose gushing like a fountain. He slumped in the hold the guys had on him, so they lowered him to the ground.

  Right when I thought my badass woman was done, she reared her knee up and slammed her foot down right onto the fucker’s crotch. He wailed as everyone else in the room with a dick cringed, except for me. No, my cock was nearly stone watching my woman take him out.

  She was spectacular.

  When she stepped away from him, I tagged her hand and pulled her against me. Knowing that we had a hell of a lot to work out meant nothing. I slammed my lips onto hers, needing a taste after that show.

  “Fuck,” Sketch muttered.

  “Damn straight,” Stone agreed.

  “Remind me not to fuck with you, Cami,” Ham added.

  I didn’t care that they were speaking. I held her against me, refusing to let her up for air. She wasn’t fighting either. She was as into it as I was.

  She could say whatever the fuck she wanted, but once things were sorted, she was coming back home. It would have taken divine intervention to stop me before. Having tasted her again, having her respond to me that way, not even God himself could stop me from having her.

  Another pounding on the door told me Andrews had made it. I went and opened it that time. Officer Martin Andrews was a stout man in better shape than he looked to be. He kept himself clean cut and walked around with an air of authority making it clear he was a cop even when he was out of uniform. Despite the leeway he allowed the club, he was devoted to the badge and what it meant. The only reason he gave us room to work was because he knew we valued the community as much as he did. Nothing was going to come down on Hoffman while the Disciples reigned. And we had the power to dispatch justice he couldn’t.

  “Officer,” I greeted.

  “Gauge,” he answered. “You got him?”

  “Right inside,” I said, stepping aside.

  He didn’t move right away. “What kind of shape is he in? Am I gonna have a pile of paperwork to deal with?”

  “Took a couple shots, all from the innocent female he held here after forcing his way into her room,” I explained, trying to make it clear how serious I was being.

  He gave a curt nod and went inside. When he got a look at Wright, the bruises forming on his face and blood pouring down his chin, Andrews looked to Cami. I sidled up to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

  “She your woman?” Andrews asked.

  I didn’t hesitated. “Sure is.”

  He looked back over at Wright, then smiled at Cami. “Good work.”

  “She’s Tank’s girl,” Ham filled him in.

  “Ah. Makes sense.”

  Andrews got to work then, radioing down to his partner to come on up. He cuffed Wright and Mirandized him, then handed him off to the rookie partner. He took Cami’s statement about Wright forcibly entering the room. Jager handed over the laptop, explaining exactly what he’d found on it and where.

  Andrews looked to Cami. “For the record, you instructed these guys to enter the house and retrieve items from the premises, which led to the reveal of this evidence?”

  She didn’t show anything. My woman had a tight poker face. “Precisely, Officer.”

  “Then we’re all good here,” he said. “I may need to be in contact, but I suspect he’ll be copping a plea rather than going to any trial you’d have to be involved in.”

  He left after that, and in his absence, Ham said, “Not as satisfying going the legit route.”

  “No kidding,” I answered. “Fucker got off way too easy.”

  “‘Cept for the beating you delivered, sweet cheeks,” he said to Cami.

  I was about to tell him to rethink the nickname when Cami said, “Call me ‘sweet cheeks’ again and I’ll let Gauge hand you your own ass.”

  “Think I’m more afraid of you doin’ it,” he shot back.

  “Alright, how about you fucks get out of here? Cami and I need to have words,” I said.

  “Fuckin’ rude,” Ham muttered. “Work on that, will you, Cam?”

  I gave him a look that told him I wasn’t fucking around. At least Jager took the hint.

  “We’re out,” he said, shoulder checking Ham in the direction of the door.

  When it shut behind him, the full weight of what Cami and I still had to deal with settled in. We were suspended in a long moment of silence, because what was I supposed to say?

  Then, I had my answer.

  “I was a dick. I shouldn’t have said that shit. I’m sorry.”

  Cami didn’t say anything back, just collapsed, sitting on the end of the bed.

  “I know I fucked up big, babe,” I continued. “What I said was out of line. I’m out of my depth here. I don’t know how to fix this.”

  She sighed, looking down at her hands as she wrung her fingers together. The sight of her nervous and unsure like that was one I never wanted to see again, let alone be the fucking cause of.

  “Talk to me, Cami. Yell, scream, fuckin’ hit me if you want to, just give me something.”

  “I knew we might not be on the same page, but I never thought you would shut me down so harshly,” she finally said. “I know I was rude to Stacey, but I thought you would still hear me out. I felt like I was being muscled out of my own life, and you pushed me harder.”

  When she put it that way, I felt about as low as dirt. “I should’ve had your back. Agree, disagree, whatever, I should have been behind you. I failed at that, but I learned my fuckin’ lesson. You walked out that door once, and I’ll never let something push you there again.”

  She looked up at me, seeming resigned. It made my heart beat harder. We were getting to the “bitch” thing. I’d never fuckin’ forgive myself for saying that to her, why should she forgive me?

  “You said it was your place,” she said instead, shocking the shit out of me. “I’ve got nothing right now. I walked away from a life where I was a pawn, living in someone else’s scripted world. I came here and let you talk me out of building something of my own in order to build with you—except we never built anything. I wiggled into your life as it was. Your apartment, my borrowed car, a job with the club. I never felt like the apartment was mine in any way, but I guess I thought you felt differently. To know I was a glorified guest in a life I had no claim on? I have
no clue how to handle that.”

  “I don’t want to throw around excuses, babe. My mind was a mess and I said shit I didn’t mean for a minute. As soon as you left and I realized what I’d thrown at you, I wanted to kick my own ass. I was fuckin’ destroyed by you leaving.” Christ, I couldn’t come up with a way to say what I needed to. Everything sounded empty compared to how I was feeling. It was all just words.

  “None of that changes the real problem, though,” Cami said.

  “What’s that?” I thought the real problem was me running my mouth like an idiot and hurting her.

  “I was not flipping out over nothing, Gauge,” she snapped, and got to her feet, beginning to pace. “Those things I said about Stacey, my concerns about her intentions, those are very real to me. The way she’s been, I feel threatened. I have to trust my instincts on that.”

  “You’re right,” I admitted. “It wasn’t until I was sitting alone after you left that I really thought back on the past few months with Stacey. She was acting off. I think I didn’t notice it because I didn’t want to, but something isn’t right there.

  “I can’t say I’ll get rid of her. I have a son now, and she’s his mother. I can’t cut her from my life. But I’ll talk to her. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her understand that nothing—hear me when I say nothing, Cami—is going to make me leave you. I love you, darlin’. Nothing can fuckin’ change that.”

  “I love you, too.” There was no sweeter sound than those words on her lips, especially when I had been scared I might never hear them again.

  I didn’t hold myself back. I charged across the room to where she’d ended up, grabbed my woman, and took her sweet lips. “You’re mine, baby,” I said against them. “Only you.”

  Our lips melded together. She was in my arms, exactly where she belonged. Her hands ran along them, searing my skin with her touch. I really wanted it to burn me, to leave scars permanently marking me as hers. If I couldn’t have that, then I needed to ink her there where she could always be.

  Cami pulled away before things got too hot, and I let her make that play. It killed me to have the cool air replace her warmth, but I let her do it.

  “Is he beautiful?” she asked.

  My boy, she was asking about my boy. “I have pictures,” I said, going for my phone. “I can show you…”

  “No,” she stopped me. “I…I’m not ready yet.”

  Knife, meet chest. Yet that hesitation was my own fault. “Okay.”

  “I just…is he beautiful?” she asked again.

  “He’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen,” I said honestly. “He looks like me. I can’t believe how much he already looks like me.”

  “So he’s gorgeous.” Her voice was sad and reverent at the same time.

  She wanted to be a mom. She wanted my son to be hers. I wanted that, too. I wanted that more than I could put into words. But that wasn’t possible.

  “Yeah, he is,” I agreed.

  After a while, she smiled sadly at me. “I’ll try. I will really try to handle this, but it is so hard. I don’t want to give you up, but this will not be easy.”

  “Easy is boring. I’ll take you over easy. No question.”

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Okay,” I echoed.

  Never had that one word meant so fucking much.

  I pulled into the visitor’s lot at the hospital a few hours later. Thankfully, I was finally showered, got an actual meal in me, and changed into clean clothes. Unfortunately, I was alone.

  I couldn’t fault Cami for wanting to hang back while I went back to see my son. It was a tough situation to put her in—I got that. Didn’t mean it didn’t suck. I wanted her in my son’s life, and I wanted him to be a part of our life together. But we’d get there—at least I really fucking hoped we would.

  There was hope still. I saw the struggle in her when I told her I had to get back to see him. That internal battle wasn’t over me seeing my boy—I knew Cami would never fault me for that—it was over what she should do. At least some part of her wanted to be a part of it all with me.

  I walked through the hospital halls, noticing the same painting that reminded me to call my mom. Fuckin’ thing was helping me out again. Mom had volunteered to go over to my place to make sure everything was good to go baby-wise. We hadn’t gotten the chance to set things up at Stacey’s, so we had to go to my apartment first until I could take care of that.

  Me: Everything good?

  Mom: Yes. Straightening up a bit. Do I need to ask about the bottles in your room?

  Me: You already noticed Cami wasn’t at the hospital.

  Mom: I see. Did you grovel yet?

  Me: Just got back from it.

  Mom: Good. And?

  Me: She’s giving me another shot.

  Mom: I’m glad.

  Yeah, she wasn’t the only one.

  I stopped by Stacey’s room first, since it was on the way to the nursery. I knocked twice, waiting for an answer.

  “Stacey?” I called, but got nothing.

  I tried a few more times, getting impatient. Finally, I opened the fucking door. I’d already seen everything and really wasn’t interested.

  The room was empty. Completely empty. It didn’t even look like anyone had been there recently. Her sister had brought flowers with one of those giant ass balloons that said, “It’s a boy!” tied to the vase. Her bag of clothes and other stuff was nowhere in sight. I stepped into the hall and checked the room number again. Right room, no Stacey.

  I went into the hall, seeing a blonde nurse at a computer a few doors down. I approached her, ignoring the way she startled at the big ass biker headed her way.

  “Excuse me,” I said, trying to sound as comforting as I could, “I’m looking for Stacey Grisham, she was in room 136B. She’s the mother of my son.”

  “Oh, of course, sir. Let me check to see if she’s gone for testing or anything,” she said, and started clicking away.

  “Is there any way she was moved to another room? Her stuff is all gone,” I pushed.

  “Sir, it says she checked out almost three hours ago,” she said carefully.

  My head filled with white noise, and I took off.

  I ran straight to the nursery, barely slowing until I was right in front of the big window. The bed from the end. It was going to be empty. She was going to have taken my boy away. I’d hunt her down. I’d…

  There he was. The little guy was asleep, exactly where I’d left him. I stared at him for a long time. Did Stacey really leave? Did she abandon our son?

  I couldn’t fucking deal. I went back to the room Stacey still should have been sitting her ass in. Instead, she was driving off god knew where, leaving her newborn son behind. We hadn’t even given him a name yet.

  She abandoned her child—no, fuck that. She abandoned my son.

  I turned to leave before I destroyed the whole damn room when I noticed the nurse I’d been speaking to standing in the doorway.

  “I’m sorry to intrude,” she started, extending her hand toward me. There was an envelope in it. “I just went to the nurse’s station and found out Ms. Grisham left this for you.”