Surrender

by K. M. Scott

  He stopped at the foot of her bed and said, “Mom, this is Shay.” Looking down at me, he smiled. “Shay, this is my mother, Alexandria March.”

  Alexandria March sat upright in a hospital bed, her stark white sheet and blanket neatly folded across her lap. She wore a satin blue nightgown like my mother wore when we had guests at our house—far fancier than anything I ever wore to bed. It hid most of her shape, but I could tell by her face and neck that underneath all that fabric she was thin.

  Her eyes were the identical deep brown color of Stefan’s, and in many ways, she looked like her younger son, right down to the brown shade of her hair. I had no idea how old she was, but she had a young look to her face, especially when she smiled. Instantly, she made me feel at ease, even though I stood there in her hospital room a near perfect stranger.

  “Shay, it’s very nice to meet you. You must be the second shift since Cassian and Olivia are leaving.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. March.”

  She giggled and looked over at Olivia, who hadn’t taken her eyes off me since I’d entered the room. “Oh, she’s just like you with the Mrs. March business.” Smiling at me, she continued, “Please feel free to call me Alexandria.”

  Cassian spoke up and moved to his mother’s side. “Mom, we’ll leave you with Stefan and Shay. Olivia and I will come back later and make sure you don’t need anything.” Leaning over, he kissed her on the cheek and Olivia did the same.

  “Feel better, Alexandria. I’ll bring you those magazines later so you have something to keep yourself busy.”

  “Don’t worry about me, you two. I’ll see you later.”

  Olivia winked at me as she left, like she knew more about me than I could imagine, and then Stefan and I were left alone with his mother. He moved around her bed to drag a wooden chair over for me, and I sat down next to her bed near the nightstand. Behind me, I felt his hands on the back of the chair, making me feel like I was truly with him there.

  “Stefan’s told me a lot about you, Shay. A scientist. That’s impressive. What kind of science?”

  “Microbiology.”

  “Interesting.” She moved her gaze from my face to Stefan’s above me. “Honey, will you go to the gift shop and get me something to read?”

  The confusion in his voice was clear after hearing what Olivia had just said. “You don’t want to wait until Olivia brings you the magazines?”

  “I’ll need something to do until the next shift comes in after you two leave, so pick me up Time and The Enquirer.” She looked at me and smiled. “I like to be in the know, but I can’t help but be curious about what Hollywood stars are doing. Do you know who I love? That Robert Downey Jr. There’s a success story I love!”

  “Okay, Mom. Shay and I won’t be long.”

  A slow smile spread across her lips. “Shay can stay here with me so we can get to know each other. Take your time.”

  Alexandria March obviously didn’t feel the need to be subtle. I looked back at Stefan and bit my lip nervously. Smiling down at me, he said, “You okay hanging out here?”

  “I’m fine. I’ll bore your mother with talk of all things microbiology.”

  His hand rested on my shoulder for a moment and then he turned to leave. “I’ll be back in a few. Don’t tell Shay about any of my more embarrassing childhood stories, okay Mom?”

  Alexandria winked at him. “I make no promises.”

  I listened as Stefan’s footfalls disappeared out into the hallway and watched his mother as she seemed to study me. Obviously, she wanted to be alone with me, but why?

  Nervous, I blurted out, “Stefan takes after you. You have the same brown eyes.”

  “He does,” she said with a genuine smile. “Cassian looks just like his father, but Stefan is definitely my son.”

  I sat there waiting for her to say something else, but she didn’t and all the anxiety I’d had about coming to see her rushed back. Bracing myself for whatever she might say, I was surprised by her next words.

  “Stefan likes you, Shay. I’m sure you know that. You’re an intelligent girl. Some people might ask what someone so intelligent would see in him, but I have a different question for you. Do you think he’s just what you see on the outside?”

  “We’re not…I mean, we’re just…” I didn’t want to lie to the woman, but I couldn’t tell her the truth that all we’d really been, other than pretending to be friends for a few weeks, were two people who’d slept together a couple times.

  “I bet you think I don’t know what my son is, or at least what most people, including his brother, think he is. I do. I just think he’s so much more.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” I said, coming dangerously close to lying since I had a feeling she was referring to his reputation as a player.

  “Stefan may look like me, but he’s a lot like his father. Cassian never paid much attention to Stefan. He was always only interested in the son who was his namesake. That didn’t mean Stefan loved him less, though. I’d hoped that because he looked like me that he’d be more like me, but it became clear by the time he was a teenager that he was his father to a T. His father certainly loved women.”

  I didn’t know what to say at that moment. His mother had just admitted her son was a man whore. What was the appropriate response to that?

  “I’m not forgiving anything about Stefan’s behavior, Shay. I just think there are reasons people act the way they do. Stefan’s father had women all over town. Besides the two sons he had with me, there are three other children he had with those women. You work at the club so you’ve met one of them. Kane.”

  She stopped talking for a moment, and I wondered if I should suggest we change the topic so she didn’t get upset. She had just had a heart attack. I doubted she needed to be discussing something so difficult for her, but she continued telling me what she obviously thought I should know about her son.

  “So you’re okay with Stefan and Cassian running the kind of club they have?”

  Alexandria nodded her head. “Everyone involved is a consenting adult. I judge people based on things other than their brand of sex.”

  I couldn’t help but like Stefan’s mother. He’d been right when he described her as just like him. She had a carefree way about her that drew me in, just like her son had.

  “I hated those women and their children for a long time. I know. I should have hated my husband, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that, so I hated the others. I walked around with that hate in my heart, the very heart that seems to not be working as well as it used to. Then one day I saw Kane. He was about nine or ten the first time I saw him, and I knew the moment I looked into his face that he carried the same hate in his heart. He looked so much like my son Cassian, but where my son had gentleness in his face, all that boy had was hate and hardness.”

  I knew exactly what she meant about Kane. Compared to Stefan and his lightheartedness, Kane was dark and hard.

  “I couldn’t walk around with all that hate inside me. I didn’t want to look like that angry child, so I worked every day to forgive my husband. Then when Stefan became a teenager, I saw he was just like his father. Females came and went—have for years—but he’s not just like his father. There’s me inside him too, and that part makes him want more than what he’s gone after all these years.”

  “I’m not sure I know Stefan well enough…” I stammered out, now completely lying to her.

  “Yes, you do. You’re a smart girl. You know what he is. I’m just wondering if you know what he could be with the right person.”

  “I’m not sure anyone knows what another person could be.” She looked unhappy with my answer, so I added, “I can say this. Stefan isn’t just the player man whore I thought he was.”

  My blunt admission made her eyes widen for just a moment, and I thought I’d offended her, but then she flashed me a big smile. “I like hearing that. You know, his brother has always been easier, even though he carries his father’s name. I always kne
w Cassian would settle down and be happy. That he married wrong the first time didn’t matter. I knew he’d find someone like Olivia. But Stefan I wasn’t sure about. I didn’t know if anyone would take the time to see what’s underneath the façade.”

  “Alexandria, I don’t know what he told you about me. I’m leaving in a few months to study in Europe for a year.”

  Her expression fell slightly, like what I’d said disappointed her. “He didn’t tell me that. Does he know?”

  “Yeah, he knows.”

  “Well, I still think you’re good for him. Do you know he’s never told me about any girl ever before? You’re the first.”

  Smiling, I said, “I’m honored to be the first. Stefan’s a great guy.”

  “What do you plan to do after your time in Europe? Will you come back?”

  “I’m not sure where I’ll end up. I want to continue my research, but I’m not sure there’s anything here for me with that.”

  I saw by the look in her eyes that my answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I didn’t have a better one. I didn’t know what the future held after Copenhagen. If my research led me away from Tampa, that was the way it had to be. I’d devoted too many years to my dream to discard it.

  “Do you know I was a nurse when I married Stefan’s father? I loved being a nurse. I worked right here in this hospital. It’s probably the reason they’re nice to me, although more likely it’s because I’m on the board of directors,” she said with a chuckle.

  “I had no idea you were a nurse. What made you stop working here?”

  “I had Cassian and became very sick after giving birth to him. When I recovered, I chose to stay home with him and two years later I had Stefan. By that time, my husband’s businesses had grown to where I didn’t have to work.”

  She stopped talking and I didn’t know what to say. The wistful tone in her voice told me she might have regretted giving up her career for the men in her life. I couldn’t do that, even if I loved someone. I didn’t want to be like her in thirty years and look back on my life with regret like I suspected I heard in her words.

  I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Stefan with an armful of magazines, books, and newspapers. He wore the grin of a doting son as he deposited the goodies on the table near the window. “I thought you might want more, just in case you got bored.”

  “My son spoils me, Shay. Can you tell?”

  “Just a little,” I said with a smile as I looked at Stefan arranging enough reading material for a month.

  “Do you need anything else, Mom?” he asked, his brown eyes wide with concern.

  “No. I think it’s time you and Shay go, though. I’m getting tired and the doctors will be furious if I don’t follow their silly rules.”

  He leaned down to give her a kiss goodbye. “Okay. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  Cradling his face in her hands, she smiled up at him. “Thank you, Stefan. Don’t worry about me. Everything will be okay.”

  “Okay, Mom. Love you. I’ll see you later.”

  I stood from my chair and held my hand out to shake Alexandria’s, but she gently pulled me into a hug and whispered low in my ear, “It was so nice to meet you, Shay. Think about what I said.”

  When she released me, I saw Stefan come to stand behind me. “I hope you feel better soon.”

  “Come back to see me again and next time I’ll tell you about the time Stefan and Cassian thought it would be nice to surprise me for Mother’s Day and nearly demolished my kitchen.”

  Stefan shook his head and laughed. “We were just trying to do something nice. Now we know that flour makes a mess when two boys get into it.”

  “He told me about how much he loves your meatloaf,” I said with a smile.

  “He did?” she said looking up at him with a look of pure motherly love. “He’s the only person in the world who even likes my meatloaf, Shay. Maybe someday I can make it for the two of you and I can get another fan.”

  “That would be nice. Thank you, Alexandria.”

  “You’ll be coming to Cassian and Olivia’s engagement party, won’t you? I don’t know if Stefan showed you the inside of the house when you were at the beach, but I’d love for you to see it.”

  “She’s coming, Mom. You’ll get to show her the scene of the great flour crime of 1996.”

  “Good. Now you two get going and do something fun.”

  Stefan and I walked out of the room and when we were far enough away from the door for her to hear what he had to say, he stopped and turned toward me with a look of worry on his face. “I hope she didn’t say anything to make you not want to be around me.”

  “Not at all. She’s your biggest fan.”

  “That’s good. I was worried she’d give you a rundown of every girl I’ve ever dated since the seventh grade.”

  “That would be a long list, I would think,” I said jokingly. “We’d be in there for days talking.”

  “Funny, but something tells me I shouldn’t have left you in there alone with her.”

  I poked him in the side and smiled. “I wouldn’t worry. It was just the woman who knows more about you than anyone else talking to the woman you just began sleeping with. What could go wrong?”

  * * *

  BY THE time I arrived at the club that night, I’d thought about my conversation with Alexandria about a hundred times and come up with dozens of conclusions and even more questions. Had Stefan told her we were serious? Or had she just assumed that when he brought me there with him? Why had she told me about his father, another notorious man whore, if the stories I heard were correct? Didn’t she worry I’d think he was as bad as his father and want to run in the other direction?

  Regardless of anything she’d said, I couldn’t help feel good about being there for Stefan. He practically beamed when he first saw me at the hospital, and after leaving his mother’s room he couldn’t thank me enough for coming.

  Whatever we were doing together, it was all happening so quickly. My first instinct told me to slow down with him. So carefree, he had a way about him that took hold of you and didn’t let go, taking you along with him. I had no idea where all this with him would end, but in my heart, I knew it would someday end.

  I just prayed that it ended because of my leaving and not something he did.

  The club appeared empty as I set myself up at the front bar and began to prepare for the evening, but within minutes Cassian and Olivia walked out of their offices in the back. For the first time since I’d begun working at Club X, they stopped to speak to me, likely thinking Stefan and I were far more serious than in reality we were.

  Always professional, Cassian March had an air of coolness that his brothers simply didn’t possess. His blue eyes, like Kane’s, were so different than Stefan’s deep brown eyes that always gave the impression that he was always on the lookout for fun. Cassian’s eyes looked like he was studying you and behind them his mind was choosing whether or not to like you. The few times I’d seen him out in the club, he didn’t intimidate me so much as make me wonder how someone so attractive could be so aloof. The idea of him hitting on me or any other bartender seemed preposterous, yet Lola had told me all about the story she’d heard from one of the other bartenders that Olivia had been his assistant before she and Cassian became involved and supposedly their romance had begun up in one of the fantasy rooms.

  The idea that the very sweet yet very businesslike Olivia had gotten freaky with her boss made her all the more likeable to me. Maybe it was because I was screwing around with one of the owners, but after seeing her at the hospital earlier that day, we seemed to have more in common. I imagined she thought so too since she stopped for the first time as they walked out tonight.

  Cassian saw me standing behind the bar and made a point to speak to me. “Shay, I wanted to thank you for visiting my mother this afternoon. That was very nice of you.”

  “I was happy to, Cassian. She’s a lovely woman.”

  “Well,
I spoke to her a short while ago and she couldn’t say enough about you. It seems you made quite an impression on her.”

  I chuckled at how gossipy the March family was. “We had a very nice talk. She promised to show me the scene of the crime from when you and Stefan blew up her kitchen with flour.”

  For the first time, Cassian’s deep blue gaze softened as his smile went all the way up to his eyes. “Ah, she told you about that.”

  “I love that story!” Olivia said and kissed Cassian on the cheek. “She loves to tell that story. It’s so cute to think of Cash and Stefan as little boys trying to make their mother something special for Mother’s Day. What were you trying to make again?”

  “Pancakes. I was ten and Stefan was eight. Needless to say, it didn’t turn out well.”

  “Well, you meant well,” she said with a giggle.

  Cassian smiled and said his goodbye, but Olivia hung back for a moment and I saw she had something to say. Leaning over the bar, she whispered, “Stefan told me he liked someone, but I had no idea it was you.”

  “I’m not sure it was me. You know what they say about him.”

  Knitting her brows, she frowned. “I know, but I think there’s more to him than that.”

  Olivia was very much like her soon-to-be mother-in-law that way. “Well, we aren’t anything super serious like you and Cassian, so don’t have us walking down the aisle just yet. We’ve just been hanging out. That’s all.”

  “I understand, but both Alexandria and Stefan made sure to tell me to put you on the list for invitations to the engagement party. You might be just hanging out, but they like you.”

  “You know I’m leaving at the beginning of next year, right? When is the party?” I asked, pretty sure she knew when I was scheduled to leave. Olivia gave me the impression that she knew far more than she let on.