Geek Actually Season 1 Omnibus

by Cathy Yardley

  CHRISTINA

  Christina awoke to the sounds of Vivi moaning in a very sexual manner. Not that this was unusual. More than once in the time they’d been together, she’d woken to find Vivi masturbating in bed next to her. This time she was really rocking the bed, though, making everything move and jerking Christina’s hungover head a little much.

  Waitasecond.

  She opened her eyes with alarm to discover a bare masculine butt pumping enthusiastically beside her. The guy had Vivi’s hands trapped above her head while he fucked her.

  Who the fuck…?

  Christina was just preparing to kick the guy hard enough to launch him off the bed when she heard Vivi pant, “Harder! Oh, fuck, harder! Yeah, that’s it!”

  Okay, so probably not a random marauding rapist. That still didn’t explain what he was doing there. Christina sat up. “Excuse me, but who the fuck are you?”

  Two sets of eyes locked on Christina as Loverboy stopped his plowing for a second and Christina’s blood ran cold. Atticus. Wasn’t he the asshole Vivi had complained about when he grabbed her tits during the rape scene?

  “Come on, Chris, you know Attie,” Vivi said.

  “Cool. Threesome,” Atticus said.

  Christina felt a wave of nausea grip her and didn’t think it was the hangover. “No. Not cool. Fuck. I… fuck!” She climbed out of the bed as fast as she could manage and went into the bathroom. The sound of the running water didn’t drown out the obvious sounds of the fucking resuming. She splashed her face, knelt next to the toilet, and held her head. All she was wearing was a ratty old oversized shirt, no underwear, nothing. Not that she would normally give a fuck about someone seeing her naked, but holy fucking shit. Atticus, of all people?

  Her stomach couldn’t take it anymore. She hoped they could hear her vomiting violently as well as she could hear them.

  MICHELLE

  What was that noise? Michelle lifted her head from where she had fallen asleep and discovered her face had been mashed against the keyboard of her laptop. Her eyes focused blearily on the screen and she jolted awake suddenly. She’d only been asleep for a short time. The noise was the cell phone vibrating on the counter a foot or two away, and the email to Richard was showing as sent.

  Her phone was gradually making its way toward the edge with each additional ring. She picked it up.

  “Michelle? You there?” Richard’s voice was deep and steady.

  “I’m here. Oh, God, I emailed you a tome. I’m so sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. I appreciate your thoroughness in examining the issue.”

  “You’re being nice. I vomited everything about the whole night into an email window.”

  “With all due respect to your editorial skill, now is not the time to be criticizing your writing.” He sounded amused, yet firm. “You had a bad experience and—”

  “I gave someone else a bad experience. You should’ve seen the goose egg on his head.”

  This time his reply was silence, and Michelle felt her cheeks heat—even total silence felt like he was scolding her. And I deserve it, she thought.

  After an agonizing interval, she heard him clear his throat. “Michelle. Do you want my help?”

  “I do.”

  “It would probably be a good idea for you to stop contradicting everything I say, then.”

  “Oh.” She knew then that she should apologize and then shut up and let him talk. But it was like she couldn’t stop once she had started. “But that’s just the problem! It’s like I can’t communicate with anyone anymore.” Underslept and emotionally wrung out, Michelle felt as if the wee hours of the night had left her with no restraint, no armor, no illusions. “Like discovering that I wasn’t communicating with my husband was just the start, exposing the entire sham, and I stopped being able to communicate with my friends, with you, with this guy…” She felt a fist of anger in her chest, held too tight to let her cry or even raise her voice. Instead, her voice cracked. “I’m poison, Richard. It’s like I’m poison for all human relationships.”

  Richard’s voice was soft but direct. “I know you feel that way. But I want you to consider something.”

  She pressed the phone to her cheek. The apartment seemed very empty. “What?”

  “Would you say you’re in a period of change?”

  She tried not to sound bitter and failed. “Of course I am. My husband just left me.”

  “So, yes. Change. At the risk of sounding simplistic…” He trailed off for a moment.

  Michelle couldn’t stand another second of silence. “Simple is good. Simple is what I can handle right now.”

  “Very well. Communication takes knowing both sides, your partner and yourself. If I had to guess, I’d say you’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand the people in your life, but perhaps it’s time to concentrate on the other half of the equation.”

  “So you’re saying I should be alone. I should go to a mountaintop somewhere and find myself before I’m fit to—”

  “Michelle.” His tone wasn’t sharp and yet it stopped her in her tracks. “You’re already on that path to self-discovery, and a mountaintop isn’t the place. The dungeon is. Roleplaying, protocol, challenge, these elements of BDSM play are exactly the thing to explore your own inner life as well as a partner’s.”

  What he was saying made so much sense, but only increased Michelle’s sense of loss. “But I’m a menace.”

  “You’re inexperienced. Do you feel you lean toward domme or sub?”

  “I don’t even know that for sure.”

  “That just proves you have more discovery to do. Maybe you’re a switch and the role you take will depend on who you’re attracted to. You need a mentor.”

  Another blow. “Unfortunately, my mentor is the one whose party I ruined.”

  She was surprised to hear a soft chuckle. “Perhaps I’m being too subtle, Michelle. I would like to be your mentor if you’ll have me. Or both Felice and I, if you’re comfortable with that.”

  CHRISTINA

  “Is he gone?” Christina pressed her forehead against the bathroom door. A shower had done her good, but she couldn’t stand putting her nightshirt back on again once she was clean. And to hell with parading across the room in a towel in front of Mr. Threesomes-are-cool.

  Vivi slid the door aside and stepped in, shutting it behind her. She was naked and the hair at the back of her head was matted. “No, he’s not gone. But he’s asleep. Shit, Chris, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you don’t do men.”

  Wow, where to start with all the things that were wrong with that. “I don’t… That’s not…” She tucked a towel around her waist like a sarong, trying to buy herself time to get a full sentence together. “That’s the guy you complained about after filming the rape scene.”

  Vivi rolled her eyes. “That was when I thought he was grabbing my tits just to be obnoxious. But he’s actually attracted to me.”

  Most things with a dick are attracted to you. “That doesn’t mean you have to invite him into bed with us, though.”

  “I apologized for that.” Vivi caught sight of herself in the mirror, did a little double take, then tried to focus on Christina again. “God, Chris, I thought you were the savviest bitch in LA. I really didn’t think this would be a problem.”

  Christina blinked, as if by getting her eyes to focus the thoughts in her brain might start making sense. “Look. I know it started out as a fling. You think you’re the first ‘talent’ I fisted? You’re not.”

  “See? So chill—”

  “But. But the… the… the premiere parties, the red carpets, the photos?” She waved her hand weakly. “You asked if I was ready to be more than your dirty secret.”

  “Not everyone is ready to be tabloid fodder,” Vivi said, her voice rough from screaming during sex. “So now I’m a dick for making sure you didn’t want to keep your privacy?”

  Tabloid fodder. Is that what I am? No, I don’t believe it. She’s just scared of commitment. This
is a test. This is exactly how you used to act whenever someone got too close. Plausible deniability.

  “But you… why the promotion, then?” Christina demanded. “Why stick your neck out to help me and get me a better job if I’m just a lay, then?”

  Vivi pressed one slim hand against her eyes, shaking her head. “And now I’m a dick for getting you a better job? You’re not making any sense at all today.”

  Time to try to make it make sense, then. “Is this a relationship or not?”

  “Of course it’s a relationship, but you never struck me as the heavy commitment type, Chris. Can you blame me?” Vivi picked up a comb but just gestured with it. “I mean, come on, you’re how old and still on the bottom rung? I figured you were either the ultimate slacker or one of those fuckheads above you was keeping you down.”

  “No, I—” Christina stopped herself as the thought struck. Am I being just another Elli? Clueless and never getting anywhere? “But this isn’t about me. This is about—” She waved her hand toward the bedroom.

  “Getting ahead,” Vivi said. “You’ve got to do what you can to get ahead in this business, or you’ll be left behind. Atticus is a good contact. He’s being attached to a big project at New Line and I want in on that.”

  “So you brought him home to share your drugs and your lover with?” Christina could almost convince herself that this was Vivi’s way of being responsible. “And am I part of getting ahead, too?”

  Vivi’s sore throat turned her laugh into an obscene tree frog croak. “Yeah, because you keep me sane. When I’m bored I’m trouble. Don’t tell me you started expecting monogamy? Come on. You’re not the heavy heartbreak type, Chris. I really, really like you.”

  And I really, really liked you.

  ELLI

  “Hey, Elli?”

  Elli was still half asleep as she registered the voice nearby.

  A hand curled into hers. “Elliiii…”

  She opened her eyes and turned her head to see Tyler lying on his side close to her. She could see him clearly in the light through the window. Neither of them had remembered to close the drapes. The sun had already risen. “Is it time to get up?”

  “It’s still pretty early,” he said.

  She was flat on her back, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh, no, did I snore? When I sleep on my back I snore. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  He chuckled and squeezed her fingers gently. “You didn’t snore. But I suppose you could say you woke me.”

  “I did?” She turned toward him and her nipples felt sore against her pajamas.

  “Lying here all night with you, even while I was asleep, I was like this.” He tugged her hand gently toward him.

  Suddenly Elli had his erect cock in her grip. Her jaw locked and her body froze, even as her mind raced. It was disturbingly warm. Does he have a fever? Or is that what they mean in books when they describe it as hot? What does he want me to do?

  “I’m so lucky,” he said, a gentle smile on his face. “Maybe it was fate that Del dumped me when she did. And then I ran into you. You’re beautiful, Elli. I never thought you were interested in me until yesterday.”

  What on Earth made you think I’m interested now? Elli wanted to shout the question but she couldn’t say anything at all.

  “It’s okay, you know. I’m safe. You look a little scared. I get the feeling you’re a virgin, am I right?”

  She managed to shake her head while she tried to force herself to say something.

  “I know I’m kind of large, but we could take our time working up to that, you know. I live in Toronto now.”

  Oh no, oh no, oh no.

  He wrapped his hand around hers and stroked up and down his shaft. “That’s it. Nice and easy. Get the feel of it. God, that’s amazing.”

  She felt her hand getting damp and then slippery, the more aroused he became.

  Ew, ew!

  “Have you ever done this before?”

  Elli shook her head.

  “You’ve never touched a dick before? Wow. I’m honored. My lady, thou art the most fair of all.”

  She shook her head and shook some words free. “I’ve never wanted to.”

  “Then I’m doubly honored.”

  Tyler wasn’t letting go and he wasn’t getting the hint. In fact, he was gripping her hand even harder and moving it faster. “I’ll teach you to do this to me on your own. What angle, how fast. Care and feeding instructions for my pet. Hah, Del used to joke it was like a dog that had to be exercised and fed every day.”

  Every day? You do this every day? Elli wanted to pull her hand away but she couldn’t.

  “I’ve never wanted to,” she said again, like those were the only reliable words she could get out of her mouth. But they weren’t reliable at all, because he didn’t understand them.

  “Until—” He grunted as he neared his peak. “Me?” He bellowed as he came.

  That did it. Elli shrieked and pulled away as hot, sticky semen coated her palm.

  He continued stroking himself while his eyes rolled back in his head and he grunted several more times until he collapsed on his back. “Whew. Ye gods. That was fantastic.” He turned to look at her and laughed. “It’s kind of surprising the first time you feel it shoot out like that. Should’ve seen my first time as a teenager. Thank goodness I was in the shower. Super easy cleanup.”

  Elli edged her way off the bed, holding her hand out so she wouldn’t touch anything. “Speaking of which…”

  “You’ve really never masturbated?”

  “No.”

  “Because your nipples got nice and hard when I was touching them. Are you wet? I give great head. And it’d only be fair. Unless you think I’m moving too fast.”

  Way too fast. Oh, my God, way too fast.

  But at least her voice was starting to work again. “This is the only part of me that’s wet.” She held up her hand again. “Gonna go wash it.”

  “Okay, sure, no rush,” he was saying as she fled to the bathroom and locked herself in.

  ADITI

  Aditi blinked as she looked at the sunlight streaming through the office window. Had she really just spent all night writing? It had been so long since she’d felt the words flowing like that! It felt so good, so right. She knew she was on the right track with this book. I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it in my motherfucking womb.

  She looked over the paragraph she had just written.

  Sure, it was going to draw comparisons to The Handmaid’s Tale. Welcome comparisons. Given what was going on politically in the country at the moment, it was time to go right at those issues of male privilege and the ownership of women’s bodies. That was what was fueling her on her writing binges. Pure outrage. She had to channel that somewhere. Better to be up all night writing than lying awake worrying about what attack on women or people of color was going to come next.

  She made sure she’d saved a backup copy and then she got up and stretched. She went to the kitchen to pour herself a bowl of granola. Almost ten in the morning! She’d have to get a nap soon.

  Her phone was sitting on the counter, charging in the usual spot. She sat down with her granola and saw the notification on the lock screen, new activity in the Slack chat. What were they doing online this early on a Saturday morning?

  From Elli. When she saw what it said, Aditi forgot all about her granola.

  Elli: Guys guys guys I’m scared and freaking out and now I don’t know what to do

  Elli: Are any of you here?

  Elli: I’m afraid to leave my room. At least he’s gone now.

  Christina: Ho, what? Who’s gone? Aren’t you at Fairy Con this weekend?

  Elli: I am at Fairy Con. I made a stupid mistake. I let a guy crash in my room.

  Aditi: Are you all right?

  Elli: I don’t know what happened to me. I just froze. I couldn’t say anything. I kept trying to figure out how to explain to him I’m asexual. I thought if he knew that he wouldn’t do this. But I couldn’t sa
y anything.

  Christina: Do… this?

  Elli: He made me jerk him off.

  Michelle: I’m here! Elli, are you somewhere safe?

  Elli: I’m in my hotel room now. He made me jerk him off and he acted like he wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend and like he thinks I want to also! I don’t know what I said to make him think that! He was all “are you a virgin?” and was trying to be super nice and sweet and I was just freaking out. Am I freaking out over nothing? I don’t want to go out of the room and run into him and have it happen again, though.

  Aditi: Did he touch you?

  Elli: Oh god you guys I think he was touching me while I was asleep

  Michelle: That is assault.

  Elli: Even if I didn’t tell him no?

  Michelle: If he didn’t get your consent, it’s assault.

  Christina: When are guys going to fucking learn?

  Aditi: When they get banned from cons, that’s when.

  Taneesha: Miche got your text… what in nine hells is going on?

  Elli: I’m scared you guys. He thinks I like him. He thinks I want to be with him. And it’s like I can’t even figure out where to start telling him how wrong he is.

  Michelle: You’re in your room now?

  Elli: Yeah. He doesn’t have a key, at least. But now I’m afraid to go out there and run into him.

  Aditi: Wait, weren’t you supposed to be there with Ruby?

  Elli: I’m here alone. Something happened to Ruby. There’s no one here to help me.

  Taneesha: Your parents?

  Aditi: She can’t call her parents. They’ll never let her go to another con again. Elli, I’m checking flights. Bet I can be there by early afternoon.

  Michelle: Me, too.

  Christina: I could be right behind you

  Elli: Oh no he’s knocking! He’s knocking on the door right now!

  Christina: Don’t open it! Pretend you’re not there

  Taneesha: And type quietly.

  Elli: I’m on my phone. It’s quiet. Good thing it’s in silent mode bc now he’s trying to call me too

  Aditi: I’m booking a flight right now. Hang tight, Elli. We’re coming.

  Geek, Actually

  Season 1, Episode 13