Founder

by Jodi Payne

  As it turned out, it was more like a restaurant and bar than a diner and had clearly been designed back in the Eighties and had stayed there. Even the music seemed stuck in another era. Not that Aubrey minded, he liked the classic country music, and in most places he only heard it as muzak now.

  The food was decent, too, and just the way Aubrey liked it. Hot, and plenty of it. He ate every bite, and then added a slice of cherry pie on top and a cup of black coffee. What he wanted was whiskey, but he hadn't had a drink since he'd started on this journey and he liked it that way. It was Aubrey Jacek versus the future, and for once he was going to try to face this fight stone cold sober.

  He looked up when he heard the bartender shout out last call, figuring it was time to pack it in, and was surprised when a man in a beat-up baseball hat and worn jeans sitting on one of the fake, leather-covered bar stools caught his eye. Aubrey looked at him a moment, wondering if maybe they knew each other, but he was pretty sure that he hadn't ever seen the guy before.

  The man stood, putting some money on the bar and headed for the door, but he turned around and looked at Aubrey again before stepping out into the chilly evening. Aubrey paid his check, tipped the pretty little waitress, and then left through the same door, not surprised to find the guy lingering on the stairs to the second floor of the motel. When he spotted Aubrey, he made his way up the stairs and Aubrey followed, drawn in by the prospect of some physical contact. He watched the guy duck through a door and into a motel room and when he reached the mustard colored door himself he found it had been left ajar. He placed his hand on it, took a deep breath, and pushed it open before stepping inside.

  There was a time when this was the only way he met men, and the only way he ever fucked anyone; wordless invitations to motel rooms, slipping into dark alleys and dark back rooms in seedy bars. It wasn't at all unfamiliar, and the only reason it made him uneasy was because it had been so long.

  The guy already had his shirt off and his baseball hat was sitting on the bed. “Hi,” he said, and tossed a handful of condoms next to his hat.

  "Hey.” Aubrey shut and locked the door behind him, then stepped over to the bed, reaching past the condoms to pick up the hat. He moved it carefully to the bedside table. “Momma had a thing about hats on the bed,” he said, the words sounding awkward even to his ears.

  "Oh, yeah.” The guy nodded. “Mine, too. Very superstitious.” Close up, the guy looked younger than Aubrey had originally thought, more like they were of an age, when Aubrey had originally pegged him as older. He smiled, but Aubrey didn't feel like smiling back, he just started to unbutton his shirt. “I'm Ted."

  They both put their clothing in neat piles and then Aubrey stepped close to him. “Aubrey,” he answered, and wrapped his fingers around Ted's cock. Ted hissed and leaned in to kiss and lick and bite at Aubrey's shoulder and neck and his cock grew hard as steel in Aubrey's fingers.

  "Bed."

  Ted obeyed as Aubrey let him go, and pulled the bedcovers down before stretching out on his stomach across the sheets. He had a nice body and a round ass and Aubrey was relieved they didn't have to discuss who was fucking whom. He stepped close to the foot of the bed and climbed slowly over Ted's back, giving into his desire to touch, lick, kiss, and stroke every inch of the man's smooth, pale skin.

  This was easy, this anonymous thing. No attachments, no questions, no expectations came out of nights like this. He didn't have to explain or apologize, he could just feel and fuck and walk away. Easy. Clean. Uncomplicated.

  Kelly was complicated. Kelly had feelings and needs. Kelly had expectations and hopes. Kelly made Aubrey want to be a better man; the kind of man Aubrey was afraid he could never be. A man he didn't know.

  Ted's skin was pinker by the time Aubrey rolled the rubber on. He was talking and his voice sounded strained, but Aubrey hadn't heard a word. He patted Ted's hips and Ted lifted his ass high in the air. Aubrey sunk into Ted, putting thoughts of Kelly and the farm from his mind and focusing on this moment. Ted groaned at the invasion and then grunted as Aubrey started to thrust.

  "Fuck, yes."

  Aubrey hissed at him. “Like it?"

  "More, man. Give me more."

  Aubrey gave him everything he asked for. More, harder, deeper, faster, until the heated scent of his spunk filled Aubrey's nostrils, and then Aubrey didn't listen to another word. He thrust deeply, driving into Ted over and over until his eyes wouldn't focus and his breath was ragged and harsh. When he finally allowed himself to come he was blinded by a flash of light and deafened by the roar in his ears.

  Ted's groans finally brought him back to the room, and he pulled out, stepping backwards away from the bed.

  "Damn, that was just what the doctor ordered,” Ted said, rolling onto his back and grinning.

  Aubrey nodded and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He disposed of the soiled condom and looked at himself, sweaty and naked, in the mirror. He nodded once before he washed his face and hands; the man he was looking at wasn't one he liked much, but the look was very familiar; that was the man he knew.

  When he came out, Ted was leaning against the headboard, flipping channels on the TV.

  "Trying to find us a movie,” he said.

  Aubrey began to dress. “Thanks. I'm headed out."

  Ted looked disappointed. “I could do with some company."

  "Sorry,” Aubrey told him quietly. “I've got an early start.” He unlocked the door and was hit with a blast of cold air as he opened it. Fall nights sure were chilly farther north. “Really, I'm sorry. Good night."

  "Night,” Ted called after him as the door closed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  "You ready?"

  "Yep."

  Carl stepped back from the fence post and raised his mallet high before driving the post into the ground. His aim was good; he hit it once and then again before Aubrey felt the post was sturdy enough to step away. Once it was well-seated, he and Carl secured the earth around it and then laid in the rails. The rails were a little beat up from the weather, but they were still in good shape and Aubrey tested the setup with his weight before he and Carl decided to pack it in for the night. The job was almost done; they'd ride back out here in the morning and finish it up.

  "Sue says you should come to dinner tonight,” Carl told Aubrey as they retrieved their horses.

  "You thank her for me, Carl, but I can't make it."

  "Got plans?"

  "Yep,” He lied. He'd learned his lesson about being sociable with farm hands.

  Carl looked at him. Aubrey turned his back, but he could still feel the man's eyes on him as he strapped down his saddle. He started to mount, but Carl tugged on his elbow and he didn't get more than a few inches off the ground. Aubrey whirled on him.

  "What's the problem, Carl?” he snapped.

  "No problem, Aubrey, just thought you might get hungry tonight. A man's gotta eat."

  "I'll eat."

  "You'll eat at our place. Sue's expecting you, and we're grilling."

  "I told you..."

  "Shut up. The only plan you got is to sit on your ass at Handlebars and drink. You're coming and you're gonna like it."

  Aubrey had spent a fair amount of time in bars lately, it was true. He looked over at Carl and scowled. Carl crossed his arms and scowled back, but he quickly started to grin and soon enough Aubrey found himself grinning back. They were both laughing as they mounted their horses.

  "Goddamn, stubborn, ornery bastard,” Carl said, grinning all the while. He put his heels into his horse and took off.

  "I heard Sue say the same about you!” Aubrey shouted, chasing after him.

  * * * *

  Dinner was rare steaks, buttery mashed potatoes, and fresh, sweet ears of corn. There was salad and bread and Sue made an apple pie for dessert. Aubrey tried to relax and enjoy it all, but he couldn't quite. He didn't seem to know how anymore.

  Carl and Sue had a three-month old baby girl and as Aubrey put down his
pie, Sue approached him with the baby in her arms.

  "You want to hold her?"

  "Oh, no.” Aubrey shook his head. His big, fat fingers would probably crush the little thing. “No."

  Sue gave him an indulgent look. “Come on,” she said, and sat next to him on the couch.

  "No, really. I've never ... I wouldn't know...” His protests were abruptly moot as Sue reached over and rested her daughter in the crook of Aubrey's arm. “Oh.” Deep blue eyes stared up at him and the little girl burbled and stuck out her tongue. “Oh,” he laughed softly. “She stuck her tongue out at me."

  Sue had a hand on his shoulder and was leaning in, fussing with the swaddling. “She likes you."

  Aubrey looked up at Sue, smiling, and then back to the baby.

  "Hey now, Aubrey, don't you go stealing my girl away,” Carl called out cheerfully as he entered the room. “You liked that steak, huh?"

  Aubrey glanced up at Carl, but looked right back at the baby again. “Oh, yeah. I love a rare steak; it just melted in my mouth. Outstanding."

  "She's a sweetheart, isn't she?” Carl asked, pointing at the babe in Aubrey's arms.

  "She's amazing."

  "You need a girl, Aubrey,” Sue said simply. “Someone sweet and quiet, someone like yourself."

  Aubrey swallowed. He needed something, but it wasn't a girl. He hadn't gotten laid since he took this job. “I'm all right."

  "Don't you want to settle down?"

  Aubrey tried to push away the rising frustration with this line of conversation. Carl and Sue had no idea about him, and that was no one's fault but his own. They were just trying to be neighborly, he knew that. “I..."

  Sue gave his arm a squeeze. “There's a bunch of nice girls at our church,” she told him.

  "I'm not much for church, ma'am,” Aubrey told her honestly.

  "I think you should come, Aubrey, you might—"

  The baby started to cry and Aubrey felt his shoulders go stiff. He was thankful for the interruption, but panicked about what to do with the infant. “Uh ... um..."

  "It's all right, Aubrey. Give her to me.” Aubrey sat stock still while Sue lifted the pink-faced baby from him. He followed her with his gaze until he was sure the baby was securely in Sue's arms and then he stood up, brushing his palms down his thighs.

  "I gotta run. Thank you for the grub,” he said to Carl. Then he smiled at Susan. “And for the pie."

  Sue nodded at him. “You're welcome, Aubrey. You think about what I said, will you? You're welcome this Sunday, services are at nine."

  "I'll do that,” he lied.

  Carl stood. “Let me walk you out."

  The two of them made their way to Aubrey's truck. “I'm sorry if Sue was too forward,” Carl told him. “There's been a big push at the church to increase the membership and spread the Word, and since the baby came, Sue's been taking her religion pretty seriously."

  Aubrey shook his head. “That's fine, Carl, no harm done. She's a sweet lady."

  "She is,” Carl agreed. “So you're not looking for a girlfriend, Aubrey?” He stepped a little closer to Aubrey than seemed appropriate for conversation.

  "No.” Aubrey blinked and swallowed. “Not lookin’ for nobody,” he answered almost weakly, feeling his heart set to pounding and his hands to trembling. He took two steps back and opened the door to his truck. “I'll see you tomorrow."

  Chapter Fourteen

  The fence was mended by lunch time, and Carl was ... just Carl, so Aubrey figured whatever he'd read into Carl's too-close stance the night before was in his own imagination. Between the heavy meal and the several shots of whiskey he'd drunk when he got home, he'd slept well, and he was in a fair mood even though the weather was grey and the air was sticky.

  Aubrey had ended up on this ranch by accident. He'd been making his way farther north, heading for the mountains, and whenever he got bored of the highway he'd pull off at an exit and take some of the local country roads for some scenery.

  While eating an unremarkable lunch at the counter of a greasy spoon one afternoon, Carl and another guy sat down next to him. They got to talking and Aubrey asked about work. Carl gave him a number to call.

  And that was that.

  It was a small farm, much smaller than Haley's, and it wasn't a horse farm either. Macy Decker was the owner and he raised cattle; mostly milk cows, but he had a few bulls as well and did a small veal business, too. He also owned a bull that worked the local rodeo circuit, but Aubrey hadn't ever seen him.

  He was living in town in a small apartment right on top of Handlebars. The rent was cheap and he used his living arrangements as an excuse for being downstairs at the bar night after night. If the music was playing and the place was busy surely he couldn't sleep anyway. It wasn't where he'd intended to stay, he kept telling himself, but he'd been there damn near six months and he wasn't getting the itch to move yet.

  He did write a letter to Haley and Thelma about a month after he got the job. He wanted them to know he was okay and to thank Haley properly, now that he had some perspective and was feeling less defensive about the whole thing, for everything Haley had done to keep his ass out of court. Aubrey was never good with words so it was a short letter, but he figured the gesture said more than anything he could spell out in words anyway. In the letter, he sent his regards to Kelly, too, and when Thelma wrote back to him, she said the kid was doing all right. She sent a box of her homemade cookies, too, which was mighty nice, and she asked Aubrey to keep in touch.

  Aubrey ate his lunch in the barn when he could, and he spent a lot of time getting to know the horses. The one he rode the most was called Zack, short for Zachariah, which probably was some biblical name, Aubrey supposed. Zack was a lazy son-of-a bitch when he could get away with it, but if you didn't let him slide he rode like a fucking fifty-grand show horse. He was light on his feet and smart as a whip, and he ran like lightning when you gave him his head. He had a bad reputation in the barn for being stubborn and mean, but Aubrey looked him in the eye the first day they rode together, let Zack get a good long look at just how serious Aubrey was about respect, and he'd never had a lick of trouble after.

  Just then he was standing in front of Bayberry's stall. She was a show pony that belonged to Mr. Decker's little girl and she was as pretty as they came, always dolled up with a braided mane and tail and her white coat cleaned up with bluing. She liked apples and peppermints and Aubrey always slipped her a few, just to keep her kind to him. Ponies could be nasty when they wanted to be, especially the pretty ones.

  "She's a sight, ain't she?"

  Aubrey turned around at the sound of Carl's voice. “She sure is."

  "Not exactly your type, I wouldn't think."

  Aubrey laughed. “Nah, I like ‘em a little bigger."

  "Stronger."

  "Yeah, well, I'm a big guy."

  Carl's voice got softer. “Maybe more like a man?"

  Aubrey blinked, a strange, nervous feeling seizing hold of his chest. “We still talkin’ about horses, Carl?"

  "We can talk about whatever you want, Aubrey.” But all of a sudden Carl was standing too close for talk again, and this time Aubrey couldn't step backward.

  "Weather'd suit me,” he said sharply, trying to indicate that he'd like Carl to back off instead.

  Carl either didn't notice, or he didn't care to. “Warming up outside. We could work up a sweat."

  Okay, so maybe the weather wasn't a neutral enough subject. “The pony is low on water, I better—"

  "Sure. I'll go with you."

  "I got it.” Aubrey stepped into the pony's stall and pulled her water bucket from the hook. It was half-full and he knew anybody could see that, but he moved past Carl and headed for the hose all the same.

  "I'm sure you do."

  "Carl, I think you better find something to do with yourself."

  "I was trying to."

  Aubrey filled the water bucket and then stood up to look Carl in the eye. “I'm not interested,” he sai
d plainly, hoping that would put an end to it.

  "That's a shame."

  "What about Sue, Carl?"

  "She's got her baby, her church, she's happy.” Carl stepped close again. “And she's ... I need more."

  Aubrey shook his head. “Sorry."

  This time Carl let him go.

  Aubrey hated that Carl had sniffed him out. After what happened at Haley's place, Aubrey figured it was better to keep to himself and not to get too friendly with anyone he worked with. And yet somehow, likely long before Aubrey went to dinner at Carl's house, Carl had figured him out. Well. Even if he wanted to get involved, Aubrey told himself, a married man was off-limits.

  Aubrey took a deep breath and forced himself to relax, and when he came back out of the pony's stall, Carl was nowhere in sight.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Handlebars was crowded on Friday nights, full of strong men with their week's pay in their pockets and pretty women helping them spend it. Aubrey had been playing pool most of the night, but he got tired of winning against drunkards and decided that he hadn't had enough to drink yet, so he sat at the bar and ordered another whiskey. Aubrey's plan to try to face the future sober had only lasted about three days. When the headaches and the tremors became a hassle and interested men got hard to find, Aubrey had decided it was a mistake to try to give up his best friend.

  It was hot at the bar despite the air conditioning, and Aubrey's skin was a little tacky with sweat. The dampness was bleeding through under his arms a little and where his shirt hung off his back. The whole place smelled like manure and men, though, so Aubrey figured nobody'd notice if his pits were a bit high.

  He'd been thinking about Kelly since his encounter with Carl that afternoon, remembering how the kid had cornered him in Haley's barn and blown his mind in the loft. He'd been thinking about the kid's unforgettable, grass-green eyes and his smooth, lean body, and how nice it had been to feel young and brave and stupid for a while. He wondered what it would have been like if he had given the kid a chance, if he'd listened to what Kelly was trying to tell him that night before he left town, instead of shutting the kid down and turning a deaf ear.