by JK Ensley
I had already made my way into the midst of my seated family before I noticed the two kneeling figures on the steps at Valadrog’s feet. They were robed in purest white, a delicate golden pattern stitched throughout their elegant raiment.
The identity of this finely arrayed couple slowly began to register in my racing mind. Vareen stood, eyes wide, trembling slightly. It almost seemed as if she were looking at me. Well, more like, looking through me.
“This day will be marked on our hearts and recorded within our history as the joyous day I was blessed with the holy, eternal bonding of my glorious son and his—”
Valadrog halted his eloquent words when his ethereal wife’s shaking hand seized his forearm. All eyes went to Vareen. And then, all eyes slowly followed her stricken gaze to where I stood amidst them.
This isn’t happening. This cannot be real. My eyes deceive me. I will destroy the trickster who now toys with my sanity, toys with my soul. I will rip the offender’s heart from their chest and devour it before their very eyes. My maddening thoughts threatened to claim my consciousness.
My mind may have been racing, yet my invisible body was frozen. I moved not, neither did I breathe. Unable to advance, too terrified to flee, I simply stared, eyes fixed on the kneeling man. I willed his regal cloak to fall, desperate for the revelation I knew would only destroy me.
Then… the golden amber eyes of the hooded man I loved turned his questioning gaze upon my nothingness.
Everything happened so quickly. I will admit to you now, most of it remains a blur within my mind.
What this joyous day truly was registered within my destroyed heart in the same instant Vareen moaned out a sorrowful “Nooo…” and Vareilious yelled to Varick, “Brother…”
I screamed with my entire soul.
I felt the pain of a thousand deaths channel through me, hollowing out everything I was until nothing but a fragile shell was left standing in that sacred cathedral. My shrieks seemed without end as they echoed, bouncing off those hallowed walls.
I willed instant and blessed death upon my existence. I willed a halt to my very creation. Only the wind came. I was caught within the torrential storm of my own self-destruction and blown away from the horror to which I had been an unwilling witness.
My screaming didn’t halt when I woke in the temple at Vandermil. I couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop it. My eyes were wide open, lids stretched to the point of tearing, painfully so. My screams refused to cease.
I was being torn completely in two, both physically and mentally. Never have I known such pain. Being tortuously beaten and broken over and over during my training, paled in comparison to this mind-altering, soul-destroying agony now ravaging my body as I lay on the floor of their most Holy of Holies.
I had received the answers to my questions, and in so doing, had annihilated anything that was left of me. Any shred of Jenevier, any thread of humanity whatsoever, was completely and utterly obliterated. In short, I was done, period. I was done with love, done with compassion, done with justice… done with life.
My beautiful angelic husband’s golden eyes flashed in my mind once again, searing their likeness upon my shattering soul.
“He forgot me… He left me… My Alzeen loves another… I am no longer his Anicee… He lied to me!” My voice rose with each word I spat out.
I could feel that same incredible warming love trying to creep back in and soothe my crumbling heart. I shut it down, refusing it entirely.
Barely standing upon trembling knees, I took a deep breath and marched out of that holy temple, never to look back.
I—as a human, as a woman, as a warrior—was irrecoverably... altered.
Never again could I be who I had been only that very morning. Epic pain and tragic loss marked me a new creature, a darker version of me. I hated her, I hated him, hated them, hated everything.
If I could not kill myself, then I was hell bent on finding someone else to do the job for me.
Ever since I was eighteen years old, I had lived in fear. I had been tortured, been beaten, fought demons, slaughtered men, been lied to, destroyed, and horribly misled.
I screamed with all my strength, with all my pain. “I am finished! This is enough! For half my life, I have suffered and bled and very nearly died countless times. And one thing, just one little thing made it all worth it. And now, that has been taken from me as well. How is this justice? I freely offered my own soul to the only human I had ever wronged. I served the innocent and delivered justice upon the unrighteous. This I did on a daily basis, yet I am denied even a sliver for myself. Why take Alzeen? Why give Varick to another? This… this is wrong… I cannot accept this… I won’t allow it… I will die first.”
I felt the icy chill of blackest hate enveloping me. I opened my arms—welcomed it, fed off it.
The temple doors swung open of their own accord just as I reached them. There without, stood the whole of Vandermil. Their shocked, terrified faces failed to stir a single emotion within me.
I was dead inside. Only my shell remained.
As I stepped into the brilliant sunlight, my lost lover’s ethereal eyes reappeared in my mind. The pain I’d thought could not possibly get any worse, ripped through me, sending me agonizingly to my knees. Screams tore from my throat, echoing across every beautiful home in that heavenly city.
Sickeningly warm blood filled my mouth as my throat was rent asunder from the strain. I spat it upon those pristine steps and got back to my defiant feet. Love would not stop me, not as long as merciless pain pushed me forward.
Vybius stepped in front of me, terrified worry distorting his perfect features. “Jenevier, my love, what—”
I roared at him as if I were a feral beast.
He looked upon me—blood covering my teeth, dripping from my chin, eyes wild and vacant. Then he looked into my empty soul. I know this because I saw the realization cross his flawless face. And I relished the moment.
“No… Jenevier… No…” He gasped out his halted words.
Every Vanir drew back at Vybius’s sorrowful cry, giving me wide girth to exit their fairytale city, unabated.
All that is, except for Vindicus, my sapphire Guardian. I didn’t see him coming. He was just there, in all his ferocious glory.
“You shall not pass, Maiden. You cannot leave this city.”
Hatred and venom dripped from every word I spat at him. If there was any human left within me, she was fading fast.
“I am no maiden, Warrior. Let me pass or kill me now, those are your options.”
“Do you think you can possibly leave this place if I refuse to let you go? In all heaven and hell, you could not do this thing. Show me your claws, tiny Angel. Let us see now who shall lead this little dance of ours. Let’s find out who’s the Angel to be most feared… you or I? Whose claws are sharper? Whose blade cuts deeper? Vashti or Vindicus? Let us find out the truth of it then. Who is the unopposed commander of strength? Come, Maiden. Let us see. Can you best me?”
“Vindicus, stop!” Vybius yelled. “She no longer claims her wings or her claws. Vashti doesn’t live in her heart. Not anymore. Do not do this thing.”
“Oh, just shut it, Vybius,” I hissed.
Tilting my head from side to side, I popped the tense bones in my neck and rolled my shoulders, loosening the knotted muscles in my back. Then, I matched that gorgeous blue Guardian’s heated glare.
“Say when,” I hissed through a growl.
His eyes narrowed. He stared right through me, gazed deep within me. I know not what he saw, but a pious smirk turned up one corner of his perfect mouth.
“…When.”
That was all I wanted to hear. With or without my mask, I was lethal beyond his imagining. I struck first.
Before the smirk was gone from the celestial giant’s lips, I flipped over his head—the heel of my foot landing solidly upon his lower back. I felt the vertebrae give. Continuing through the motion, spinning to increase the power of the next kick, my he
el landed against his temple.
Vindicus staggered, barely.
I flipped back over his shoulders, landing upon those lovely cathedral steps, but I misjudged the edges and lost my footing. Vindicus proved quicker than either Varick or Vareilious had been. His shoulder hitting my chest at full force was nothing compared to the jarring thud that vibrated through both our bodies as he slammed my back into those elegant double doors.
The pitiful sound that escaped with my last drop of air gave him pause… not much, but I seized the instant and escaped his grasp by landing a lip-splitting blow with my head. This action wounded us equally. Blood now dripped from both our mouths and the gash in my forehead left by his razor sharp teeth poured blood into my eyes, partially blinding me to my opponent’s whereabouts.
I struck and darted, hit and dodged. I was without weapon but fueled by vast rage. Against whom, I didn’t care. I was determined to take my vile vengeance out upon all creation. It mattered not to me. Nothing did. I would destroy and destroy and destroy until I finally met the creature who could give me what I wanted… death.
I taunted the mighty warrior. My bloodlust increased, my body hummed with my forgotten channeling abilities.
“Come on, Angel. Is that all you’ve got?” I sneered. “You’re clumsy, ancient, and you bleed too much.”
“That’s your blood sprinkled upon the ground, little one.” He smiled. “I shall require more before I’m done with you.”
The unmistakable sound of metal upon metal, sword leaving scabbard, grabbed my attention. I cocked my head to the side and waited.
“Hold! Sheath thy weapon, Warrior,” Vindicus shouted. “No one must interfere with our most glorious of dances. I will cease the Angel who defies this command!”
I looked, yet I did not know the green-haired Guardian whose blade now stood bare. In but a breath, I flew behind Vybius, relieving him of the seraph dagger I knew he wore beneath his robes. I leapt upon the now armed, unknown green-haired Vanir, closing my hand about his clenching the hilt. Breaking his lovely nose was the easiest thing within the whole of this battle. He released the sword as blood spewed forth, heavily mingled with his tears. I kicked off his sculpted chest, flipping over the surrounding Vanir, landing squarely in front of my opponent once more.
“Oh, Jenevier,” Vindicus half moaned. “You arouse me as no other. I have sought you for ten thousand years and knew you not when we met. This day was fated since the beginning of time. Yet never did I realize how glorious it would be, how glorious you would be. Your anger has lit a fire within me. Your darkness produces wicked desires, deliciously wicked desires. I will devour you, this I swear. Tell me. How is it you hid from me? How did I not see who you truly were?”
“You’re mad, old man,” I taunted. “Your words prove my truth. Or perhaps your many thousands of years are wearing upon your mind as badly as they now show upon your brow.”
He laughed. “Are you my equal, Maiden? Are you the one prophesied, the one who will best me?” That guttural growl resonated within his chest. “I truly hope so, my Little Fire. You can’t possibly imagine just how much. Come, let us see.”
Vindicus drew his giant blade, wasting no time with posturing or formalities. He easily swung that massive two handed sword with but one as he licked his lethal teeth… and attacked me more ferociously than any demon I had ever faced.
I dodged his deadly blow at the last second.
Turning, I caught a glimpse of one single golden curl softly floating through the air. Like a discarded feather, it lit upon the crystallized courtyard.
Shock froze me and my opponent where we stood—bewildered, stunned. My stolen blades clattered noisily to the ground. I swayed.
“My hair… you… You cut my hair…” I whispered, amazed.
I looked to Vindicus. His mouth was hanging open in disbelief. His gaze was fixed upon the shiny, solitary ringlet… as the breeze slowly carried it away, strand by precious strand. His eyes met mine. I saw remorse within them, fringed with a tiny dose of fear. Very tiny.
The now shortened curl hung down over my left eye, bouncing softly within my vision, taunting me. It was too much, my last straw, my final trembling hold on blessed sanity. Everything went black. I don’t remember attacking that mighty warrior. I only remember how my claws felt as they tore through his once beautiful face.
Vindicus didn’t defended himself. Having tossed his blade aside before I reached him, he simply braced for the impact he knew was coming. Only when the blood poured down, soaking his raiment, did he cease my assault. Grabbing me by my tangled curls, his massive hand pulled me from him, effectively halting my tirade.
“Have you forgotten your training so soon, little one? Did you forget all Vareilious taught you? Losing control of your emotions like this only makes a disgusting mess. One I shall enjoy watching you clean up.”
He flung me by my hair, hurling me through the air, sending me crashing into those pristine cathedral steps.
All present heard the audible sound of my breaking ribs.
Quickly jumping back to my feet, I attacked again. Vindicus wasn’t expecting my immediate retaliation, so my first two hits landed solid. The wrenching sound of his left mandible and right clavicle collapsing inward did nothing to deter my onslaught, but the mighty warrior himself did.
I failed to consider my biggest disadvantage of a frontal assault upon a giant. I have to get in way too close—short arms.
Vindicus used my hair against me once more. Grabbing it, he spun me around, pinning my back against his massive chest. He easily wrapped his other arm across me, holding fast to my heaving shoulders. Now, with but a simple twitch, he could snap my neck, remove my head, and walk away.
Yet, he did not. He simply halted. I was inescapably locked within his vise-like arms and, he… just… stopped.
“Do it!” I screamed.
Vybius yelled out his opposition to my demands.
Vindicus simply bent down and licked my exposed neck. “There is no fear left within you, Maiden. You taste like… like… a void.” He shuddered.
“Get her to the dome, now,” Viatrix yelled.
“No! Don’t you dare take me there, Vindicus. If you do not end me here and now, I swear by all that is rotten in this universe, I will gut each and every one of you in your sleep.”
“Truly, Milady? You plan to gut us? And in our sleep, no less.” He chuckled. “Mmm, you truly are my Little Fire. Will you burn me one day, devil girl?” His fingers tightened painfully within my curls. “Now, what shall I do with a fiery wee thing such as yourself? How about I keep you as my pet? I’ll make you a pretty little leash, take you with me everywhere I go,” he said, laughing through his words.
“Enough!” Vybius snapped. “You don’t corner a beast and then poke it with a stick. Take her to the dome immediately. You know what to do, Vindicus. I will meet you there as soon as I’ve gathered all I need.”
“Look into my eyes, good Vybius, and hear me well,” I hissed. “I hate you and every word that has ever spilled from your deceiving lips. I hate your power. I hate your magic. And… I hate your damn smile most of all.”
The amethyst man who had declared his love for me came as near as he dared. “Apologies, dear one. You have been wronged at every turn by every single person in your cursed life. I am amazed it has taken you this long to invite the darkness. You prove far stronger than I ever was. I love you more with every breath that fills these lungs. Yet you must know, Jenevier, we can never let you leave Vandermil.”
I started crying then. Even though it sickened me, I couldn’t halt the tears.
“Vybius, if this is true, if you do love me, please… kill me now. Don’t prolong my torture. I will not resist you. If you have even one ounce of compassion for me, end it here, I beg you.”
He ignored me. “Take her to the dome, Vindicus.”
Chapter 18
Vindicus
(VIN-dah-kuss)
I heard their whisperings and chatter as
my winged captor flew me to a place I never wished to see again.
“Is she Angel or devil?”
“She must be the demon, the one forbidden the change. The Guardians loved her too much. The blood she will shed should be upon their heads.”
“Vindicus should’ve finished her off.”
“Who will rest easy among us as long as she yet draws breath?”
“Did you see what she did to Vindicus? What she did to his face?”
“Yes, and with her bare hands. Her bare human hands, no less.”
“If that is Jenevier, I pray we never meet Vashti.”
I closed my eyes, willing my ears to go deaf to their words. “Vindicus, my Guardian, do not do this to me. Do not heal me. Show me the tiniest measure of mercy. End my wretched life. I beg you, Brother, please… cease me.”
“You ask me to destroy my heart? My future? How can you even ask such a thing? You know well how losing your one true love feels, do you not? Is that not what this apocalyptic outburst was all about? And yet, you would still ask this of me?”
“Vindicus, Brother, there is no possible way in this world you could love me yet, much less know the love I feel for Varick. You and I have spoken only thrice since my arrival. Do not compare your loss to mine. You couldn’t shoulder the sorrow I now bear.”
“Are you being serious, or do you jest, Maiden? How short is your memory? Think back, my love. Tell me exactly how long it took Vareilious to fall madly and desperately in love with you?”
“I am absent the recollection,” I lied.
“In an instant, with but a glance. One look and the greatest warrior of that holy city was eternally under your vile power. How can you live with us, be one of us, and understand nothing at all about us?”
“Do not speak to me of eternal love.”
“Not only will I speak to you of it, I will show you. Today and every tomorrow throughout all time and eternity.”
