Swine Fever

by Andrew Cartmel

  "Most drugs arrests are tip-offs," added Darrid knowledgeably. "The rats weasel on each other. I mean the weasels rat on each other. In any case, the vermin betray each other as they buy and sell the filthy merchandise they're addicted to."

  "So it is a drug bust?" said Carver. He checked his sidearm for the hundredth time.

  "Something like that," said Judge O'Mannion.

  "Get ready," said Dredd. "We're going to go down and take a closer look."

  Big Blue steered the airship onto the roof of what had once been the Neverland Fun Fair and Orphan's Home. Almost the entire roof had been given over to a swimming pool, now dry and drained. Giant, cartoonish castle towers rose out of the pool and jostled against mushrooms and trees and flowers that had been designed by someone who had never seen a mushroom, or a tree, or a flower. These tall, abandoned structures housed various water slides and pipe rides, all now disused and as dry as a bone while they awaited redevelopment. A sign at the far end of the roof promised the imminent construction of the "Aquatomic Fun Pool and Fission Reactor Complex - a Nuclear Excursion for the Nuclear Family!"

  Big Blue brought the airship down in a feather landing on the fringe of tarmac beside the swimming pool, then opened the hatch in the wall of the gondola, lowering the ramp to the roof top.

  "If we're selling contraband, where's the buyers?" said Streak.

  Big smiled. "Well, I guess that's them over there." He nodded towards the shadowy superstructure of a castle tower water slide. Emerging from the plastic mouth of the slide, a tunnel encrusted with dry algae, were two men. They were both tall and heavily built, though neither as massive as Big. One had short-cropped blond hair and a black moustache. The other had short-cropped black hair and a blond moustache. Their features were similar, though not so similar that they could be identical twins or clones. Streak judged them to be brothers.

  "Evening," said Big. "The Barkin brothers, I presume? Good to see you fellas. Are we on time or are we on time?"

  "You're on time," said the blond with the black moustache.

  "Now which of you fellows is Theo, and which is Leo?"

  "I'm Leo Barkin," said the one with blond hair. He seemed to be the spokesman.

  "I'm Theo Barkin," added the brother with the black hair.

  The blond frowned at him. "You didn't have to tell them that."

  "Why not?"

  "Because it was obvious. By a simple process of elimination it was obvious."

  Big Blue chuckled and lifted his large hands. "Hey now fellows, let's not have any sibling bickering. We've got ourselves some business to conduct."

  The Judges' FWP was floating in concealment behind the largest giant mushroom sprouting from the dry swimming pool. From the cockpit of the platform Dredd and O'Mannion could peer over the mushroom cap and watch the transaction taking place below. O'Mannion was staring through night glasses. Dredd was listening to an aural feed. "Any moment now and we'll have all parties incriminated." He switched off the headphones and turned to look at Darrid, Zandonella and Carver. "Judge Darrid," he said. "I want you to follow me in."

  "Follow you in? Just say the word. Let me at those substance-selling scum."

  Dredd turned away from Darrid's avid, florid face and looked at Zandonella. "Judge Zandonella, I want you and Carver to follow us and cover our backs. Do not fire on the perps unless I specifically instruct you to. Do not needlessly expose yourselves to their fire. Stay back and do as you're told."

  "Yes, Judge," said Zandonella and Carver.

  Dredd eased back into the cockpit. "Judge O'Mannion, stay with the platform. Keep it out of the line of fire and bring it down when we're ready to make arrests. You know how to operate the controls?"

  "Don't worry, Dredd, you're not the only one who's qualified to fly these things."

  "Good. Then perhaps you'll demonstrate your skill for us. Let me see you program a steady hover pattern and once you've done that I'll hand the controls over to you." Zandonella smiled at Dredd's words, imagining Judge O'Mannion's impotent fury at being treated like a novice. O'Mannion remained silent, though, and began to punch commands on the flight computer. Dredd watched her for a moment then glanced back at Zandonella. "And then we go in."

  "That's right," said Leo, "we've got some business to conduct." His beady little eyes gleamed in the moonlight. Streak decided he didn't like him. He felt his hand tightening on the butt of his Peaceful World. It occurred to him that the incendiary ammunition he had loaded into the assault rifle would make a terrible mess of a human body. He moved behind Big Blue, who seemed unaware of any tension.

  "We're here to sell and you boys are here to buy, correct?" said Big Blue.

  "If what you've got is worth buying," said Theo, who seemed eager to participate in the negotiations as an equal with his brother. Leo frowned and said nothing.

  Big Blue just smiled an even wider smile and swept his big hands towards the airship's cargo container, as if he was offering it to Theo as a gift. "Nothing but primo merchandise. You have my word, and if you don't want to take my word, take a sample. Hop into the container and choose a sample at random and try it."

  "What?" said Theo. "Right here? Right now?"

  "Sure, why not?" smiled Big. "Satisfied customers are what we want. Test the merchandise, my friend."

  "But we'd have to cook it up..."

  "Well then, cook it up. We got a gas burner you can use," said Big. "Go on and cook up a big old sample and try it."

  "We don't need a sample," said Leo in a decisive voice that seemed to cut through all the negotiations and conclude things once and for all. He looked at Big. "You come highly recommended to us."

  "Well, that's nice to hear."

  "We know that you only provide quality merchandise and you'd never try to rip anyone off."

  "Well, that's really nice..." Big fell silent. He was looking at the gun that was now in Leo's hand, and the identical one in Theo's.

  "Shame everyone isn't so reliable," said Leo, and he shot one of the dwarfs. Theo shot the other dwarf and then they both turned and shot Big Blue in the chest.

  In the cockpit of the FWP, Judge O'Mannion was making final adjustments to the flight computer when Dredd suddenly sat up and tore the headphones from his head. "Gunfire. It's a double-cross. We're going in now." The cockpit door on Dredd's side of the platform snapped open and Dredd was out, jumping across to the cap of the giant mushroom and running towards the opening in its centre that led to the long, spiral tube of a dry water slide. He had already vanished into the water slide before Zandonella could begin to react. She followed Dredd out the door, landing on the mushroom with an impact that knocked the breath out of her. As she staggered to her feet she heard O'Mannion cursing in the cramped cockpit and Carver struggling past her, followed by Darrid. The men jumped out onto the cap of the mushroom but by that time Zandonella had already caught her breath and was following Dredd into the evil-smelling slide.

  Despite all his weapon preparedness and his distrust of the Barkin brothers, Streak froze up as soon as the gunfire started. He saw the dwarfs going down, and then Big, and then the dwarfs struggling to their feet painfully and the brothers exchanging a puzzled look. And then Leo and Theo simultaneously said, "Vests."

  Both dwarfs were on their feet now, their carbon fibre vests having protected them from the gunfire. The first dwarf pointed his large weapon at the brothers and opened fire. Unfortunately, just as he did so, the second dwarf bobbed to his feet and got in the way. The blast from the first dwarf's gun blew his head off. Meanwhile, the recoil from the weapon sent the first dwarf scooting across the tarmac on his buttocks. The Barkin brothers turned to each other and roared with laughter.

  By now Big Blue was also struggling to his feet, the two bullets having given him a double pounding on his own vest. Looking at him, Blue Belle screamed and lifted her assault rifle. "How dare you shoot our leader, you bastards!" She opened fire on the brothers but the powerful weapon bucked and twisted in her hands and Blue B
elle missed, her stream of bullets flashing towards Big instead, splatting into his vest and knocking him off his feet again. Blue Belle screamed and dropped the gun, which continued spraying bullets indiscriminately in every direction for a vicious instant before falling silent.

  Only now did Streak remember that he too had a weapon. He lifted his assault rifle and blazed away at the brothers, or at least in their general direction. Leo and Theo ducked away unharmed, disappearing neatly over the rim of the swimming pool into the echoing depths below. Streak ran eagerly to the edge of the pool, looked over, and snatched his head back from a hail of bullets that came so close that he could feel a slipstream of displaced air on the tip of his nose.

  A powerful hand clenched on his shoulder. He turned to see Big frowning at him. "Come on, let's go," he gasped between clenched teeth. "Before they come back." There was the sound of gunfire from down in the swimming pool. Streak and Blue Belle helped Big limp back towards the airship and climb the ramp into the gondola. The surviving dwarf stood for a moment looking at the decapitated body of his fallen comrade. Then he too hurried to the airship. The sound of gunfire from the swimming pool continued in a steady roar.

  Judge Zandonella slipped and slithered down a long, dry plastic tunnel that stank of chlorine and mould until she finally burst out into the moonlight and found herself in the middle of a crossfire.

  "Get down," roared Dredd. Zandonella ducked behind the stalk of the giant mushroom and watched as Dredd exchanged fire with two suspects, one blond, the other black-haired. They blazed away at the Judges, then turned and fled behind a tall water slide shaped like a dandelion. Dredd rose to follow and Zandonella moved to follow him when she felt a rush of air from above. She looked up to see the weapons platform, O'Mannion at the controls, descending on them fast. O'Mannion landed at the foot of the mushroom and clicked open her hatch.

  "I told you to stay in position!" shouted Dredd.

  "The airship is taking off," said O'Mannion. "I thought you ought to know."

  There was an ironic note in her voice, but Dredd ignored it. "We can't let the airship get away," he said. "We need the contraband as evidence."

  "Precisely," said O'Mannion dryly.

  Zandonella heard a scuffling sound and turned to see Carver and Darrid finally emerging from the mushroom water slide. They were both badly out of breath. "Where are the perps?" said Darrid in a strangled voice.

  Dredd looked at him and then at Zandonella. "Zandonella, you come with me and O'Mannion on the platform. We'll pursue the airship. Darrid, you and Carver apprehend the two here in the swimming pool. Proceed with caution, they're heavily armed."

  "Don't worry," said Darrid. "We'll get the vile substance-abusing parasites."

  But Dredd was already in the FWP, and Zandonella was scrambling to follow him.

  Big Blue had recovered from the impact of the bullets on his vest and he was once again piloting the airship with skill and enthusiasm. "Can you believe those bastards? Trying to hijack us like that?"

  Blue Belle massaged his bulging shoulder muscles as he bent over the control console. "We should have stayed and taught them a lesson," she said.

  "One thing's for certain," said Big. "We're not doing business with those two again."

  "Mob," said the dwarf. "Better. Blues."

  "That's right, little fellow." Big chuckled as he steered the airship between the tower blocks. "We're the Mob Better Blues and we're still alive and kicking."

  "What's that?" said Streak, peering out the rear observation port of the gondola.

  "What's what?" said Big, craning his head around quizzically.

  "Don't distract the driver," said Blue Belle.

  "That vessel pursuing us," said Streak.

  Big squinted into the display screen for the rear airship cameras. "Looks like one of those new Judges' hover-wagons," he said thoughtfully.

  Aboard the FWP, Zandonella strapped herself in at the weapons station. "Ready?" asked Dredd.

  "Ready," said Zandonella.

  "She's not qualified for this," muttered O'Mannion.

  "I'm ready," repeated Zandonella.

  "She has to learn some time," said Dredd as he pushed a button on the control panel. The roof in the rear section of the FWP cracked open like the back of a beetle, admitting a cool spill of racing night air. Zandonella held tight to the weapons station as the roof slid quickly back overhead, folding in on itself and descending into a well at the rear of the platform. Now the entire rear section of the FWP was open to the fleeting night sky. Only the cockpit remained sealed, with O'Mannion staring unhappily back at Zandonella while Dredd concentrated on flying. The air whipped past Zandonella as she performed a final weapons check.

  The airship was directly ahead of them, floating in the deep canyon formed by two tower blocks. "Fire a warning shot," said Dredd over the intercom. "And be careful. Tyson Stadium is approaching and there's a game tonight. We don't want any stray rounds going into the crowd."

  Zandonella locked onto her target, said a silent prayer, and pressed the twin fire controls. At that instant the airship suddenly veered upwards and to the left, causing Zandonella's pattern of fire, which was intended to pass harmlessly in front of the gondola, to rip into the cargo container of the airship, piercing it with hundreds of holes.

  "She missed," said O'Mannion.

  "They took evasive action. She couldn't anticipate that." Dredd glanced back at Zandonella. "Hold your fire. The stadium's coming up."

  Zandonella was cursing her lousy aim and her lousy luck as the vast ear-shaped open bowl of Mike Tyson Stadium floated into view below them. Light poured out of the stadium, catching the airship in a web of searchlights. Zandonella blinked. There was something pouring out of the container on the airship, a liquid running out of the numerous bullet holes. A red liquid that gleamed in the stadium light and spilled in long, twisting streams towards the street below.

  "What's that?" asked O'Mannion.

  "Looks like blood," said Dredd.

  "They've hit the cargo," said Streak.

  Big Blue shook his head sadly. "I wish they hadn't done that. Now we have to get the side windows open and return fire." Blue Belle was already tugging open one of the windows. She had an assault rifle slung around her shoulder. Streak watched her doubtfully. He looked at Big.

  "That thing's loaded with incendiaries," he said.

  "So what?" snarled Blue Belle. She had the window open now and a raw breeze tore through the gondola. Blue Belle clicked the safety off on the assault rifle. She looked ready to shoot Streak.

  He turned to Big. "She might hit the balloon."

  "Doesn't matter if she does," said Big breezily. "That plastic's self-sealing. Put as many holes in it as you like and it still keeps the gas in."

  "But the bullets will go through the gas, the flaming bullets-"

  "You forget, son. That's hydrogen gas. Nice and inert and safe, won't catch fire, not like helium. Good old, safe old hydrogen." Big beamed at him as Blue Belle began to take aim through the open window. "It's the most common element in the universe."

  "And in the hydrogen bomb," said the surviving dwarf suddenly.

  For the first time a shadow of uncertainty crossed Big Blue's face. "The hydrogen bomb?"

  "Are you sure it's not helium that's inert?" said Streak, his eyes flicking nervously towards the escape pod. "Are you sure it's not hydrogen that's highly flammable?"

  Before Big had a chance to reply, Blue Belle opened fire.

  Luckily, the anti-dazzle device on Zandonella's helmet visor instantly darkened and protected her eyes from the huge sphere of flame that erupted in front of her, filling the night sky where the airship had been but a moment earlier.

  The harness that held her to the weapons station saved her from the worst of the shockwaves of flaming gas that rippled out from the exploding airship. The titanic sound of the explosion, magnified by the endless walls of concrete, deafened Zandonella, and even attracted the attention of the crowd
down below in Tyson. They stared up at the fireball in the night sky and then returned to watching the half-time holographic advertisements, which were slightly more spectacular.

  Dredd lowered the roof of the vehicle again, like a beetle's shell closing to conceal its wings, and came back to help Zandonella unstrap herself from the weapons station. The huge flare of burning hydrogen faded in the night sky.

  "So much for the evidence," said Dredd.

  When they returned the FWP to Tek-Division they found Darrid and Carver waiting for them. O'Mannion sized up the situation at a glance and stalked off without bothering to hear their report. Dredd said nothing as Darrid haltingly explained how the two men from the rooftop swimming pool had managed to escape. Dredd simply waited for Darrid to stop talking, then turned and walked away. Carver gave Zandonella a shame-faced look. She took pity on him.

  "We didn't do much better," she whispered as they walked away from the docking bay. "The airship we were pursuing managed to blow itself up."

  "I heard, but not before pouring blood everywhere." Zandonella's stomach turned over at the memory. Carver lowered his voice. "I heard that they were cannibals."

  "What?"

  "Selling human meat. That's what they were smuggling. It wasn't drugs at all."

  "Cannibals?" said Zandonella. "Human meat?"

  Carver shrugged. "That was the tip-off your boss O'Mannion received."

  Zandonella stopped and looked at him. It was possible, she decided. Stranger things had happened in the Big Meg. "Well the blood will tell us if it's human. Has it been analysed yet?"