Just Can't Let Go

by Mary B. Morrison

  “No, bitch! I’m done with your trifling ass! I’m glad I had a miscarriage.” All I could do now was pray I was really pregnant so I wouldn’t have to have sex with a stranger in order to collect my inheritance.

  Spencer texted me, Alexis PLEASE tell me you don’t have HIV.

  I hit him back, This here shit is all your fault! Fucking around with Charlotte and shit!

  Soon as I hit send, I laughed. I was so caught up in my lies that I believed I really lost a baby I never had. Oh well, let him sweat it out. I’d call Spencer after I left James’s and give my brother the rundown on my test results.

  CHAPTER 31

  Devereaux

  Executed contract and a check for five grand were in my purse. I valet parked at Brio on Peachtree Street. Entering the restaurant, Mercedes was seated at the bar with two glasses of Rosa. She knew to deviate from my normal cabernet to this delicious red sangria I ordered every time we came here.

  “You’re early,” I said, giving her a hug.

  “When you’re early, you’re on time. When you’re on time, you’re late. You can’t walk through the door and start at the same time, but I was hoping you’d arrive ahead of the rest. We need to talk. I changed our seating from the main dining area to the private room.”

  That was my take-charge don’t-need-anybody’s-permission sister. Mercedes approached the hostess. “We’re taking our cocktails to our table. Don’t bring anyone to the room until they’re all here. Got that?”

  “Of course, Mrs. Mercedes. Right this way.”

  “And bring the cabernet, chardonnay, champagne, and appetizers I ordered soon as everyone is seated.”

  So she did order a cabernet. Depending on how my family meet-up went, I might need a bottle for myself.

  “Yes, Mrs. Mercedes.”

  I was immediately relieved. Going from Phoenix being kicked out by Trés and the police to his constantly calling me, I didn’t want to coordinate the details for my get-together.

  “Thanks for handling everything.” Not that I needed to say that, but I was appreciative of my sister lending a hand.

  “Not trying to take over your meeting, but I’m paying my nanny by the hour to sit with the twins. I do not have all night to wait for everyone to decide what they wanted to eat and drink.”

  I whispered in her ear, “Since when did you stop using your last name?”

  Mercedes spoke loud. “Since I told Benjamin last night we’re getting a divorce.”

  I waited until the hostess left our area. “Is it that serious? I mean, you had to have just found out for sure that he was doing something.” I couldn’t even say the word cheating to her. “Don’t you want to try to work it out for your kids?”

  Please give me inspiration here, Sis, I thought, praying she wouldn’t let her marriage end without a fight.

  “It’s not when I found out. It’s what Dakota gave me. I can’t make my husband love me if he’s in love with another woman. Look at this,” she said, clicking play on a video.

  The first was Benjamin dining with the woman in the photo Alexis had texted. They left the restaurant, drove up to a modest townhouse development.

  “They’re going to her house where I assume his ass is right now,” Mercedes said, stopping the video. “I put him out. If he were so innocent, why the hell didn’t he put up a fight? Huh?”

  I embraced my sister. She gave me a brief hug, then pushed me away.

  Concerned about my sister and her kids, I asked, “What did he say when you showed him this?”

  “Nothing. No explanation. He just packed a bag, told me he’d pick up the kids this weekend, then he walked out.”

  Whoa. I knew the expression on my face was a blank stare. Mercedes started crying. I gave her another hug. I was the eldest, but she was always the strongest of us all. The one who held it all together. The proudest when she’d dragged out the words, My husband.

  “If he thinks he’s taking our kids to her house, that’s not happening,” she said.

  Wow. I was in shock. If there ever were one, Benjamin always seemed like the perfect husband. “Do you know how long they’ve been dating?”

  My sister stopped crying, removed a tissue from her purse, dried her face. “What difference does it make? My marriage is over. And I’m going to make him pay emotionally, financially, and physically. What did I do to him to deserve this?”

  Our mom entered the room with Dakota, Sandara, and Alexis.

  “Great, everyone is here,” I said, standing, attempting to draw their attention toward me. Giving everyone a hug, I sat at the head of the table, then asked Dakota, “Please, sit next to me.”

  My mom and Alexis held on to each other. I overheard Mom say to Alexis, “Thanks again for the roses. They’re beautiful and so are you.” What roses? That was unusual.

  Mercedes was to my right. Mom sat next to her. Dakota sat next to me. Alexis sat next to her. Sandara sat beside Alexis. The food and drinks arrived. The waitress filled everyone’s goblet with their wine selection.

  Regaining her composure, Mercedes ordered the waitress, “Hold off on opening the champagne. Do not come back in. I’ll advise you when we’re ready.”

  I admired Mercedes. She’d started her business Crystal Clear Consulting when she graduated from college with a marketing degree.

  “What’s this occasion for, Devereaux?” our mom asked. “I thought I was having dinner with just you?”

  I told her, “Mom, I need for you to support me on this. I didn’t want anyone to find out about what I’m doing from another source, so I invited you all here to get the details at the same time.”

  My mother responded, “I’m listening.” She folded her arms as though she’d rather be someplace else.

  Dakota chimed in, “If you don’t mind, Devereaux, I’ll take it from here.”

  Sipping my sangria, I nodded. “Please do.”

  “Devereaux has hired me to do an investigation on Phoenix Watson.”

  Alexis said, “That’s what’s up.”

  Mom looked at my private detective. “And you are?” Then she faced Alexis, who was seated directly across the table. “And why is this a good thing?”

  Alexis sighed. Her mouth twisted before she said, “Because—”

  Trying not to let attitudes escalate to an argument, I interjected, “Mom—”

  Dakota interrupted me, “If you don’t mind, Devereaux, I’ll continue.”

  I nodded.

  “As you should know, the growing buzz for Sophisticated Side Chicks ATL has gone viral. Previews of the pilot and photos from the shoot yesterday and today are trending, and taping of the first episode starts Monday. Every week Devereaux is going to become increasingly popular. She is doing the smartest thing any successful woman can do and that’s hire a private investigator like myself to check out her fiancé’s background and whereabouts.” She looked at Mother. “To answer your question, my name is Dakota Justice.”

  Mom said, “Hmm.”

  Dakota continued. “Everyone has something they’re not proud of. That’s understandable.”

  God knew that was the truth for my family, including me. My disgrace was having a baby out of wedlock. I vowed not to be like Mother. We were different, but Mercedes was the only one who’d married. Although she had problems, it was with her husband, not her fiancé.

  “What I’m searching for is anything that would damage Devereaux’s reputation or show cause why Devereaux should not marry Phoenix Watson. I’ll report my findings immediately. What you do with the evidence I present is up to you, Devereaux.”

  I glanced at Mercedes, then at my mom and other sisters. “Does anyone have any questions for Dakota?”

  “May I have your card?” my mom asked.

  We all looked at her.

  “Of course.” Dakota handed my mom, Alexis, and Sandara a card.

  “Mercedes, don’t you want one too?” my mom asked.

  Mercedes answered, “I’m good. Thanks.”

  “
Well, if no one has any questions,” my mom said, “this is a good time to let you girls know I got a promotion to corporate.”

  “Mom, that’s wonderful!” Mercedes gave our mother a long hug.

  We all congratulated her. I was proud of our mom. Now that I thought about it, our mother never gave up on anything or anyone of us.

  “I want to thank you, Mother, for being the best mom you knew how,” I said. “I know I don’t always express my gratitude, but I love you, Mom.”

  I wasn’t the best at telling people how I felt. I was learning that good intentions alone weren’t always enough. People outside of Phoenix and Nya needed to hear my appreciation.

  Tears glazed my mother’s eyes. “You don’t know how much your words mean.”

  “You are the best mom,” Sandara said. “Because you made it with four of us, I’m working on doing better for my three kids. I got a modeling contract and I’m going back to college.”

  Mother smiled. “So that’s the secret you didn’t want to tell me about?”

  Softly, Sandara answered, “Yes.”

  “Well, this is the most awesome news of the day,” Mom said.

  Alexis hugged Sandara. “I knew you could do it, Sis. If you need me to babysit, I’m here for you. But don’t put too much on your schedule at once. College is demanding.”

  “How are you doing with the pregnancy?” Sandara asked Alexis. “If you need any advice about kids, I’ve got lots of it.”

  Tears streamed down our mom’s face. Mercedes dapped a napkin on Mom’s cheeks, then told Alexis, “Don’t call her. Ask me.”

  Alexis said, “I have a confession.”

  “Here we go,” Mercedes said.

  Dakota chimed in. “Let her finish. This is all good healing and cleansing.”

  “James had me take an HIV test along with him.”

  Our mother’s eyes grew wider than everyone else’s.

  Mercedes gasped, “Child, you’d better not be.”

  Alexis rolled her eyes at Mercedes, then vehemently replied, “I’m not. You might want to check your own status.”

  I hadn’t noticed our mother was holding her breath until she exhaled. “Then what’s the confession, Alexis?”

  “He snuck in a pregnancy test and found out that I’m not pregnant, so we ended it. I was pregnant, but I miscarried at the hospital after Charlotte kicked me in my stomach. It was probably best because honestly I didn’t know who the father was.”

  “So you lost the child before the family gathering at your house and you lied to all of us. You’re worse than a man,” Mercedes said.

  Dakota shook her head at Mercedes. “Don’t make Alexis shut down just when she’s opening up.”

  Mercedes said, “She needs to shut it down. Meaning that vagina of hers.”

  “I second that,” our mother added.

  “Whatever. This is my body. I convinced Spencer not to tell anyone and he agreed. You guys know Conner is dead. I hope you come to the service to support me. What I haven’t told any of you is, he left me his house and four expensive luxury cars.”

  When Alexis told us where the house was and what kind of cars she now owned, I could’ve fallen out of my chair. She added, “And he left me two and a half million dollars. Soon as I get a lawyer to confirm everything, I’ll be the richest one in our family.”

  “What the hell!” Our mom shouted, “That’s my back child support!” Mom started laughing. “Call Kendall. Have him verify everything. Knowing Conner, it’s more like two dollars and fifty cents.”

  Alexis opened her purse. Rolled four luxury car keys on the white tablecloth like they were dice. “I inherited these, too, Mother. A broke man cannot afford this collection. Boop!”

  Sandara snatched the key to the Porsche. “Mine!”

  We were all shocked when Alexis said, “Keep it. If the trust is legit, I’ll give you the car. But all of the inheritance isn’t even mine unless I’m pregnant, Mother.”

  “But you’re not,” Sandara cried. “We could’ve been ballin’.”

  “But the good news is James and I tried again and I am pregnant now.”

  “What in the world. Girl, what drugs are you on?” Mercedes said.

  “After the HIV test, I spent the weekend with James. We got down the entire weekend. I took a home test and it’s positive. I’m having his baby.”

  Mother asked, “Chile, one of these days. Does James know?”

  Alexis shook her head. “And I’d like to keep it that way, Mother.”

  “Chile, now I’m glad I’m moving to Charlotte this weekend,” our mother said. “I need a break from the madness. My new job is based there.”

  “That’s wonderful! Everything is simply peachy!” Mercedes stood, downed the rest of her wine. “I’m going to request that bottle of champagne. I need another drink. And all this testosterone right here!” Mercedes twirled her finger in everyone’s direction. “Devereaux, you can create a new television show. Call it Crystal Balls!”

  CHAPTER 32

  Phoenix

  Dev and I were going to be together forever.

  All couples had rough patches that tested the strength of their relationship. For men, we dealt with stress by ejaculating. Like my man Marvin Gaye song, Sexual Healing, penetration always helped relieved my frustrations. Since I wasn’t getting it at home, at least I had a steady side and didn’t have randoms in a rotation.

  “Daddy, where’s Mommy?” Nya asked.

  That was a good question. Nya and I had made it to Ebony’s. We were on the couch. Strands of hair had separated from the pom-pom I’d given her this morning. I tried to gather the wiry edges, smoothed them out without having to untie her pink ribbon. My attempt made it worse. More hairs popped out. I left it alone. Ebony could touch up Nya’s hair when she got home.

  This was the first time I’d brought my little girl here. She wasn’t old enough to understand what I was really doing. Nya opened her mouth wide, yawned in my face.

  “Hang in there, baby girl,” I told her. “Food is on the way.”

  Ebony should’ve been here by now. I texted her, How much longer? Nya is restless.

  Wish I had a definitive answer for my daughter on her mother’s whereabouts. I told her the truth. “Baby, I don’t know where your mommy is. What cha wanna watch on TV? The Disney Channel?”

  “Where’s Mommy? I want my mommy. I wanna go home, Daddy.” Nya rubbed her eyes.

  I’d spent more time with our daughter than Dev. The days Nya was at home, she was usually asleep when Dev left for work. The same when Dev came in. But this whining for her mom was new.

  Nya yawned again. Good. Hopefully she’d be ready for a nap soon. I turned to the Disney Channel. Austin and Ally was on. I leaned my little girl’s head on my chest. My mom had let her pick out her clothes this morning. Nya had on pink everything. Sparkling tennis shoes. Shorts. Sleeveless T-shirt.

  Nya shook her head. Her eyes slowly closed. She stretched them wide. “I wanna go to Grandma’s.”

  My mom hadn’t called me since she’d taken off for her so-called vacation. Bet if I drove by her house she was there.

  “Daddy, whose house is this?”

  I scratched my head. “My friend. Marvin,” I lied.

  “Where’s Marbin.”

  “Mar-vin. V, not B, baby.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Me too. Marvin’s wife is bringing us something to eat any minute now.”

  I texted Ebony, Where are you? Nya and I are starving!

  Nya fell asleep in my arms. No response from Ebony. She was starting to piss me off again. Maybe I should take a break from Ebony, deal with my home-front bullshit. I put Nya in the bed downstairs, tucked her in, left the door open so I could hear if she got up. Lying across the sofa, I changed the station to ESPN for the sports ten o’clock news.

  Heard Ebony’s car enter the driveway. I bit my bottom lip, stayed put on the couch. The jingle of keys at the front door made me flaming hot. She’d best have a
justification for making my baby go to bed hungry.

  “Hey, my babe,” Ebony said all cheery and shit. “I got us takeout from Houston’s. Chicken fingers for Nya. Where is she?”

  “She’s two. McDonald’s would’ve been better,” I said. I didn’t look over my shoulder. Did not want to see her face. “And she’s asleep in the bedroom down here.”

  “Well, if that’s what she likes, it’s time to introduce her to something new. I got you the Hawaiian rib eye medium.”

  “I prefer medium-well. You know that.”

  She snapped, “Of course I do. By the time you heat it up it’ll be perfect.”

  This time I stood, followed her into the kitchen. “If you had brought your ass straight home instead of getting here three hours late, I wouldn’t have to reheat it.”

  Lowering her voice, Ebony told me, “I have to get up early. Why don’t you and Nya take your meals to your house? I’m sure Devereaux is wondering where you are.”

  Smart-ass.

  Damn, Ebony was fine as hell. I pulled her dress over her hips, picked her up, sat her on the island in the kitchen. Removing her panties, I rummaged through the bag that was on the counter. “Lay back,” I told her.

  “Phoenix, what if Nya wakes up?”

  “She’s asleep. Relax,” I said, opening what I assumed was my baked potato.

  Scooping two fingers away from the peel, I topped it with sour cream, chives, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. I smeared her clit, then sucked it all off. “I’ma feast on you and eat my dinner at the same time.”

  I rubbed my teriyaki glazed rib eye between her lips, then ate her sweet pussy until she came on my tongue. As she screamed, I hurried to cover her mouth.

  My dick was rock solid. He wanted in. I deserved to release my frustration inside of Ebony. “Stand up and lean on the counter,” I said, unzipping my pants.

  She squatted between my thighs. Her mouth opened wide. Damn near swallowed all of my dick. I watched my head disappear into her mouth, then my shaft, all the way to my balls. She came up, drooled on my dick, suctioned him in.