Way of the Pilgrim

by Matt

  "Silence!" said Lyt Ahn.

  His voice was not raised, but his eyes for a second were fixed on a pinpoint of surface between Shane's eyebrows. "I was approached by Laa Ehon on this matter," he continued "since my favor was involved in any purchase of you from me, and matters being as they are between us at the moment, it was not practical that he accept the duty of a future favor to be made to me. Therefore, he asked that I simply make a gift of you to him."

  Lyt Ahn paused. This time, Shane wisely said nothing.

  "Laa Ehon," said the First Captain, "is a senior officer of immaculate record. He has had marked success in improving production in certain areas already where his Government Units have been at work for at least a few weeks. In courtesy I could hardly refuse him a gift, unusual as it was for him to ask it of me, rather than I, myself, volunteer the offer of it to him. Still, there are precedents "

  For a second Lyt Ahn's thoughts seemed to go elsewhere.

  "In courtesy," he repeated, after a moment, "I could hardly refuse him. At the same time, it was only reasonable that under our present circumstances I might not wish to make of you an outright gift to him. Accordingly, I have done what amounts to the same thing—made you available to him on a permanent loan."

  He paused. The sharp focus of his eyes had relaxed.

  "Do you understand what a permanent loan is, little Shane-beast?"

  "No, I do not, immaculate sir."

  "It means that you are his for as long as either of us shall live. On his death, you would be permanently returned to me. On my death you would be permanently returned to my heirs. Also, on a permanent loan, it is understandable that some conditions be made. Since you are actually still my property and part of my Corps of Courier-Translators, one condition I made was that you should be free to return whenever you considered it necessary to inform yourself of changes in your Corps, so that if necessary you would be able to resume your duties there. This need to return is written into the understanding covering the permanent loan between Laa Ehon and myself; and it takes precedence over any other order, any emergency."

  Lyt Ahn paused. Again his eyes were focused on a pinpoint area of Shane's forehead.

  "It is understood that you will not abuse this privilege," he said.

  "I understand, immaculate sir," said Shane.

  "At the same time there is more at stake here than appears on the surface " Lyt Ahn hesitated, as if it was painful for him to continue. The silence stretched out between them. The First Captain's eyes were focused on the nothingness of the gray that surrounded them.

  "I am always at my master's service," murmured Shane finally.

  Lyt Ahn's eyes came back to him.

  "I know that, little Shane-beast," he said. "I know that. That's why I'm choosing to speak to you now about things that—things that are not normally talked about between Aalaag and beast."

  Once more there was a long silence on the part of Lyt Ahn. Shane waited patiently for it to pass. A part of his mind was in turmoil, trying to adjust to the thought of life as a beast of Laa Ehon's, trying to fit this in with the plans he had announced to Wong and Shepherd.

  "I do not know," said Lyt Ahn at last—and Shane, watching, understood that the Aalaag was speaking more to himself than to any beast that might be closeted with him. "I do not know if we will any longer be worthy of our worlds, once we regain them. They will have to be rebuilt, of course. They will have made slag-heaps and mud catacombs of our forests and prairies. They will have fouled our lakes and streams and oceans. But there are ways to repair such things. We will have to replace our flora and fauna; but we have carried all these years the germs of the lives that will do that, once the land is again ready for them...."

  He turned his head to look at Shane; but he looked blindly, more through Shane than at him.

  "All might be made the same. But ourselves? We are no longer what we were when They came. Time—the thousands and thousands of your years, little Shane-beast, have made us into another people, of necessity. What will we be like, back on our own land, but with no beasts to be our servants, and only ourselves to hold to the code that the necessity of survival has kept alive in us?"

  He looked away again from Shane.

  "No," he said, in a musing tone, "we are not the same. This long time has been an unnatural time for us, and we, even we, have become in some ways unnatural. We are not all that we were—all that we could be; and this affects some of us more than others."

  He looked directly at Shane; and this time he was seeing Shane.

  "It is unthinkable that an Aalaag should ask a beast to report on the behavior of another Aalaag," he said—and hesitated.

  "If the immaculate sir will permit," said Shane quickly, "I was asked a question by Laa Ehon, which as a beast of the First Captain I should perhaps report to him."

  "A question?"

  Lyt Ann's eyes drew together once more to focus on the single point between Shane's eyebrows.

  "What was this question?" asked Lyt Ahn.

  "The immaculate sir who is Laa Ehon," said Shane delicately, "inquired of me how well I liked my master."

  Lyt Ahn's gaze tightened and tightened, until Shane could almost feel the focus of his gaze burning like the light of a laser into the skin of his forehead.

  "This is the truth, Shane-beast?"

  "Even if I should be questioned by my masters, they would find out only that it is the truth and all of the truth," said Shane.

  There was a terrible silence. "And what did you answer?"

  "I said that I had had no master but one and wanted no other."

  "I see."

  The focus of Lyt Ahn's gaze moved off Shane. The silence came back. But this time it did not last long. Lyt Ahn looked at Shane.

  "You are not only wise, but a kindly small beast," he said. "Perhaps I may be forgiven in that I have been easier on you than on some of my other beasts. You've made what I have to say to you easier; and I think you knew that you were doing that; and I appreciate the effort."

  "My master praises me too highly," murmured Shane.

  "I praise neither too highly, nor not highly enough!" said Lyt Ahn sharply. "I only note the fact and the truth. Now listen and remember what I tell you."

  "Yes, immaculate sir."

  "Good. What you are to understand and remember is that it is possible—rare, but possible—even for an Aalaag to become less than perfectly well. You must also understand and remember that, although I have lent you to Laa Ehon on a permanent basis, you remain my beast. The time may come when you may wish to return for a visit to me—that has been provided for, as I explained to you earlier. Be sure of that. There can be no moment when you are in service to Laa Ehon that you cannot say to him, or to those who are officers under his command, that you must return to me. And there cannot be any thought in the mind of any of them, including the immaculate sir Laa Ehon himself, that you should not be permitted to go."

  The heavy voice stopped speaking.

  "I understand, and I will remember, immaculate sir," said Shane.

  "When you return to me, in no case will you make a report to me," said Lyt Ahn strongly. "You will only answer what questions I may put to you. You understand this?"

  "I understand, immaculate sir."

  "Good."

  The gray flashed once again about them and they sat in the office of Lyt Ahn facing each other.

  "You may go," said Lyt Ahn. Shane rose.

  "One more thing—," he said quickly, daring greatly. "The beast who is my assistant—may it go with me?"

  Lyt Ahn stared at him.

  "I have lent Laa Ehon one beast, not two," he said at length. "It will be found duties here."

  "If the immaculate sir pleases—" Shane left the words hanging.

  "You have some special reason for wanting this other beast with you?" demanded the First Captain. "What is it?"

  "Most immaculate sir, it is a female and we are contemplating mating. As the immaculate sir has perhaps heard,
among certain of us beasts—and it and I are such ones—-matings are for life. I would prefer not to be parted from it."

  Lyt Ahn sat still, thinking.

  "I cannot give another beast to Laa Ehon," he said at last. "The beast you refer to, however, will be placed on indefinite leave and sent home to Milan, Italy, from which it came, as I understand. You will therefore be able to see it from time to time."

  "Yes, immaculate sir."

  "Go."

  "Yes, immaculate sir."

  Maria was waiting for him outside in the hall. She opened her mouth as he came out of the doors of Lyt Ahn's offices, then closed it again at his sudden frown. In silence they went back to their quarters; but once in them she turned and threw her arms around him.

  "What is it, Shane?" she burst out. "In the name of God, I can tell something terrible's happened! What is it?"

  Gently he took her arms from around him and made her sit down. He sat down beside her with his arms around her.

  "It's not that bad," he said. "We're going to be separated; but we'll be in the same city and, depending on how liberal Laa Ehon is with his beasts, I may be able to see you every day when there isn't some special work or emergency going on."

  "Laa Ehon? The same city? You mean Milan? Why?"

  "I had a talk with Lyt Ahn," he said. "It was a talk under a seal of secrecy, so I don't dare repeat it to you. But what it boils down to is that he's giving me on permanent loan to Laa Ehon."

  "But why? I thought they didn't particularly even get along."

  "Because Laa Ehon asked for me as a gift. Lyt Ahn could refuse to make a gift, but he couldn't refuse Laa Ehon entirely—no, hush now, and listen to me. I don't understand why, myself. It's got something to do with the Aalaag mores. The tricky part is, I'm to go to Laa Ehon, but he wouldn't lend you along with me."

  "Shane, couldn't you think of some reason? Couldn't you do something? Didn't you argue with him?"

  "As far as I could. When that didn't work, I told him we were about to mate. The mating of beasts they think of as valuable is unofficial Aalaag policy. So he made a concession. You're to go on indefinite leave from here to Milan; and— well, the rest is up to me and to what I can get Laa Ehon to agree to."

  "If it's policy, Laa Ehon'll have to give in, too, then."

  "Maybe," said Shane, staring at the floor before them. "I learned a lot from this talk that I didn't understand before. It's pretty clear that that gathering the Organization people couldn't film or record was a political meeting and Lyt Ahn knows it took place. I made a mistake—that reminds me. I daren't go out of the House of Weapons now. If word of it got back to Lyt Ahn, or if he called for me and I wasn't here, it might look strange to him. You'll have to do it."

  "Do what?"

  "Sign out of the House of Weapons on some pretext of your own, for just an hour or two. Find a pay phone in the city and call Peter. Tell him things are at a crisis point and we have to move as quickly as we can. I want a specific date for that gathering—as soon as it can be held—that I mentioned to him when we talked to Wong and Shepherd in Beijing. He's to send the answer to me through the Resistance people in Milan; because we'll be there, you and I, possibly in hours. Also tell him to get me the name of some representative of the professional group in Milan who I can get in touch with in a hurry —and one more thing. The business of the Resistance and others helping the new Government Units Laa Ehon set up is to be reversed. Have him pass the word to do everything possible now to slow the Units up and make them not work."

  "All right." Maria got to her feet, suddenly wiped clean of emotion. She was decisive. "Have you got time to tell me what's going on?"

  "Not now. As soon as you get back. Tell them at the gate you may be gone a couple of hours, but get back here as quickly as you can. Lyt Ahn may have already issued the orders to take us to Milan. Now tell me, so I'll have the same answer you will if I'm asked—what excuse will you be using for wanting to go out?"

  "I need a kind of soap I can only get in your stores here."

  "Good." He caught at her hand. "Be careful!"

  She squeezed his hand and then pulled free.

  "Don't worry about me. I ought to be back in twenty minutes at the most."

  He watched the door close behind her.

  There was nothing to do but wait and worry. He took a firm grip on his emotions and told himself that if he had to kill twenty minutes he might as well kill it constructively by replaying in his memory the conversation he had had with Lyt Ahn and seeing what more he could read from it about Aalaag ways and the present situation.

  Once more, he told himself, he had made the error of simplifying the Aaiaag and all that pertained to them. He had assumed that the question Laa Ehon put to him—the same question he had told Lyt Ahn about—reflected an "unwell-ness" of Laa Ehon in Aalaag terms. But he had been basing his opinion of Aalaag reactions and judgments on what he had seen of the reactions and judgments in Lyt Ahn. What if Lyt Ahn belonged to a highly conservative group or party among the Aalaag; and Laa Ehon belonged to a much more liberal one, where such a question was not unthinkable in terms of ordinary Aalaag manners? Also, what if there were a number of other high-ranking officers among the Aalaag on Earth who thought as Laa Ehon thought, and would be ready to league with the Milanese Commander against the First Captain? If those things were so, it would explain why a number of such officers were willing to meet semi-secretly with Laa Ehon.

  He was still exploring the implications of that possibility when the door opened and Maria was back with him. Even as she stepped through it, an Aalaag voice spoke from the wall communicator.

  "Shane-beast and Maria-beast, you will report in fifteen minutes to the landing area on top of the House for your transportation to Milan."

  "You reached him?" Shane asked her, as the voice stopped speaking.

  She nodded.

  "Let's go then," he said.

  For once, the courier ship that carried them was full; with young officers of high-number rank taking with them their full equipment, including complete battle armor. Shane frowned slightly at this, and at what he seemed to sense as an air of unusual excitement among their Aalaag fellow passengers— who, he gathered from overheard conversation, were going beyond Milan to places in the Middle and Far East. All seats were filled. Shane and Maria were left to perch upon the piles of gear in the open cargo area behind the seats in the back of the ship.

  It was probably the safest possible place they could have found to talk privately. Even if one of the Aalaag in the rear seats might recognize a few words of Italian, the general level of talk and other sounds in the plane would be enough to cover the sound of Shane's and Maria's voices to the point of unin-telligibility. And here there was absolutely no possibility of their conversation being bugged by human agencies. Shane said as much to Maria as soon as the ship took off, and she nodded.

  "You don't even trust our rooms in the House of Weapons anymore, do you?" she said.

  "I can't," he said. "Just about anything's become possible. But I can't see anyone, human or Aalaag, having time to bug the storage area of this ship on such short notice. What did Peter say when you called him?"

  "That he'd take care of everything and see you personally in Milan."

  Shane frowned.

  "If he's lucky," he said.

  Maria looked at him narrowly.

  "I'm to pass word where I am through Resistance channels as soon as I'm settled," she said, "and he's to contact me to find out when to contact you. You did say you thought you'd be seeing me daily, didn't you?"

  "If Laa Ehon's agreeable," said Shane. "He should be. But —too many things are turning out not to be as I thought them. I've been wrong more often about the Aalaag than I thought I ever could be, particularly as far as underestimating how other people fear and loathe them. I thought my own feelings were greater than most peoples' because I had to live so close to them. In fact, I thought I was almost alone in that much feeling; and I didn't wake up t
o the fact that it was almost universal until recently."

  "I hate them!" said Maria, in a low, intense voice. Her fingers had tensed and curved into the shape of the talons of a bird of prey. "I've always hated them, from the first. They've got no right. They never had any right to take this world, no right to take over everything on it, no right to treat us—all of us—like property!"

  "In their own minds they have a right," said Shane somberly. 'They honestly believe they're superior, and that the superior has a duty to rule and control the inferior."

  "They aren't that superior!" said Maria.

  "You'd have a hard time convincing any one of them of that," said Shane. "They could point to their weapons alone to prove it. Actually, they believe they're superior in all things —science, technology, morality, mental ability—anything you want to name. Anyway, even if they were a lot more like us in many ways, how could you ever compare two races? It's oranges and apples. What's a sign of excellence in one could be a blemish in another."

  "You still admire them in some ways, don't you?" said Maria.

  "There're things about them to admire, you know," he answered. "Even by our standards. Wouldn't you admire someone you could trust to always tell you the truth, no matter what the personal cost to him or her, no matter what the personal consequences? But let's not waste time on that. I really do think I'll be able to see you every day, in Milan. But just in case I don't, just in case something happens to me, there're things I want you to know, so that you can pass them on to people like Peter. Because I see now that, with me or without me, the human race is never going to stop trying to get rid of the Aalaag or any race who tries to take them over."