Nancy Clue Mysteries 2 - The Case of the Good-for-Nothing Girlfriend

by Mabel Maney

  "I did see a yummy-looking recipe for a new weiners 'n' beans casserole in one of them," Cherry remembered.

  Midge laughed. "No, I mean she's always reading those advice columns about love and marriage and stuff. She's always scheming new ways to trick me into changing-trying to get me to talk more, you know, stuff like that."

  Cherry, wondered what she meant. Midge was always cracking jokes and tossing off funny remarks. Why, Cherry thought Midge talked plenty!

  "Where is my girlfriend?" Midge wondered.

  "Velma's powdering her nose while Nancy's on the telephone, calling Bess and George again," Cherry reported. Cherry frowned as she thought of her own unsuccessful attempts to reach her parents by telephone. She had called them three times in the last two days, and each time her efforts had been for naught. Where could her parents be?

  Cherry absentmindedly handed Midge a white paper sack. "I got you some chicken-in-a-basket," she said.

  Midge perched on the hood of the car and hungrily downed her supper. "Let's get some coffee to go, shall we?" Midge suggested when she was through.

  Although normally she didn't partake of any artificial stimulant, Cherry agreed to the plan. "I want to be wide awake when we cross the mighty Mississippi and see Illinois, the Land of Lincoln, for the first time ever!" she enthused. Illinois was the heart of the Midwest, and Cherry didn't want to miss one scenic sight. All day long she had been sneaking a peek at the description of Illinois in her Travel Guide to Corn Country: "It is a flat state. It has a natural topographic monotony."

  Cherry shivered as she anticipated the view that would unfold before her eyes. Even if Illinois weren't so naturally exciting, it would be to Cherry. After all, it was Nancy's home state!

  * * *

  CHAPTER 25

  * * *

  A Queer Quiz

  "What would you rather be able to do-fly or be invisible, and why?" Lauren asked, ready to take down their answers. "Midge, you first."

  "Why on earth do you want to know?" Midge sighed. They had been traveling for four hours now, and Midge was beginning to feel a little weary. She longed for some peace and quiet. Moreover, the closer they got to River Depths, the more anxious she became. Midge was convinced that Nancy's telephone confession to Chief Chumley had been a bad idea. What if they were met at the city limits by a police escort who took them right to jail?

  "I've compiled a questionnaire from various quizzes in the Women's Medical Guide," Lauren explained. "I'm going to figure out what you are, exactly. I've made a chart with everyone's name on it. If you answer these questions, I can give you an accurate description of your personality type.

  "Now, what would you rather be able to do-fly or be invisible, and why?"

  "Fly," Midge said curtly.

  "Because?" Lauren prompted her.

  "Because then I could leave this stupid car and fly to River Depths!"

  "You sure are a crab," Lauren scowled. "In fact, you're all a little crabby tonight."

  "I'm cheerful," Cherry pointed out. Cherry was in the front seat beside Nancy, her map of Illinois spread over her lap. Cherry was as excited as Midge had ever seen her.

  "Yeah, Cherry, but you're cheerful all the time," Midge retorted. "Even first thing in the morning."

  Midge made it sound like it wasn't a good thing at all, Cherry thought.

  "I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Nancy teased, giving Cherry's thigh a little squeeze.

  "Yeah. Happy people are annoying in the morning. Well, they're annoying at any time, but especially first thing in the morning," Midge declared.

  "Oh, Midge, you'll feel much better when your visitor finally gets here!" Cherry cried as she reached over the seat to put a sympathetic hand on her chum's arm. "Velma told us you always get like this."

  Midge shot her girlfriend a pained look. "Thanks, Velma," she grumbled.

  "Midge, if you need any sanitary products, I've got plenty," Cherry added helpfully. "I've got belts and pads and pain reliever in my purse. You don't have to ask. Just help yourself. Regular and," she turned around to wink at Lauren, "Junior Miss."

  "It's okay, Cherry," Midge said hastily. Lauren just turned scarlet.

  "Midge, are you cramping?" Cherry continued. "We can stop at a service station and I can fill my hot water bottle," she offered.

  "I'm fine, Cherry," Midge said as she slumped against the car door, using her jacket as a pillow.

  "Can we get back to the quiz?" Lauren wanted to know. "Velma, you're next. Would you rather fly or be invisible?"

  "Could I do both?" Velma asked.

  Lauren thought about it for a minute. "It would throw off the study, but if you really want to pick both, I can redo the whole thing."

  Velma smiled sweetly. "I'll pick flying, then."

  "Why?"

  "So I could fly away from my grumpy girlfriend, of course," Velma replied with a smile.

  "Excellent," Lauren grinned.

  Midge put her arm around Velma and pulled her close. "You know why I'm so grumpy, don't you?" she said softly. She dropped her voice so no one could hear what came next. But whatever she said, it sure made Velma turn red!

  "Let's continue," Lauren said in a gruff voice. "Cherry?"

  Cherry knew her mind on this matter. "I'd fly. If I were invisible, I wouldn't need to wear my uniform, and that would be like going naked and I wouldn't like that at all. I'd only fly in slacks, of course," she added.

  "Nancy, you're last," Lauren prodded.

  Nancy thought a while before answering. "If I could fly, I could leave right now and get home to Hannah. But being invisible would certainly have its advantages, wouldn't it?" she mused. "What if I could have been invisible? Then none of this would be happening, would it, if I could have really made myself disappear?"

  Midge leaned over and put a hand on Nancy's shoulder. "You know, the mood I'm in today, if you hadn't already killed your father, I'd do it for you," she said. Cherry smiled. Midge could be really sweet when she wanted to be!

  "Was that fly or be invisible?" was all Lauren wanted to know.

  "Let's move on," Midge suggested.

  Lauren sighed and wrote "undecided" next to Nancy's name. "Okay, but it's going to throw off Nancy's score," she grumbled before she read the next question.

  "Question number two. Which would you rather be? A lumberjack or a librarian?"

  "Librarian," Nancy, Cherry, and Velma said in unison. They didn't have to think twice about that one!

  Lauren looked at Midge and without saying a word checked the lumberjack box next to her name. "Number three."

  Midge groaned. "How many questions does this quiz have?" she asked.

  "Sixty. And you are all going to answer every one of them." Lauren fumed. "Question number three. Now, pay attention. This is a true or false question. 'True or False. I am attracted to mannish women.' "

  Velma burst into laughter. Midge began pinching her, which only made her laugh harder. Soon all the girls were giggling-everyone except Lauren, that is, who was scowling.

  "Fine. If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm not going to analyze any of you," she fumed.

  "Why don't you read aloud, Lauren?" Cherry asked. "Read something from the Walt Disney book. That will be soothing."

  "Yes, you have a lovely voice," Velma chimed in. "I could listen to you all night."

  "Okay!" Lauren cried eagerly. "I'll read about ants."

  Cherry thought that sounded nice. Ants were so industrious.

  "It says here that an ant is made of three sections, and if it's ripped apart, each section can go on living for a short time. After the head is cut off, the jaws can go on biting; the middle part, with its six legs, can go on running and kicking, and the rear can stab enemies with its stinger. Here's a color photograph of a ferocious battle between a red ant and a black ant," Lauren leaned over the seat to show Cherry. "The red ant doesn't even have a head, and it's still fighting! Look, its head is lying next to it on the ground! Do you see?
"

  Cherry felt a little woozy. Although she was a nurse and saw medical emergencies everyday, she had to admit she was a bit squeamish when it came to bugs; although, if need be, she would use her medical skills to nurse one back to health. She just hoped that never happened!

  "That's very nice, Lauren," Cherry said weakly. "Why don't I read aloud?" she suggested. She opened Woman's Home Companion and scanned the index for an interesting article. "Oh, look, there's a nice story about Mamie Eisenhower's fall wardrobe."

  "I don't care if Mamie Eisenhower walks around naked," Midge declared. "Isn't there anything more interesting in there?"

  Cherry was a little hurt by Midge's remark until she remembered Velma's warning. She scanned the magazine for some thing that would please Midge. "Here's an article with over thirty-five new hairstyle tips!" Cherry cried. She looked at Midge. Midge frowned. Cherry folded the page back so she could come back to it later. After all, she was always interested in finding new ways to style her stubborn, curly locks.

  "Here's an interesting article," she said. "It's a scientific look into the future by a panel of experts. Does that please you?" Cherry joked.

  Midge lit a cigarette and grinned. "Read on," she said.

  "Twenty years from now we'll preserve food by atomic-ray sterilization," Cherry read aloud.

  "Twenty years from now, we'll be able to buy psychoanalysis insurance to protect us against mental illness," she continued. "Like kleptomania and lying," she added, sneaking a peek at Lauren to see if she got the hint. Lauren only looked bored.

  "Twenty years from now, we'll have a mood counter, like a Geiger counter, that tells you what your husband's disposition is when you want to discuss a new hat," Cherry continued.

  "I could use one of those," Velma teased. Midge groaned good-naturedly. "What else?" she asked. Cherry was pleased to see she had helped Midge get her mind off her troubles.

  "Twenty years from now, men will help with the housework even more than they do already! " she read the last of the list.

  The girls had a good, long laugh.

  "Goodness, the future certainly looks very exciting, doesn't it?" Cherry cried.

  Lauren yawned. "I can hardly wait," she said sleepily. She put her head on Velma's shoulder and fell fast asleep.

  Midge put her head on Velma's other shoulder and stretched out as best she could in the crowded back seat. She, too, promptly fell asleep.

  Cherry finished reading quietly. She didn't care what anyone else thought, she was interested in Mamie Eisenhower's fall wardrobe. "I might pick up some fashion hints," she decided. "Besides, Mamie seems like a genuinely nice person, although I'm not sure I care for her hairdo."

  * * *

  CHAPTER 26

  * * *

  Crossing the Mississippi

  Midge awoke with a start. "Where are we?" she yawned, looking over at Nancy, who was staring grimly ahead, her eyes fixed on the road. They were the only travelers on the lonely highway. Midge gave a little shiver and slipped on her leather jacket.

  Cherry and Midge had switched places hours earlier when Cherry realized she was too sleepy to be an effective helpmate to Nancy. "Whoever sits in the passenger seat has a big responsibility, Midge," Cherry had cautioned her chum. "There are maps to read, hankies to dispense, and one has to keep the driver alert and entertained!"

  After agreeing to assume Cherry's duties, Midge had promptly fallen fast asleep. The last thing Midge remembered was Cherry's squeal of delight as they crossed the Mississippi River. "Now I've seen everything," Cherry had declared after they had crossed the wide, wild river with its stout dikes and thick masses of foliage. "Look at those powerful, modern barges lashed together, piled high with coal. Or is that yellow sulphur?" she had cried excitedly as their headlights illuminated a typical river scene for all to see.

  "What a pleasant, cool place to be after a long trip on a dusty road," Cherry had then murmured before falling asleep.

  Nancy had been content to drive for a while without benefit of Cherry's cheery chatter, but now she was a little lonely. She was glad Midge was awake.

  "We're almost to River Depths," Nancy answered back, taking care to keep her voice low so as not to wake the others, who were sound asleep.

  Midge checked her watch. She was surprised to find it was almost three a.m. "What happened to Cherry's driving plan?" Midge joked, pretending to be alarmed. "We're off schedule! Seriously, Nancy, aren't you sick of being behind the wheel?"

  Nancy shook her head. "I'm wide awake," she assured Midge. "Besides, I know this route better than anyone. Illinois has some pretty treacherous roads, especially in the dark."

  "I'm telling Cherry you drove while fatigued," Midge said in a teasing whisper. "And I'll just bet you haven't even stopped once to stretch."

  Nancy stifled a giggle and offered Midge a cigarette from the pack in her lap. Midge accepted gratefully.

  "Does Cherry know you smoke?" Midge gasped when she realized Nancy was holding a lit cigarette.

  "I was smoking the night we met, but Cherry was probably too drunk-oops!" Nancy clapped one hand over her mouth. "I mean, it was probably too dark for her to notice."

  Midge grinned and lit a cigarette. "I had a feeling you two weren't telling the whole truth about how you met," she said. "That little story about Cherry's spending the night tracking you down is a lie, isn't it? How did you two spend that night?"

  Nancy had the good grace to blush. She tried to change the subject, and quickly.

  "Oh, look!" she cried excitedly, pointing to a large, welllit roadway sign, set back at the side of the road, surrounded by stately Sycamores.

  WELCOME TO RIVER DEPTHS "HOME OF GIRL DETECTIVE NANCY CLUE"

  Midge was impressed and, for the first time, a little relieved. Maybe Nancy was right. Maybe everything would be okay. "I guess people here really do like her," Midge thought.

  "My house is in one of the older suburbs at the far end of town," Nancy explained. "We won't pass through downtown now, but later, if you like, I'll take you on an official tour. It's really an attractive place, with lots of fine old homes. And you'll never be wanting for entertainment here, either. We've got a grand theater that dates back to the turn of the century and a very good library with all the latest novels. And two cinemas.

  "In a couple of days, we can all drive up to Lake Merrimen and cool off. My chums Joe and Frank Hardly summer there with their Uncle Nelly. There's a beautiful lake where you can participate in all sorts of water sports."

  Midge laughed. "I'll worm the truth out of you sooner or later about how you and Cherry met," she promised. "You might as well come clean now. Besides, you know Cherry will spill the beans as soon as I lean on her. Why, you know she can't keep a secret."

  Nancy chatted on about River Depths, hoping to divert Midge's attention from the topic at hand. She had promised Cherry not to breathe a word of their steamy first encounter during their recent adventure in San Francisco!

  She busied herself pointing out interesting landmarks. "There's the famous River Depths Sanitarium," she said, as they passed a stately white stone mansion set back among elm trees. She turned a teasing eye to Midge. "That's where the famous movie star Darcy New is staying," she chuckled, adding, "Luckily, I once mentioned we had a sanitarium in River Depths so you could use it in your tale to throw those reporters off my trail!"

  Nancy filled Midge in on more details about the institution. "It used to be the Frenshaw mansion, and until twenty-two years ago, people from town went there regularly to perform skits and otherwise lift the spirits of the patients. Then suddenly the ghostly figure of a woman in white began appearing on the grounds, accompanied by the most ghastly screams," she reported. "And since then, no one's dared venture there."

  Nancy continued. "A few years ago I called and asked Head Psychiatrist Doctor Fraud if I could investigate the sightings, and somehow Father found out, and he refused to let me go there. He said he feared for my safety." She shivered. "I tried to sneak ont
o the grounds, but was driven back by two fierce dogs.

  "Oh, look!" she exclaimed, pointing out a large brick building set back among majestic maple trees. "There's River Depths High. It's a very attractive campus, don't you think? My chums George and Bess work there now. George is the girl's physical education instructor and Bess heads the home economics department."

  Midge thought the campus, with its spacious, manicured grounds and grand marble buildings, looked more like a university than a high school. "When did you graduate?" Midge asked.

  "Oh, we didn't go there!" Nancy cried. "Bess, George, and I attended Miss Edger's and Miss Cramp's School for Girls in nearby Lakeview, a private girls' school specializing in Manners, Deportment, and Civilized Culture.

  "We're now passing the Park of Roses, where Hannah wins first prize for her beautiful blooms every year at the Festival of Flowers. Oh, dear. I hope the gardener's remembered to prune her rose bushes and trim her morning glories," Nancy fretted. "How dreadful if she had to come home to withering vines!

  "Mr. and Mrs. Tickerson live down this way!" Nancy exclaimed as they passed Old River Road. "Poor Ted Tickerson. It was so tragic the way he died!"

  "Do tell," Midge begged.

  Nancy filled Midge in on the unfortunate accident at the River Depths Men's Club that had claimed the life of Ted Tickerson, her frequent escort at many country club dances, and River Depth High's most outstanding quarterback.

  "A stuffed moosehead unexpectedly fell off the wall and right onto poor Ted's head, killing him instantly!" Nancy cried. "It happened during Ted's induction into the club. It was a sudden shock!

  "He was certainly a fun escort for high school dances, even if I did have to karate-chop him a few times when he got fresh," Nancy remembered with a little grin. "He had an awfully pretty sister," she added wistfully. "Her name was Theresa, but everyone called her Terry. Boy, she was sweet."