I Need You

by Jane Lark

  She’d showered, blow-dried her hair and put her makeup straight. The white sleeveless tee she had on was a little sheer. I could see the green halter-neck bikini top she had on underneath it through the cotton and she was wearing shorts that showed every curve of her legs off. I did like her legs.

  “What do you want to do?”

  Her arms had crossed since she’d handed me the cell, and now she shrugged.

  “We can go down to the beach and lie in the sun, or go down to the pool and swim…”

  “I liked the beach yesterday. Let’s go back down to the beach.”

  “Well, you’re gonna have to give me time to shower.”

  “Are you going back up to your room?”

  “Yeah, I need clean clothes as well as a shower, unless you want a companion who stinks.”

  She smiled with a sudden look of warmth catching in her eyes, the Lindy of happiness and high school shining through; the one who had somehow got lost in the last couple of years.

  I stood up, wiping my face with my tee again. Then met her gaze.

  “So did you?”

  That question had been tumbling around in my head for an hour and more. Asking it kicked me in the belly and sent a jolt of lust to my cock.

  I’d been exercising with an uncomfortable condition, thinking about her––up in her room… Imagining. I shook my head, I probably shouldn’t have asked.

  She didn’t answer anyway.

  She turned away, acting like I hadn’t asked the question, but as she did, her skin turned red.

  I’d lay a bet she had. And that made my condition worse; blood pulsed into my cock.

  But she could just be embarrassed I’d mentioned it. That would be like Lindy too.

  My fingers combed through my hair. Then I caught my image in the mirror and ruffled my hair so it spiked again.

  A part of me wondered if I’d brought her here not to make amends but to try and win her. Maybe I had been kidding myself that I was able to just let her go at last.

  Whatever, I was still turned on, even though she wasn’t turned on by me. Well that was the suicide sentence I’d been living for years––watching her with Jason.

  I followed her upstairs, but she didn’t talk until she got to her room. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded at her before going into mine.

  I sorted myself out in the shower, jerking off as the water streamed over me, and ah, shit, the images playing through my head were her, lying on her bed and doing the same, holding my cell.

  When I got dressed, I pulled my cut-offs on over my swim shorts, rubbed my hair with a towel to dry it a little, then slicked it up with styling wax, before pulling on a dark-blue tee. I locked my cell and wallet in the room safe, grabbed a zip sweat top and threw it on as I left the room.

  When I knocked Lindy’s door, it opened straight away. “You took your time.”

  I grinned at her, heat burning in my cheeks. My turn to be embarrassed. “You ready?”

  She blushed too then. “Yeah, I’ll get my backpack.”

  This was gonna be one long day of awkward. My hands slid into the front pockets of my cut-offs. I had a rolled blanket under my arm that I’d got out of the SUV for us to sit on.

  We didn’t talk walking down to the beach. My brain couldn’t come up with any right stuff to say and she didn’t have anything to say. But then there was the whole choosing where we sat: dry sand that was uneven, or on the flat wet sand. The breeze rolled in with the ocean whipping up a mini sandstorm.

  We picked dry sand.

  “I’ve got more blankets in the SUV and tent poles. Why don’t I make a den? We can pen ourselves in, out of the breeze, if we’re gonna sit.”

  “Okay.”

  I handed her the blanket. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She was standing in the same place when I got back. Just staring out at the ocean, looking uncomfortable.

  “I’m cold.” She looked at me, hugging the blanket to her chest.

  “It’ll be warm inside our den. It’s like a cocoon.” When I smiled, she smiled back at me. “Go on, throw the blanket out and I’ll build the den around you.”

  I positioned the tent poles in a square around the blanket she sat on and taped four blankets on them, with duct tape, making a little wall around us that would keep the breeze and sand out. I’d been to California once, with my family, years ago, beaches were warm there… Not here…

  She laughed at me, “You’re crazy. Have you done this before?”

  “Not four-sided, but yes I’ve built them before for myself if the wind’s whipping sand at you.”

  “Did you and Jason build dens when you were kids?”

  I smiled at her as I taped the last blanket up. “Yeah.”

  She laughed again.

  There were only a few people about on the beach. Some flying kites and playing ball.

  Climbing into our new den, I grinned as I dropped to sit on the blanket next to her.

  She slid her backpack off her shoulder. Then her knees bent up as she leaned forward and gripped her ankles. “You’re right, it’s warm down here out of the breeze.”

  “I’m always right.”

  She glanced at me, turned pink and then looked away.

  I undid the button on my fly.

  Lind caught the movement and blushed again…

  Yep, today was going to be a whole ton of awkward.

  I smiled to dismiss her insecurity as I stood up to unzip my cut-offs. When I let them drop, she looked away.

  “If I’m here to get some sun, I’m getting some sun.” I stripped off my sweat top.

  She looked at me again. “It’s still cold, even in here.”

  “Don’t be feeble.” I gripped the hem of my tee and pulled it up and off.

  She was bright red as she turned to her backpack and started delving in it.

  I lay down on my belly next to her.

  “Do you want screen.” She held out a tube of sun screen.

  “Trust you to come with protection.”

  Another blush.

  She so had.

  Shit, my cock twitched, right at the moment her cold hand touched my back.

  She hadn’t waited on my agreement. But I wasn’t complaining. Her touch was gentle and careful.

  When she’d finished, she threw the screen on top of her backpack and lay down next to me, still fully clothed.

  I turned my head to look at her, resting my cheek on my crossed arms. She was on her back and she’d shut her eyes. “Aren’t you gonna strip down to your bikini?”

  Her head turned. “No, it’s cold, and I don’t like to strip off.”

  “You’re weird. Nearly every girl I know would freeze to get a tan.”

  “Yeah, well I’m not every girl.”

  Yeah, I did know that, but she was weird sometimes. “Get your shorts off, get your top off, and get some sun on your skin. It’ll make you feel better.”

  She rolled onto her belly, mirroring my posture, with her arms folded and her cheek on the back of her hands as she looked at me. “No.”

  I frowned at her. “Come on, take your stuff off.”

  “No, I really don’t want to.”

  “Why?”

  “Billy, don’t push me.”

  “No, the more you refuse, the more you make me think there’s something wrong. What’s wrong with taking your stuff off.”

  “I hate my stomach!” she growled at me, rolling onto her back and then sitting up.

  Frick. I laughed.

  The flat of her fist hit my shoulder.

  “I thought we’d covered stopping the violence last night…”

  She poked her tongue out at me, but there really was anger in her eyes.

  I turned my head to rest my forehead on my crossed arms. “Lind, your stomach is fine.”

  “I don’t feel comfortable.” Her pitch rang with annoyance.

  I looked at her again. There was nothing wrong with her! “Lind. Take
your fucking stuff off. You’ve got a gorgeous body.” Perhaps I shouldn’t be admitting I thought that, but whatever. “Just take it off. You look thinner than 90 percent of the women in this town!”

  “Billy!” That was a reprimand to keep my voice down.

  “Just take your stuff off and lie down!”

  She’d turned bright red and my guess was it was through anger as much as embarrassment. Glaring at me she gripped the hem of her sweat top, and as it turned out her sleeveless tee, ‘cause when she pulled it up, she pulled both off and threw them on top of my head. So I couldn’t see her.

  When I moved them off, she’d lain down again, and her shorts weren’t off but she must have undone them, because they were pushed down to where her bikini bottoms were. I could see the emerald-green line.

  Cock twitch.

  She was not overweight. “There’s nothing wrong with how you look.”

  Her head turned, her cheek resting on her folded arms, as her blue eyes stared at me.

  “Like yourself,” I whispered. “That’s half your trouble, you don’t.”

  Tears glittered in her eyes. She shut them.

  “Shall I rub some screen into your back?”

  She nodded without opening her eyes.

  I smiled as I got up to get the screen. She didn’t move.

  I grabbed the tube and straddled her thighs.

  “Billy!” she squealed as I squirted the cold cream on her back.

  “Just lie still and shut up.” I laughed.

  “That’s so cold,” she breathed.

  “Now you know how I felt.” She didn’t really, ‘cause I’d been aroused. Something she hadn’t ever been around me.

  I pulled her bikini top loose at the back so the strap wasn’t in the way. Then I rubbed the cream in with both hands, sliding my palms up the gorgeous curve of her back and then over her shoulders, and along her arms to her elbows, before running them all the way down to start again as her soft skin absorbed the cream.

  She jumped a little as my hands started running upward again.

  Her backside wobbled against my groin. I loved it. Cause I loved her. The girl was mad thinking she didn’t have a good figure.

  I tied her bikini top up again and smacked the first curve of her ass, before I climbed off of her. She squealed again. “Billy!”

  “Lindy!” I mocked, rolling onto my side, leaning up on my elbow to watch her and talk. Her head turned to me, her cheek resting on her crossed arms.

  Halleluiah, the girl actually had a shallow smile on her lips.

  “You do look good, you know. I’m not just saying it, and I’m not kidding. Didn’t Jason ever say how hot you look.”

  Her smile fell and her head turned away.

  “Didn’t he?”

  “He dumped me for Rachel. You’ve seen how skinny she is. So whatever he did say wasn’t true, was it?”

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, and he was with you for years… He loved you, Lind. The thing with him and Rachel isn’t about looks; it’s just chemistry.”

  Her head turned to me again. But she didn’t say anything.

  “So did you?” I whispered to try and break her bad mood.

  “Billy,” she hissed at me, but she said it with another smile, before looking away.

  I grinned. I was sure she had.

  I turned onto my back. “Put some sun screen on my chest.”

  She looked back and didn’t move for a moment, but then sat up, and now I could see her body better. Her breasts swayed in the halter-neck bikini top and her nipples had come up in peaks under the cloth. There was nothing about her that turned me off.

  She squirted the cold cream on my belly. “Ah” My body jolted and I laughed.

  “You could do this yourself, you know.”

  “I know, but it’s so much more fun when you do it.”

  There was a twisted smile on her lips, that she hid by looking down to watch her hands move over my skin.

  “How many hours do you work out?”

  “Why?”

  “Cause you are one big ball of muscle, Billy.”

  “I’m a personal trainer. I spend all day working out, Lind.” I watched her face, hidden beneath a curtain of blonde hair, as her fingers ran down to my belly, exploring my abs.

  “And this little cut above your hips, how do you get that?”

  I laughed. “A guy’s secret.”

  Her fingers ran right up and over my shoulders then down my arms, like I’d done to her. “Your biceps are huge.”

  I shut my eyes and chuckled, just reveling in her touch. “Nice to know you’re impressed with my guns.”

  “Only a little.” Her hands left me, and the sun-screen tube hit my belly.

  I laughed, turning to my side as she lay on her back next to me.

  My gaze skimmed down her body. “Well, if you measure that by how I feel about your belly, you can shut up complaining about being overweight.”

  She thumped my shoulder, but she was smiling and laughing, a little.

  Lindy

  Billy’s long black eyelashes framed the gleam in his eyes. Emotion gripped in my chest as my gaze caught the dark blue.

  He’d always been good at making me laugh. Always.

  I smiled at him, shaking my head, then rolled on to my belly and rested my head on my folded arms. He settled in the same position beside me, looking toward me as I Iooked at him.

  “So what have you been doing in the weeks we’ve not been talking? Have you been looking for a new job?” He changed the subject.

  “A bit…” I took a breath. Images of home spun around in my head; the emotion piling in too. Sadness hung-out in every corner in that house… I’d escaped it for a while, but I couldn’t escape it forever and it was strangling me. Pain pierced through my heart …

  “But Mom’s at home––and I’ve just not been in the mood for job-hunting. I should go into Portland, but I don’t want to be that far away from home.”

  “It’s not that far. Most of my clients are in Portland. It doesn’t take that long to do the drive––”

  “I know… but it’s too far for me!”

  His eyes looked his questions. If I’d have snapped like that at Jason, he would’ve just shut up and turned away, but Billy never accepted anything at face value, he always questioned why. His eyebrows lifted.

  I couldn’t answer why…

  He didn’t ask it, though. Perhaps he realized my soul was too sore.

  “So, did you?” That question was spoken in a deep husky whisper, followed by a smile.

  I smiled, too, I couldn’t help it. He’d said it to break the ice that had settled over me. I shook my head at him, then turned the other way. But he had me grinning again and wanting to laugh, even though a moment ago I’d felt like the world ripped me apart.

  It had felt awkward when he’d said it earlier, but now the glint of amusement in his eyes just made it a joke. That look in his eyes hovered in my head as I shut mine, listening to him chuckle.

  “What music have you been listening to lately?” Another sudden change of subject.

  I didn’t look back at him, just talked with my eyes shut, feeling the sunshine warm my back, now he’d blocked out the wind.

  It felt like the two of us were in a cocoon, the world beyond our den didn’t exist. We talked about everything and nothing. TV shows, films, Vine and YouTube clips, it went everywhere, and we were talking for ages. I was so relaxed. I felt normal, when I hadn’t felt normal for months––years.

  Then all of a sudden he got up. “I’m going into the ocean for a bit. You coming?”

  “Our stuff?”

  “I left my wallet and cell in my room, did you bring yours?”

  “No, but people don’t know that, they’ll take my backpack.”

  “Worry wart. There’s a woman over there with four kids, she’ll mind it; she looks trust- worthy.”

  “Billy! My clothes!” How could he see everything s
o black and white?

  “Put them back on. It’s freezing down there.” He bent down and grabbed up his tee and top and pulled them on while I got dressed too. Then he leaned down and picked up my backpack.

  He climbed over a blanket to get out, and when I stood up he was walking back up the beach toward this woman.

  The woman blushed as he approached her.

  When I climbed out, pulling on my sleeveless tee and my sweater, it felt scary. That was stupid. But I’d been safe in our little cocoon, and now the world could get at me.

  “Sorted,” he said, as he came back, grinning at me. A grin that said “victory”.

  My arms gripped over my chest as insecurity crowded in. “I bet she thinks you’re really cheeky.”

  “Nah, she’s just thinking she wished her husband still looked as hot as me.” His smile split his face. “Come on.” His eyes glowed reassurance.

  Billy. My heart said his name in an odd way.

  When we’d shared the apartment at college, Billy had always been easy company. Whenever Jason had gone into one of his quiet, thoughtful moods, Billy had always been there to shout at, with, to debate with, and laugh with…

  I started walking beside him, my arms still gripped over my chest.

  He looked sideways at me. “So, go on then, tell me, did you?”

  He’d sensed my awkwardness. Amusement caught up in my throat, mixing with the feelings of despair that had started surrounding me again. It came out as a choked laugh and my lips twisted in a bitter smile. But it was a smile. I wanted to hug him.

  I knew he didn’t expect an answer. He was purely joking. To make me laugh.

  My arms dropped to hang at my sides. What would I have done without Billy when Jason went to New York? I had missed Billy loads for weeks. I felt a lot better now he’d come back to me.

  I poked my tongue out at him, wondering what the hell he’d say, or do, if I answered, yes.

  That made me smile properly, a full-on smile like I hadn’t done for months.

  Shit, I’d had my first-ever orgasm this morning, barely hours ago. My hand clutching his cell and I’d thought of him, ‘cause I could hardly think of Jason. That would have felt wrong on every level. I’d thought of Billy’s muscular hips and thighs moving between my parted legs––of his weight pressing down onto me and into me, and the pressure of his movement inside me…