Calf

by Andrea Kleine

  Kirin’s door made a long creaking sound as Colin pushed it open with Monique’s Tin Man axe. Someone shoved Tammy in the back and she tripped on her long skirt and stumbled into Kirin’s room.

  “You’re the witch. Witchy witches live in haunted castles,” Kenny said.

  Tammy ignored Kenny because she couldn’t think of anything good to say back.

  “That’s right, Wicked Witch,” Gretchen said. “This is your house and you’ve kidnapped us here.”

  Gretchen took a step into the room with a smirk on her face and switched on the light. She wasn’t acting scared. Maybe she’d been here before.

  There wasn’t any blood. The room looked like a normal kid’s room, but some things seemed to be missing. Kirin used to have her swimming ribbons hanging up and they were all gone. She used to have all of her stuffed animals in a perfect line on a shelf and they were gone too. There was nothing on the walls. Tammy couldn’t remember what used to be there, pictures or posters or a map of the world maybe, but now the walls were blank. There were no books on the bookshelf and probably if they pulled open one of her dresser drawers there would be no clothes inside. There was still a lamp on her desk and an empty corkboard. A bunch of empty cardboard boxes were stacked one inside another. One box had all of Kirin’s board games in it, but the rest were empty. Her bed was missing the top mattress. Just the bottom box spring was there with no sheets and it looked too close to the ground.

  Tammy stared at the bed. That was where it happened. Kirin was asleep. Tammy couldn’t look away. She had never seen a spot where someone had died.

  “That’s where she was shot,” Colin said. “On the bed.”

  Gretchen sat down on the corner of the box spring.

  “Don’t sit there. You shouldn’t do that,” Monique said.

  “Why? Are you going to kill me?”

  They suddenly heard adult voices coming from the hall. Or maybe it was from right next door, or outside a window. But it sounded close. Gretchen made a motion with her hand at Kenny and he turned off the light. They stood in the dark and listened. People were talking. It was definitely coming from the hall.

  Tammy realized she didn’t know where Hugh was. He wasn’t in the room. At least she didn’t think he was and now the lights were out and she couldn’t tell.

  “Witchy witch,” Kenny whispered loud enough so that everyone could hear, “it’s your house. Go see who it is.”

  “No way.”

  “You have to. It’s your haunted house.”

  “Where’s my brother?”

  “I ate him. Monkeys eat babies.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Just go quick and check it out and come right back,” Monique piped in.

  Tammy went into the hall because she knew they wouldn’t leave her alone unless she did. The voices were coming from the guest room. Tammy didn’t have to turn the knob because she could see the guest room door was already open a crack. She tapped it open with her broom, very slowly, so whoever was in there wouldn’t notice.

  Hugh was sitting on the floor watching TV in the dark.

  “You’re not supposed to be in here,” Tammy whispered and switched off the TV.

  “I can watch TV. The ghost said I could.”

  “What ghost?”

  “Angel ghost. Remember?”

  “There’s no such thing.”

  “Kirin said there was. She said they lived here.”

  “Well Kirin is dead and all the angels moved out.”

  “Why did they leave the TV?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Can we keep it? Can we take it home?”

  “No,” Tammy said and pulled him to his feet.

  When Tammy and Hugh walked into the hallway, the door to Kirin’s room slammed shut. Tammy saw the light switch back on through the slit where the door met the carpet. She could hear everyone moving around in there. Tammy didn’t want them poking around in the room without her.

  She tried to turn the knob but it was locked.

  “Let me in.”

  Magically, the door opened by itself. Kirin’s room looked empty and Tammy guessed everyone was hiding somewhere as a joke. She walked inside and Hugh followed her.

  Kenny and Josh grabbed hold of Tammy and pulled her arms behind her back.

  “Gotcha, witchy witch! You’re our prisoner now.”

  “Let me go! You’re not funny!”

  “Let me go, you’re not funny!” Kenny said in high-pitched voice like he was trying to imitate her.

  “Stop it! Let go!”

  “Shut up, witchy bitch. Shut the hell up or we’ll lock you in this room and leave you here.”

  “Stop it. You’re just fooling around.”

  “No we’re not, bitch witch. We’re serious.”

  The closet door opened and Gretchen poked her head out. “Yeah,” she said, “we’re dead serious.” Gretchen, Monique, and Colin had been hiding in the closet.

  Tammy stopped wriggling because it just made Kenny and Josh hold on tighter and it made her arms hurt.

  Gretchen walked over to the bed, held her arms out to Hugh, and said, “Come here.” He didn’t move at first. Gretchen said she would let him keep the TV if he came over and sat with her on the bed for a minute.

  “Good boy. Good Toto. You’re still Toto the dog, remember?”

  He nodded as he carefully sat down on the bed.

  “Gimme a bark, Toto. Pretend you’re a dog.”

  He barked.

  “Good boy. Good doggie, Toto. Now lie down here. Lie down on the bed and go to sleep. You can pretend. You don’t really have to go to sleep.”

  He leaned back on the bed and curled up in a ball. He even stuck his thumb in his mouth and made snoring sounds.

  “Good boy. Go to sleep now.” Gretchen got up and walked over to Tammy with a know-it-all smile on her face.

  “Okay, Wicked Witch, first of all I’m taking your broomstick and I’m keeping it.” She picked up Tammy’s broom, which Tammy had dropped when Kenny grabbed her arms. Tammy couldn’t tell if Gretchen was playing around or if she was really going to keep it. If Gretchen didn’t give it back, Tammy would get in trouble because she had taken the broom from home to use in the play.

  “Now you have no power and you have to do what I say. Are you going to do what I say?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “That’s not an answer. Yes or no?”

  “Okay, just let me go.”

  Gretchen looked at Tammy long and hard.

  “Let her go, monkey, but guard the door.”

  Gretchen opened the closet door and pulled out a Tupperware container. It was the wine container that Kirin had kept in her room.

  “We found this container of pee. You have to drink it.”

  “That’s not pee.”

  “It looks like pee and it smells like pee. Therefore, it is pee.”

  Tammy knew it was the wine, but Gretchen could have had one of the boys pee into the container while the door was shut.

  Gretchen peeled off the lid and passed the container to Tammy.

  “Drink up,” she said.

  Tammy held the container with both hands and lifted it to her mouth. It smelled bad, but it didn’t smell like pee. She put her mouth around the edge and let a tiny sip of liquid enter her mouth and flow back into the container. It was the wine. It tasted like apple juice that had gone bad.

  Gretchen crossed her arms over her chest.

  “You have to drink the whole thing.”

  Tammy didn’t want to drink it, but then she thought, if she did, it would be gone and no one would find it. Steffi wouldn’t have to worry about it. No one would dust an empty Tupperware container for fingerprints. They would think it had just been forgotten and left behind by accident. People forgot Tupperware containers all the time.

  Tammy held the container to her mouth. She drank the first gulps quickly, trying to block her nose inside her mouth so she wouldn’t have to taste it. She felt her
self start to throw up a little bit, but she managed to swallow it back down. She drank a couple more gulps, came up for air, and wiped her mouth with the cuff of her black witch’s turtleneck. There was only a little bit left for Tammy to finish, but Gretchen took the container from her, set it on the floor, and pretended to wake Hugh up.

  “Come here, come here, boy. Take a drink from your bowl,” Gretchen said. Hugh got down from the bed on all fours like a dog and crawled over to the plastic bowl. He gave a bark and stuck his head in the Tupperware to drink. He took one slurp with his tongue and spat it out.

  “You have to drink it. You have to drink it, doggie. I know it tastes bad. Just drink it really fast. Be a good dog and you’ll get the TV.”

  Hugh stuck his head back in the dish and started slurping. He was slurping and spitting and giving a cough or two. Tammy was a little worried about him, but she decided not to say anything and let the wine disappear down his throat. Just let it go. Let it get swallowed up. Then she could cross the wine off Steffi’s list. Hugh managed to lick up most of what was left in the container. He lifted his head out of the bowl and let his tongue hang out of his mouth.

  “Good boy!” Gretchen said and gave him a few pats on the head. “Now come here and go back to sleep.”

  Hugh jumped back up on the bed, and instead of staying near the edge, he crawled all around acting like a dog. Hugh usually didn’t show off like this in front of Tammy’s friends. Tammy had to drag him along sometimes, but usually he was quiet. Finally, he collapsed and curled up with his back to them. Tammy watched his side move up and down and she started to feel sleepy herself.

  Gretchen stood in front of Tammy, right in front of her face.

  “You’ve got some explaining to do, young lady,” Gretchen said. She looked older when she said that. It sounded like something a mom would say. She went around to the other side of the bed and Tammy noticed that someone had knocked over the box with board games and all the Monopoly money was scattered everywhere. Gretchen squatted down by the game Sorry! and lifted up the lid to the box at an angle so Tammy couldn’t see what she was looking for inside, then she closed the box and held something behind her back. She started to laugh and had to scrunch her lips together so she could talk.

  “Would you mind explaining these to us?” she said. She took her hands from behind her back and shoved something in front of Tammy’s face. Gretchen held it too close to Tammy’s eyes so all she saw was a square of dark shapes. Gretchen pulled back and the picture came into focus. They were the Polaroid photos of Tammy’s mother and Nick. Gretchen held them in front of Tammy’s face and, one by one, went through them like flash cards for a vocabulary test. They were the naked photos taken with her camera. Tammy’s chest started to feel funny and her cheeks felt limp. Her arms were hanging loosely at her sides and she could feel them start to shiver. She tried not to look at the photos, but past them and at the floor.

  “Well?” Gretchen said. She bent down and put her head in line with Tammy’s vision and forced Tammy to look at her.

  “I don’t know,” Tammy said. She said it very lightly. She didn’t want to say anything and she didn’t want to look at anything. Anything, at this point, could make her cry.

  “It’s your mom, right? And your stepfather.” Gretchen knew that it was and she wasn’t going to let it go. She flipped through the photos again. When Tammy tried to move her head Gretchen held them closer and forced her to look at the naked bodies sprawled against the rainbow bedspread and the one of Nick taking a picture of himself in the mirror wearing only a pair of brown socks. Tammy didn’t know what those pictures were doing here. The only thing she could think of was that Steffi and Kirin must’ve borrowed them along with the gun, hidden them in the Sorry! box, and nobody found them. It was strange that the police didn’t look in every nook and cranny, but if Kirin was shot on top of the bed and her mom said she did it, maybe they figured they didn’t need to. And maybe when Kirin’s dad moved her stuff out, he was trying to do it quickly and forgot about the board games.

  “Your mom’s a hooker,” Kenny said.

  Tammy didn’t say anything back.

  “What does she charge? Probably not a lot. She’s not that pretty.”

  Tammy wanted to tell him to shut up, but she couldn’t say anything. If she said a single word, she would start crying really hard. She had never once seen Gretchen or Monique cry. The only girl who ever cried in school was Olga, the Russian girl, when everyone made fun of her for being Russian, and one time Heather cried at school because her dog died the night before. Tammy didn’t cry at school about Kirin. No one did. Except Steffi.

  “Does your mom teach you how to be a hooker? Do you run around naked all the time and have sex and take pictures? Where are the naked pictures of you? Huh? We want to see them,” Kenny said.

  Gretchen finally took the pictures away and put them in the pocket of her costume apron.

  “How much do you charge?” Josh piped in.

  “Hey, Lion here wants to know how much you charge,” Kenny said. “It probably depends on what you want her to do.”

  “What if she shows us her tits?”

  “She doesn’t have any tits! You’d be wasting your money.”

  “How much if she gets completely naked?”

  “Will you two shut up?” Gretchen said. She bent back down to the Sorry! box and lifted the lid again. This time when she stood back up she was holding a gun. It was black and Tammy was pretty sure it was Nick’s gun. Kirin and Steffi must have hidden it with the pictures in the Sorry! box.

  “Let’s play Truth or Dare,” Gretchen said. “Tammy’s going first.”

  Gretchen pointed the gun at Tammy and said, “Truth or dare?” It was Nick’s gun and Gretchen knew it.

  “Pick one. Truth or dare.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Just pick one. Just say one of the words.”

  Tammy had never played Truth or Dare before, but she had heard what it was like. Heather had told them her older sister had played it once and as a dare she had to stick a cookie down her pants, rub it around her vagina, and then eat it. Tammy thought truth would be a better option.

  “Truth.”

  “Okay, truth.” Gretchen stopped pointing the gun at Tammy and twirled it around one of her Dorothy braids. “Which boy in our class do you like enough to have sex with?”

  “None.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I don’t like any of them.”

  “She’s a faggot!” Josh said.

  “Okay, since you didn’t answer my question, you automatically have to do a dare.”

  Monique said that’s not how it works. She said you ask a question or do a dare and then you have to move onto the next person. You don’t get to do both to one person in one go-round. Gretchen didn’t like Monique butting in and telling her what’s what. She pointed the gun at Tammy again and told her she had to do the dare anyway. Tammy was afraid Gretchen was going to make her take off all her clothes in front of the boys, or something like that. Some sex thing. If Gretchen made her get naked, Tammy wasn’t sure what she would do. She guessed she could do it. She knew Gretchen had sucked face with Josh and Kenny in her basement rec room after school and Heather had let boys feel her up. If Gretchen made Tammy have sex with one of the boys, she guessed she could do it. Tammy hadn’t gotten her period yet, so she knew she couldn’t get pregnant. Tammy would do it to shut Gretchen up and get her out of there. She didn’t think Gretchen had it in her to actually steal the gun. Gretchen liked to make a big deal about following the rules when they were at school. She liked to misbehave, but only when the teacher was out of the room.

  “You’ll do it?” Gretchen asked.

  “Yeah, I mean, I don’t care. I’ll have sex.”

  Tammy didn’t mean to say the last part. She didn’t know what made her say it. It slipped out of her mouth like the little bit of vomit that bubbled up her throat when she drank the wine. Gretchen’s eyes grew
wide and she kind of coughed and laughed at the same time.

  “You are a faggot!”

  Tammy held her breath because otherwise she was going to sob. She knew Gretchen had been acting like she was older than she was ever since sixth grade started. But Tammy was loyal. Tammy hadn’t told anyone when Gretchen started wearing a bra last month, and when the boys went around recess one day feeling girls’ backs to see if they were wearing a bra that they could snap, Tammy stood behind Gretchen and backed her up against a wall so they couldn’t get to her. But Gretchen had forgotten about all of that now. She had forgotten that she used to like to hang out at Tammy’s house because there were no parents around after school. She had forgotten that she and Tammy’s favorite game was pretending to be Q107 deejays. She didn’t care that she was embarrassing Tammy with the naked pictures and she didn’t seem to care if Tammy had to get naked in front of everyone.

  “Are you going to do the dare?” Gretchen asked.

  Tammy nodded. She concentrated on trying to breathe through her nose. She felt like all the parts of her body were coming apart and she had to think really hard to keep them together. She managed to whisper, “Okay.”

  “Everyone wants to know what happened here,” Gretchen said. “We want to know what it was like. You have to take this gun and pretend to be Kirin’s mom. That’s your dare.”

  Gretchen held out the gun and Tammy took it with two hands. It was heavier than she thought it would be. It was black and matched her costume. She had it now. She could leave now. Kenny was standing by the door. There were three boys here. If she tried to make a run for it they would probably grab the gun from her. And then there was Hugh sleeping in the bed. She would have to do the dare and then somehow keep the gun. Or sneak back in when it was all over and get it. Tammy didn’t think this dare was so bad. She didn’t have to take her clothes off. She didn’t have to have sex with Kenny. Gretchen explained that Tammy was supposed to use the gun just like Kirin’s mom did. Everyone else would be silent observers and they would judge what really happened. Tammy was supposed to go out into the hall and come back in pretending to be Kirin’s mom. It was like being in a play.