My Hope Next Door

by Tammy L. Gray

  But Katie felt sure Asher’s dad knew more about her sins than almost anyone.

  What had she been thinking, coming here? She was that egg no one found during the annual Easter hunt. The one that made the park smell for a week. She didn’t belong inside this beautiful, pristine family with their matching Disney shirts and homemade spaghetti sauce.

  And she certainly shouldn’t be dating their son.

  Asher knew the minute Katie began to doubt herself. She had a “tell” he’d noticed the first night they spoke. It wasn’t her voice. She could control its sound better than anyone he knew, her words remaining silky smooth despite whatever anxiety she felt. Even her shoulders would relax as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

  But her hands told a different story. They were the one part of her body she constantly fought, the Achilles’ heel of a girl who could stare down a dragon without blinking. And those hands were now clenched behind her back, trembling.

  She’d remained frozen in place since his father’s handshake. Asher lightly clasped her elbow and helped her take that first step toward the dining table.

  He pulled out a chair and she sat, but there was a pallor to her face. He took the seat next to hers and brushed his finger along her forearm under the table. She met his eyes and he could see the unease.

  It hurt that she still didn’t trust him not to put her in a situation where she’d have to defend herself. One day she’d realize he wasn’t like the other guys. He wanted to be her hero.

  His mom placed the final bowl on the table and sat. “It’s so quiet, I hardly know what to do with myself.”

  “Relax. It’s nice for you to get a Sunday off now and then.” His dad turned warm eyes to their guest. “Thank you, Katie, for giving my wife a reason to take it easy.”

  “Um, sure, although the credit goes to Asher. He’s the one who forced me to come.”

  His dad burst out laughing, and Asher had to bite his cheek not to join in.

  It took a second before Katie realized what she’d said, but as soon as she did, her face was awash in horror. “No, I don’t mean it in a bad way.” She dropped her head into her hands. “Forget it.”

  “Coercion is one of Asher’s specialties,” his mom said, attempting to ease Katie’s embarrassment. “When the church was really small, they would bring all the kids up front for a children’s time. Asher was so proud he knew all the answers, we told him to stop speaking out and let the other kids have a turn. Well, one morning our children’s minister asked him a question, and he just shook his head and said—in front of the whole church, mind you—he said, ‘Oh no, my dad is gonna take a switch to my hide if I talk. He said so last week.’ Well, you can imagine the roar of laughter. And our complete mortification.”

  Katie’s shoulders shook slightly, and she finally dropped her hands from her face. “I’m guessing you didn’t actually take a switch to his hide.”

  Asher folded his hands behind his head. “Not only that, but Dad never again told me to be quiet in church.”

  “Yep. I was worried for a week that CPS was going to knock on my door. I guess it serves me right for using a figure of speech with a five-year-old.”

  When their laughter died down, his dad bowed his head and blessed the food. Even better, when Katie scooped spaghetti onto her plate, her hands no longer trembled.

  She glanced Asher’s way, and the sparkle in her eye made his neck flush. Somehow, he and his parents had managed to do the impossible.

  They’d made Katie Stone feel comfortable in a pastor’s home.

  CHAPTER 30

  Katie entered the large cafeteria-style break room madly clutching the handles of her father’s lunch pail. He’d forgotten it this morning and asked her to bring it by. She hadn’t wanted to, but since her father rarely talked to her anymore and even more rarely asked a favor of her, she’d agreed.

  Rows of tables stood empty, as the morning shift didn’t end for another ten minutes. She sat at the far right of one, pushing the edge of the plastic tablecloth away so it didn’t shift. Salt and pepper shakers stood at three-foot intervals, as did stacks of napkins, bottles of hot sauce, and containers of sweetener packets.

  She set the lunch box opposite her and folded her hands in her lap, trying not to wring them while she waited.

  A few workers trickled in after several minutes. Two of them recognized her and waved. She watched the door and four more entered, but none of them was her dad. Tired of the curious glances, she shifted her focus to her phone. He would see her when he came in; she didn’t need to keep watching for him.

  There was one text waiting for her.

  Asher: Didn’t see you outside. You working today?

  She couldn’t help but smile. They’d been officially dating for two weeks, and every new day was better than the last. Maybe it was because they’d been friends first, but somehow with Asher she didn’t need all the fillers she used to. They talked and watched movies and went for long walks together—all activities she would have found miserably stale and boring only a year ago, back when she fed off angst and emotional highs.

  “That smile for me, Firecracker?”

  Her phone slipped into her lap.

  Cooper lowered himself into the chair across from her. He wore the same blue uniform she’d seen on him a million other times, only his name tag indicated he’d received a promotion. He was crew leader now.

  “That seat’s for my dad.”

  “I know. He asked me to tell you he had some paperwork to finish and he’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Great,” she said, not bothering to hide her exasperation.

  “I heard you and Piper had a little showdown.” His eyes twinkled with satisfaction. “Jealousy has never suited you, Katie, but I am flattered.”

  “I’m not jealous. You can do whatever you want.”

  “Is that so?” They both knew he wasn’t talking about Piper anymore.

  She said nothing because her words wouldn’t matter anyway. Cooper wanted to twist the situation. He wanted to continue his game of “Will I tell or won’t I?” and she was getting really tired of playing along. She’d been home almost two months. If he was going to tell, he would have done it by now.

  “Your daddy know you’re trying to sell the house from underneath him?”

  She rolled her eyes and checked the door for her father. “As usual, your girlfriend is misquoting facts, but she did mention the fun you’ve been having at my expense. I suppose you two had many laughs about my so-called pregnancy.” She picked up a sugar packet and rolled it around in her hand. The rumor bothered her more than it should.

  “Hey.” Cooper’s voice dipped, and his hand stilled her fidgeting ones. “I would never joke about a child of ours. If you had been pregnant, it would have been the greatest news of my life.”

  Katie studied their joined fingers. Angry, abusive Cooper she could handle, but this version—the sad, tormented, exposed one—got to her, every time. She slid her hand away. This was one more area in her life where God’s mercy had intervened. An unplanned pregnancy with Cooper would have tied her to him forever. “Well, thankfully, that wasn’t our story.”

  A muscle under his eye twitched, a familiar tell that he didn’t like her response. He rubbed the anger off his face with the heels of his hands and tried again. “Chad called yesterday.”

  Her eyes flashed to Cooper’s. This time his words had hit their target, and he knew it.

  “I told him you were back in town.”

  “What did he say?” She tightened her fist, trying to squeeze away the sharp surge of grief and regret.

  He relaxed his shoulders, remained controlled and deliberate. “Let’s just say he’s not your biggest fan anymore.”

  “Was he sober?”

  Cooper faltered for the first time, his eyes accusing. “Chad hasn’t been sober longer than a week since that night. But I suppose you don’t care about that either. I mean, with your new life and all.”

  “I still
care,” she whispered, the weight of her transgressions pressing down on her more heavily than ever. He knew her weaknesses. Every one of them.

  “Do you? ’Cause it seems to me that you and Chad are doing the exact same thing: he’s hiding behind the bottle, and you’re hiding behind religion.” He reached out and grazed her hand with his fingertips. “You can still fix what you broke. I know Chad. He’ll see you clean and get his life in order. Laila will get her husband back, and we’ll finally be whole again.”

  A chill sliced through her, a coldness that no heater could dispel. It reached past her skin, past her muscles, and into her bones.

  “He wouldn’t come home for me.” Her voice shook with the denial.

  “Bull. Who handed him his first joint? Who convinced him not to join the army? He wouldn’t even buy an engagement ring for Laila until you approved.”

  Once again Cooper knew the exact words that would make her want to curl into the fetal position and never move again. “Chad has always been his own person. He makes his own decisions.”

  “Really? So you think it’s a coincidence that he went completely off the rails after you left? Lie to yourself all you want, babe, but I watched him unravel. And don’t think for one minute you weren’t part of why.”

  Tears threatened her eyes, which only elevated her anger. Cooper had crossed many lines, but she would not let him use Chad as a weapon. A calm descended, one that only came when she knew she had the power to shatter someone. “You’re the one lying to yourself. You think we were a family? Not even close. I let you visit our world, but you were never part of us.” She leaned in, fueled by the hurt burning in his eyes. “And if I had the power to erase those two miserable years, I would, right down to your name etched in that tree.”

  Cooper went still—like a rock—and the microwave dinged in the distance. The whole room seemed to hush when he stood, openmouthed and with ticked-off, wide eyes. Controlled outrage. She should have felt satisfied that she’d had the last word, but her gut twisted with guilt. She’d let her dark side win—again.

  Cooper practically bumped into her dad’s shoulder in his rush to leave the break room, mumbling a quick apology before disappearing.

  “When you gonna cut that boy some slack?” her dad asked, taking the seat Cooper had just vacated.

  When he quit tearing out her insides every time they spoke. “I hope that’s not why you asked me to bring your lunch.”

  “Please. I’m too old for all your drama and breakups. I wanted to talk about your mother.” He opened his lunch box and pulled out two sandwiches, chips, and an apple. “She didn’t want me discuss it, but I think you need to know. You two have been going at it again and, I don’t know, I thought maybe if you understood why she’s so upset, you’d be a little more patient.”

  More patient? She’d hardly said a word to her mother since the porch explosion. “Okay. So what’s going on?”

  “The medicine ain’t working. They’ve upped her dose, switched brands, but her body is still attacking itself. We’ve been seeing this specialist in Jacksonville, but they’ve just referred her case to some fancy doc in Atlanta.”

  Knots hardened in her stomach, and she laced and unlaced her fingers several times. She hadn’t spent nearly enough time researching the disease. Maybe on purpose. Maybe to avoid knowing. “How bad will it get?”

  “It’ll kill her. Slowly and painfully.” Her father’s somber tone made her feel empty. He sounded like a man who’d quit fighting and accepted his bleak reality. “I need you to play nice with her. Mental stress only makes things worse.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Try harder.” He unscrewed the water bottle he always kept on hand and took a big gulp.

  She nodded, because there was nothing to say when he told it like it was.

  He took a bite of his sandwich, and she decided it would be better to mention the property now than in front of her mom.

  “I talked to a real estate agent.”

  “This is not you helping her mental stress.” He tossed down the sandwich. “Or mine.”

  “Just listen, Dad. Market value is double what you originally paid for the house and the land.” She pulled an information packet from her purse. “These two-bedroom homes in Fairfield Community are only a third of that amount, with a small monthly fee for services. You just said she’s getting worse. Can you honestly tell me that house can sustain her in a wheelchair?”

  He ran a frustrated hand over his face. “No.”

  “Okay then. Just look it over. Think about it. If you honestly feel I’m wrong, I’ll back off.” She offered the packet and he took it reluctantly.

  He spent the rest of his lunchtime eating while flipping through pages and asking her questions. By the time he’d finished, she felt a bit of hope that, for once, her dad might actually take her advice.

  CHAPTER 31

  Her parents were gone again. Their second trip to Atlanta. Katie had questioned her father in passing about his decision regarding whether or not to sell, but he’d just squeezed his temples and said they’d deal with the house another day. At least she knew where she’d gotten her ability to compartmentalize. Her father was a pro.

  And tonight she’d do the same. Asher had asked her to dinner. A date. In public. Ready or not, she would once again be the talk of the town.

  At least this time the facts would be correct.

  Katie shut her front door and tried to stuff down the nerves. She felt good about herself, and that always helped when she was about to face a firing squad. She’d found another box of clothes her mother had tucked away, and half of them were her size. This outfit was her favorite. The slick navy capris had a mild sheen to them and were soft as satin. The champagne top was cut like a halter but sat high on her neck with a beaded collar, exposing only a hint of her tan shoulders.

  Her hair fell in straight layers just past her neckline. She’d cut it again and loved the sophisticated and sleek style. She wanted Asher to feel good about having her on his arm. Like he’d felt with Jillian.

  She practically jogged next door, her heels occasionally sinking into the grass. She was early. Ten minutes, but watching the clock and chewing her nails was getting old.

  Asher pulled open the door after two hard knocks. “When are you ever going to let me pick you up?”

  “I was restless. Besides, you take longer than a girl to get ready.” Her eyes trailed down his body. The shirt he wore was thick and tight across his chest. It hung just below the waist of his jeans, where her eyes lingered. Katie forced herself to look up. This wasn’t church Asher. Or sweaty outside Asher. This was hot, sexy, out-on-a-date Asher, and she felt herself swoon just slightly.

  He noticed her noticing him and smiled that crooked, confident smile that made her wonder how she’d ever thought he was anything but gorgeous. “Seems to be working for me.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  He wrapped two arms around her waist, pulled her close, and nuzzled her neck. “You’re stunning.”

  It was a crime how quickly he could light her on fire with just a faint touch to her skin, or with the trail of his lips as they made the slow trek to her mouth. “So stunning I’m having to remind myself why I decided we should go out in public.”

  “Let’s not, then.” She stood on her tiptoes, met his mouth with an eagerness that had his hand in her hair the minute they made contact. He didn’t let her push him back inside, although she attempted to.

  “Nice try,” he said, putting some distance between them. “There’s no way I trust myself alone with you looking like this.”

  She playfully slapped his chest but jerked back when she heard gravel crunching in the distance. That truck. That stupid blue truck was pulling into her driveway.

  Cooper had called her three times since their argument at lunch. Each message of his grew angrier. First he’d played it casual, acting as if they’d chatted on the phone a million times in the last four years instead of never. The next ca
ll came at two in the morning. He was drunk and rambling about the wallpaper she’d put up in his room. Told her it was peeling in the corners and raged at her for marking up his life when she had no intention of sticking it out.

  The final call had come two days ago, and she hadn’t made it through even half the voicemail. He was past the threats, past the words. He was done, he’d said. Done holding on to a lie.

  She should have known he wasn’t bluffing this time. Should have known that her fantasy life with Asher was moments away from crashing to the ground.

  Asher eyed the truck he’d seen parked at her house before. Behind it was another one, equally as big but black, with a keg mounted in the bed.

  Katie detangled herself from his embrace. “Just stay here.” She marched down the steps so fast she almost tripped.

  He caught up in three easy strides. “I’m coming too.”

  She froze and spun around in a fury. “No. I’ll handle them and then we can go out. Just like we planned.”

  The driver of the blue truck had hopped out and was now leaning against the hood, watching them. Asher couldn’t see the man’s face clearly, but he’d seen that silhouette before. Cooper.

  The last time, Asher hadn’t intervened. He hadn’t known his place or what Katie wanted. But it was different now. They were different, and he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her again.

  “I’m going with you.”

  A short redhead jumped out of the passenger side and wrapped her arms around Katie’s ex-boyfriend, keeping her back to them. Cooper didn’t move. He didn’t hug her or shift closer. He simply kept watching, his eyes locked so tightly on Katie that Asher considered the multiple places he could hide Cooper’s body.

  Katie refused to budge. “Please. Just let me deal with this alone.”

  “No.” They were eye to eye. Hers pleading, his getting more and more irritated. “That isn’t how things work now. We’re together. I’ve seen what he does to you, and it’s not happening again.”