I had always found Flanagan attractive, but since she had come back to Creekview after college, she’d commanded my attention even more despite the fact that I had originally tried to keep things on a platonic level. Now thoughts of her consumed me.
I might have been successful in keeping things friendly were it not for our time in Ireland, but now it was hopeless. I wanted her. Not just sex. Not just a relationship. I wanted her heart.
In this environment, I was a bit out of my element. I was dressed in a suit that I normally reserved for funerals, and I was much more accustomed to nature’s majesty than the grandeur that surrounded me now.
Maybe that was one of the things that surprised me most.
Until Flanagan, I wouldn’t have been caught dead in a place like this.
But now….
I’d seen other people change once they started a serious romantic relationship. Hell, I’d probably ragged a few of my friends about their waning levels of testosterone. But I understood now just how important another person’s happiness could be.
As I tugged on my collar to loosen it, I noticed the way the silky dress clung to her curves. She took a step forward, her line of vision angled toward the overhead dome as a slender leg peeked through the generous slit in the front of her gown. She pivoted, making a complete turn in an effort to examine the exquisite architectural details.
“Gorgeous,” she whispered.
“That’s an understatement,” I said softly, as her eyes drifted to my face and the realization that I was referring to her became evident on her features.
Her lips curved into a shy smile, and she looped her arm with mine, the diamond bracelet dangling on her wrist twinkling against the dark fabric of my jacket.
“You ready to find our seats?” I asked, liking the way she clung to me.
“Yes.”
Our seats were located in the center of the lower balcony. A hush fell over the crowd as the orchestra began to play Beethoven. Flanagan squeezed my arm, her enthusiasm obvious as she concentrated on the performance.
She was entranced by the music, and I was entranced by her. I could see the subtle differences in her facial expressions as the music changed. Her intense concentration was only broken by an occasional smile aimed in my direction.
Hell, this was definitely not my thing. I thought it would be torture, but the fact that it meant something to her gave me immense pleasure.
I repositioned myself, putting my arm around her shoulders, and I was rewarded when she leaned into me, the subtle hint of her perfume wafting in the air.
By the end of the performance, I had seen her amused, tensed, and saddened. As we stepped out of the theater into the cool night air, she huddled into my side.
“Are you cold?” I asked.
“A little bit.”
Pausing, I peeled off my jacket and held it up for her. She lingered only briefly before she slid her arms in. An amused grin crept across my face. The jacket was ridiculously large on her tiny frame, and seeing her draped in my clothing stirred something deep within me. A sudden feeling of possessiveness swept through my body as I once again wrapped my arm across her shoulders and pulled her into my side for additional warmth.
We had parked a few blocks away, and as we neared the truck, she hesitated.
Glancing down at her, I asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Can we rest for just a minute? I haven’t worn heels much lately, and they’re killing me.”
Before she could react, I scooped her up, her feet dangling over my arm as her shrill scream filled the air, followed by a peal of laughter. “Cade, put me down. You can’t carry me the rest of the way.”
I forced a pained expression on my face. “You don’t have much faith in me, do you?”
Beaming, she snaked her arm around my neck. “Of course I do, but I don’t want you to pull any muscles.”
I lightly tossed her in the air to prove to her I wasn’t struggling. “You’re like cotton candy, baby.”
Her brow furrowed. “Cotton candy?”
“Light, airy, and sweet.” I laughed as a certain memory came to mind. “Except for this one time in Ireland.”
“You so deserved that,” she defended.
I shot her a devilish grin. “Cotton candy is my weakness.”
“Oh, is it?” She cocked her head and pursed her lips.
“Damn right.” We approached the truck, and I set her down, so I could fish the keys from my pocket and unlock and open the door. I lifted her by the waist and helped her into the passenger seat.
As she pulled off her shoes, her gown fell open at the slit, exposing her slender legs. I ran my palm over her knee as I worked my way up to her silky thigh. I massaged her flesh and leaned in for a kiss. “Do you want to go back to my place?” I asked her.
“Yes, I do.”
I gave her thigh one last squeeze before I closed the door and headed to the driver’s side.
We were quieter on the way back home, maybe because it was dark or maybe because we were both in reflective moods. We were comfortable with each other, and neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with idle chatter. Instead, we were lulled by the softly playing radio and the hypnotic hum of the heat as it circulated through the cabin.
When we pulled into a parking spot in front of my apartment, I turned the ignition off and helped her out of the truck. She had my jacket pulled tightly around her as her shoes dangled from her fingers.
“I had fun tonight,” she said.
“So did I.” And I did, despite the fact that classical music wasn’t my forte. I still enjoyed my time with Flanagan, seeing a new side of her and creating a memory.
As we entered my apartment, Flanagan scanned the living room. “It looks like your dryer vomited in here.”
“Better than the hamper, right?” I asked, amused by her assessment. “I mean, at least they’re clean.” I gathered a pile of clothes off the couch and moved them to the recliner. “I meant to fold those earlier.” I glanced around the room, thinking I should have spent some time cleaning before our date. She sank down to the couch while I grabbed an empty pizza box and an empty beer can from the coffee table and put it on the kitchen counter.
When I returned to the living room, I grabbed the remote and sat down on the couch.
She squirmed beside me. “I guess I should take off your jacket, so I don’t get it wrinkled.”
“Keep it on if you want. I’ll take this suit to the cleaners after tonight, anyway. I probably won’t need it again until somebody dies.”
“You didn’t like the symphony?” she asked, a concerned look etched into her features.
“I liked it,” I assured her. “Not as much as hunting or fishing or….”
“Cotton candy?” she asked, a mischievous smile on her face.
“Definitely not as much as cotton candy.” I gathered her in my arms. “I’ll tell you what I loved about the symphony. I loved that you loved it. I loved those little expressions you make when the music changes, how your eyebrows lift or the corners of your mouth turn down, the way you clutch my arm when the music becomes intense, and that little soft exhalation noise you make when it turns soothing.”
She bit her lip and laid her head against my chest, and I stroked her long silken hair.
Curling my fingers under her chin, I lifted her face to mine for a kiss, but just before our lips touched, a soft rap sounded on the front door.
“Who the hell is that?” I asked more to myself than to Flanagan as she pulled away from me so I could stand.
I crossed the room and opened the door, no doubt doing a miserable job of hiding my surprise.
“Oh, good! I didn’t know if I had the right apartment, but I’ve been waiting to talk to you all night, and I thought I’d try one more time before I went back to the hotel.”
Anger and aggravation welled in my chest. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to call you?”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I was just so as
hamed.”
“How the hell could you do that to me when I’ve only tried to help you?” I demanded to know. When I thought back to that night, I got pissed off all over again.
Flanagan walked up beside me and placed her hand in the middle of my back. “Jessica!”
Jessica immediately tore her eyes from my face and spotted Flanagan.
“Seren, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Nonsense,” Flanagan assured her, pushing me back out of the way as she guided Jessica past me. “Come in. How’s the baby?”
I stared at Flanagan, wondering what in the hell she was doing.
Jessica smiled as she lifted Joseph up for Flanagan to see. “Plump as a piglet. He’s still eating like one, too.”
One look at Joseph, and it was difficult to hold on to my anger. As much as I disagreed with what Jessica had done, it was pretty obvious she had made things right with Flanagan.
“Let me see him,” I urged Jessica, taking him from her arms as Flanagan swooped her away.
“Hey, big guy,” I said softly as he watched me with wide, innocent eyes. I balanced him in my palms, feeling his weight. “You’re going to be a linebacker, aren’t you? Or maybe a heavyweight wrestler.”
The baby and I spent the next ten minutes discussing football while Flanagan and Jessica talked. Finally, Jessica came back and took the baby. “I don’t want to waste anymore of your time,” she said, an air of uncertainty between us. “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. I just panicked, Cade. The thought of doing all this on my own scared me, you know? Now that I’ve met Seren, I realize how perfect she is for you. I just don’t want you to hold any grudges toward me. I’ll even call your parents, if you want, and explain to them why I did what I did.”
I stood akimbo, making the choice to let my anger go. “That won’t be necessary.” I turned, my eyes searching for Flanagan. I motioned for her to come to me, and I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Flanagan told me that you came clean with her, and that’s all I care about. I’ll still help you as much as I can.”
“I know you would,” Jessica said, “but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and like I told Seren, I’ve caused the two of you enough trouble. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate all the help you’ve given me, and I’m hoping we can part as friends.”
Flanagan brushed her fingertip across Joseph’s tiny fist, and then she lifted her eyes to Jessica’s face. “We can both help you, Jessica. You have my number. If you need anything, call me. Maybe I could babysit for you sometime.”
Tears filled Jessica’s eyes, and her chin quivered. She leaned forward and hugged Flanagan’s neck. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice broken with emotion.
She hugged me, too. “Thank you, Cade. For everything. I’m really sorry.”
It pained me to see her so alone. “Like Flanagan said, you call us if you need something.”
Sniffling, she nodded her head. “I will.” Swiping at her tears with the back of her hand, she smiled. “Bye.”
Flanagan and I both told her bye and watched her walk away.
We walked back in my apartment, and I closed the door. “How did you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“Take an extremely awkward situation and make it…not.”
“I think she’s nice,” Flanagan offered, and I was amazed at the compassion that she had shown for Jessica and her baby.
“She is,” I agreed. “Most of the time, anyway. I wish I could get Pax to talk to her, but it seems to be a hopeless cause.”
“If it’s meant to be, he’ll come around,” Flanagan assured me.
I pulled her to me, and kissed her temple. “Thanks,” I whispered.
“For what?”
“For not freaking out because Jessica showed up on my doorstep.”
“I don’t feel threatened by her, Cade. Not now.” She rose up on her tiptoes and dropped a gentle kiss on my lips.
An intense feeling overcame me. “Damn, you’re incredible. You know that?”
“I was serious, you know. About helping her.”
“You would help Jessica?” I honestly thought she was just being diplomatic.
Flanagan nodded. “She’s scared. If I were her, I would want someone to help me.”
I had no words to express the way Flanagan made me feel. She was filled with compassion, and it made her even more beautiful in my eyes.
“You handled the baby like a pro,” she continued. “You’re going to make a good father one day.”
“And you’ll make a great mother. I want to have a houseful. What about you?”
A solemn look washed over her face. “I would love to have a houseful.”
Emotions flooded me. I loved the way she looked with my jacket wrapped around her body, her strawberry blonde curls contrasting sharply against it. I was touched by the compassion that she had shown to a woman she had every right to hate. I knew that I wouldn’t have fared nearly as well had the tables been turned. Flanagan was a better person than I because I would have been eaten with jealousy.
And to know that she, too, wanted children…. I could scour the globe and never find a woman who was more perfect for me.
“Wait right here,” I urged her.
A baffled look fell upon her features.
I held my index finger up. “I’ll be right back.”
Rushing to my bedroom, I dug through the top drawer of my chest, shifting unmatched socks out of my way until I found the small white box tucked in the back. Snatching it, I hurried back to the living room where Flanagan awaited my return.
“I was going to wait a while longer,” I told her. “I didn’t want to scare you off if I moved too fast, but damn it, I can’t wait another minute.”
I knelt on one knee in front of her and flipped the box open. Her lip began quivering.
“Flanagan, when I least expected it, you came back into my life. I have valued all of our conversations and debates and laughs that we’ve shared at Whiskey Nights. I value your friendship. And well, the truth is now that we’ve gotten to know each other better, I know what a truly incredible woman you are, and I know you’re better than I deserve….”
She started shaking her head. “You can’t say that because you don’t know me.”
“I know everything I need to know. I know I love you, and I want you to marry me.”
I had planned on something more romantic, but the tears in her eyes told me that she was filled with emotion, much like me.
“Cade, please don’t.”
Her plea to stop made the air in my lungs freeze mid-breath. My mind scrambled to make sense of her response. “Flanagan, I want you to be my wife.”
“Cade….”
“If you’re worried about my commitment because I deceived you, I can promise you that you’re the only one for me.”
A choked sob escaped her throat. “It’s not that,” she whispered. She tried to smile through her tears. “I know you love me.”
“Then what?” Confusion ran rampant. “I don’t understand.”
She grabbed my hands, urging me to stand. “I don’t feel well,” she said. “Could you please take me home?”
“What is it?” When she hesitated, I continued, “Just tell me.”
She moistened her lips. “It’s not you, Cade.”
“Then what?”
“Please don’t make me talk about it right now.”
“If not now, then when?”
Tears streamed down her face, and I had no idea what I should be feeling.
She swiped at the wetness on her cheek. “Will you take me home?”
I grasped her by the shoulders. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t talk about it right now. I need some time.” She palmed each side of her head, gathering her hair as she clenched her fists. “Please, Cade.”
Seren
The dejected look on his face made me feel horri
ble. I knew I should just tell him. It’s what I would expect of him. But when I thought about what the consequences might be….
A lump formed in my throat. I felt as if I was on the verge of a breakdown, and I needed air. He was too close. My chest heaved as I tried to breathe. I was suffocating.
He dropped his hands away and took a step back, closing the ring box and tossing it onto the couch.
“You want to go home?” he asked, his voice filled with frustration, his handsome features contorted in a combination of anger and pain.
I didn’t blame him for being mad, but the panic that welled in my chest kept me from opening up. I nodded.
He exhaled loudly. “Let’s go.”
I followed him to his truck, sniffling in an effort to keep my nose from running. I had ruined our perfect evening. He helped me in, but this time was different. It was as if his hands burned while he touched me, as if he couldn’t drop them away from me fast enough.
In an attempt to not take it personally, I reasoned that he didn’t understand. How could he when I had explained nothing? Maybe I could have just blurted out the truth, and he would take me in his arms and soothe me, tell me it didn’t matter, that everything would be fine.
Or maybe he would realize that he had rushed things, that I wasn’t what he thought he was getting, that I wasn’t what he needed in a wife.
We drove to my house in total silence. He had even turned off the radio, maybe in hopes that I would say something. I spent most of my time staring out the window, trying to keep my sobs at bay. I wished things were different for me. I wished I didn’t have to tell him.
When he pulled in my driveway, he quickly walked around the truck and assisted me, but he said nothing else, just watched me as I walked into my basement apartment.
I closed the door and collapsed against it. I heard him slam his door and the roar of the engine as he backed out and drove away. Realizing too late that I was wearing his jacket, I closed my eyes and sniffed the lapel, his scent both comforting and upsetting. I quickly changed into sweatpants and a tee shirt. Then, I went upstairs to find my mother.
Deceived Page 22
