Safe to love you (Ink Series - Spin Off Book 2)

by Jude Ouvrard

  I wonder if she is still dating the tattooed guy from New York. I'm also wondering why he isn’t coming to South Carolina with her. It seems odd, because she obviously needs support. She wouldn’t have called me if she didn’t.

  If she’s going to be at the airport at 9am, I have to be on the move at 6:30am. The alarm on my phone is set for 5:45am. All I have to do is grab my backpack in the morning, and the food that I have in the fridge will get thrown in the trash. It’s a good thing there’s not much. I've been an avid take-out addict lately. Cooking is fun, but not when it’s over ninety degrees outside and not when you’re cooking for one.

  I wake up two minutes before the alarm goes off. If I’m lucky, I got about three hours of sleep, because I’ve spent most the night thinking about Abbie. I'm exhausted but I need to get moving.

  Presley

  It's the middle of the night and I haven't been able to close my eyes. I'm tired, but all I can think about is Abbie, and it's enough to keep me from sleeping. She must have read my message by now. Why doesn't she text or call back? I’ve never seen her mad before, so I have no idea how she normally reacts. Right now, she’s fucking killing me. I want to drink until I fall asleep, but I can't, because I have another day on set tomorrow. I'm a mess. I can’t live without her, and I can't stand that fact that she’s mad at me. Maybe I should go to her place and try to talk to her. I check the clock and it’s 3 am. Come on Presley, she clearly wrote on the napkin that she'd call you back.

  I need to do something to try and get my mind off of her. I get out a sketchpad, and I start drawing.

  The first thing I draw is a bee.

  I think I'm a lost cause.

  I love Abbie more than my own life, so I guess it's only natural that I can't stop thinking about her. She’s haunting me. I don't know if it’s from the lack of sleep, or my fear about losing her, but come up with a crazy idea. What about a new tattoo? I think I’ll ink a bee onto my left forearm. I still have a little space left and It’s a perfect spot. I decide to ink a pretty, girly bee with enthralling green eyes. The design in my head is more cartoonish than realistic.

  I get everything prepared: the stencil, the ink and my custom-made machine. Joy-Anna is going to go nuts over this tattoo when she discovers what I’ve done. It’s a pretty huge step. When I was working in a tattoo shop, I refused to do this type of impulsive tattoo I don't know how many times, but with mine, it’s different. Abbie’s the only woman I want. If I'm not able to be with her, I’d rather be alone. There is no way I'm ever going to change my mind about her. Abbie is the woman of my dreams. Right before I start, I study the stencil critically. I add one major detail – the necklace I gave Abbie. That way, she’ll know the bee signifies her, so she won't have any doubt.

  I'm either a hopeless romantic, or a complete idiot. I'm pretty sure Joy-Anna will go with the latter. By the time I'm finished marking the tattoo, my eyes are killing me, and my arm is painful. I take two Advil and fall back into bed, to try and go to sleep. I have two more hours before the alarm starts buzzing in my ears. I can't wait to see Alicia and Joy’s faces when they see the new tattoo. Alicia won’t be surprised; she knows how I am. Each and every one of my tattoos has a special meaning, some reason for being on my body. This one is even more significant, as far as I’m concerned.

  The alarm announces it’s 8:00am. Stupid alarm. I hate the damn thing. This is going to be a hell of a long day.

  I check my phone... no missed calls, no text messages. My heart hurts and I'm exhausted. I take a shower, taking care to keep the tattoo dry, get dressed and head back to the studio. I mope around. I take the photos, trying to get the best shots I can, even though I don’t give a damn. Joy-Anna hasn’t noticed the new tattoo yet. I'm anxious about her reaction, but she’ll just have to deal. I smile, just thinking about the fit she’ll probably throw. She isn’t the type of person who holds back her emotions; she’s straightforward and although it is frustrating as hell, it is also entertaining.

  I'm already on a second cup of black coffee, and the caffeine’s finally kicking in. Joy-Anna is standing beside me.

  I can feel her eyes on my arm and I have this huge grin on my face… I know what’s coming.

  ''What the fuck, Presley? Have you lost your freaking mind? A bee? Do you honestly think I'm stupid? I know you did that because of Abbie.''

  I can't help but chuckle at her reaction, which makes her even angrier.

  ''You think this is funny? Does Abbie know? She’d better come back, or you're stuck with a meaningless fucking bee tattoo.'' Joy’s fuming. Her cheeks are fiery red and I swear I can see smoke coming out of her ears. ''This is the most ridiculous thing you have ever done.''

  ''I’ll never love anyone else, Joy. She owns my heart; my love. I’ve given them both to Abbie. This tattoo belongs on my arm, just like yours and Alicia’s. '' I point to the other tattoos on my arms, which represent each of them. Yeah, I'm a sensitive kind of guy.

  ''Whatever, Pres. I'm sorry you haven’t heard from Bee yet. '' She calms down swiftly, which surprise me. Joy normally doesn’t let things go that easily. It’s my lucky day.

  Every time I'm reminded that Abbie’s not talking to me, my heart hurts. ''No, I haven’t heard from her,'' I respond. The smile I was sporting a few seconds ago is gone. I miss her terribly. I sneak a look at my phone for the hundredth time today, and there it is. Abbie’s sent me a text message. I'm in between a change of sets, so I have a couple of minutes to read what she’s said and reply.

  Abbie: Hi Presley. I'm out of town. Got an emergency call from Dwayne last night; my mom's sick. Don't worry, I'm with Cam. Hope you fixed your issue with the bitch... I won't be able to call/text a lot since I'll be at the hospital most of the time. ILY

  Cam? What the hell? Why didn't she call me? Wait a second, her mom's sick? Damn it. I don’t know if I should be mad about her being with Cam or happy because she’s contacted me. It’s a terrible mix of emotions.

  Presley: Love, how can I not worry? Where are you exactly?

  I wait impatiently but I don't get an answer. The models are waiting for me. I delayed too long and now I’ve got to deal with an irritated director, who’s pissed because I took forever getting started. I keep my cool and work even harder. At least Abbie said she loved me. It’s all I needed to hear. With a bit of luck, she'll have replied to my message by the time we’re finished with the shoot. I'm getting tired of taking photos of semi-naked women. I never thought I would say that, but all I want is to be done and find my girlfriend. I need to be with her.

  The shoot finally ends, and I grab my cameras and the rest of the gear and head home. I don’t waste any time hanging around the set. I want to be with Abbie, but I have no idea where she is. I don’t even know her mother’s surname. I realize I’ve got no way of finding out which hospital her mother was admitted to. At least Abbie didn't sound mad in her message. If I remember correctly, she said her mom lives in Myrtle Beach.

  Shit, I‘m worried. She’s with Cam, who also happens to be an ex-boyfriend. He seems like a good guy, but clearly he still loves Abbie. It was written all over his face when we saw him at the restaurant in New York. At least I know he’s there to support her, and I’m pleased that she isn’t alone to deal with this crisis, but he’d better not cross any lines.

  I try calling her, but I get voice mail straight away. “Hi, this is Abbie Rylee. Leave a message.” I hang up, because I’d rather send her a text message. I don’t know what to say.

  Presley: Bee, it's been hours since I got your message, please let me know what's going on. I fucking miss you.

  I pace the apartment, waiting for a response. Nothing. The only thing I can do now is wait for her to call or send a text. As soon as I know where she is, I’m getting on a plane. I suddenly remember. Shit. I have another shoot booked.

  Fuck.

  Chapter FOURTEEN

  Abbie

  I'M PRACTICALLY running toward the terminal exit, desperate to find Cameron. Fast. I need t
o be with Mom, and I hope I’ll be able to talk to her. I don’t know how bad her condition is, and that’s the hardest part to deal with right now. I don't know what to expect. Is she in a coma? Is she heavily medicated? I want to hug her and talk to her, try and make up for what we’ve missed out on. I've never been a believer, but I'm praying to God to let me talk to her before time runs out. My backpack is bouncing around on my back while I’m trying to blink back tears. I must look like a complete idiot, but I don’t care. Finally, in the main airport terminal, I try to find Cam through my blurred vision. It doesn't take me long to identify him. Holy crap! Cameron. He's so tanned, it's crazy, and he looks so incredibly fit. Physically, he’s a different person than I remember. He’s looking good, I have to admit. Even though I saw him not long ago, it was very brief and I was so surprised to see him, so I didn’t take much notice of how he looked. When I think of him, I always imagine the old Cameron, the man who used to be my Cameron. He was much skinnier and his muscles were half the size they are now. I pluck a tissue from my backpack and dry my face.

  ''Hey, if it isn't my man in black,'' I announce with a little smile on my face. Even though the circumstances aren’t ideal, I'm glad to see him, and I can't hide it.

  ''Abbie, I'm so sorry about your mother.'' He takes my hand as he guides me through the parking lot. For the first few seconds it feels really weird because I'm used to holding Presley’s hand, but I get over the awkwardness quickly. I know Cam knows that I'm with someone. I’m certain he is just being a friend lending support and I appreciate it more than I could say.

  I glance around the parking lot. ''Where’s your car, I assume you’ve still got the Eclipse?''

  He’d always dreamed of buying a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and the week prior to our breakup, he purchased one. It was midnight blue, with a black leather interior. He loved that car more than anything, it was his pride and joy.

  ''I sold it.'' He says, scratching his scalp with his left hand.

  I stop walking and stare at him. ''What? You can't be serious. You loved that car; it was your baby.''

  He sighed. ''Yeah, well, ever since I met her, I changed my mind.'' He points to the black motorbike parked a few feet away.

  ''Her? A Ninja? Your dad's going to freak out.'' I'm sure Frank doesn't approve of his son’s vehicle choice. He knows how Cam is. Always the need for speed. I’m sure this is not a good idea.

  ''Just get your ass on the seat and hold on tight.''

  I do as I'm told. I slip my backpack onto my back and settle onto his bike. He sits in front of me and I wrap my arms around his waist. His abs tighten underneath my hands, and I immediately get a little uncomfortable. His body is reacting to my touch; I'll have to be more careful in future.

  ''Don't overthink this Ab; I'm just giving you a ride,'' Cam says quietly.

  He knows. I haven’t touched him like this in years, and it’s awkward. I lean my head against his back and I’m unable to hold back the tears. I let them free. I'm not looking forward to seeing my mom in her current condition. I wish I was coming here for a different reason. Shopping, a spa day, or something fun... anything but this situation we found ourselves in. Instead Mom will be lying in a hospital bed, wearing a nightgown. I imagine her skin will be pale and she'll probably hate the fact that I’m seeing her like this.

  The Ninja makes a huge amount of noise, but I think that’s what makes Cameron proud to own the bike. He obviously loves it, as much as he loved his car. He handles it very well and he's an excellent rider. I’ve always felt safe with Cam, and I still do, even on the back of a motorbike. It reminds me of when we were kids. He was always the one who protected me, making sure I was safe and in good hands. He used to act like my big brother.

  ''Here we go, Abbie. Do you want me to come in with you, or do you want to go on your own?'' I hadn’t thought about this question before we reached the hospital, but the answer comes swiftly.

  ''I’d like it a lot if you would come up with me,'' I say, hoping he will agree.

  Cam smiles and steps toward me. He cups my face in his hands and wipes away the tears. ''I'm here for you, always.'' He pauses, looking straight into my eyes. ''I wasn’t happy about that guy, Dean, but I knew you’d stopped talking to me because of him. I don’t hold it against you, Abbie.''

  ''Thanks, Cam. I appreciate it.''

  We walk into the hospital, and I ask at the front desk for Mom’s room number. This is history repeating itself. I can't stop the tears from falling. Cam's glued to my side and everything seems like a blur. I suffer through flashbacks of my father's stay in hospital. This is painful – very painful.

  We enter the elevator, and it's crammed full of people. Cameron holds me against his side. I'm about to face Mom, and all the memories of Dad in the exact same position continue to flood back. Once we reach Mom’s room, I freeze in front of the closed door. I can’t move, I can’t force myself to go inside. I just keep crying, too afraid to face her. Cameron's trying to calm me down, telling me that I can do this, that I need to be strong. He promises me he will be by my side the whole time. I nod in agreement to everything he has said.

  Taking a deep breath, I press my hand against the door and push it open. I slowly walk into the room and I notice Dwayne sitting by Mom’s side. His eyes are tired and red from crying too much. He stands up when he sees us, and a small smile appears on his lips.

  ''She's here, honey, Abbie's here.'' He sounds surprised to see that I actually came, as he tells Mom of my arrival.

  ''Abbie? My baby? Abbie?'' I can’t see Mom yet, but her voice is raspy. Not like I remember.

  As I catch my first look at Mom, I try to hold back the tears, but I'm failing miserably. ''I'm here, Mom.'' I haven’t seen her in such a long time.

  The thing I notice first is that she’s lost so much weight. Her face is so different, thinner, and there are dark circles under her eyes. She's way too pale for someone who lives in South Carolina, and her lips are cracked and dry. The pain I suffer when I look at her is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. She used to be full of life, dancing while she was doing the dishes, running every morning to keep fit, and now I doubt she can manage to stand on her feet. All I keep asking myself as I stand there watching her is why her? Why me? Why do I have to deal with another parent with cancer?

  ''How long have you known, Mom?'' I question quietly.

  It takes her a minute to speak. ''We found out about a week ago. I wasn't feeling well while Dwayne was out of town for three weeks. I didn't go to the doctor, because I thought it was a simple virus. When he arrived home, he was so worried he forced me to come to the hospital and they did a whole bunch of tests. I have breast cancer – at least that's where it all started – but the cancer’s spread to my lungs and my kidneys. They can’t save me, Abbie, I only have a few days left. Maybe a week, if I'm lucky.'' She starts to cry. ''I never saw any signs of illness, until recently. I was tired all the time but I thought I was going through menopause or something.'' Mom seems as shocked as I am about her situation. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for Mom and Dwayne.

  Cameron's standing behind me. Before I collapse to the floor, he catches me and holds me tightly in his arms. I need him so badly right now. He's the only person I have left who connects me to the past. He understands.

  My heart hurts. I’m not sure how to deal with this. I haven’t been close to my mom in years. I’m not even sure I know her anymore, and yet here I am, seeing her sick with no chance of survival. I hate that my mind is lost in a turmoil of regrets. I was okay with our situation before this morning and now it all changes because I’m about to lose her.

  Life is not fair. It’s unfair for Mom to be dying at such a young age. And it’s unfair that I have to deal with this a second time.

  It’s late. Cam and I are staying at Mom and Dwayne’s house. I’ve never been here before, so it's strange to find myself in a bedroom with my name written on the door. All of these years, she’s kept a bedroom for me, and I never knew. I
was never invited. It makes me aware of how many regrets she must have lived with.

  Dwayne will be staying with her overnight. He said he'd call us if anything happened. I felt bad about leaving him at the hospital, but I really need to get some sleep. The last twenty-four hours have been, well, hell.

  Once I’m settled in the bedroom, I check my phone. I completely forgot to call Presley, haven’t even sent him a message. He must be going crazy. When I finally look at the screen of my phone I’ve missed three texts and my stomach begins to sink. Damn it. He's obviously losing it.

  Abbie: Sorry, sorry, sorry... I was at the hospital all day. I just got to Mom’s house. She's very sick, baby. She only has few more days left. I'm so exhausted, but I have to stay strong. She needs me.

  I hope he'll answer quickly.

  Presley: Can I call you?

  I should have thought about that before. My fingers are flying over the buttons, I can’t wait to hear his voice. Everything will seem better when I hear his voice.

  ''Bee?'' I love it when he calls me Bee. It's so cute.

  ''Yeah it's me...'' I take a deep breath. ''I’m so sorry, Presley. Between Kelly, and now my mom, there's been a lot going on.''

  ''Forget about Kelly. She was drunk, and it didn’t mean anything. She was behaving badly on purpose, because she saw you had arrived on the set.'' He sounds exasperated.

  ''It’s okay, I get it.” I smile grimly. “Now, at least.''

  ''Where are you, anyway?''

  ''Myrtle Beach.''

  ''I have a big job tomorrow and the following day. I can’t cancel them, Bee, as much as I’d like to fly down there. It’s at Dad’s firm and I had to convince him I’m good enough. It will look bad to him and his partners if I cancel last minute.''