by Jude Ouvrard
Lewis is so tiny, and to be honest, he looks a little blue. His eyes are open and his cries are deafening. I'm so nervous. I've never held a baby before. I hope I’ll do everything right.
"He’s a healthy baby; 21-inches-long, weighing eight pounds ten ounces. We're going to get him in his little pyjamas and hat." She cleans him up with a little towel, and he doesn't seem to like it much. Poor thing, I just want to hold him. "And after that, little boy, you are going to go with Daddy to your room to wait for Mommy to wake up," the nurse says.
She explains what I'm going to have to do... to my son. Weird.
"Out of curiosity, do you know how long she'll be sleeping?"
"She should return in an hour or two." The nurse comes to me with Lewis, and I get my arms ready to hold him. "Watch for his head, and place your hand on his little behind like this." She smiles. "He’s a beautiful baby. Congratulations."
"Thank you."
Just like that, I'm a father, and I have no clue what I’m supposed to do. I walk to Abbie’s room, completely dazzled by him. He is so precious. He has blonde hair just like Abbie’s, and his eyes remind me of my mother’s. I could watch him forever and never get bored. I sit in the rocking chair, looking at him and singing little lullabies. He is sleeping already. I place a blanket on the empty bed and I carefully put him down. He is already wrapped up in a blue baby blanket. I take out my camera and take a few pictures. Some are close ups of his face, and some are a wider angle to capture every little part of our baby boy.
I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. I text Dad, Alicia, and Joy-Anna and tell them to visit us after dinner. I want to make sure Abbie is feeling well enough and has had plenty of rest. I still have time to cancel if she doesn't want to see anyone today. I can't wait to see her and share my joy with her. I miss her already.
I take Lewis in my arms again, and I lie on the bed to relax a little. I haven't slept much in the last twenty-four hours, so I figure I need to rest while Abbie is in recovery. I place Lewis on my chest and hold him tightly to me. The sound of his breathing is adorable.
I close my eyes and fall asleep.
"Presley, baby, wake up. They have to transfer me to my bed."
I wake up to the sound of the most beautiful voice in the world; my wife’s. "Hey Sweetheart, sorry, our son is tired, as you can see." The nurse comes to take Lewis from my arms. I get out of Abbie’s bed and they move her. She still can't feel her legs because of the epidural. I know she’s anxious to hold Lewis and admire him. As soon as she’s in the bed, she asks to sit up and I help her.
"Can I have him now?" she demands.
"Of course, Mrs. Williams. Watch out for his little head. Place your arms like mine and I’ll put him into your arms." The nurse smiles as she watches Abbie holding our son for the first time. Abbie has tears in her eyes. I decide I need to take a few photos to capture the moment.
"He is perfect, Presley. He has your mother’s eyes. He is perfect..." Abbie says as she sobs. I take one last photo before I go to her side and hug her.
"You’ve made me so happy, Abbie. You gave me a son. You both complete me."
"You are my life now... my family. You and Lewis."
The nurse heads towards the door. “I’ll come back when he wakes up... We're going to have to feed him soon."
Abbie is willing to try breastfeeding. She knows it's going to be hard, but she wants what’s best for our baby. She looks exhausted. Her eyes are puffy, and she has dark circles below them. She's pale and looks fragile. She doesn’t complain, but I know she’s not feeling well.
"My love, why don’t you try to sleep for a while, I’ll take care of the baby. You need to rest." She looks at me in despair, not willing to relinquish her hold on our son "I’ll wake you up as soon as he wakes up, I promise."
"Presley, I can’t... "
"Shhh. Abbie, listen to me. You need to rest now. Please." I take her hands in mine. She looks into my eyes, and then down to our baby. "You went through a lot in the past twenty-four hours. Take the time you need to get some sleep. Trust me."
"Okay." She gives me back our little baby boy, and by the time I get comfortable in the rocking chair, she is already sleeping.
I let her sleep for almost three hours. Our little boy slowly wakes up. His little fingers grip my t-shirt and he makes little sounds. It’s time to wake her up.
"Abbie, it’s time!"
Her eyes open as soon as I say her name. "Hey, Daddy." She smiles.
The nurse is back just in time; sometimes I think they are spying on us. They help Abbie with breastfeeding. It looks painful, but she insists on doing it. As soon as Lewis has a little to drink, he falls back to sleep. What a life!
Bentley and Lucia are the first to arrive for a visit. They are both ecstatic. They give Abbie a huge bouquet of blue and white roses and a box of chocolates. Bentley gives me a cigar; I just knew he was going to do that. Bentley can’t stop saying how proud he is, and Lucia steals the baby from Abbie’s arms. She just stares at him. As a photographer, I can’t help myself. I take a few more photos.
We have a private room, so it’s possible for us to have more than two guests at a time. The hospital staff don’t seem to like it, but they didn't say anything. We are quiet, and Abbie knows that if she wants to rest, she only has to say so. Nobody wanted to push her past her limits. She’s the new mother here, and she has a lot of adjustments to make.
Alicia, Joy-Anna, Derek and Joshua all arrive together. Alicia remains quiet, but she looks at Lewis, and I see tears of joy in her eyes. While Abbie was pregnant, Alicia told me how much she wants a baby. Right after her marriage, she and Joshua are planning on getting pregnant. Joy-Anna can barely stay still in one place. She dances from one foot to another. They all congratulate Abbie and stare at our son. I'm so fucking proud. My boy, my blood. Mine!
This is what I’ve been dreaming about during her pregnancy: the moment where we get to share him with our family. The smiles, the laughter, the tears. The beauty of a new life among us.
Joy-Anna and Alicia have bought so many gifts for the baby. They bought little blankets, tiny Converse sneakers, plenty of pyjamas and diapers. Joshua and Derek brought Abbie a baby book to write down all the information about Lewis, and a nice bouquet of white orchids. I’ll have to ask them to take some of the things back to our apartment tonight, because the hospital room isn’t that big.
Abbie is so proud, and adapting to her new role perfectly. She's everything to me; my love for her is so much stronger after sharing this event. I admire her. I worship her.
I can't wait to take her and our son home. Just a few more days, until she is feeling better. Her body needs to heal properly. I know she is in pain. She won’t say anything, but I know exactly when she is due for more pain killers. She's tough, an amazing woman.
We're home. The Williams family is home. The baby is already sleeping in his crib, and Abbie is sitting on the couch, relaxing. She has pain in her lower stomach due to the C-section. I want her to rest so that she’ll make a faster recovery.
The house is quiet and peaceful. I give Abbie a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup. She says she wants comfort food. We’ve been at the hospital for nearly five days, so it’s good to be able to eat homemade food and shower when we wish. Lucia has provided us with tons of homemade meals, so we don’t have to worry about cooking for a couple of days.
We're spoiled and happy. We have a loving family; what else could I ask for? Maybe a little more sleep, but I think it’s a lost cause until Lewis is older. The color of his eyes won’t be stable until he reaches a year old, but I can see my mother in the shape of his eyes. They could be green or grey, but it doesn’t matter. I just feel like she is living through him.
I hear the baby cry and I hurry to his room. I change his diaper. I always thought changing a diaper would make me nauseous, but it turns out, I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me at all. He is only a few days old and already I'm in infinite adoration with him. He is a strong
little man. I’m already planning his first photo session. I can't wait.
I bring our son to my wife and watch as she breastfeeds him. She says it's a little painful at first, but it’s getting better with time. I could watch them all day; it brings me such a pure joy.
A year ago, if I has been asked where I thought my life would be twelve months later, I would never have thought I would be a husband, let alone a father. I never expected to fall in love with someone the way I did with Abbie. It was unexpected, but so amazingly strong and real. She has changed my whole world and my perspective on life. She and my son are the most single most important things in the world. I worship them.
Every day I love Abbie more and more. Our love is growing every single minute we spend together.
I’m a very happy man.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
This novel is the first story I’ve ever completed in English. At the time, I had the support and help from a couple of friends. Tracey and Judy gave me the best advice possible and Emily went through hell reading my first draft. It really was hell. I published a chapter of this story online week after week and I was highly surprised by the feedback I had.
I put this story on pause for a while until I found a way to make it shine again. Debbie edited it and I knew I had more work to do to make it better. I did some and Megan proofread it with many suggestions. After going through them, I think, I reached a level which I’m happy with. Thank you Simone for reading it quickly and giving me your input. Also, Jennifer Theriot, your help was truly appreciated. THANK YOU!
I’m surrounded by so many caring and nice friends. I feel very grateful.
I hope you enjoyed this story. Thanks to Danielle for reading it when I shouldn’t have let anyone read it. It was in the middle of all of its change. Your support means a lot.
Thank you ALL.
Jude xox
WHO IS JUDE?
Jude Ouvrard is an author who writes from the heart, and reads with passion and devotion. Jude enjoys stories of drama, true love, tattoos, and everything in between. While writing is her therapy, reading is her solace. Life doesn't get better than books and chocolate, and maybe a little bit of shopping.
A romance lover, Jude writes about love, pain, heartbreak and matters that will challenge your heart. A book can tell an unexpected story, no matter which directions it takes. Jude embraces words that have haunted her for years.
Jude is a working mom who dedicates her time to a law firm and writing books. She has an energetic five-year old superhero son, and a supportive boyfriend of thirteen years. Her family is her rock; she could not survive without them. Born a country girl, she transformed into a city woman who now lives in Montreal, Canada. Although French is her first language, Jude decided to write in English because she liked the challenge.
Jude Ouvrard is the author of two novellas, Under the Sun and Wonderland, and five novels, Lost Dreams, Body, Ink, and Soul, Ophelia, Music, Ink, and Love and Not Afraid to Love You. She is currently working on a new project.
"Drama, true love, tattoos...and everything in between!"
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