LET IT BE US
Copyright © 2016 by Barbara Speak
KINDLE EDITION
Cover Art by: The Final Wrap
Edited and Formatted by: Ready, Set, Edit
Cover Models: Mac Robinson & Marissa Burkhead
Photography by: Zach Trussell
This ebook is protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. Any reproduction or other unauthorized use of the material herein is prohibited.
This ebook is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
When you think life has finally come to be what it should have been all along, you take a breath and relax. You take comfort in the fact that happiness is a place you can call home and all the demons from your past have not only been slayed but are destined to be doomed for eternity.
Or in my case, for as long as their prison sentences would last, but I chose to feel validated for all my efforts to ensure their demise.
Years of my life were consumed by secrets and abuse. I didn't ask for a father to die, a step-dad to come into my life and hate me, or for a mother that never knew how to show love or compassion to her children. More than anything, I never asked to endure everything that came from loving Kale Thompson. But life isn't always fair, and I believe that there's no reason to feel sorry for myself and instead move forward and live what life we have left.
Chapter 1
Nothing could have been better than the moment Canyon walked into the courthouse that day, forgiving me for walking away from him. It had been ten long months since I had seen his beautiful face. Almost three hundred days of me hoping and praying that my choices were the right ones and he would understand.
Luckily, those prayers were answered, and nothing was going to top that. Well, nothing other than Shelby's reaction when the door of our house in Alabama swung open and Canyon was standing in the threshold.
She had been watching TV but the second she looked up she started screaming, "No way! No way. No way. No way!"
I was standing behind him, watching her as she began to shake in disbelief. Those little hands went over her mouth while she stood in astonishment as Canyon wiped his own tears and began to close the space between them. He didn't make it to the center of the room before Shelby burst into a sprint and jumped into his open arms.
I stepped into the house, wanting so badly to comfort her, but this wasn't my moment, it was theirs. Canyon had always been her Knight in shining armor. The one man she counted on. I wasn't alone in feeling lost without him—we both suffered—and the grip they had on each other proved Canyon felt it too. We were all each other had in the world and to be reunited meant everything.
Shelby's body began to jerk, and I could hear her gasp for breath as she sobbed into his shoulder. I couldn't keep myself from them any longer. Crossing the room, I wrapped them both in my arms and let all of the pent up emotions lose. I never thought this day would come. Even in my dreams they always ended with Canyon turning to me and saying, "I hate you for leaving me." It was what made me wake up every day regretting my decisions.
"Damn, I missed you two so much. Now that I have you back I'm never letting you go again."
I needed to catch my breath before wiping my own tears and responding, "It was never you that let us go. I'm sorry my past gave us no choices when..."
Canyon set Shelby down and turned to me, grabbing my shoulders and squaring me up with him.
"We don't need to rehash this. I love you more than anything, and we have our entire lives together to make up for a few lousy months."
"They sure were lousy! You didn't have to be called Savannah! I like the name, but I sure don't want it."
Canyon and I looked at Shelby before we busted out laughing.
"What's so funny? For real, would you like being called something else?"
Canyon looked like he'd been backed into a corner while Shelby stood there glaring at him with her hands on her hips to prove her point.
"No, I don't think I would."
I wanted to laugh again at how ornery she was being but decided it would be better if I just distracted her.
"So, do you want to show Canyon around? There's a few horses outside I bet he'd love to meet."
"Yes!"
She grabbed his hand and began dragging him toward the back door with more excitement I had seen her show in what seemed like forever.
His eyes never left mine as he was being pulled away, and I knew—the future was ours as a family. Nothing could take that away from me again. I watched his mouth as he silently spoke, "I love you."
He was pulled out of sight before I could respond, but we had the rest of our lives for me to say those words. And I planned on saying them as often as possible.
While the two of them toured the barn, I began packing up our belongings. The officers stationed at the house explained to me that what was purchased by the government was ours to purchase, which meant we didn’t have to leave. I graciously declined. Montana was our home and we were ready to get back to it.
By the time Canyon and Shelby walked in to the house, three bags were waiting at the door.
"So this is really happening? You're coming back with me?"
"Nothing could make me happier."
He grabbed me by my thighs and picked me up, allowing my legs to wrap around his waist.
"Darlin’, I'm never letting you go again."
"I'm not going anywhere. Now you just have to put up with the both of us."
"Gladly."
He pressed his lips to mine but before I could actually kiss him Shelby wailed, "Eeww, can't you do that later or something?"
We both laughed. As I slid out of his grasp and back onto my own two feet, Canyon looked down at Shelby and asked, "You ready to get the hell out of here?"
"I only have one stimulation."
He looked at me for clarity. I was just as lost.
"Do you mean stipulation?"
"That's what I said."
I was about to correct her when Canyon cut me off. "You sure did, princess. What is this stipulation of yours?"
"We keep the horses."
The government happily obliged when I explaining the situation and with Canyon's business, shipping the horses to Montana was taken care of with a few phone calls. The security detail left after we thanked them profusely, but not before working out my financial situation. All of my money was back into accounts I had access to, and I was even garnished with a debit card, a check book, and I got my driver’s license back. Life was finally taking the turn I needed it to get us back on track.
The flight home seemed to take forever. The plane was packed full. Luckily we found a row left for the three of us. Shelby got the window seat, I was in the middle, and Canyon got stuck with the aisle seat, getting bumped by everyone that passed by. He didn't seem to mind, though. We were all so anxious to get back but for much different reasons. I learned that when Shelby asked, "Does Mom still live in our house? Will you take me there first?"
I wondered myself if she had stayed and for some reason Canyon hadn't brought her up when we talked about her giving me Shelby.
I wasn't sure what to say to her.
"Um, well...."
"She's not there, is she?"
Shelby made it obvious she had never considered that as an option. The proof was falling like rain from her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her, lifted the divider between us, and let her rest her head on my chest as she once again was forced to mourn the woman who never wanted us to begin with.
Eventually, she fell asleep. When I was certain she wasn't waking up I looked to Canyon, and
asked, "When did she leave?"
He intertwined his fingers with mine and squeezed before he explained.
"When I woke up and found your note I panicked. I drove straight to your house and found her sitting outside, smoking a cigarette. She…"
"My mom smoked? How did I never know that?"
There was so much I didn't know and never again would I get the chance to learn. She really was gone.
"Hey, darlin’, you're going to be okay."
"I know. It's the finality of it all. It really is only the three of us now."
He squeezed my hand again but stayed quiet letting me process it all.
"I guess it always has been this way but something in me hoped that she would wake up with John gone and be what she never was."
"You never know. You still have a lot of life to live. Maybe she will come back for you. It's hard to believe a parent could walk away without regrets."
I wanted to argue and say, "She never thought about us before, why would she now?" Instead I simply asked, "What did she say?"
"Huh?"
"When you got there, what did she say?"
"Well, she said you were gone and Shelby went with you."
"Did she even act like she cared?"
He didn't answer me. His eyes dropped to his lap and without words, I knew.
"Whatever. We're better off without her anyway."
I glanced down at Shelby and hoped I could be enough for her. That she would grow up without the void I felt.
"Ari?"
I looked over at Canyon, waiting for him say something.
"What's up?"
His eyes averted mine followed by a shake of his head.
"Never mind. I'm just glad everything is going to be better now that you two are home."
I squeezed his hand to force him to look at me.
"There are no more secrets to tear us apart. Everything will finally be the way it should have been all along."
When the plane landed, I woke Shelby only to find a smile already on her face.
"What has you so happy?"
"Are we here? Oh my gosh, it's really happening. I get to see Nyah and go back to school with my old friends."
"You sure do. I bet they'll be so happy to see you too."
Resting my hands on her shoulders as we waited for our turn to exit the plane, I felt positive. For the first time in my life I saw a happily ever after for all of us.
Canyon had left his truck at the airport so once we got on the road there was only a couple hours’ drive between us and home. We talked about the PBR and how much he would be traveling, and of course, I mentioned college. Him being gone wasn't going to be easy, but I wanted to get my education and be able to provide Shelby with a life she deserved. I had finally gained access to my money, and now I was forced to make it last. My inheritance would more than cover tuition but there wasn't enough to live on forever. He made it clear I needed to invest some of it and offered to help me if I ever needed anything.
"First things first, we need to get you a reliable car to get you back and forth. The last thing I need is to be thousands of miles away and worrying about you getting stranded somewhere, throwing rocks at another dude’s truck."
I openly laughed before I could say anything in response.
"You have no need to worry about that. I learned my lesson."
He grabbed my hand and squeezed before saying, "Glad to hear that."
I began Googling car dealerships in the area and started pricing out what I wanted.
Shelby watched over my shoulder, picking out every ugly car she could find for me. Eventually I settled on a white Ford F150. It was a V6 with Eco boost, making for good gas mileage and with all the driving I was going to be doing back and forth I needed that.
"Damn, darlin’, you're gonna have a nicer truck than me."
"You could always upgrade."
"Nah, I have memories in this bad boy I'm not ready to let go of yet."
He looked over at me with that smile, and I knew what he was getting at. We met with that truck, had our first kiss in that truck, and he was bringing us home with it.
"Yeah, keep this one for a while and we might make some more."
He was just about to say something when we pulled into the driveway, and I saw the house for the first time again. It was just as breathtaking as ever, only this time it was truly ours.
"Who's that?"
I heard Shelby and turned my focus to the end of the driveway where a red car was parked.
"Were you expecting anyone?"
Canyon didn't answer but the grip on the steering wheel made reason for my concern relevant. I reached over to take his hand from the wheel, and I could feel it shaking.
"Ari, there's something I need to tell you. I didn't want you to find out like this. It was..."
I heard a door close which caught my attention. One glance back toward the car, and I knew exactly why Canyon didn't want me to find out. He knew if I had known before, I would have never agreed to come back with him.
Brooke Stanton was clearly pregnant and walking straight for the truck I was trapped in.
"Are you kidding me!"
Shelby was still in the back seat so I was forced to watch my mouth, which was the last thing I wanted to do.
"Ari..."
I was the one visibly shaking at this point.
"Shelby, let’s go."
I got out of the truck, slammed my door, and opened the back to let Shelby out. As soon as her feet hit the ground, I grabbed her arm and started pulling her toward the road.
"Where are we going? Arianna, talk to me. Who was that and why are we—"
"Stop talking."
"But…"
"Stop!"
We made it to the road before Canyon started screaming, "What are you doing here?"
"Like I don't have a right to be! You have the nerve to knock me up, disappear, and then bring her back here after everything she did to you!"
I didn't want to hear any more. He was the worst liar of them all.
"Does knock up mean pregnant? Is Canyon going to be a daddy?"
I kept walking, refusing to answer her. If I said it out loud it meant I had to accept it. All I kept thinking about was how selfish could he be. Shelby and I could have stayed in Alabama and...
His hand grabbed ahold of my right shoulder, breaking my thought as he spun me around. I was so caught up in my rage I never heard the crunch of the gravel under his feet as he must have raced to catch up to us.
"Just listen to me."
"Listen to you? I have been listening to you ever since you walked into that courthouse! You never even tried to tell me, so don't you dare pin this on me! Why? Why even bring us back here?"
"Because I love you, damn it!"
"Love isn't enough, Canyon. You purposely kept this from me so I would..."
"Of course I did! Would you have come here if I had told you? Would you have forgiven me for being a fucking idiot one night while I was missing you like crazy and—"
"Don't you dare make this my fault! You did this! You!"
"I know I did! Don't you think I know that? I can't change what happened, but I can't lose you again. It fucking ripped me apart inside!"
I saw something move behind him and instantly remembered Shelby.
"Oh my God, Shelby!"
I pushed past him and walked over to her, but she held up her hands and began to walk backward.
"I'm going to go back to the house. You two work this out. I don't want to leave again, Arianna. This is our home."
"Shelby, that's not going to..."
She turned her back to me and walked away, not caring to hear what I had to say.
Angrier than I think I have ever been in my life I spun back around. "You don't get to make this about me. I get that I hurt you, I know you hated me for leaving, but nothing can excuse you from running to her!"
I looked around but came up empty.
"Speaking of Brooke, where i
s she? Did you just leave her at your house? What the hell is wrong with you, Canyon? The man I fell in love with had a heart of gold and would never be so cruel. Whatever happened between the two of you, she's having your baby. You don't belong here with me."
"You don't understand. She knows. It was never her. It was always you..."
"No! Clearly it wasn't always me."
I walked away from him, leaving him in the road while I headed back to the house for Shelby. I had no one to call and no way of getting us out of there.
"Shit!"
When I got to the top of the driveway I could see Brooke standing there waiting for Canyon to come back.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but he's still standing where I left him."
I know it was snide, but the bitch knew he was mine. I breezed past her toward the house when I heard, "It wasn't his fault, you know."
Oh, that did it. I turned so fast it blurred my vision.
"What the hell do you mean it wasn't his fault? Did he or did he not have sex with you? You know what, just don't. I have had enough shit thrown at me to last decades. You two have a happy life together. I will be out of here as soon as I can figure out how."
I walked back to the truck and grabbed my phone. There had to be someone I could call. Anyone to help us, and then I remembered the truck. As quick as I could I pulled the dealership up again and dialed their number.
"Tristar Auto. Would you like service or sales?"
"Sales."
"Hold while I transfer you please."
"Hello, this is Scott. How can I help you today?"
"I will pay you sticker price, no bartering, if you deliver it to this address."
"Ma’am, what vehicle are you looking to buy?"
"The white F150 you have on your lot."
"You know that is a forty-three-thousand-dollar truck? We have incentives right now that could knock you down to thirty-seven if you come in and let us..."
"I don't care about the money at this point. Can you bring me the truck?"
"I would need you to do the paperwork to see if you even qualify. How old are you anyway, if you don't mind me asking?"
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