"That is none of your business. I will write you a check for the entire balance if you get here in the next forty-five minutes."
"This is ridiculous. You can't expect me..."
"If you want to sell that truck you will make it happen."
I read him off the address to Canyon's house and then hung up and prayed the man didn't think it was a prank call. It was my only hope.
"So you're really just going to leave me again?"
I heard his voice behind me but couldn't find the will to face him. After all of my prayers to bring him back to me I never for a second thought God would be so cruel as to answer them with conditions.
"This isn't my life, Canyon. It's yours and Brooke's now."
"Stop saying that! You can't just give up on me like this!"
That’s what broke me. With tears falling down my face, I turned toward him.
"You are the one that gave up on me when you chose to sleep with her."
"You keep saying that, but I never gave up on you! I cried myself to sleep for three damn months hoping you would come back to me but you never did. I drowned myself in work and Brooke came over one night to check on me. It wasn't something I planned. It just happened..."
"Stop, stop, stop! I don't want to hear this. It doesn't matter how it happened, Canyon. The point is that it did. She's who you need to be there for, not me."
Speaking of Brooke, I looked around again, wondering how she could hear what he was telling me and just stand back and not say anything. I would have slapped the hell out of him. She was nowhere to be found. The only place left for her to be was inside with Shelby, and there was no way I was going to let that happen. I pushed off the truck and started walking toward the house when I heard him punch the door as hard as he could.
I looked back at him shaking out his right hand and saw the huge dent he had caused.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not okay! Nothing is okay right now! This isn't how I wanted my life to be. You are the one who should be carrying my baby. You are the one I want to meet at the alter and you are the one I want to grow old with. You! How am I supposed to be okay?"
He wiped away the tears as they fell from his eyes, and all I wanted to do was hold him and tell him everything would be all right. But it was another lie to be told, and I was done with them.
Chapter 2
I walked inside the house stewing on the guilt he handed me. How was this my fault? He could have been honest with me from the start. Shelby and I had a place in Alabama where we could have made a life for ourselves. She was already enrolled in school for God’s sake. He took all of that away when he showed up pretending that our perfect world was waiting for us in Montana.
"Shelby!"
She wasn't on the back porch or in the kitchen as I walked through the house that had once held only great memories. In the family room, the only person I found was Brooke laying on the couch.
"She's upstairs."
I didn't bother to thank her. Instead, I climbed each stair vigorously, ready to grab Shelby and leave. When I entered the room Canyon once promised her, I found her peering out the window of the turret, knowing it faced the driveway where I had just left Canyon.
"Why did you do that?"
I didn't know how to answer her. She was so young and didn't understand all of the ramifications coming from his choices.
"What did I do?"
I sat down on the bed refusing to look out the window at him.
"You keep hurting him over and over again. Didn't you both suffer enough before? You aren't happy when he's not in your life. Why do you keep pushing him away?"
"I'm not pushing him away. He's got a life that doesn't include us coming and we need to step back and let that—"
"Who says?"
"Who says what?"
"That it doesn't include us? So they have a baby. Why does that mean we have to leave? This is our home."
"Apparently this is Brooke's home, not ours."
That got her attention.
"She lives here?"
"That's how I took it when I passed her sprawled out on the couch downstairs."
"That's it!"
Shelby stormed past me, completely ignoring my plea for her to stay with me. I heard her feet flutter down the stairs right before she asked, "Do you live here?"
I slowly crept to the top of the stairwell, trying to not be heard as I listened to Brooke answer.
"No, I don't. I'm still trying to finish school. I'm just here to visit."
"Did you make a baby with Canyon to hurt my sister?"
"Oh, my God! Shelby!"
I took off down the steps not even considering the fact I could fall and make a complete ass of myself. All I cared about in that moment was shutting my little sister up.
I looked at Brooke and snapped, "Don't answer that," before I turned to my sister.
"Shelby, you don't ask people questions like that, do you understand me? It's not your place or your business."
"She's fine," Brooke answered me with even more attitude than I gave before she addressed Shelby. "Honey, I didn't do this to hurt anyone. If anything I was trying to comfort someone who was hurting very badly."
"Hmmm, I bet you were."
I thought I said it under my breath, but when Brooke sat straight up on the couch to look me in the face, I knew clearly I was in for it.
"Shelby, would you mind checking on Canyon for me? Arianna and I need to have a little chat."
I wanted to talk to her about as much as I wanted to go eat manure from the barn, but when Shelby walked out of the room I had no choice.
"Have a seat."
"I'm fine where I'm at, thank you."
I folded my arms across my chest and took a deep breath trying to not lunge across the room and strangle a pregnant woman.
"You can stand there all you want, pouting that your precious Canyon isn't what you thought he would be. That life isn't fair. Well, let me tell you something. You can kiss my ass. I have been in love with him since I was fourteen. And, before you think you are going to open your mouth, don't. I have been through hell and back with that man. I have seen him deal with things no one should have to endure. I watched him grieve the loss of his mother, go through trial against his own father, but none of that even comes close to seeing what happened to him when you left without even a damn goodbye! So you want to blame him? Me? Go ahead. We both fell into something when emotions were at their highest. but don't think for a second it was about love. It was never that. Through the whole night it was mourning what was lost to us. For me it was facing the fact it would never be me that he needed, and for him it was all about you. You! Can you even for two seconds put your own selfish feelings aside and see there are other people in this world hurting, and it's not always about you? I am going to have to raise a child explaining that their father doesn't even love their mother! You want to take that one on? Raising a needy baby alone? I bet not. So get over yourself and go out there and take care of the man you broke!"
My mouth opened but nothing came out. Not "this is none of your business" or even "why are you even here?"
I decided she and I would never see eye to eye on this. We were on complete different sides of the spectrum. That didn't keep me quiet for long, though.
"I get what you're saying. What I don't get is your attitude. All of this was just thrown in my face. You, though, you still feel sorry for yourself. Pity parties aren't meant to last, and if anything, you are the one who chose to open your legs to a man who clearly didn't want it to be you. Don't judge me. I left to protect him. You are the one hurting him now. And one last thing., you apparently came from decent parents so do me one favor, stop thinking of that baby as any kind of burden on you. There are enough shitty parents in the world. Don't be one of them."
I walked out of the room hoping it would be the last time I would have to ever have a conversation with Brooke Stanton.
Yes, I was being selfish. I never saw this com
ing and the thought of the two of them together made bile rise in my throat. I needed to get away from all of it and wrap my head around what Shelby and I were going to do. I knew I could contact the government and possibly buy the ranch back, but I remembered Shelby's face when she realized she would be with her friends and have the life she truly wanted in Montana. My life was more screwed up than it ever felt before. Canyon was my constant through all the chaos. The one thing I focused on getting back to. The only man I wanted my forever to be with.
I walked out of the back door and straight for the barn I didn't recognize. It was strange seeing the magnificent structure which was so different from the one that stood in the same spot before. As much as I could have stopped and admired what he had made, I couldn't face him yet and needed to get away from it all. I felt like he broke my heart into a million pieces, but instead of tears, rage took its place.
I was greeted by several full-size dogs dancing at my feet once I hit the dirt path that led to the barn. The last time I saw them they were tiny fluff balls. More proof that time didn't stand still without me. I bent down and pet each one, rubbing them behind their ears, wishing I hadn't missed so much.
My thoughts were interrupted by a sound I hadn't heard in almost a year. My head snapped up and my feet were moving before I even told them where to go. I couldn't wait to see him, touch him. Magnus was the one thing I knew in that moment that would make me smile, and as I walked through the open door of the barn I saw him. With his beautiful head pressed up against the iron bars, I knew immediately he recognized me. His neigh was the sweetest sound to my ears. I passed several horses I didn't recognize, but I honestly didn't care to stop until I was opening the latch and entering Magnus's stall. He lowered his head as I approached him and then pressed himself into my chest, nudging me backward. Both of my hands came around his neck as I hugged him with all my might. He jerked back from me seconds later, raising his head high. I wasn't sure why until I saw his ears twitch, and I knew he heard something coming. I begged for it to be Shelby. I should have prayed instead.
When I turned around, I saw Canyon walking toward us with his head down in shame before I heard, "So this is it, huh?"
I said nothing.
His hand hit the latch, and he was inside the stall with me whether I wanted him to be or not.
"Look at me."
"No."
"Damn it, Ari! Look at me!"
I spun around and faced him with a look of disdain.
"You are all that I've thought of since the day you left me. You—"
"Don't! You have a baby coming, Canyon. I—"
"You what? Have to leave me? Why? Why do I have to lose you all over again? Why can't you stay and we can do this—"
"Because I'm eighteen! Because I'm already raising a child right now, and I didn't sign up for a baby too! What you're asking of me isn't fair. I wanted you! I wanted us! I never, in my wildest dreams, asked for Brooke Stanton to be a part of all of it too!"
"If you walk away from me now when I need you most, you never loved me like you claim. We've been through hell and back. How can you just say goodbye? I never could with you. I don’t think it's possible. Even when all I wanted to do was hate you, with every breath I took, there was still pain from not having you here. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I'm sorry if you feel like I misled you—"
"I didn't feel anything Canyon! You did mislead me! You purposely brought us here knowing what we were walking into—"
He crossed the space between us faster than my brain could register his movement. One second I was screaming at him and the next he was crashing his lips against mine, pushing me back until my body was flush with the barn wall. It had been so long since I felt the fever in my body go ablaze from the touch of a man and the way his hands roamed my curves was more than just lust. It was memories flooding back of the times when it was just us against the world. When we thought that it would always be just us. Brooke flashed in my head and immediately I pulled away from him, panting from the need my body was fighting to settle.
"We can't do this."
His hands grabbed either side of my face.
"I'm not going to let you go this time. I will follow you to the ends of the Earth if it means I can still see you with my own eyes. I refuse to live in my head with the memory of you, Ari. When I tell you I love you it's not just words..."
I couldn't control my eyes from letting a flood of tears escape.
"You are my Goddamn everything. You are what makes me who I want to be, and I will never go back to what I was without you. What you're doing right now isn't fair."
I wiped the tears from my face, trying like hell to force out the words.
"You're making this my fault? Maybe part of it is. I left. Had I not, you wouldn't have needed her..."
"I never needed her. I need you!"
"None of this matters. We both made mistakes. What you can't do is bully me into accepting something that will change my life forever. A baby is coming, Canyon! A baby that will need his or her father and mother. Do you even know what sex it's going to be?"
"She finds out in two weeks."
"So you want me to hang around here like nothing has changed? Am I supposed to just pretend that both of you are not going to have this epic experience together that I have no part in? This was supposed to be us, Canyon! Us!"
"I know! You can't tell me something like it's new to me when it's all I have thought about for the last three months! The only thing I know in all of this is that it's not the baby's fault, and I refuse to regret it."
That hit me like a ton of bricks in the heart.
"I need to get out of here. I can't be around you right now."
"Why? Because I said that? What would you rather me tell you? That I would walk away from this baby for you? When I say I would do anything for you this is the one exception. I need you to be here for me, because I cannot do this alone. This is the one time I will ever ask you to do something you don't want to do, but I am begging you—don't leave me right now."
I looked deep into his eyes, searching for words that would make him understand. He wasn't seeing any of this from my point of view. He slept with her. How could I look at the two of them together and not see it all over again in my head?
The crunch of gravel was heard by both of us and the need to say something died with it. My truck was there, and it was time for Shelby and I to leave all of this behind. Whether it was the right or wrong thing to do was uncertain.
Chapter 3
The tears flowed harder with every step I took away from the man I loved. My heart physically hurt with the idea we were done before we ever truly had the chance to have a fresh start, but it wasn't my life that was changing this time, it was his.
I feverishly wiped my face, trying to come across as professional when I approached the salesman, but the look on his face showed my efforts were failing.
"So… I brought the truck. I can definitely say this is hands down the most unorthodox sale I have ever made."
"I promised you payment so let me go get my check book..."
"It doesn't work like that. You have to come to the dealership and sign all of the papers."
I looked back at the house and saw Shelby peering at me from what had become her bedroom window so long ago. Her hands were flat on the glass, and as much as I couldn't make out her expression, I knew I was hurting her too. I was completely lost. There was no way out of this without destruction.
Turning back to the salesman, I asked, "Can you give me a minute, please?"
He didn't look happy in the slightest, but he was the last person in this situation I cared about pleasing as I walked away from him toward the front door. I had never actually passed through it before. Canyon once told me only strangers come through the front. In that moment I felt like I didn't know him at all so it was almost fitting that I entered that way.
Walking through it, the stairway was directly to my right. I paid no mind to the fact Br
ooke was no longer on the couch. If she wanted to be Canyon's saving grace in the situation, I felt… more power to her.
Reaching the top floor, I walked slowly into the room that held a whimpering Shelby. I pushed the door open and crossed the space, placing my hands on her shoulders, as she continued to gaze out the window.
"I'm sorry, honey. I had no idea all of this would happen, or I never would have agreed to come here to begin with."
"But this is where we are the happiest."
Flashes of my past came rushing back. There were so many painful memories mixed in with the good that I wasn't sure I agreed with her.
"What are you asking me to do? You want me to forgive him for lying to me? To accept this baby as if I don't still have my own life ahead of me? I'm only eighteen, Shelby. I want to go to college. To experience what's it's like to not have all of that responsibility."
She turned to face me and before she even muttered a word, I knew I should have chosen a better way to explain myself.
"You regret having me to take care of?"
"Never."
"That's what you just said."
"No, what I said was I don't want to take on a baby right now. Especially one that isn't mine. You are mine, Shelby. Mine. I wouldn't give up a single second with you, and never have I, nor will I, regret you."
"What are we going to do now?"
"Well, right now we have to go to the car dealership so I can get the truck."
"And then what?"
"We will figure that out then."
I hugged her tight, reassuring her that we would be okay before I grabbed her hand and led her back out the front door toward the very aggravated salesman, still waiting next to what was soon to be my truck.
"Are you finally ready?"
"Yes, but you can drop the attitude, or when we get there I will give the commission to someone else. I'm not in the mood, or can't you see that?"
Shelby looked up at me like I was wearing two heads and the salesman was just as shocked. Before he could mutter a comeback, I snapped, "Let's just get this over with."
Let it be Us Page 2
