Money-Makin' Mamas 2

by Silk Smooth

  Mama moved my head off her shoulder. “Shania won’t be no trouble, but I don’t know about you. With all the money that you have, why can’t you go find your own place? I’m getting sick of you and your sisters. All y’all do is come here and call every day, talking about y’all problems. Do y’all know what it’s like to live a drama-free life? Damn!”

  “I’m tryin’ to live one right now, and the only reason I don’t feel as though I should go get my own place right now is because look at all the money I can save for Shania, living here with you. You got this big ole six bedroom house, over here living like a movie star and getting paid while chilling back. Plus, I know how much you like to have Shania here—”

  “Karrine, stop right there and get out of my face. I’ll let you know what’s up in a few hours, but for now, it’s not looking good for you.”

  Mama walked away, but I already suspected that she wanted me to stay. This was just how her life was supposed to be, and she knew it. She never got back to me about staying with her, but almost three weeks later, I was still there. Chilling by the poolside and listening to music on my headsets. I was flipping through a magazine when I looked up and saw Honey heading my way. He rocked a white wife-beater and some cargo shorts. A bandana was tied around his locs, and my heart raced as our eyes stayed locked together. He came up and stood in front of me.

  “Come home,” he said. “Please. I miss you, ma, and the reason why you should be there is because I love you, and you have my word that I will cease all the dumb shit and do right by you. I will never put my hands on you again, and I’ll make our home the most peaceful place ever. All I need is for you to trust me on this, please. Trust me.”

  My heart was pounding fast. I blinked away the tears that were trying to escape from my eyes. They grew wide when I saw Honey reach into his pocket and pull out a small black box. He opened it and flashed a diamond ring.

  “You know I wouldn’t do this shit unless I was serious,” he said. “I’m dead serious, so let’s do this shit and stop wasting time listening to muthafuckas who want to dictate our lives and tell us what to do. You know how I feel about you, and vice versa. We’re wasting time being apart, and my life just don’t feel right without you.”

  I struggled with this shit. And as much as I talked about Rihanna, I now knew how she’d felt about Chris Brown. Some shit just felt destined, and I found it so hard to let Honey go for good. He dropped down to one knee and I inched closer to him. I reached for the box, gazed at the ring, then closed the box. A tear rolled down my face as I moved my head from side to side and reached out to touch his handsome face.

  “As . . . as much as I want to, I can’t. You hurt me too bad, Honey, and I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I know exactly how you feel when you say our relationship feels destined, but we’re just not good for each other. You very well may make some changes, but I know you, Honey. I know what makes you tick, I know how you like power and control, and there are plenty of bitches out there who will allow you to have that and then some. I . . . I just can’t do it, baby, so we need to pack up our feelings for each other and move the fuck on.”

  Honey looked down at the ground then he shifted his eyes back to me. “Is that what you really want? If there are no doubts whatsoever in yo’ head, then I’ll check out of here and deal with your decision. But if you have an inkling of a doubt, I want you to be real with yourself and come back home with me. So, what’s the verdict? Because when I walk, I’m walking for good.”

  I did have doubts, but I was sticking to what I’d said. Still, I inched forward and gave Honey a long, wet, and juicy kiss. The feel of his hands around my waist made me want him so badly, but I backed away.

  “Good-bye, Honey. Go do you, and Shania and me will see you whenever you come to visit.”

  Honey wiped his lips, swallowed hard and nodded his head. He stood up, and before he walked away, I eased the black box back into his pocket. He stared at me for a few more seconds, then walked away. I rested back on the lounging chair and released a deep sigh as he faded out of my sight. I wasn’t sure if I had done the right thing or not, but something inside of me felt real good. I was pleased to show Mama that she hadn’t raised a complete damn fool, and it was good to know that Honey and I wouldn’t repeat the cycle that Mama and Ray had set before us. For now, it was good-bye and certainly good riddance to the only nigga I ever really loved.

  * * *

  I realized that in life, sometimes, you have to fall and bump your head hard, before you begin to see certain things for what they really are. You also have to step back from a situation, just to get a clear picture of it. That was what I did pertaining to the situation between Honey and me. I stepped back and let the shit do what it was going to do. I attempted to set Honey free, and even though turning down his proposal hurt me like hell, I had to turn it down, because Honey was in no position to marry anyone. He was still fucked up in the head, and he wanted control over everything, including me. His business dealings with Mama were his priority, and he made it clear that Shania and I would always come second. To me, we weren’t even second.

  Needless to say, that didn’t work for me. I needed much more than a nigga who put making paper before me, and I needed more than a dick-happy fool who thought it was okay to run from one bitch to the next. I had put up with that mess for long enough. Now it was my time to shine. It was time to do me and let Honey do him. Allowing him to do him meant that I had to keep my mouth shut whenever he brought other bitches around. I had to silence myself when he spoke to them over the phone, and when Mama contacted him to do “special” duties for her, I couldn’t say shit. Not to her, or to him. Basically, I pretended as if everything was all good, when in reality it wasn’t.

  The reason why it wasn’t, was because I still loved Honey. He was Shania’s father, and I wanted him to get his shit together. I wanted good things to fall into his lap, but with all of the crooked shit he had been doing, I expected setbacks for him that would cost him dearly.

  All that shoot-’em-up shit needed to cease. Honey had gotten ruthless, and there was a time when he wouldn’t get down like that. He would let other niggas do the dirty work, but since Mama had been shot Honey had been on a roll. I was worried about him. He seemed to be moving in a different direction, and it made me crazy.

  Today was Shania’s birthday. I was in the kitchen at Honey’s crib cooking breakfast. The only reason I was there was because the party was scheduled to be at his place. Mama came with me, and we had gotten in from California late last night.

  Mama and me had been getting along well. I stayed out of her way, and she stayed out of mine. I never got into her business deals with Honey, and even though I disagreed with what had been going on, I figured that my gripes would go in one ear and out the other. Neither of them were about to stop anything because of me. It was all about grown folks making grown folks’ decisions, and the only business I had was pertaining to Shania. I wanted her birthday party to be real special. Honey and I, both, had spent a fortune, just to see our baby girl’s face light up. She was so excited and it was because of her that I was already awake at six in the morning.

  “I know you’re excited, little girl, but couldn’t you let me sleep a little longer this mornin’?” I spoke to Shania while holding her on my hip, trying to cook at the same time.

  “What did I tell you about cooking with that girl in your arms,” Mama said as she came up from behind me and removed Shania from my grip. “That’s dangerous, Karrine, and she can get burned from being so close to that stove.”

  “I’m not goin’ to burn her, so be quiet. The grits and eggs are on the back burners, and she can’t reach them.”

  “Excuses, excuses,” Mama said, walking away to go sit at the kitchen table. “One day you’ll learn.”

  She had the nerve to get on me about cooking with Shania in my arms, but she sat at the table and lit a cigarette with Shania on her lap.

  “You need to give Shania back to
me right now, because smokin’ around her is not a good thing. I know that, and you do too.”

  Mama blew smoke into the air, away from Shania. “I only needed a few puffs. My nerves are bad and you already know how I feel about coming back to Chicago. The only reason I’m here is because of this birthday party, but I’m out of here on Monday. What about you?”

  “I’m out of here, too. There ain’t no reason for me to stay, especially not in this house with Honey. I can barely stand to be around him, but today will be an exception.”

  “You need to stop lying to yourself about that nigga, Karrine. You know you still love his dirty drawers, and if he got his shit together you would invite him right back into the pussy.”

  “Keepin’ it real, maybe so. But that’s the problem. He will never get his act together, so there ain’t no need for me to keep hopin’ and dreamin’ that he will.”

  Mama smashed her cigarette in the ashtray and started to bounce Shania on her lap. Shania was cracking up, and she kept hugging Mama and pulling on her long braids.

  “Girl, let my hair go,” Mama said. “I can already tell that you’re going to be snatching bitches up by their hair and yanking their asses around like ragdolls. You’s a gangsta baby, and granny sho-nuff loves her little gangsta boo, too.”

  I quickly scrambled the eggs, feeling very annoyed by what Mama had said. “Don’t say that to her, Mama. She ain’t no gangsta baby, and I’m not goin’ to teach her to get down like we do. Or should I say did, because that ain’t happenin’ anymore.”

  “Since when?” Mama challenged. “Didn’t you just shoot up a nigga several months ago, outside of a club? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but Shania’s Mama and Daddy ain’t representing a pastor or the first lady at a church, are y’all?”

  “No, and I’m glad we’re not, because they have way more shit goin’ on than we do. And no matter what we’re representin’, I don’t want Shania to go down the same path as I did.”

  “What was so wrong with your path? I hate for a spoon-fed bitch who had any and everything she always wanted to complain about shit later on in life. At the end of the day, you and your sisters had it made. You heifers didn’t want for nothing, so don’t stand there being so ungrateful. Just so I don’t have to let my gangsta baby see me put my foot in yo’ ass, we’re going upstairs. Holla when the food is done, and whatever you do, don’t burn my bacon.”

  I rolled my eyes at Mama as she left the kitchen with Shania. She didn’t understand how I wanted things with Shania to be different. It wasn’t that I was saying that she was a bad mother. I just didn’t want Shania being introduced to the things that I, Chyna, and Simone had been introduced to. It was as simple as that.

  Breakfast was ready, but unfortunately, I was the only one at the kitchen table eating. Honey had been gone all night, and he wasn’t even home when we got in from California. Mama said that she had spoken to him, but all he said to her was that he would be here to get things ready for the party. It was only seven thirty now, so I suspected he would get here before the party started at three.

  With my jean shorts and pink wife beater on, I cut into my pancakes and chewed. I could see my beautiful reflection on the sparkling glass table. I wanted to look nice for Shania’s party, so I had my beautician hook up my short layered hair that swooped across my forehead and revealed my makeup free face. My natural beauty was on display, and I was pleased that my daily workout regimen had brought about great results. My body was on point again, and it didn’t even look like I’d had a baby. As soon as I heard the front door open, I held my breath and sat up straight in the chair. I figured it was Honey, so I turned my head to look at the TV that was mounted on the wall. I pretended as if I was indulged, and I didn’t turn my head until I heard his voice.

  “Do you want something to eat?” he asked the light-bright bitch, Audrey, who entered the kitchen with him. Her natural hair sat wildly on her head, and she had a slender, model-like frame with minimal curves. This wasn’t the first time I had seen her with Honey, and deep down I knew he kept bringing her around to irritate me. But today was not the day to fuck with me. It was Shania’s birthday, not time for him to flaunt his bitches around just to make me jealous.

  I cleared my throat and did my best not to show that I was frustrated. “Excuse me, but I didn’t make enough food for you and your guest. I made that food for me, Mama, and Shania. They should be comin’ downstairs soon to eat.”

  “Oh, that’s fine,” Audrey said with a forced smile. “I wasn’t hungry anyway.”

  The bitch looked like she needed something to eat, but it damn sure wouldn’t be my food. Honey knew not to play with me, and with Audrey being here, I figured this nigga would do his best to try my patience.

  “Are you sure?” he said to her. “I mean, if you’re hungry, I can always cook you something.”

  I almost choked. Nigga please. His ass couldn’t cook a hotdog, let alone breakfast. I turned my head again and focused on the TV.

  “I’m good, Honey,” Audrey said in a proper tone. “All I need is the bathroom so I can go tinkle, and maybe some orange juice or something when I return. Do you think you can handle that for me?”

  “Not a problem,” Honey said. “And you already know where the bathroom is.”

  From the corner of my eye, I could see Honey’s black Barbie walk away. He came up to me with his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. His locs were covered with a bandana, and a leather black jacket was over the gray V-neck shirt he wore that tightened on his muscular chest. With a diamond earring in his ear, and dimples coming through with his smile, Honey put the word sexy to shame.

  “Why you got an attitude?” he said, picking up my fork. He attempted to put my pancake in his mouth, but I snatched the fork from his hand.

  “I don’t have an attitude, and please do not put my food or fork in your mouth. Ain’t no tellin’ where it’s been.”

  “I can’t tell you where it’s been, but I can tell you where I would like for it to be.”

  “Not interested. But if you want to tell me somethin’, tell me this. Why would you bring your tramp here on Shania’s birthday? I hope Audrey ain’t gon’ be here all day, is she?”

  “As a matter of fact, she is. I invited her and her nephew to come because Audrey likes Shania and Shania likes her. She also bought a nice present for Shania, and Audrey would like to give it to her. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

  I did, but he wouldn’t know it. “I don’t have a problem with that, Honey, so do you. Have hella fun today, and please keep in mind that today is about Shania, not about me and you.”

  I got up from the table to walk away. Honey reached out and grabbed a healthy chunk of my ass, squeezing it. I swung around and pointed my finger near his face. “Don’t play with me, nigga. I’m not your toy, and those days are long gone. My wish is that you start to recognize that and stop playin’ these childish games that, in the long run, will only hurt you.”

  The smirk on Honey’s face was enough to make my damn blood boil. I hated that he could see right through me. I was determined to make him think that I didn’t care about him anymore. He walked up and stood inches in front of me, leaving little breathing room between us.

  “Like always,” he said in a whisper. “It’s good seeing you, Karrine, and I’m glad you’re back home where you belong. All you ever have to do is say the word and this shit will be back on and popping with us again. You got the power, ma. Use it to your advantage and stop wasting all this unnecessary time.”

  Honey leaned in to kiss me, but I quickly turned my head. That was when Audrey came into the kitchen with her arms folded.

  “Really?” she said, looking at Honey. She didn’t dare confront me, and all I did was walk away from them. “Did you just try to kiss her?”

  “If I did,” Honey said nonchalantly. “So what? Don’t confront me over no bullshit in my own crib. If you got a problem with what you just saw, remember, you do have options.�
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  I shook my head on the way upstairs. Better her than me, I thought. I was glad it was her dealing with his shit, instead of me.

  Several hours later, Shania’s birthday party had gotten started. The backyard was packed with kids running around, trying to get on the carousel, ride the pony, jump in the balls, get their faces painted, watch the clown, or eat hotdogs and hamburgers that Honey had cooking on the grill.

  For the first hour, Shania was having a blast playing with the other kids. But after the face painter painted her face, that was it for Shania. She got sleepy and was very irritable. She was afraid of the clown, and after crying so much, she winded up falling asleep in Honey’s arms. He carried her upstairs to her bedroom, and returned moments later without her.

  “I have Mama to thank for all that noise right there,” Honey said, looking at Mama as she sat at the picnic table, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer. She seemed to be in a bad mood, and was going off on everybody who said something to her.

  “No, you have yourself and Karrine to thank for gangsta baby. I’m the only one who knows how to get control over her, and the two of y’all let her do whatever.”

  Honey couldn’t say shit, because he truly had Shania spoiled rotten. Mama did too, but I wasn’t about to call her out on anything right now. She kept wincing at Chyna’s man, Desmon, and Honey’s bitch, Audrey, wasn’t getting much play either. She was running around in the backyard with her nephew that Honey invited. That kept her away from Honey for a while, but every now and then she would look at us to see what we were up to. That would be nothing, because Shania had kept me so busy today that I didn’t have time to trip off Honey. He had been barbecuing for past hour or so, and while the kids ate hotdogs and hamburgers, the adults had saucy ribs and chicken. I had to give it up to him—the food was pretty good.

  Chyna and Desmon were standing near the carousel watching his niece. They looked good together, but I could tell by the look in Mama’s eyes that she wasn’t pleased. Simone was inside talking to someone on her cell phone, and when she came outside she walked up to Honey with a paper plate in her hand.