Midnight My Love

by Anne Marie Novark

  He was suddenly impatient to get this meeting over with. He was looking forward to dinner tonight so he could surprise Jenny with his proficiency using the jeweled knife. He wanted to see her gray eyes gazing at him with the tenderness that had become so dear to him.

  Robert stared blindly at his reflection in the beveled glass. My God! He was in love with Jenny Sedgewicke. No wonder he'd felt like crushing her to him whenever she was near. He'd thought his lustful feelings the result of being without a woman for so long. He'd been mistaken. It was Jenny. Kind and practical Jenny that he'd fallen in love with.

  She wasn't beautiful in the classical sense, but she was lovely for all that. Small and shapely and shy, he thought with a smile. And he wanted to possess her, body and soul, forever and ever. He shouldn't be surprised.

  Hadn't she given him gentle support and encouragement throughout his convalescence? He knew it was her idea for him to use the unique dagger. It was just one more example of her thoughtfulness and perhaps love, he hoped, that she felt for him. After all, Jenny was the reason he'd decided he wanted to live.

  Robert was determined to break his engagement with Lady Felicia immediately, so he'd be free to tell Jenny just how much he loved her. She'd kept to her room since he made her cry in the garden two days ago. She couldn't stay there tonight, not when there were guests in the house.

  Ellis stepped back and Robert creased the neckcloth into intricate folds by slowly bending his chin to his chest. The valet held his breath for this auspicious moment. After several creases, master and servant were satisfied with the results.

  Robert smiled at his henchman. "Not bad, for a one armed man, eh, Ellis?"

  "Your lordship is making excellent progress, if I may be so bold. And between us, m'lord, we'll always turn you out rigged to the nines." He held the coat of blue superfine for Robert to slip on. Ellis buttoned the jacket and tucked the empty sleeve into his master's waistband. He brushed invisible specks of dust from the shoulder pads and admired his handiwork.

  When he was satisfied, he nodded and held the door open. "You're ready, m'lord."

  "Wish me luck," Robert said. He squared his shoulders and proceeded to the gallery.

  He found Lady Felicia gazing at the portraits of his numerous ancestors. He watched her for a moment before making his presence known. She wore a round dress of light green cambric, with a high waist and short capped sleeves.

  Robert recalled when he'd first seen her. He was home on leave for his grandmother's funeral in Tunbridge Wells last December. He met Felicia at a cousin's home and it was love at first sight, or so it had seemed. He gave her a ring, but the engagement wasn't advertised because of his recent bereavement.

  She was just as he remembered: blonde and delicate, perfect in every way. Only now, he realized she wasn't perfect for him. He wanted a small little lady with plain brown hair and large gray eyes.

  Felicia turned when she heard his footsteps on the tiled floor. She gasped and held a handkerchief to trembling lips. Robert thought she might faint.

  "It's not as bad as that, my dear. I'm still the same man I was before I lost my arm," he said, trying for a lightness he was far from feeling.

  He smiled at the tall girl standing before him. She would certainly not be heartbroken when he cried off. Robert took her hand in his. He ignored the slight shiver he felt go through her slender body. He saw her looking at him with what could only be described as revulsion. It would be a relief for both of them when the engagement was ended. She was obviously uncomfortable and revolted by his disability.

  Robert let go of her hand. "I've come to release you from our engagement. I won't hold you to it. You shall not have to go through life tied to a one-armed man."

  Felicia glanced at him through long golden lashes. "Gentlemen do not cry off from engagements, my lord."

  "These are unusual circumstances, are they not?"

  "Yes, but you can't cry off," she said.

  Robert stared at her. "Then you cry off, my dear. Say we find we aren't compatible."

  She stepped back. It seemed she couldn't tolerate their close proximity. "I certainly can't cry off," she said. "What would people think? Everyone would say I'm heartless and have cast you off because of your disability." She looked everywhere but at him.

  "You don't love me," he said. "It's not as if the engagement was puffed up in the papers. Only the family will know anything about it."

  "No, I don't love you," she agreed. "I suppose I fell in love with your regimentals. But I can't cry off now. It's true our engagement wasn't formally announced, yet somehow everyone knows we're betrothed. If we call it off, it will cause a scandal and Father distinctly told me: No more scandals."

  "Are you in the habit of causing scandals, my dear?" he asked, wanting to smile despite her refusal to call off their engagement. He couldn't believe she would continue to insist they marry.

  Felicia's blue eyes blazed. "People are often unkind to me. They talked for weeks after the episode with the fortune hunter last year. I was never more taken in by anyone in my entire life. Papa tried to hush it all up. I don't know why everyone likes to gossip and spread rumors about me, and most of it is simply not true. I can't help it, if people are jealous because I'm rich and beautiful." She almost stamped her dainty foot in indignation. "But I can avoid this scandal. We shall have a modern marriage, my lord. I'll give you an heir, then we may go our separate ways."

  "This is ridiculous," Robert said, his lips taut. "We don't love or want each other."

  Lady Felicia shrugged and picked up her little pug standing at her feet. She hugged the dog tightly to her bosom as Robert eyed the small creature with disgust. She lifted her chin. "Well, I'm not going to cry off and in all honor, you can't cry off. So, we'll just have to make the best of things, now won't we?"

  CHAPTER TEN

  Later that afternoon, Alexandra walked through the homewoods toward the stream carrying a straw basket. She wanted to gather the last of the season's berries, so Cook could bake some of her special tarts for the guests. As she neared the stream, Alex saw Lord Thane knee-deep in the water, enthusiastically casting his fly-rod. She skirted around to avoid disturbing him and set off in the direction of the berry patch.

  The sun was hot and beat down on Alex as she picked the fat, juicy berries. She was glad she had worn an old gown; the berries stained her skirts as well as her fingers. She wiped back the tendrils of hair falling over her eyes and thought of the cool stream. She decided to go to her favorite spot near the waterfall.

  After picking enough berries, Alex straightened her chip-straw bonnet and toted her basket along. The falls were a mile downstream. When she arrived, she was hot and out of breath.

  Setting the basket on the ground, she looked longingly at the water. The stream cascaded down a rocky precipice from twenty feet above. She felt the spray of water as it crashed to meet the rivulet below.

  Alex stood on the bank. There was a spot behind the falls where she had played as a child; the perfect hide-away with a wall of rushing water on one side and a cool damp wall of rock on the other. Suddenly, she wanted to be in that special place, isolated from the world, away from the problems plaguing her.

  Untying the ribbons from beneath her chin, Alex laid her bonnet next to the basket. She removed her sturdy half-boots and peeled off her stockings. This far downstream, she didn't worry about anyone seeing her. Hitching up her faded skirts, she stepped on the smooth, slippery rocks. Carefully, she picked her way to the ledge behind the falls. The water was cold running across her bare feet. She felt wonderfully alive and free, concealed in her secret refuge.

  A large boulder provided a hard and somewhat damp seat. Alex leaned back, propping herself on her elbows and inhaled the fresh moist air. The mist washed the sweat from her face and neck. Her problems were drowned in the explosion of the surging water.

  Alex knew she was hiding from her difficulties, but didn't care. She'd put on a brave front ever since Robert had come home. Hi
s injury saddened her--not only because he was maimed for life, but it seemed to be threatening his future happiness with Lady Felicia.

  Her brother's disability had opened Alexandra's eyes, made her see people in a new light. Carlisle was uncomfortable in the extreme, whereas Rochdale proved to be a tower of strength. Rochdale was also one of her difficulties.

  She closed her eyes, trying to push the image of the dangerous viscount from her mind, as she surrendered herself to the exhilaration and healing powers of the rushing waters. Perhaps she could gather strength by indulging in the simple pleasures of this childhood sanctuary before having to return home and face her troubles again.

  ****

  On his way to join Lord Thane fishing, Damien spotted Alexandra heading downstream, carrying a basket. Her old gown revealed every curve of her lithesome body. On impulse, he decided to follow her.

  Damien fought the anger roiling inside, twisting his gut into a tight knot. Ever since he'd gone to Bath to fetch Alex for Robert, the red hot fury had consumed him. When he'd grasped her by the waist to throw her onto her horse, he had wanted to hold Alex in his arms and kiss her. He wanted to do more than kiss her, damn her.

  He had known from the beginning it would be difficult to be near her. He had foolishly thought he would be able to keep his attraction for her under control. He had believed he could exorcise the passion he felt for her. Many years had passed since their disastrous encounter in the observatory. Instead of the desire waning, it had only increased with each passing day.

  And what excuse could he offer for his atrocious behavior from the moment he'd set foot in Willowmede again? His nickname stood him in good stead considering his foolhardy actions.

  For reasons he didn't want to acknowledge, he had insinuated to Carlisle there was something going on between Alex and himself. When he'd kissed her wrists in order to infuriate the squire, the subtle scent of her perfume had instantly aroused him, making him so hard he ached with the yearning. The impulsive gesture had backfired and the anger inside grew stronger.

  Damien thought he might be excused for his rash behavior that day in front of Carlisle; the provocation had been great. But why in the world had he kissed Alexandra's wrist yet again when they'd been alone in the observatory?

  He should have known the observatory was dangerous ground. The long nights, the intimacy . . . Why had he offered to help with that damned thesis? Night after night he had trouble focusing on the work they were doing. All he could think about was holding Alex, kissing her, making love.

  Instead of cooling his infatuation, the forced intimacy left him wanting her more. And here he was, like a fool, following her. Thank God, he still had enough sense to keep his distance. He didn't wish to reveal his presence just yet, if at all.

  Alex stopped near the waterfall, and Damien stayed hidden behind a grove of chestnuts. He had often come to this place while visiting Willowmede. The powerful torrent of water plunging into the stream filled even his jaded senses with awe. The cave behind the falls was a wonder to behold.

  He grinned as Alexandra removed her boots and stockings, and hitched up her skirts. It was warm and she was obviously going to cool off by wading in the stream. His grin disappeared when he realized her destination. He held his breath as she crossed the treacherous rocks. When she was safely across and out of sight, Damien finally relaxed. He remained behind the trees for a full five minutes.

  Damn it! He knew what would happen if he followed her in there. He would gather Alexandra in his arms and kiss her until she begged for mercy. Would he be able to stop at one kiss? Yes, because one kiss was all he was going to allow himself. Kissing her would relieve the tension he'd felt for so long. Kissing her would answer the question that had been burning in his mind for years and years: Was that fateful kiss in the observatory as glorious as he remembered it to be?

  The slippery rocks were dangerous as Damien crossed the stream. Quietly, he entered the dark cave behind the falls. Alex sat peacefully on a large rock, eyes closed, hair damp, her beautiful feet bare to his gaze. The sound of the water crashed in his ears. Would his mouth on hers end the suspense? Could he break the spell this beautiful woman had woven around him?

  ****

  Alexandra's eyes flew open when she felt another presence in her sanctuary. Damien leaned against the rock wall, staring at her with such intensity she blushed.

  "Invigorating, isn't it?" he said. His hard voice shattered her reverie.

  Feeling defenseless without her shoes, Alex tucked her toes beneath her skirts. Her heart pounded in her throat. She'd been thinking of Damien, and now here he was in the flesh. The man who had taken hold of her thoughts and dreams stood before her. One look at his face, and she knew why he'd come.

  Alex realized how isolated they were, how the wall of water cut them off from the rest of the world. Suddenly she was afraid--afraid of the dangerous intimacy of the situation--but more afraid of herself than of him. She wanted to feel his arms around her. She longed for his kiss.

  Damien's spurs rang on the stone floor. With hard hands, he jerked her to her feet, holding her fully against his body. The smell of horses and leather filled Alexandra's senses. His topaz eyes devoured every inch of her.

  He spoke through gritted teeth. "Damn you, Alexandra Turlington. Why did you have to grow up to be so beautiful?" He crushed her mouth with his, bruising her, punishing her.

  Damien didn't know whether he hated or loved her. The thought made him try to push her away, but Alex clasped her arms around his neck and pulled him back.

  He stared at her a moment, then, laughing harshly, he kissed her forehead, her eyes, her nose. He felt her come up on tiptoe; she clung to him, pressing her lips to his. A bolt of white heat coursed through his body. God, she was sweet! So responsive. So delicious. He gathered her closer, kissed her deeply and lost himself to all rational thought.

  Alex was unprepared for Damien's sensual onslaught. The dim recollection of that first kiss they shared so long ago paled in comparison to reality. Her stomach fluttered and an expectant pressure built in her chest. Desire raged in her veins, strengthened by Damien's hard body pressed against her.

  She knew she was playing with fire, but couldn't help herself. The unleashed passion in Damien's powerful frame and the sexual hunger gleaming in his golden eyes tantalized her body to respond. Alex wanted more--she had waited so long. She leaned into his embrace; Damien tightened his arms around her and deepened the kiss.

  Alex moaned low when he softly cupped her full rounded breast. He made her feel so good. So feminine. So wild. When he brushed her taut nipple with his thumb, thousands of tiny sparks shattered inside her.

  Damien felt Alexandra tremble as he caressed her breasts. Her eyes flew open, and he saw passion reflected in the luminous depths and something else. Surprise? Wonder? Love?

  Good God! He was feeling the same way.

  With infinite regret, he set her back from him, retaining a brutal grip on her shoulders as he sought for control. He gave her a slight shake, then let her go. He would not succumb to the sensations threatening to consume him.

  "It's getting late," he said, his voice harsh. "We have guests to entertain." Damien scooped Alex up in his arms. "I'm carrying you back to the bank."

  Alexandra couldn't speak, only nodded. She draped her arms around his neck and leaned her head into his shoulder. Her soft curves beckoned beneath the thin material of her old gown. He was sorely tempted to set her on her feet again and continue where they'd left off, but sanity prevailed. Instead, he kissed her silky hair and returned to the stream.

  Damien quickly crossed the rushing waters, his feet sure on the slippery rocks. He deposited Alex safely on the grassy slope and, unable to look at her face, stared toward the falls. He'd been a fool to think he could kiss her just once.

  Something was different in the way he desired Alexandra, he knew that now. There was a treacherous tenderness that left him soft inside, yearning for her love as much as her body. Da
mien clenched his teeth. No! He could never allow himself to love such a beautiful woman.

  ****

  Biting her lower lip, Alex willed away the feeling of loss as Damien turned from her. Already he was rejecting her again. She donned her boots, fumbling with the laces. Stealing a glance at his stern profile, Alex felt a hollowness deep in her stomach. She knew he was regretting the embrace they had shared.

  Alexandra blushed when she remembered her boldness behind the waterfall. She had returned his kisses too eagerly, reaching for him when he pulled back. Why had she been so forward? What must he be thinking?

  Her knees wobbled when she stood. With trembling hands, she picked up her basket. Still Damien stood there, not looking at her. Moistening her lips, she spoke at last. "I'm going back. I'll see you at dinner."

  He turned to face her, searching her face. For what, she couldn't guess.

  "I'm coming with you." Damien grabbed the basket and led the way through the home woods.

  Alex hurried to keep up with him. It was a long way to the manor house, and they walked along the path in silence. Finally, she could bear it no longer. "I wish you would tell me what you're thinking."

  He stopped and glared down at her. A ferocious scowl marred his chiseled features. "My thoughts are better kept to myself." He quickened his pace and kept his eyes straight ahead.

  Alexandra's step faltered, but she recovered quickly. Why was he so angry with her? They finally reached the south entrance near the kitchens. Without warning, Damien pulled Alex roughly into the small portico before the door. Holding her prisoner against the red brick wall, he growled, "You want to know what I'm thinking? Then I'll tell you. You're a beautiful woman, Alexandra. Too beautiful. You've haunted my dreams for ten years. If it weren't for Robert, I'd have taken you long ago. Forbidden fruit is always the most tempting, don't you agree?" He laughed as she gasped and wiggled to loosen his hold on her.

  It was all he could do not to pull her against him. Damien reached to smooth the hair from her forehead. Alex pushed his hand away, her eyes blazing.