Start Again (The Re-Do Series Book 3)

by Nia Arthurs

  He notices anyway.

  “Come here,” he leads me to middle of the room where the light is the brightest.

  “I’m fine,” I jerk my chin from his hands.

  “You’re not. Hold still.”

  Before I can protest, Alistair pucker his lips and blows gently into my eye. For some reason, I am insanely jealous of my eyeball.

  “Better?”

  I nod because my throat is clogged with emotion and I can’t speak to save my life. He leads me to the bed.

  “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he assures. “Try to get some sleep.”

  Knowing that he’s not going to be in bed with me helps a lot. I clear my throat and try to speak.

  “What’s going to happen tomorrow?”

  “With what?”

  “With Maveth? With your dad? With… everything?”

  “I don’t know,” Alistair sets a comforter on the floor. “If Maveth survives the night, we’ll take it from there and my dad… I don’t know.”

  I roll over on my side while he takes off the light and settles on his makeshift bed on the ground.

  Alistair is near. Maveth is alive and I’m not a murder. It’s been a rough night, but I’m hopefully that sleep will come quickly.

  I am wrong.

  I toss and turn, despite the late hour.

  “Is there something bothering you?”

  I squeal when I realize that Alistair is right in front of my face. He kneels before me and tilts his head innocently.

  “You can’t do things like that,” I cover a hand over my chest.

  “I’m sorry. You’ve been sighing and turning around and around for two hours.”

  “I can’t sleep.”

  “I can see that. Would you like to talk about anything?”

  “Not really.”

  “Okay,” Alistair stands.

  “Actually… there is something.”

  “What is it?” He pulls an office chair and sits in front of me.

  “Lelita shared some things with me earlier tonight.”

  He keeps his expression carefully neutral. “What did she say?”

  “That you left out a few things when you told me your story. That you were offered the position of chief and you asked for a Denouncing instead.”

  Alistair grimaces. “That was not hers to share.”

  “Well, she did. And by the way, she wants to get back together.”

  “I was never with her,” Alistair denies.

  I waved away his words. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re a legend who has a league willing and waiting to take him back?”

  “Because that life is no longer mine.”

  “If people are waiting around for you to ‘take your rightful place’, I don’t think you’ve cut the ties as cleanly as you thought.”

  Alistair runs a hand through his thick hair. “It is true that the league nurses hope that I will return.”

  “Is that why you didn’t want to go back home? Why you travelled the world?”

  He nods.

  I lean against the pillows and fold my hands. “Do you want to be chief?”

  “No.”

  The conviction in his tone is strong. I feel, rather than hear, the finality within the word. Still, Lelita and her friends hadn’t gotten the memo.

  Alistair dips his head. “Do you remember that feeling you had when you thought you had killed Maveth?”

  I do. I wouldn’t wish that kind of guilt on my worst enemy.

  “While in the league, I never experienced that feeling. I buried it deep inside. Each kill added another layer but it was hidden away like money in a piggy bank. When I walked away from that life, the piggy bank was shattered and I feel that guilt multiplied, every day of my life.”

  “But… maybe you could lead the assassins in a different way. Without the killing––”

  “That’s not how it works. The very definition of our name is death. We usher it in with open arms. We wield it with swords and guns. What is this? Do you want me to return to the league?”

  I bite my lip and avoid his gaze. “I want you to be happy. Even though you’re out of the assassins, you have no peace.”

  I recall the lonely state of Alistair’s training room within the well back in Belize. I think of his loneliness for the last few years.

  All that Damien had shared while we toured with Dust and Ashes a few weeks ago comes rushing back.

  Being a part of the League of Assassins was like being a soldier. Well, sort of. Assassins chose their wars and got paid for them.

  But both entities knitted men from different paths together. Both shaped and guided. The principles and laws they upheld were deeply ingrained in every member.

  When Alistair left the league, he lost two families––his biological one and the one that took him in.

  I see the loss in his eyes and it bothers me. I want him to be happy. And even though there is something between us, I sense that he is not content.

  “Tess…” he rumbles.

  I can’t look at him. I don’t want Alistair to go back to murdering people in cold blood, but I do want him to find the fulfillment that the league provided.

  “Tess,” he lifts my chin and then folds his hands over mine. “I have you.”

  “That’s not enough,” I moan.

  “It is.”

  “You can’t find your meaning in a person.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You’re not happy.”

  “I am.”

  “We’re in a hotel room with a trained assassin bleeding out upstairs and you’re happy?”

  “He’s not bleeding out,” Alistair corrects. “And yes, I am.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re here. Now scoot over,” Alistair says.

  I frown as he nudges me to the other side of the bed.

  “I’m not into that…” I begin.

  “I’ll behave.”

  “I know where you keep your knives.”

  “I know.” Alistair grabs a pillow and stuffs it between us. “Happy?”

  “Yes.”

  He closes his eyes and I hear him mumble, “then so am I.”

  Chapter 14

  Alistair

  The ringing sound of a phone chirps in the darkness. I groan when I realize that I can’t move.

  A long tendril of curly hair is splayed over my forehead and chin. The sound of even breathing whispers in my ears.

  I turn my head and find Kendall resting on my arm. Thick dark eyelashes fall flat on her cheeks. Her lips are pursed and hang slightly open.

  She’s beautiful when she sleeps but her head might as well be an anchor.

  The incessant ringing of my burner phone forces me to yank my arm from beneath her. She murmurs but does not waken.

  The pillow I placed between us a few hours ago is now smushed at the end of the bed. Kendall would undoubtedly accuse me of misplacing it on purpose.

  “Ring!”

  The phone dances on the dresser.

  “I’m coming,” I slide out of the bed and flip the device.

  “Alistair?” Damien says.

  “Yes?”

  “Maveth’s awake.”

  “What?”

  “The delirium passed about two hours ago.”

  “Wonderful. He’s not giving you any trouble is he?”

  Damien pauses.

  “Is he?” I press.

  “Not exactly.”

  “What is it, man?”

  “He’s up.”

  “Yes?”

  “And he’s asking for you.”

  “I’m coming.”

  I write a quick note instructing Kendall to call me when she wakes up and leave the paper beneath the burner phone.

  I would feel more comfortable locking her in the room, but I’ve learned my lesson the first time.

  At the last minute, I return to the dresser and slip the Oreos on top of the note. In this perilous time, romancing Kendall has been pushed to the
side.

  But I want her to know that I meant everything I said last night.

  Three minutes later, I stride into the original suite. Lelita glares at me when I step through.

  “Did you two sleep soundly?”

  “We did.”

  Lelita scoffs. “Did you bed her, Alistair?”

  “Hey,” Damien enters the room carrying a glass of water. “Kendall isn’t like that.”

  Lelita is not convinced.

  I ignore them both and stare at Maveth. His dark eyes are black and blue. Weariness pulls his shoulders down and ages him.

  I remember the brother that helped train me back in the league. It is hard to forgive him, despite our history.

  He tried to kill Kendall, holding her death over my head so that I could barely breathe from the fear.

  He hit her. The split in her lip is just beginning to heal. Her shoulder had been roughly dislocated and then jerked back to place when he fell on top of her.

  He traumatized her. Kendall has a tender heart but lying down in a pool of someone else’s blood would upset anybody.

  Maveth deserves a thousand deaths, but I hold still.

  “What do you want?”

  Maveth glances at both Lelita and Damien. He waves them away.

  “Alone,” he croaks.

  “Not a chance, you big pile of––”

  “Go.”

  Lelita shoots to her feet. “I will not be dismissed like a common servant.”

  “Would you like to stay then? He won’t speak unless you leave.”

  “We can torture him,” Lelita suggests. “I have some methods that we may employ.”

  “That’s a great idea,” Damien agrees.

  I think of Kendall and shake my head. She would be sorely disappointed if we sunk to such dark methods.

  I will never be worthy of her, but disappointing her is not an option either. We would proceed with civility, not violence.

  “Leave.”

  They do so, hurling dark looks all the way.

  I face Maveth. He holds his head high and stands firm in the face of my regard.

  “Is the girl alive?”

  “She is the reason you are still breathing.”

  “I had a feeling. Knowing you, I would have been dead a long time ago.”

  This conversation is going nowhere. I don’t have time to waste.

  “What is it that you wish to speak of?”

  Maveth leans forward. The ropes binding him to the bedpost strain as he appeals.

  “If you will not kill me, let me work with you.”

  I keep my expression clear, but his words have thrown me for a loop. Maveth is not a man that can be trusted. Why would he propose such a ludicrous idea?

  “Do you understand what you have done?”

  He says nothing.

  I list his crimes. “You shot knives in a public parking lot. You threatened Kendall. You snuck into our hotel room and tried to kill her.”

  “I found her tied to a chair,” Maveth coughs. “You made it easy…”

  I grab him by the collar before he can finish his statement. He chokes in pain but I am filled with fury and nothing can curb my rage.

  “Do not speak.”.

  He falls silent.

  “I owe you nothing but death. It is only by her mercy that I have not driven a knife through your throat.”

  “Do so!” Maveth yells. “Do it! I have nothing to live for if you are found alive.”

  His words pique my interest.

  “Are you speaking of my father?”

  Maveth glowers.

  I release him and clasp my hands together.

  “Very well. Perhaps I should take my colleagues’ suggestion and torture the information out of you.”

  I walk toward the door.

  “Yes.”

  “What was that?”

  “I am speaking of your father.”

  The assassin is not meeting my eyes, but I sense no duplicity in his tone.

  “Why should I believe you?” I press.

  “Because…” Maveth stares me down. “I know where he is.”

  “You could be leading us right into an ambush.”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “Because of your honor?” I scoff. “Your reputation precedes you. You’ve laid waste to innocent women and children in cold blood. You have no honor to speak of.”

  “The stories you heard were falsified. Rumors spread by your father who wanted to ensure that no league would consider me.”

  “Did you not try to murder Tess only a few hours ago? Do not think I have gone soft, Maveth.”

  “It is true,” he groans and sits straighter. “I have no honor. That I sold a long time ago to protect something even more valuable.”

  “To protect what?”

  He says nothing.

  “Very well,” I rise. “Perhaps I shall call for my colleagues now…”

  “Fine! I will tell you!”

  I return to my seat and wait for him to proceed.

  “It’s not a what. It’s a ‘someone’.”

  “Someone? Is it … Miriam?”

  Maveth’s eyes flicker to mine. “How do you know that name?”

  “You yelled it at the height of your delirium last night. Who is she?”

  Once again he hesitates.

  “Is Miriam your… wife?”

  “My wife? No.”

  “Your mother?”

  Maveth says nothing.

  “A friend, sister, cousin?”

  He shakes his head in the negative for all of them. I am out of ideas.

  The shuffling on the other side of the door is growing louder. I imagine Damien and Lelita waiting impatiently.

  Both assassins are no doubt itching to return.

  Lelita has always been impatient. If Maveth does not unburden his secret now, she may storm in and ruin the progress I have made.

  “Spit it out, Maveth. I don’t have all day. Who is it that you are protecting?”

  The large man sighs and presses a hand to his side where the Kendall’s blade cut his skin.

  “Miriam is my daughter.”

  Chapter 15

  Kendall

  Sitting in on an assassins’ meeting is weird. Don’t get me wrong. I’m honored that they even included me in this part.

  I’m sure Lelita was outvoted by Damien and Alistair when the idea of asking my opinion was thrown out there.

  But… it’s still weird.

  “Why should we believe him?” Lelita slams her fist on the table.

  The silver utensils bounce and clatter back to the surface. Only a few patrons are in the hotel’s restaurant, but I still feel self-conscious.

  Damien and Lelita have their backs to the wall. Alistair sits beside me, but even his eyes scamper about every five seconds.

  These people are wound so tight, if I touch them they might explode like a jack-in-the-box.

  “I don’t know what to think myself,” Alistair admits. “But he looked sincere.”

  “Of course he looked sincere. He’s a mercenary trained by Chief Ladheug. He can convince anyone to do anything.”

  “Don’t forget. I was also trained by Ladheug. I know the tells as well as Maveth.”

  “What if he’s speaking the truth?” I suggest.

  The table stills.

  Lelita glares at me.

  Damien politely tells me to bug off.

  “Kendall, I doubt you’ve met the likes of Maveth.”

  “Have you forgotten who is responsible for catching him?”

  I hate to boast about stabbing a man but desperate times…

  “You didn’t,” Damien says.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Alistair placed x-erilin in the air vents. It is probably why you were able to overpower him. You didn’t really think…”

  “Damien!” Alistair cuts him off. “She has a point.”

  I sheepishly avoid everyone’s gaze.

  So maybe my victory was
n’t all that spectacular, but I still managed to face down an assassin, while bound and gagged I might add.

  That must count for something.

  “The point is,” Damien shakes his head, “Maveth could be saying anything to get out of his predicament alive. Say we do help him, what if he leads us right into a trap?”

  “What if he’s being sincere and he really does have a daughter?” I counter.

  “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Lelita flips her hair over her shoulder. “Do you know how rare it is for assassins to bear offspring?”

  “I get that it’s rare, but look at you. Aren’t you the offspring of a chief?”

  “The Order passes down by birth. My father had to take a wife.”

  I’ve offended the girl, but I don’t feel sorry for it.

  Damien thinks aloud. “I just don’t buy it. Let’s say Maveth has a daughter. We all heard him yell out ‘Miriam’ during his delusions. I can wrap my mind around that. But he didn’t tell us anything else.”

  “He clammed up when you two burst in,” Alistair glares at his friends.

  “We heard everything go silent. What were we supposed to do?” Lelita lifts her chin.

  “Maybe we should get more information. What does he mean when he asked us to help him? Does Alistair’s father have her hostage?”

  Alistair purses his lips, but does not refute my words.

  “I say we end things with a bullet through his skull and move on with our lives,” Lelita says.

  Geez, so violet.

  “I don’t trust this guy,” Damien adds.

  “Well, you all know I’m against murder so I say we find out more and help him get his daughter back.”

  “Alistair,” Lelita stares at the man beside me. “It’s down to you.”

  “If I agree with Kendall then it’s a stalemate.”

  “Yes, but if you agree with us then the commoner has no grounds.”

  Commoner isn’t a cussword, right? After the way Lelita says it, I have to check.

  We all wait for Alistair to make his decision. He strokes his chin and the rasp of it reminds me of last night.

  The assassin fell asleep far earlier than I did. I spent a few minutes studying his face.

  Earlier, I’d been blown away by his abs, but after reflection I recalled the scars that mottled his skin.

  Alistair is a man that has seen a side of this world that I have been sheltered from for most of my life.