by Lucy Gordon
His only saving grace was that Cindy's adoration had touched his heart and he'd opened his arms to her with true warmth. Now their mutual love was genuine. But that was no credit to him either, for who could help loving Cindy?
And there was Adrian, who'd been rightly suspicious of his father at first. He'd regarded that as a challenge and set out to overcome it. With the Outland incident he hadn't even seen the pit that yawned at his feet. But for Faye, he would have fallen in. He'd meant to use what Adrian had told him, but in the very act of signing the documents something had held him back. He'd torn them up and even tossed away the pen, as though it was contaminated. He'd lost the land, but he'd gained his son. Thanks to Faye's timely warning.
In the darkness he experienced the most terrible depths of self-disgust. His beloved children were enduring heartbreak and it was his fault. His wife had abandoned him as a lost cause and he knew now that she'd been right. He blighted everything he touched and nothing could live near him. Cindy's hate was a dreadful punishment, but infinitely worse was the knowledge that he deserved it.
He sat down on a bench and buried his head in his hands. He'd always been the man in control, but now that it mattered as never before he was totally helpless.
He felt a light touch on his head, and looked up to find his daughter regarding him. He almost flinched away from her, but there was no judgement in her small, tear-stained face.
'I'm sorry, darling,' he said huskily. 'I did my best. Truly I did. But I don't know what else to do…'
'It's not your fault, Daddy,' she said gently. 'I'm sorry for what I said.'
Her generosity brought tears to his eyes. For a moment he couldn't speak. When he tried to say something the words came out haltingly.
'It is my fault- He was always too old- I should have insisted on another dog-'
She shook her head decidedly. 'Then it wouldn't have been Barker.'
'But you'd have had him for a lot longer-'
'It wouldn't have been the same,' Cindy said simply. 'Barker is-Barker. Even if we didn't have him for long, we did have him.'
'A few short weeks,' he murmured, unwilling to let himself off the hook.
'But we had those weeks, that's what counts.'
There was an ache in his throat that made it hard to speak. 'I wanted-to save him for you, darling, but- but-'
Overwhelmed, he put his arms about her and held her close, his shoulders shaking. She hugged him back. 'It's all right, Daddy,' she whispered. 'Truly, it's all right.'
He looked up at her, and she stroked his face in wonder. 'Are you crying?'
'No, of course not,' he said hastily. 'Daddies don't cry.'
'Don't they really? Mummies do.'
He tensed. 'Does your mother cry?'
'She cried a lot when we went away two years ago. I didn't understand. Why did she leave you if it made her so unhappy?'
'Perhaps it made her even more unhappy to stay,' he said slowly. 'Does she cry now?'
'I don't know. Sometimes I think, but she doesn't let on.'
They held each other in silence. Several times he thought she was about to speak, but she always hesitated. 'Daddy,' she said at last.
'Yes, darling?'
'I think-we ought to-stop trying to keep Barker alive.'
He looked closely into her face. 'Do you really mean that?'
'It's not kind to let him suffer.' Suddenly the tears were pouring down her cheeks. 'Oh, Daddy, I love him so much-but if you love someone-you've got to let them go-if it's best for them.' She clung to him, not sobbing as before, but weeping softly with resignation.
'Cindy, are you sure you mean that?'
'Yes, yes-1 mean it, I mean it-'
Garth hugged her tightly, wondering at his child's courage, so much greater than his own. He saw his son standing quietly in the shadows. 'We should ask Adrian what he thinks,' he said, desperately playing for time.
Adrian was very pale. 'I've been listening. Cindy's right.'
Garth held out an arm and his son went into its circle. The three of them clung together. Faye, watching unobserved, silently backed away. Something painful was happening in her heart. Tonight Garth had become again the warm, emotional man she'd fallen in love with, and what she'd feared most had happened. Her feelings for him flowed freely again, and it hurt.
He joined her a few minutes later. His self-reproach was painful to see. 'I'm useless,' he said desperately. 'There's not a thing I can do-not a thing-' His voice trailed away. He was staring into the middle distance.
'What is it?' Faye asked.
'I'd forgotten-' he said slowly. 'I should have remembered before- There is something I can do.' He began to walk urgently around the building to where the car was parked.
'Garth,' she said, following him. 'What is it?'
'I'd forgotten what he said-but it may not be too late. Tell Miss McGeorge to keep Barker alive tonight at all costs. And call Bill. Tell him to take off as soon as possible for Brussels Airport to collect James Wakeham.'
Faye heard the car door slam and the vehicle pull away fast.
The door was opened by a pretty young woman with long, auburn hair, no make-up and an intense expression.
'I'm looking for Kendall Haines,' Garth said, puzzled. 'Does he live here?'
'Yes, come in.' Garth gave her his name and she stood back and called into the house, 'There's a Mr Clayton for you, love.'
Kendall appeared. It seemed to Garth that he was smoothing down his hair, but he was too preoccupied with his errand to observe much. 'I have to talk to you urgently,' he said without preamble.
Kendall showed him into the front room and said, 'Coffee please, Jane.'
'Yes, Ken.' She spoke eagerly and rushed into the kitchen as if he'd offered her a treat.
'I need your help,' Garth said. 'My children's dog is dying. His one chance is an operation, but the best man for that is James Wakeham and he's abroad. He says it's not worth returning. But I remember your telling me that he's a friend of yours.'
'You've spoken to Wakeham?'
'Yes. I told him to name his own price, but I can't budge him. He kept talking about his conference, the important people he had to see. You're his friend. Can't you make him understand that none of those things matter if it means hurting a child?'
'We're not precisely friends,' Kendall said slowly.
'But he owes you a favour-'
'Possibly.' Kendall stood for a moment, sunk in thought.
'Haines, for God's sake!' Garth said desperately. 'If you want me to plead, I will. I'll do anything, but you must get that man back here, because otherwise-' he paused and a shudder went through him '-otherwise I've done something unforgivably selfish and cruel.'
'But even if I do convince him, he may not get a seat on the plane at such short notice.'
'No problem. My own plane has already taken off to collect him.'
'You're a man of great self-confidence, I see.'
'No,' Garth said heavily. 'None at all.'
'Do you have his number?' Garth gave it to him and Kendall dialled. From the conversation that followed Garth deduced that Wakeham wasn't immediately available, but would call back soon.
Jane entered with a tray of fresh coffee and poured for them both. She handed Kendall his cup as he was putting the phone down.
'Can I do anything else for you?' she asked eagerly.
'Yes, finish those papers we were working on in the study.'
'Nothing here?' she asked, sounding disappointed.
'Just leave us alone, there's a dear,' Kendall said kindly.
'If you want me, you'll be sure to call me?'
'I promise.'
'My secretary,' Kendall said when the door had closed behind Jane. 'We were working late.'
'At this hour? She must be very obliging,' Garth said with a slight edge on his voice.
'I know what you're getting at, but who's fault is it? I was happy when Faye worked for me, but you wrecked that. Jane's good at her job and she
's always there when I need her.'
'You mean, unlike Faye?'
'It was Faye's own choice to drift away. She returned to you.'
A strange confusion of feelings warred within Garth. He should be glad that this man was getting out of his way, but his dominant feeling was one of anger. How dare this jerk dump Faye!
'I'd hardly say that she returned to me,' he said cautiously.
'But you're determined to get her back, aren't you? If you want to impress her, it was a shrewd move, coming here. Maybe that's why you came yourself instead of asking her to approach me.'
Garth stared, shocked into speechlessness. It simply hadn't occurred to him to send Faye.
The phone rang and Kendall answered. 'James,' he said heartily. 'Long time, no see. I'm here begging a favour-well, to call one in actually, since you still owe me for keeping quiet about that little matter- All right, you old dog, I was only joking. Actually, this is serious. You spoke to a friend of mine earlier- That's right, Garth Clayton-'
Garth had never doubted his own courage before, but suddenly he couldn't bear to listen. Everything in the world hung on this conversation. He left the room and stood in the hallway, nerves stretched to breaking point, until Kendall looked out.
'He's agreed,' he said, and Garth had to clutch the wall against the dizzying surge of relief. 'You'd better tell him about the plane yourself.'
The conversation was short and curt. Wakeham had been convinced, but was thoroughly displeased with everyone involved, himself included.
'I'll meet you this end,' Garth concluded.
When he'd hung up he allowed himself a few seconds' indulgence picturing Cindy's face when he told her. But it would take him fifteen minutes to get back to the surgery, and fifteen minutes could be a long time. He dialled at once and gave the news to Miss McGeorge, then to Faye.
'Tell the kids their old man pulled the rabbit out of the hat,' he said.
Her voice was husky. 'I knew you would. I just knew it.'
'Tell them quickly. Don't delay for a single moment. I'm on my way to the airport to fetch him.' 'Garth-' 'Yes?'
'Nothing. Just-take care.' 'I will. Tell Barker to hang in there.' Kendall Haines was watching him with a calculating expression on his face. Garth tried to thank him, but Kendall shrugged him away.
'Before I go, there's one question I'd like to ask,' Garth said. 'Did you know that I owned Melkham Construction when you took my son on that demonstration?'
Kendall grinned. 'Of course I knew.' 'You were playing a damned devious game.' 'Don't give me moral outrage. You've played a few devious games in your time.' 'Not by making use of children.' 'All's fair in love and war,' Kendall said with a shrug. 'And you're in love with my wife?' There was a small pause before Kendall said, 'I'm still engaged to her-as of now.' 'That's not an answer.' 'It's the only one you'll get.' 'Is she in love with you?' 'Ask her.' 'I have.'
'Then you already know the answer.'
In Kendall's position Garth knew he would demand to know what Faye had said. The other man's refusal to ask implied great self-restraint, or maybe something cooler. Garth recalled Jane and her worshipful expression. He saw Kendall looking at him wryly, bid him goodnight, and left quickly.
James Wakeham looked exactly as his voice had sounded, prissy and self-righteous. He gave Garth a nod to indicate that he forgave nothing, and got into the back seat of the car.
But his curtness fell away from him when he saw Barker and a cloak of authority descended like a mantle as he went through the readings on the machines.
'Stabilized? Good. Let's get to work then.'
The children were beyond words but their shining eyes, as they hugged their father, said everything. Cindy whispered, 'I knew you could do it.' She seemed convinced that Barker was certain to survive now and Garth lacked the heart to tell her any different.
Nancy, who'd gone home earlier, now reappeared with sandwiches and a flask of tea. Darkness had fallen, and the hospital was empty but for themselves and the two vets with Barker's life in their hands.
'The children ought to be home in bed,' Faye said ruefully. 'But I don't think they'll budge. Anyway, if Mr Wakeham can't save him, they'll want to be near Barker at the end.'
'Yes,' Garth said heavily. After his brief triumph it was salutary to be reminded that he might have achieved nothing at all.
'How did you get him to come over, after he refused?' Faye asked.
'Oh-I manoeuvred a bit.' He couldn't bring himself to tell her everything, in case it might seem like asking for praise.
'You mean you offered him more money?'
'Money!' he growled.
'Garth, I'm not criticizing, honestly. You were right to do anything that worked.'
Anything that worked. His own philosophy of life, but he'd meant money and power. It occurred to him that he'd always been thinking about these things. But this time it had been about something genuine and true. How strange, then, that he couldn't bring himself to speak of it!
Cindy and Adrian came and hugged him.
'Thanks, Dad,' Adrian said gruffly.
'Thank you, Daddy,' Cindy whispered.
'We're not out of the woods yet,' he warned them.
'But you did it,' Cindy insisted. 'You can do anything.'
He kissed her, but didn't say any more. Only he and his enemy knew the real sacrifice he'd made.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The operation lasted two hours.
'I did my best, but I can't work miracles,' James Wakeham said, emerging from the theatre and speaking brusquely. 'He's still alive, but it's too soon to be hopeful. You'll know by the morning.'
He resisted Garth's offer of hospitality. 'I'd like to go straight to the airport,' he said in his precise voice. 'No, don't drive me. I prefer a taxi. I expect your pilot to be waiting for me.'
'He will be,' Garth assured him.
'Not a charming character,' Miss McGeorge said when Wakeham had gone. 'But he's a genius at his job. You gave Barker the best possible chance.'
'But it's not a good chance, is it?' Garth asked.
'I'm afraid not. His age is still against him.'
Before being taken home the children begged to be allowed to say goodnight to Barker. Faye was reluctant, but Garth took their side.
'I'm afraid they'll be upset if they see him attached to a lot of machinery,' she protested.
'Not as upset as they'll be if he dies without them seeing him,' Garth said. And she realized he was right.
Like shadows they crept into the dimly lit room where he lay. As Faye had feared he was attached to drips and monitors, but both children simply ignored the machinery. They came close to Barker lying on the table, completely motionless except for the rise and fall of his breathing, and took it in turns to lift one of his floppy ears and whisper.
'I told him I loved him, so he's got to get well,' Cindy confided to her parents. 'But you must tell him too, so that he'll know we all need him.'
Faye murmured something loving into Barker's ear. But the really astonishing sight was Garth leaning down to say, 'Hang in there, boy. I've got a bone waiting for you at home like you wouldn't believe!'
'He heard you,' Cindy breathed. 'His nose twitched when you said "bone".'
'Darling, he's deeply unconscious,' Faye said.
'His nose twitched,' Garth said firmly. 'We saw it, didn't we?' He appealed to Adrian, who nodded.
They all crept out, pausing in the doorway for one more look at their friend who lay so silent and still.
By now it was long after midnight and the children could hardly keep their eyes open. Faye and Garth settled them gently in the back of the car and drove home. Nancy had gone ahead and was waiting to help put Cindy and Adrian to bed.
Faye went into the kitchen to make some tea. But as she reached out to the kettle she saw Barker's biscuits lying there, where she'd left them in the last moment before the nightmare began. The two red ones were still set apart, so that he could have them first. Perhaps h
e would never want them now. Suddenly unable to bear the sight, she rushed out of the kitchen and upstairs.
In her own room she was free to give way to her emotions. She left the light off and went to stand at the window, overlooking the spot where Barker had collapsed. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it and barely heard the click as Garth entered. He came close and touched her uncertainly on the shoulder.
'Faye,' he said quietly. 'Please-'
'It was down there,' she said huskily. 'They were playing ball and suddenly he made a different sound. Cindy called me and when I ran out he was lying stretched out on the ground-right there.'
'Hush!' he said, taking her into his arms. But she couldn't stop. The fear and grief of the day had caught up and overwhelmed her.
'He lay so still,' she choked. 'He's always been so full of life-into everything, and-and suddenly-he just didn't move-'
'Come away,' he said, drawing her away from the window.
'Suppose he never moves again-'
'Don't,' he begged her. 'You can't blame me more than I blame myself.'
'No, no, I didn't mean that- It's just that-he's one of the family and-I love him so much.'
'I know,' he said wryly. 'So do I.' He pressed her gently down on a small sofa and sat beside her. 'Take this,' he said, putting a glass into her hand. 'It's brandy. I brought it up because we both need one.'
She sipped it, and blew her nose. 'It's such a short time we've had Barker,' she said. 'Yet I can't imagine doing without him.'
'Perhaps we won't have to.' Garth drank some brandy and tried to steady himself. He'd skipped breakfast to make some final notes for his meeting and since then the only thing he'd had was Kendall's coffee. Now tension and an empty stomach were making him lightheaded. It was hardly possible that he could be sitting here with Faye, talking like this in the darkness. At the same time, it seemed perfectly natural.
Faye was in no better state. Unlike Garth, she'd had breakfast, and later a sandwich at the surgery. But she was exhausted and glad of the brandy.
