by Debra Doxer
Seth just looked at me.
“Why would anyone believe that?” Seth’s placid face made me want to walk over and hit him. “Seth?”
He took a deep breath and rushed a hand through his hair. “He took the fireplace poker with him that night. Just like we thought. He said he would put it somewhere that would be incriminating for you and then tell the police about it.”
I shook my head at this. “That’s ridiculous. He’s going to voluntarily go to the police and fabricate this story about me and hide the poker where? In my parents’ house? And what would you say, Seth? Would you back up Eddie’s story like he suggested you would?”
Seth leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. “No way.”
I stepped closer to him, wanting him to look me in the eye. “That answer wasn’t very convincing.”
“Let’s not let it come to that okay?”
I got in his face now, rage simmering inside me. “You would do it, wouldn’t you? You would say I did it.”
“No, Dan. I wouldn’t do that to you. But I don’t think it has to get that far. I think we should just tell them we were with Eddie and then that can be it. It can hopefully just end there.”
I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. I took a step back and studied Seth as he stood in the kitchen where we had shared so many meals together, where we had practically grown up together and I suddenly felt as though I had no idea who he was. Meeting him and Eddie for a drink that night was the worst decision I had ever made. I wouldn’t compound it with another one.
“I won’t do that,” I said.
Seth pounded his fist on the wall and shook his head at me. “I knew you wouldn’t agree. You’ve always been so goddamned stubborn.” He started pacing in front of the table. “Well, we’ll have to think of something else then.”
My eyes widened at him. “Something else?”
He nodded.
“I assume you mean something other than going to the police with the truth. Because that’s really what we should do at this point.”
“No,” he answered dismissively. “We have to do something that keeps our names out of it.” He glanced up at me with an idea. “Eddie is already hiding from the police, right? Maybe we could convince him that leaving town is the best thing. We could give him some money, help him go somewhere."
"First of all, I don't have any money that I don’t need, and if I did I certainly wouldn't give it to him."
Seth stopped abruptly and leaned in close to me. Obviously my germs were no longer a concern. "Don't you have any ideas, Dan? Why am I the only one here trying to figure this thing out?”
I reached for the closest chair and sat down hard. "Give me a second to catch up. Okay? A minute ago you were both ready to turn me in.”
Across the table, Seth lowered himself into a chair. “I would never do that. I just think that we can still figure out a way to get out of this. If Eddie took the poker, then the police might not even have any evidence. They’re not trying to arrest him, just talk to him. If we can convince him that leaving town is his best option, that works out for everyone.”
“Where would he go? How long would he have to be gone for? He’s probably never even left South Seaport.”
“Then we’ll have to make him see that this is an opportunity. It’s not as though his life here is all that great.”
I should have said no to this. Believing that Eddie was dangerous and that Seth wasn’t trustworthy, I should have decided to go to the police on my own and do the right thing. Then I thought of the repercussions of doing just that. I was sure that running off that night and not getting the man help was likely a crime in itself. If I went to the police on my own, I knew that Eddie would try to turn it all on me, and I did not know what Seth would do in that case. In all likelihood, he would do whatever it took to save himself. If it was somehow possible to escape this entire situation without anyone ever finding out the truth, I had to at least try. I had set myself on this path when I made my decision not to help the man that night. Now, I could only try to help myself.
“Fine,” I said. "We'll try to convince him to leave town."
Seth sighed with relief. "Okay. Good.”
When my mother returned that afternoon, she made me toast with black raspberry jam and poured me another glass of juice. I sat in the living room for the rest of the day while she puttered around the house, checking in on me at different points. The Christmas tree was wilting. It would have to be disposed of soon.
Seth was going to get in touch with Eddie and tell him that we wanted to talk. If Eddie decided that he had no intention of leaving, he would once again try convincing me to lie and then he’d likely threaten me, too. I knew there could be a confrontation. Although I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of a possible confrontation with Eddie, I couldn’t hide from this anymore. I needed to be there.
"Daniel, it's time to take more aspirin."
I glanced up and saw Mom standing over me with a glass of water and two white pills. I sat up and took both from her extended hands. As I swallowed, she bent down and began picking up the tissues I had sneezed into and then discarded beside me.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Maybe a little," I fibbed. My head was pounding and my stomach felt like someone had punched it. But my cold probably had nothing to do with either discomfort.
"Well let's hope by Monday you're doing better. You wouldn't want to disappoint your professor after he's been so kind to you. Although, if you're still sick, you're not going to work. I'm telling you right now so there will be no argument about it later."
I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. "Let's worry about that on Monday. Okay?" I wished that was the worst thing I had to worry about.
"We'll see," she answered noncommittally.
"Where is Dad today?” I asked. “Working?"
She sat down beside me on the couch. "He said he was driving to Yarmouth to look at a piece of land someone might be interested in building on."
"Do you think that’s what he’s really doing?" I asked boldly.
She didn’t answer at first. "I don't know, Daniel," she sighed, not sounding angry, just tired.
"If you think he’s really at the pub, you could go down there and see for yourself. I could go with you if you like."
She shook her head. “No, I don’t want to go there,” she told me, keeping her eyes on the carpet. Then she patted my knee and stood. “I'd better go get dinner started.”
I watched her disappear into the kitchen thinking how devastated she would be if she knew Dad wasn’t the only one keeping things from her.
Dad came in late that night, long after dinner. I was back on the couch watching television. "I hear you've got a cold," he commented looking down at me. The room was dark with only the flickering of the television occasionally lighting his shadowed form. He lifted his baseball cap, ran his large hand over his unruly hair and then replaced the cap on his head, fiddling with the brim to position it right.
"Yeah," I answered.
“That’s too bad. Having a cold during your vacation.”
“Yeah,” I repeated, not in the mood to muddle through another conversation with him.
"Well," he continued. "I thought you might be interested in this. You were friends with the McKenna boy in high school, weren’t you?”
I nodded at him, sitting up a little straighter.
“A couple of the police officers here in town work on one of my weekend crews to make some extra money. They were saying that they’re looking to talk to the McKenna kid about that killing that happened here in town just before the holiday.”
“Really?” I said, although this wasn’t news to me.
He eyed me intently. "Have you seen him while you’ve been home?”
I shook my head automatically.
“Because apparently he was out with some friends at the Southside Tavern the night the attack happened.”
My stomach lurched, and t
hen my heart began hammering against my ribs.
“You weren’t there, were you?” he asked.
I had already done this, gone over who had been there that night. I hadn’t recognized anyone. So it would stand to reason that no one had recognized me. But we hadn’t planned to lie about being there with Eddie, just about what happened after.
“No” I said, panicking now over what saying yes would mean, the additional questions that would follow, questions I wasn’t ready to answer tonight.
“That’s good,” he replied. His eyes stayed on me for another beat before he continued. “Because that boy has always been trouble. Goodnight, Daniel.”
“Goodnight,” I told him. After he left, I sat there for some time not moving in the darkness. The rhythm of my heart never slowed as I stared, unseeing at the TV.
sixteen
My cold still had its claws in me when I woke up the next morning. On the dresser, my phone vibrated, and I read a text from Seth asking if I could meet him at the coffee shop. That meant his mother was probably home, and he didn’t want to speak in front of her.
I showered, dressed, and threw a couple of cold pills and aspirin down my throat. I called out to my mother as I headed out the door with her keys. “I’m going out.”
“What?” she cried following after me. “But you’re sick, Daniel. You shouldn’t go out.”
“I feel fine today,” I lied, standing in the doorway, pulling my coat on. “I won’t be gone long.”
Her disapproval was evident. “I think you should stay home one more day.”
“Did you need the car?” I asked, not addressing her comment.
“No.”
“Then you don’t mind?” I asked holding her keys now.
She hesitated a moment more, but then she gave in as I knew she would. “Just don’t stay out too long.”
I saw Seth sitting by the window when I pulled up. After getting the largest sized coffee they sold, I joined him.
“You still look like shit,” he said in greeting.
I hadn’t bothered shaving or sleeping much in the past couple of days. “Feel like it, too,” I answered before taking a sip of the scalding coffee, the burn traveling down my throat but not warming me the way it should have.
“So, I talked to Eddie,” he began.
I watched him, realizing all our conversations began this way now.
“He wants to meet in the woods behind your house tonight.”
“The woods?” We hadn’t gone there together since high school. “Why there? We’re going to freeze our asses off. He can’t think of a place indoors to talk?”
“He doesn’t want to risk being seen, I guess,” he shrugged after taking a slow drink from his steaming cup. “Do you want to suggest another place?”
I shook my head. “No, just leave it. We need to talk to him as soon as possible. My dad told me the police know he was at the Southside Tavern that night with some friends. I don’t think they know who the friends were though.”
Seth’s brows shot up. “How do you know this?”
“Apparently my dad knows some cops. They told him.” Seth didn’t ask, so I didn’t tell him that I’d lied to my father about being there that night.
After letting this news sink in for a moment, Seth said, “Let’s not mention this to Eddie tonight.”
I gulped down more coffee. “I hadn’t planned on it.” In fact, I planned on saying as little as possible. If he wasn’t open to the idea of getting the heck out of town and if he couldn’t be convinced, I didn’t know what plan B was. If Eddie threatened to make it look as though I had done it and if I actually believed he would do that, I would need Seth on my side to tell the police what had really happened, but I didn’t know if I could count on that either. Eddie had to agree to leave. I had no other good options.
The rest of the day dragged by at a torturously slow pace. Seth said the meeting time was set for two in the morning. There had to have been a better place and a more decent time to have held this meeting, but I wasn’t about to alter Eddie’s plan and possibly risk a flare up of his temper. We had to get this over with. It would be frigid out there in the woods, but it would also be quiet and deserted.
Mom knew there was something wrong when I came home. She was working in the kitchen when I walked in. I sat down at the table, preoccupied with my thoughts, but not wanting to be alone. Her presence was soothing and moreover it was normal. I needed that today, even if just for a little while.
"Is something the matter, Daniel?”
I looked up at her, startled by the question. "No,” I replied automatically.
She was wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "You’re awfully quiet. Is it Seth?”
“Seth?” I repeated.
“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I mean he practically forced me to wake you up when you were feeling so ill. Did he talk about his parents’ divorce with you?"
I felt like shaking my head to gather my senses as I slowly realized that my mother was referring to the lie I had told her the other day.
She came to the table. "His father is getting remarried isn't he? To that young girlfriend."
I blinked at her, wondering at how different our trains of thought were at this moment. "No,” I told her, scrubbing a hand over my rough, unshaven cheek. “Seth's father isn't getting remarried. At least I don't think so. He just wanted to talk. It wasn't about anything specific."
Although I hoped I was wrong, it appeared as though disappointment had crossed her face. A juicy piece of gossip had slipped through her fingers. She looked past me into the living room. "Before you go back to school, we'll get rid of that tree. It’s hard to believe another year is almost over."
We ate dinner together, just Mom and I. I didn’t know where my father was, and I didn’t ask. Mom’s mood seemed melancholy, and she went to bed around ten. I stayed in my room. I read for a while, and then I listened to some music. Although I didn’t think it was necessary, I set the alarm on my phone to wake me at one-thirty. As the hours passed and I still hadn’t heard my father’s truck pull into the driveway, my anxiety only increased. I needed him to be home and sound asleep before I snuck out.
I watched the clock all evening and finally around one in the morning, I heard it. The truck came lumbering up the driveway and all the familiar sounds of him returning home that had once dully rolled past me now held my full attention, the front door opening and closing, the front closet opening and closing, footfalls on the stairs growing louder as he ascended. Once I heard the bedroom door close, I turned and looked at the clock. I had twenty minutes left. I sat up and grabbed my phone, turning off the alarm I wouldn’t need. Out my window, I saw the beginning of the woods where Eddie, Seth, and I had gathered so many times in the past. It used to be a place to which I could escape from my reality. But I realized that back then my reality was hardly difficult compared to others. Compared to Eddie’s. Now his reality was threatening to swallow mine.
Those last twenty minutes passed both too slowly and too quickly. Just before two, out my window, I could see Seth’s mother’s car down the road, parking off to the side. I pulled my jacket on over my sweater and grabbed my hat and gloves. As quietly as I could manage, I opened my bedroom door and moved across the creaking boards down the hallway toward the stairs. Every noise I made seemed magnified and impossibly loud as I listened for a stirring from my parents’ bedroom.
Once I was safely in the kitchen, I took the flashlight from the drawer beside the refrigerator, where I knew my mother kept it. When I pulled opened the front door and stepped outside, the chill immediately pricked at the exposed skin on my face. Misty puffs of breath trailed beside me as I followed along the side of the house. A circle of yellow light from the flashlight led the way across the dried grass that was still matted with a thin covering of snow. I could hear no other sounds beyond my own breathing.
Seth was standing beside his mother’s car, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, bouncing
up and down on the balls of his feet. When he noticed me, he seemed relieved. "Am I late?" he asked. "I was afraid I was late."
"No, it's just two now."
Seth transferred his weight from one foot to the other as he turned to look down the road. "I don’t see Eddie’s car. Do you think we should wait for him?”
I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time. It was now one minute past. An uneasy feeling that Eddie might not show up nudged at me. "He may have come in from the other side,” I said. “I think we should just go in.” As I walked past Seth, I picked up the smell of alcohol. I immediately stopped walking. “You’ve been drinking,” I accused.
"Relax," he said stepping back. "I just had a few beers."
I glared at him. “I would think you’d want to be clear-headed for this.”
“I’m not drunk, okay? Calm down.”
I turned back to the woods, shaking my head as I continued moving. Seth came up beside me, and we walked in together. A half moon lit the sky, and now that my eyes had adjusted, the night wasn’t quite so dark. We followed the path we were both familiar with but hadn't traversed in years. It was tricky going, and Seth stayed close to me as we shared the beam from my flashlight to avoid tripping over rocks and raised roots. The small clearing was just up ahead. I came out first, sweeping the area with the flashlight.
"Do you see him?" Seth asked from behind me.
"No."
The clearing was small, only a few yards in each direction. A canopy of dark, bony branches hovered above us, cutting the moonlight. If this were summer, the clearing would be in complete blackness, the thick leaves shutting out all light. But now, with the moon overhead, the clearing looked like a stage set apart from the shadowed woods. The ground was rigid and frozen beneath our feet. My toes were already becoming numb. Seth began to pace. I turned off the flashlight, shoved it down into my coat pocket, and stood with my arms crossed before me for warmth.
“Where the hell is he?” Seth muttered just as a branch snapped to the right of us, beyond the clearing. Both of our heads whipped around toward the source, our eyes riveted to the boundary there. Our poised expectancy was met with only silence. I was about to say it must have been an animal when out stepped Eddie. I first saw him from the corner of my eye as a dark silhouette hovering at the perimeter. When I looked at him fully, his face was hidden in shadows, but the silver buckles on his leather jacket glinted at me in the dim light.
