Destined for You

by Tracie Peterson

  “Oh, Gloriana,” Mrs. Sedgwick said, coming to her side. “Let me see that precious babe.”

  Gloriana handed Sally over, grateful for the opportunity. She pulled her fine wool coat on as the pastor’s wife fussed over the sleeping child.

  “She’s grown so much. I can scarcely believe it. She’s doubled in size since Christmas.”

  “She has, and she’s such a happy baby. She’s a delight. She keeps me from ever being too sad. JT has his puppy, and I have Sally. They have gotten us through our deepest sorrows.”

  Mrs. Sedgwick met Gloriana’s eyes. “I’m so glad you came today, my dear. I’ve missed our chats. Do you suppose you might come for tea sometime this week?”

  Gloriana hadn’t wanted to participate in any of the winter social events and had made herself scarce. There had been invitations, but usually she refused. This time, however, she thought she might as well accept.

  “Will it just be us?”

  “Of course. And bring Sally. Why don’t you come Tuesday at two? That will give us plenty of time to visit before you have to worry about JT getting home from school.”

  Gloriana nodded. “I think I’d like that.”

  “So, are you excited about Luke adopting Sally legally?”

  Gloriana tried not to betray her surprise. Adoption? Luke had said nothing about adopting Sally. She supposed it made sense that some sort of legal arrangement needed to be made, but why hadn’t he told her?

  She kept her gaze on the infant. “It will give her stability and protection.”

  “True. I’m sure that’s uppermost on his mind.” Mrs. Sedgwick handed Sally back to Gloriana. “I think perhaps there is more on his mind than that, however. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Gloriana.” She grinned. “I think the young man is in love.”

  Gloriana felt her cheeks grow hot. “I . . . don’t think . . . I . . .”

  “My dear, you needn’t explain. God has put the two of you together for a reason, and I think you make a handsome couple. I wouldn’t worry about the rumors or other nonsensical talk going around. You have conducted yourself quite honorably, as I see it. Just don’t let love slip away from you because of your sadness. Love might very well be God’s answer for seeing you through these difficult times.”

  “Love? Should I love someone else only to lose them as well?” Gloriana asked, temporarily losing her anger that people were gossiping about her and Luke.

  “Oh, my dear, it is so hard to lose someone we love.” Mrs. Sedgwick patted her hand. “But we can hardly stop loving because of it. What is life without love?”

  Gloriana wasn’t sure, but it seemed it might very well be less complicated and painful. “I’m sorry, I must go. Luke probably has the carriage brought around. I’ll come and see you Tuesday.” She gave Mrs. Sedgwick a quick peck on the cheek. “Until then.”

  She hurried down the aisle, making sure the baby was completely wrapped up before heading out the church doors. Several women commented and bid her greetings, but Gloriana barely had time to give them a nod. No doubt it would send their tongues wagging once again.

  Oh, who cares what they say? People were always going to say something about something. Gloriana couldn’t allow it to bother her.

  Luke stood waiting beside the carriage when she reached it. He took the baby and waited while Gloriana settled herself in the carriage, then handed Sally to her. He climbed up and squeezed in beside her, then took up the lines.

  “I think it’s colder now than it was this morning. Is that even possible?”

  “Of course, silly,” Gloriana said, putting aside her disgruntled feelings. “It often happens that way. Didn’t you see the skies? It’s going to snow again.”

  “Then I’d best get you home and the horses to the livery.”

  JT squirmed. “Gloriana said we’re having meat pies for lunch with gravy poured all over them. She got some pork from Mr. Griggs. He butchered one of his pigs.”

  “That was very generous of him,” Luke declared.

  “It was. I promised him an apple pie in return,” Gloriana said. “Folks do a lot of trading around here in the winter when supplies are harder to get.”

  “Luke, what’s a doption?” JT asked out of the blue.

  “What?” He sounded almost startled by the boy’s question.

  “A doption. I heard the judge say that Sally is getting one. Is it a toy?”

  Luke chuckled. “No.” He glanced at Gloriana. She wasn’t quick enough to hide her frown, but Luke didn’t seem to notice, or perhaps he didn’t care. “Adoption is a process that makes Sally legally mine. No one can take her away from me, and she will have my name and protection.”

  “But she’s already a Carson. Why does she need adoption?”

  Luke turned to Gloriana. “I’m sorry I’ve had no time to talk to you about this. I had a letter from my father. He intends for Sally to go to Philadelphia to live with him. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let him take her from you—hurt you that way.”

  She hadn’t imagined that she had been a factor in his decision. It touched her deeply to think that Luke was worried about her being hurt in the matter.

  “Look, we can discuss this over lunch,” he said as they reached the house. “I’ll get the horse settled and be right back.”

  She nodded, still uncertain of what to say. She had always known that despite Sally Carson asking her to raise the baby, the child had no relationship to Gloriana. She was Luke’s niece, and that made her blood kin. Gloriana was just a friend who happened to be the only mother the child had known.

  Luke helped her and the baby from the carriage, while JT leapt out—jumping into a pile of snow as if he could fly. He laughed with glee as he crashed into the mound. “Can we go sledding this afternoon?”

  Luke raised a brow. “It sounds like fun. What do you think, Gloriana?”

  “I think the baby and I would prefer the warmth of the house, but you boys do as you see fit.”

  “Very well. After lunch, then, Master JT. We’ll go and conquer a few hills. Do you have a sled?”

  JT nodded. “A really fast one. Papa helped me make the runners really smooth. I’ll show you.”

  “Excellent. I’ll be back shortly, and you can do exactly that.”

  “After you change your clothes,” Gloriana instructed.

  Inside, she built up the fire and then unwrapped the baby. Sally kicked and squealed. She was becoming such a force to be reckoned with, and her personality was more apparent every day. Gloriana often tried to decide who she looked more like, Sally or Scott. Always she came to the same conclusion. The baby had Scott’s mouth and chin, but Sally’s eyes and nose. She was the perfect combination of both.

  Gloriana checked on their lunch and then warmed the baby a bottle. She thought about the adoption and what it would mean for the future. She had always known that she had no legal rights to the child, but Luke could have at least discussed his plans. It was hard to learn it from Mrs. Sedgwick. No doubt the rest of the congregation already knew as well. News traveled very fast in Duluth.

  JT bounded back into the front room, doing up the buttons on his play shirt. “I put on long underwear and will wear the sweater you made me.”

  “Wear double socks too. You know how cold your feet get, even with those good boots.”

  It wasn’t long before Luke returned. His cheeks were red from the cold, but he seemed no worse for wear. “You were right. It’s starting to snow again.”

  “I’ve lived here all of my life. It seems only right that I should understand the weather. Now, as soon as I finish giving Sally her bottle, we can eat our lunch.”

  The baby didn’t appear even the slightest bit tired, so once she was fed, Gloriana spread a blanket on the floor near the table and gave Sally a cloth doll to play with while the boys took their seats.

  “She’ll be sitting up and crawling before we know it.”

  “Babies change fast,” Gloriana admitted. “The first year is a whirlwind
of mile markers, Mama used to say.”

  Luke said grace, and then he and JT began to pass the food. Gloriana took a meat pie and drenched it in gravy.

  Luke took two of the pies. “They look wonderful. I haven’t had meat pies like this since I was a boy.”

  “Gloriana puts vegetables inside with the gravy,” JT explained. “I don’t like those as much as the meat, but I eat them anyway. Papa always said vegetables were good for my const . . . consti . . .” He looked at Gloriana.

  “Constitution,” she relayed.

  “Constitution,” JT repeated. “I don’t know what that is, but Papa thought it was important, so I do too.”

  Luke chuckled. “A good constitution will see you through many a bad time.”

  They ate in silence while the baby cooed and babbled. Finally, after his second pie was gone, Luke spoke up.

  “Regarding the adoption, I apologize for not talking it over with you. I knew I needed to act fast.”

  “You hardly need my permission. She is your niece.”

  “But I feel it is important to discuss everything with you that is related to Sally. She is yours as much as mine. I want you to know that I mean that.”

  “Maybe you could adopt all of us,” JT said, grinning. “Then we’d be one big family.”

  “I’d like that,” Luke said, surprising Gloriana. “I really would.”

  She didn’t know what to say. She looked down at her plate. It wasn’t exactly a proposal, but she couldn’t help but feel that was his intention. The thought made her tremble. Everything would be wrapped up in perfect order if they married. She knew there were strong feelings between them, but they never talked about it.

  She met his gaze, knowing he was expecting her to say something. Be brave, she told herself. Speak up and let him know how you feel. Don’t hide from love.

  Gloriana swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d like it too.”

  Chapter 18

  “I’m so glad you could come to tea, Gloriana. I miss having time with you and your mother.” Greta Sedgwick handed Gloriana a cup and saucer while Sally slept soundly on the little settee.

  Gloriana lifted the steaming liquid to her mouth and paused to breathe in the rich aroma. “I’m glad I could come. I’ve missed our times together.” She didn’t add that it was still hard to leave the house—to talk to old friends and, worst of all, pretend life was normal.

  Mrs. Sedgwick took her seat and nodded. “Life without your mother must be quite difficult. Every girl wants to be able to consult their mother, especially on matters of the heart. In her absence, might I be a substitute, albeit a poor one?”

  “You aren’t a poor substitute, Mrs. Sedgwick.” Gloriana offered her a smile before sampling the tea. It was quite good. She lowered the cup. “You were my mother’s dearest friend, and as such you are the natural substitute. Mama would be honored to know you were here, sharing such love with me.”

  If only I can bear it without tears.

  Mama had been close with Greta Sedgwick, and the friendship shared by the two women was admired by many. Gloriana had never really considered how much the older woman must miss Mama. Gloriana had been so concerned with her own misery that she hadn’t given anyone else consideration.

  “I miss her so much. Some days when I’m at the house and the baby is asleep, I think I hear her call my name.” Gloriana shook her head. “I close my eyes and imagine she’s there, and I answer.”

  Mrs. Sedgwick nodded. “It’s to be expected. You were very close.”

  “Sometimes I still can’t believe how quickly she passed. It seemed that one day she was in good health and the next day, dead. How these things can possibly happen baffles me.” Gloriana licked her bottom lip. “I’m sorry that I haven’t given your feelings much consideration. I know it must be terribly hard on you to have lost her. I know how much you relied on each other.”

  “I never got to say good-bye,” Greta murmured. “I was going to bring a pie for you and your father that day. I had planned to visit with her and see how I might help, but before the pie was done, my husband returned to say your mother was gone. The children too.”

  “They did go very fast. The doctor said it wasn’t at all the usual way of the disease. He thought perhaps there was an infection in the heart and lungs.” Gloriana shook her head, not wishing to dwell on the memory. “And now Papa is gone as well.” She sighed. “And the house seems so empty sometimes.”

  “Perhaps it would be good to move away from the memories. I understand Luke is building a new house.”

  “Yes, he is. But that’s his house—not mine.”

  Mrs. Sedgwick smiled. “Gloriana, I believe that young man is in love with you. With the way you two have borne each other’s sorrows, helped each other care for the baby and JT . . . well, I believe it’s just a matter of time until he proposes.”

  Gloriana felt her cheeks warm. “It’s happened without my even noticing it. At least at first. Luke was just like an old friend or family member who showed up to help in a time of need. I feel like I’ve known him all my life.” She marveled at her feelings. “It just happened so naturally—as if it was always meant to be.”

  “Perhaps it was. You both suffered loss, and that brought you together to share the pain,” Mrs. Sedgwick said, her voice tender. “God knew your need.”

  “Ah, yes. God.” Gloriana sampled the tea again. “I’ve been thinking long and hard about my anger toward Him.”

  “And what conclusions have you come to?”

  “God is all-knowing. He knows how I feel—knew how I would react to losing Papa. I’ve not surprised Him, although I fear I have greatly distanced myself from Him.” She glanced toward the windows to find it was snowing again. “When I sit back in the calm of the day, I am shocked at myself for reacting as I have. I would never have thought myself capable. But nevertheless, I put that distance between us.”

  “Distance can be overcome, but it takes a willingness to return. Do you have that?”

  Gloriana’s shoulders slumped. “I feel so alone, and I know it’s my own fault. Mama once said she didn’t worry about leaving JT in my care. This was hours before she died. She knew she didn’t have long. She told me she knew I would love and care for JT, but most of all, she knew I would share Jesus with him every day because God was so important to me and to who I was that I wouldn’t be able to help myself. Now I know that I’ve failed her.”

  “It’s not too late, Gloriana.” Mrs. Sedgwick’s consoling voice soothed Gloriana’s heart. She wasn’t at all condemning, just encouraging. “Your mother was a wise woman. She knew there might come times of frustration and disappointment, but she also knew you would never waver and leave the truth behind. Your heart hurts for the loss, and you want someone to take the blame. Give it to God—His shoulders are big enough. Leave it at the cross. Jesus has already died for your anger and disbelief.”

  Gloriana began to weep. She put the cup and saucer aside as her hands began to tremble. “Can He forgive me—even now—knowing the way I’ve been? My heart has been so hardened by all of this.”

  “I doubt that. If it were truly hardened, you wouldn’t care. Your heart is aching, and that’s why there are tears. Gloriana, God can and already has forgiven you. He won’t force you to come to Him, but He will willingly wait for you to return.”

  Her hands trembled all the more as Gloriana thought of the last few months. “I’ve been so unkind—said regretful things. I said . . . I told Him that I couldn’t believe He really loved me. But I know He does. I know, too, that love sometimes takes on different looks to different people. Please tell me it’s not too late.” She buried her face in her hands.

  Nothing had prepared her for this moment. She hadn’t come to see Mrs. Sedgwick thinking they would talk about God and her hard heart. Why now? Why was all of this crashing down around her now? She’d worked so hard to keep her sorrow contained in a neat little box. Why must it spill out now?

  “Oh, my sweet girl,” Mrs
. Sedgwick said, coming to sit beside her. She put her arms around Gloriana and pulled her into a warm embrace. For several minutes she said nothing and Gloriana simply cried. She cried for her sinful heart. Cried for her mother’s and father’s passing—for her brother and sister. Cried for the future without them.

  And in the middle of all of it, Gloriana felt the most amazing comfort. The love of Mrs. Sedgwick was a huge part of it. She cared deeply—loved completely. There was no pretense in her manner. She was sharing her heart and love with Gloriana, knowing that it was the only thing that could help in true healing. She didn’t condemn or leave Gloriana to feel hopeless for the way she’d behaved. She just loved her.

  “I don’t know how to go on without them,” Gloriana finally murmured. “They were everything to me.”

  “I know, but they would want you to be relieved of the pain. It would break their hearts to think you couldn’t live life, fall in love, and have a family of your own because their shadow fell too heavy on your heart.” Mrs. Sedgwick straightened and drew Gloriana’s face up to meet her eyes. “Your dear mother would want you to return the love of that good man—to marry him and mother this babe—to raise your brother as a godly man. If you cannot do it for yourself, then honor those who’ve gone before you and do it for them. Do it to perpetuate the love they taught you.”

  Gloriana nodded. “And God . . . will He forgive me?”

  Mrs. Sedgwick nodded. “He will. Just ask Him and see.”

  Luke glanced over the day’s schedule once again. February fifteenth had been set for the Northern Pacific groundbreaking, although it seemed silly to call it that. Very little real construction would take place. The cold was bitter and the ongoing problems too numerous to resolve. Still, Jay Cooke had arranged for three to four hundred of his wealthy friends and dignitaries to be there for the celebration. He had all but paid the newspapers to be there in force and made sure that every man, woman, and child from Superior and Duluth who could attend did so. He even somehow managed to have additional sleighs brought in to take everyone to the site. Luke thought it all ridiculous but made sure there were multiple bonfires to keep the people from freezing to death. One of the local pastors prayed for the new line, and then J. B. Culver of Duluth shoveled out a scoop of dirt to officially break the ground. This was followed by several other men taking a turn with the shovel, and then an orator came to the dais and spoke of the grand and glorious line they had just begun.