Vorpal Blade

by John Ringo

  And now the young idiot was attacking with his sword!

  "That was your grandmother's!" Lady Che-chee shouted. "If you break it I will so shave your coat you young snot!"

  "Sir," the first sergeant said.

  "Go," Captain MacDonald said. "Diplomatically, please."

  "For values of diplomacy," the first sergeant replied. "Miss Moon, I need your input. I'm reading the body language of the other armored figure as annoyance at the smaller one's antics."

  "I agree, First Sergeant Powell," Miriam said, grinning over the video link. "The younger one is acting a bit like, well, a headstrong young nobleman. And the larger would be either his father or a senior retainer."

  "Yes, ma'am," the first sergeant said. "That was my read as well. So. Two-Gun, can you get the sword away from that local? Without harming him?"

  Lady Che-chee didn't want to make the situation any worse by approaching. No matter how diplomatic you were about it, being approached by an armored Mother was intimidating. But she realized she was simply going to have to go over and stop the young idiot before he got someone killed.

  Just as she was about to step off, one of the armored figures solved the situation for her. It reached over and first took Cha-chai's wrist in its claw, firmly but not violently. It was apparent, however, from her son's struggles that it was an immovable hold. Then the armored figure took away her son's sword. He handed it to the leader, gently and carefully, then fumbled for a moment and removed her son's helmet.

  Afraid that he was going to kill her headstrong son, Lady Che-chee drew her sword and lifted into the air. But before she could even approach, the figure simply held the helmet in one hand and closed the hand, turning the helm of finest Mee-reean steel into a lump.

  Then he handed the lump back, respectfully. The sword followed.

  "Mother," Cha-chai yelled, hovering his chak-chak. "I believe they wish to speak to you."

  Berg watched as one of the servants stepped over to the case and, after fumbling with the closure, looked inside. His chittering was unintelligible but he was definitely excited and Berg noticed him slip one of the gems into the belt that was his only clothing.

  The gems were "real." They were manufactured gemstones, virtually worthless on Earth but indistinguishable from the real thing. There were also some small bars of gold. Gems and gold might or might not have local value. They'd have to see.

  The helmetless local swooped down and reached into the case, removing one of the sapphires. He looked over at Jaen and chittered something, tossing the gem in the air.

  "Mother," Cha-chai called. "I do believe my promotion is paid for. As are my gambling debts."

  "What?" Lady Che-chee said. "All of them? Bring it over here."

  Cha-chai and the gamesman brought the chest over and she looked in it and nodded.

  "Tribute," she said. "But for what? Ruining my lawn? Or the endless trouble their presence is going to cause? Surely not to prevent us attacking them. Nothing we own could damage that ship; even rocks from a trebuchet would do nought much more than dent it."

  Two more of the suits of armor were descending in the glass room. How any glass, though, could support the weight of those suits was beyond her. However, they stepped out and walked over, passing the threesome who then redeployed to either side and slightly back. Bodyguards, then. She supposed it was wise to send guards first in a situation where you knew nothing of the locals. She could overlook the insult and it was not as if they were even beginning to treat with each other. Sumar knows she had done enough reconnaissance of enemy positions in her time.

  The two new suits, which were colored a sky blue with a black dome on top, stopped a few paces from her. Then she got the shock of her life as the suits opened up along an nearly invisible seam and two of the occupants stepped out, causing a great shout amongst her retainers.

  She, everyone, had been expecting Cheerick. But they were not! Except upon the head of one they were furless. Shiny black bodies, like sgraga that caught in the fur! No, those were clothes. Close fitting and showing odd lumps like large pustules on the chest of the smaller one! Their legs moved oddly. Their faces were so flat! They were revolting!

  But she quelled her urge to vomit at the sight as the larger, nearly furless, one turned to the rear of the armor and began removing gear. She had thought it might be more presents, but it was not. A cuirass of some strange gray metal, a helmet of same, a harness. She caught a glimpse of ropy scars as the clothing moved aside. A warrior. So who was the smaller?

  When the warrior was properly armed, the smaller came forward and made a strange arm movement. It was similar to one the island tribes used, a sign of parley.

  "Lady Che-chee," the smaller one said, her small nose twitching. "Know language not. Learn must."

  "You are the interpreter," Lady Che-chee said, her ears twitching in agreement. "I would speak with your mistress."

  "Would speak . . ." The interpreter paused. "Understanding not." The rest was an unintelligible squeak that had, yes, the lilt of the islands.

  "I would speak to your leader," Lady Che-chee said. "I would speak to your lord. I would speak to your master. I would speak to your mistress."

  "Lady Che-chee speak master," the interpreter said, pointing to her head. "Master speak, I speak."

  "She has a demon in her!" Cha-chai shouted.

  "Silence!" Lady Che-chee shouted. "You will not shame me by this display. All but my armsmen, return to your duties!

  "Now, interpreter, what is your name?" Lady Che-chee asked.

  "Miriam, Lady Che-chee."

  "Mrn-mreem," Lady Che-chee said. "Your master here."

  "Master there," Miriam said, pointing at the ship. "Speak me, speak him."

  "Why will he not come out and treat with us properly?" Cha-chai said angrily.

  "Not know say," Miriam said. "Master ship. Not come out."

  "I will not treat with an inferior," Lady Che-chee said bluntly. "Get your ship off my lawn."

  "Wait," Miriam said, holding her hand to her head. "Wait."

  "She refuses to talk to me," Miriam said. "Very proper, seems to know what she's doing, she's negotiated before. But she's unwilling to talk to an inferior. Probably because she's negotiated before."

  "Try to get more language," the CO said, looking around at the command staff. "Try to explain that I cannot exit the ship. I don't even have a Wyvern, which is something that needs to be changed. Tell her that I will send a senior deputy."

  "I guess I'd better go get my Wyvern on," Weaver said, standing up.

  "Captain MacDonald, you go, too," Spectre said. "Take Top as well."

  "Yes, sir."

  "Lady Che-chee," Miriam said. "Talk others? Language learn? Explain?"

  "I will permit that," she said, looking at her son. "Cha-chai . . . No. Sreen!"

  "Madame?" the footman said imperturbably. As long as it wasn't Demons, he was fine.

  "Talk with this one," she said imperiously. "And bring me a drink and a chair. I'm getting too old to stand around in armor all day. A solid chair."

  "So far, so good," Jaen said. "Okay, let's get 360 security here."

  "Got it," Berg said, turning in position. "The only major emissions are from those flying board things and the ship. Nice place. I'd love to swim in that lake."

  "Probably got crabpus in it," Hatt said. "How's the pow-wow going?"

  "Looks okay," Jaen said. "I can almost follow the pantomime. That Miss Moon's some actress."

  "She's some lady," Hatt said. "Nice voice, too."

  "I sure as hell can't make some of those sounds," Jaen said. "Squeak, eak! Rats. Why'd it have to be rats?"

  "Chinchillas," Berg corrected. "Miss Moon said they're more like chinchillas. Think of them that way. Or giant hamsters."

  "Whatever."

  "Commander Weaver," the CO said over the radio link. "You are not permitted out of armor."

  "Understood, sir," Weaver said as the elevator opened. "Wasn't planning on it."


  "Hey, Miller," he added as he approached the pow-wow. "How's it going?"

  "Pretty good, I think," Miller said, standing stolidly. If he was noticing the chill he didn't show it, but they'd brought coats for both him and Miriam. Miriam was definitely noticing it in the thin body suit. She was shivering and it was beginning to affect her speech.

  Weaver handed over the coats, then stood by Miriam.

  "Okay, I'll see if this will work," Miriam said, her teeth chattering. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome," Weaver said over the external speaker.

  Miriam shrugged on the long, down coat, then turned up the heater.

  "Sreee," Miriam said in Cheerick. "Commander William Weaver. Commander Beeel, shiny. Third officer of ship. Only officer has armor." Miriam tapped that.

  "And must have armor to exit ship," Sreee said. "You don't have armor. Why?"

  "Dangers," Miriam said. "Law. Must have special cleaning if no armor. Commander Beeel no leave armor. Speak for commander. Friend to our queen. High lord."

  "This one no armor," Sreee said, pointing at Miller.

  "Crazy-brave warrior," Miriam said. "Does cleaning, too. Cleaning very long. Many days."

  "I will speak to my mistress."

  "They have a law that they cannot leave the ship without armor, mistress," Sreee said. "Only the interpreter and her guard as I understand it may be without armor. And they must undergo special cleaning. One of the new people is their third officer, the highest officer who has armor. He sounds as if he is an officer from their court, a friend of their queen."

  "Their lord has no armor?" Cha-chai interjected. "Can he not afford it?"

  "He has paid for his commission to this ship," Lady Che-chee said. "I guess he sold it."

  "They somehow speak to their commander," Sreee said. "I do not understand how. When I ask she points at her ear or her head, as if she hears voices. It may be they speak mind to mind."

  "No," Lady Che-chee said, standing up. "The new one, he spoke aloud through the armor. It is their magic. Very well, I will speak to him and through him to their commander. Ask them, first, if their magic permits their commander's voice to at least be heard."

  "Yeah, we can do that," Weaver said, looking at his controls. "No, I can't. This suit isn't equipped for retrans! Jaen."

  "Sir?"

  "I need one of your team over here, stat," Weaver said. "Smart one."

  "Two-Gun," Jaen said. "You're up."

  Berg walked over quickly and took up a position by Miss Moon.

  "Set your system to retrans to the ship," Commander Weaver said. "Channel Four. The CO's going to use it to speak."

  "Yes, sir," Berg said, dropping his glove and hitting the controls rapidly. "Set, sir."

  "Good man. . . ."

  "Hello, Chic-chic-tic Che-chee," the CO enunciated carefully. "I am Captain Steven Blankemeier of the Alliance Space Ship Vorpal Blade and I greet you in peace in the name of the Human-Adar Alliance."

  "Whooo," he added, leaning back from the command table. "One small step and all that . . ."

  "Yes, sir," the XO said. "But I think you got your lines right."

  "Those are the words of my commander," Miriam said, pointing at the suit. "He speaks through this."

  "Not the one in the suit?" Lady Che-chee asked suspiciously.

  "No, lady," Miriam replied. "Would one of your servitors pretend to be you?"

  "No," Lady Che-chee said. "Very well. Captain Beeela . . . Captain. What are your intentions, here?"

  "To make peaceful contact with your people," Miriam said, translating the captain's words. "We are explorers. We are not conquerors and wish nothing but peaceful relations. We have enemies, in other places, and we seek their location. But we will not bring our war to you. Nor do we ask for soldiers or support."

  "That's good," Lady Che-chee said, flicking her ears. "We have wars enough aplenty. I am not a high leader of my people. I must bring word to my queen that emissaries have arrived. I must warn you, this will cause turmoil. There is much of which we must speak but I will do so through your interpreter and your officer. Thank you for your courtesy in speaking to me directly."

  "I wish I could meet with you in person," Miriam translated. "But I am not allowed by our laws."

  "So I understand," Lady Che-chee said. "Sreee, conduct Miriam and Commander Beeel to . . ." She looked at the armor and blanched at the damage it would do to the floors. Not to mention that it couldn't get through any door but the main one. On the other hand, their visit gifts would more than pay for the damage.

  "Conduct them to the Great Hall. Bring food and drink. And get Trik-trik ready to get me out of this damned armor."

  "They have eaten and drunk nothing, mistress," Sreee said as Lady Che-chee entered the Great Hall.

  The hall had once been the center of manor life and still had the antique sleeping niches that had been comfort in elder times. Now it was mainly used for large balls. She had managed to avoid hosting many of those but she was fairly sure that had just changed. However, depending on how this fell out, her status was either going to be raised enormously at Court or she was about to lose her head. She'd dealt with the promise of both problems before, however. And a chest of jewels and gold was certainly going to help.

  "You do not care for our food?" she asked, approaching the table.

  "I wish I could," Miriam said. "But we are not Cheerick. It is poison to us. I can drink plain water. That, too, is possibly poison, but one that our chirurgeon can mend."

  "Sreee," Che-chee said. "Bring some of the boiled campaign water."

  "That would be perfect," Miriam said. "That I can drink. I mean no offense. You said something about the water. Aseek. You know of poisons in unboiled water?"

  "Yes," Lady Che-chee said. "Unboiled water can cause terrible disease on campaign. Also it can make plagues worse. I only drink boiled water, wine, or water with brandy. All three prevent illness much of the time. This is ancient knowledge and much of that is wrong. But this I have tested in my time and find to be true."

  "Ancient knowledge?" Miriam asked. "Knowledge handed down from old times? Is this things old Mothers speak of or written records?"

  "Some of both," Lady Che-chee said. "And it is that of which we must speak. Your armor is invulnerable to our weapons, that is plain. But be aware that there may be great anger about you and your ship. We have legends and some fragments regarding great ships of metal and even metal things that walk and talk as Cheerick. But the Demons follow them."

  "I hope that we do not bring them," Miriam said.

  "Actually, you're late," Lady Che-chee said ambiguously.

  "We first spoke to the island people," Miriam said.

  "I thought as much," Lady Che-chee said. "Your arm motion, that is an island people gesture. Go on."

  "They, too, spoke of the Demons," Miriam said. "What are the Demons?"

  "This is not well known," Lady Che-chee said. "But if your armored people will allow you to accompany me deeper into the manor, I will show you something of them. Your 'crazy-brave' guard may accompany you."

  "She wants to show me something deeper in the castle," Miriam said. "Something about these demons they keep talking about. They have the same legend. I don't think the armor will fit. She says that Chief Miller can come with me."

  "Go," Bill said. "By the time anything gets by Miller we'll be there."

  * * *

  The room that they were led to was at the very back of the castle. The lintel of the door was very low, so low Miller had to near get on his knees, as did Lady Che-chee.

  Miller paused as he started to go through and frowned.

  "What the hell are those?" he asked, pointing to marks above the door.

  "Demon claws," Lady Che-chee said, without asking for translation. "That is what I wished to show you."

  "Damn," Miller said after the words were translated. The gouges in the limestone were nearly finger deep and nearly as wide. He could fit a finger most of the way down.<
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  "Yes," Lady Che-chee said, apparently getting the context. "Inside I will show you more."

  The room was small but well-lit by candles and lined with . . . bits. There was a tapestry, some metal workings, some pieces of armor. The latter, made of heavy bronze, were torn to shreds.