Angels at Mons

by Carl Leckey

  I fall asleep drunk as a Lord in an Officer’s bed this is certainly a new experience for me.

  I dream about the 1914 truce Sandy related to me when the enemies stopped fighting, swapped presents, sang Hymns and even played football in no man’s land. I dream about the time when we had a decent Officer and NCO’s. I dream about Angels with Denise’s face, finally I wake up with a start as my sweet dreams turn into a nightmare about poor Tommy.

  It’s really weird as there is no sound of war; instead I hear the clatter of equipment and the hum of voices. Rolling out of the bunk and attempting to stand upright I totter slightly and have to grip the bunk bars and steady myself. My head throbs and my stomach feels decidedly queasy. I remember the rum I have consumed, never again I vow if this is what it feels like in the morning.

  This is my first hangover. God it is awful, how long does it last I wonder as I creep to the bunker entrance barefoot? Listening with bated breath I identify the voices as English. Jubilantly I dive back inside and awaken Toot and Harry.

  Together Toot and I step out into the trench to greet a group of Labour Corp men I don’t know. Picks, shovels, and sheet steel are being passed down from above. Four of the men immediately begin collecting the bodies and passing them up to their mates topside. I can’t get any sense out of them when I enquire. “What’s it like getting to the road?”

  An Engineer Sergeant drops into the trench, we approach him.

  “Are you the ambulance lads?” He asks.

  “Well us two are, he’s the company clerk.” Toot indicates Harry emerging from the bunker. “Your station has been trying to contact you on the telephone. You are to make your way back to your ambulance right away. A recovery vehicle has been dispatched to tow you back to your base.”

  We chat to the Sergeant about the situation until food and drink arrives and he invites us to share their breakfast of hot porridge and tea from thermoses. I never really liked the porridge the Scots lads ate but this is very tasty with lashings of condensed milk stirred into it.

  Harry returns to the bunker and re emerges a few minutes later.

  “The telephones are out Sarg, no wonder they couldn’t contact us the cannon fire must have broken the wire.”

  “What time did you last have contact?” The Sergeant asks.

  Harry waffled in confusion and does not offer a proper answer.

  “Your base reckons they lost contact about midnight.” The Sergeant adds with a wink. “I hope you logged the time you lost contact Corporal, you know the rules?”

  Harry dives immediately back into the bunker. We share his breakfast say goodbye to Harry and climb hesitantly onto the surface.

  How the situation has changed in twenty-four hours. Labour Corp men are collecting corpses and recovering discarded weapons from the area where only yesterday an intense battle took place.

  Lines of grey faced shocked prisoners, many no older than me stretch away towards the new front line and on towards the rear. Some carry wounded comrades on stretchers other support the lame as they limp towards captivity. Now and again a German shell from a long-range gun comes over to explode, leaving yet another crater in the pock marked battlefield.

  Showers of mud and water interspersed with debris and body parts fountains upward to cascade earthward with an enormous splosh where the shell explodes.

  The inexperienced amongst the workers frantically dive for cover in mud filled shell holes despite the orders of NCO’s to continue with their tasks. They only returned sheepishly and mud caked when they are certain all is safe. The old sweats laugh at their discomfort, after years of dodging enemy fire they more or less know if an incoming shell threatens them.

  The steady stream of dejected POW’s ignore the shelling as they plod to the rear of the British lines without many guards considering the numbers but none of them look capable of making a run for it.

  So this is the famous fearsome German Army I have heard so much about? I’d seen prisoners before at the station but never in such numbers. The poor bewildered buggers look no different than our lads except for their uniforms. I feel a pang of sorrow for them until I remember the carnage they wrought on the ambulance and the casualties yesterday.

  British stretcher-bearers carry casualties quite openly across the shell-scarred wilderness, only yesterday they would have been excellent targets for the enemy snipers. It is hard to imagine the area before warfare came here. Piles of bricks and rubble are the only indication of where farmhouses had been previously located. I wonder where have the farmers gone, and how will they will ever get the landscape back to normal? That’s if and when the war ever ends?

  As we hurry to the pickup point we pass the hull of a wrecked tank, a group of engineers work on another abandoned tank nearby. Evidently the monsters are not as indestructible as I thought after all.

  Then I notice something peculiar, the birds have returned, I point this wonder out to Toot.

  “Ah! Lad. Mother nature is a wonderful healer. Have you noticed the wild flowers growing in the weirdest places? You should see the poppies when they come out, magic they are.” Toot informs me wistfully. “They reckon everyone that blossoms represents the blood of a fallen soldier. Hey Scouse maybe your Angels have something to do with it?”

  We pass the communication trench where we sheltered yesterday. The engineers and Labour Corp are busy rebuilding the fortifications. I note the heap of German Corpses that once propped up the trench wall are heaped up like so many discarded logs. These are the very same dead soldiers that gave me such a fright when they unexpectedly joined my birthday party. Artillery pieces are being relocated closer to the front line dragged through the mud by teams of steaming horses urged on by cursing gunners.

  As we make our way passed the remains of the church, my guardian Angel still remains in splendid isolation amongst the chaos.

  Finally we reach the sunken road beside the graveyard wall, amazingly the horrors we witnessed hanging in the tree are gone. However a heap of bodies still remain where the stretcher-bearers and casualties had been killed by the blast. A horse drawn wagon is still in the process of loading the corpses from the battle. Lines of motorised and horse drawn ambulances intermingled with the supply trucks. Others stand idle waiting to have their cargoes unloaded, while others loaded with casualties and Corpses make their way to the rear.

  A mobile field kitchen is serving hot food to a line of troops, peace and normality reign after the appalling events of yesterday, where the direct hit destroyed the ambulance yesterday the Labour Corp lads are filling in the crater.

  As Toot and I survey the frantic scene of activity we both see it together. The ambulance back onto its wheels it has been pushed onto the field at the side of the road. Toot rushes over and lovingly examines the vehicle. I laugh as he behaves like a doting mother when her child has been injured in a fall. He gave me his expert opinion.

  “The old girls not in bad nick Scouse considering what she’s been through.” I observe the ambulance is battered on the passenger side where it rolled over. The driver’s side is as good as new except for blood stains and pieces of clinging flesh.

  I recall the horror I experienced yesterday when I leaned against the ambulance roof, a shudder passes through my body. Heavy snow begins to fall and we climb into the back of the ambulance for shelter.

  The food thermoses are still there piled in a jumble on one side so I set about tidying them into an orderly stack. After completing this task I take a seat on the bottom stretcher bench and remark.

  “I reckon them poor bloody stretcher bearers never got their hot food after all eh Toot? Wonder what happened to them?”

  Toot doesn’t reply, instead he sits thoughtfully for a few minutes sucking on his unlit pipe. Abruptly he stands and orders.

  “Right let’s check the engine oil and petrol, it’s time you and me lad got ourselves back in the game.”

  Toot and I are underneath the ambulance checking the gearbox and axle oils when we hear a voi
ce.

  “What the bleedin Hell you doing under there you daft pair of bleeders.” Sam kicks my outstretched foot and I scramble out from underneath, Toot informs me. “The oil is ok and hasn’t leaked through the seals.”

  As he drags himself from underneath on the other side Toot says admiringly. “These are fine trucks the Yanks can sure put a good vehicle together.”

  “Looks like I’ve got to get you out the shit again you old bleeder.”

  Sam laughs as he confronts my mate. “I’m sure glad to see you two are still alive, I thought you were goners when I saw that bleedin great hole in the road and the mess hanging up in the tree. It was Jake here that spotted your vehicle lying on its side. You pair are lucky bleeders no doubt about that.”

  Toots old pal Sam and his mate Jake shake hands with us. They are both evidently pleased to see us still alive and kicking. We unload the engine oil, petrol, and water from Sam’s truck and feed them into our vehicle. Sam hitches a tow rope between vehicles and gives us a short pull until our engine cracked into life. Toot smiles with relief, pats the steering wheel and says affectionately. “I love this old girl.”

  Rather than waste ambulance space and return to the station as ordered empty we load casualties and head back.

  On arrival after an easy journey we run into unexpected trouble.

  Chapter twenty-three

  On a charge

  A message waits for us when we report to our NCO after unloading the casualties. “The Adjutant wants to see you two urgently.”

  I nervously inquire. “What’s it all about?” but get no reply.

  Toot informs him. “There are lots more casualties back at the pickup, can’t we see him later?”

  The Sergeant replies with unusual hardness in his voice.

  “You will report to the Adjutant right now soldier, he has got a bee in his bonnet about something.” More sympathetically he adds. “You best get it over with Toot, you know what those so and so’s are like. I’ve had that bloody prick of an Adjutant on my back all day?”

  “Can we go in the ambulance then get straight off for more casualties?” Toot requests.

  “I reckon not lads until we know what it is all about don’t use the vehicle.”

  We make our way on foot to where the station HQ used to be located in the farmhouse. As we walk I ask Toot if he have any idea what it will be about. Toot replies I suspect with false expectancy.

  “Maybe they are going to give us a medal Scouse. You never know in this Army, stranger things have happened.”

  Of course the farmhouse no longer exists and we haven’t a clue where HQ is now located. One of the nurses gives us directions as she passes on the way to her tent line. “HQ and the senior Officers are now situated in the underground caves. Not soft are they?” She adds as she leaves us without waiting for our reply.

  This information really annoys me the fact that the bastards are taking up space underground. This is safe space the wounded should be occupying. Yet the Nurses still have to risk their lives from the air raids living in tents on the surface this makes me doubly angry.

  “To think I found the caves for these arseholes to hide out in.” I rant on angrily as we make our way to the new HQ.

  They have been busy since I did my stint as a patient in there. I observe more chambers have been cut out of the sandstone by the Sappers. In these underground sanctuaries the Officers quarter and HQ administrations office are now located. Nearby the Sappers are working on yet more diggings.

  Painted on the wall inside a tunnel are arrows guiding us to the orderly office, we enter to be greeted by a typical Sergeant Major bulled up to the eyeballs. The cave is brightly illuminated by a batch of Tilley lamps. At first sight of him I foresee trouble ahead. He takes one look at our bedraggled appearance and goes berserk.

  “What’s is your names? You horrible scruffy individuals and what the bleedin Hell are you doing here?”

  We reply with our names and numbers, Toot explains the reason why we are there.

  I am too terrified to speak, he inspects us in detail.

  “‘How dare you come into these ear Hoffices to see an Hofficer dressed like two bloody scarecrows. I’ve never seen anything like it in my whole life.”

  In about five seconds he has the two of us on about ten charges. After the idiot finished screaming he ignored us and made sure the office clerk has noted all of our misdemeanours.

  “Ah!” A look of evil satisfaction adorns his ugly face as he reads from a sheet of paper the clerk hands him.

  “AWOL. Desertion in the face of the enemy. Leaving your post without permission. Deficient of one Army issue ambulance. My! My! You naughty boys have been busy haven’t you? On top of all your other criminal activities you have the audacity to come in here polluting my air with your stink, and dropping filth all over my nice clean hoffice.”

  He leans forward until his face nearly touches mine. He informs me cheerfully. “You’ll be lucky if you’re not shot you little turd when the Officer has dealt with you.”

  By then I am visibly trembling. Toot seems to take it all in his stride and stands nonchalantly to attention. I note the bully concentrates his venom on me. Maybe being an old soldier has its good points.

  The clerk looks on sympathetically, with a swish a curtain is drawn back leading to an inner cave. The Adjutant pokes his head out.

  “Bring em in Sergeant Major.” He promptly withdraws. We are marched in at the double quick time by the lunatic Sergeant Major. His shouting is not helping my hangover my head still pounding with the effects of the rum.

  The Adjutant sits behind his desk he returns our salute then unexpectedly says. “Right chaps stand at ease and relax, Sergeant Major you may wait outside.” When the NCO has left the Adjutant congratulates us on our deeds over the previous day and night.

  “I have had a telephonic conversation with a front line Colonel Con, Er something. My clerk has his full name I’m sure, never quite caught the chaps name, myself, bad line you know? He contacted me to congratulate me on the quality of the men in my command.” The Major preens himself.

  “I am aware this station was run in a very slipshod undisciplined manner before I arrived on the scene, but this proves my methods have paid off.” He broke off suddenly, consults his watch and dismisses us.

  “Well done chaps you are a credit to my unit.” As we were about to leave he informs me. “You er, laddie. I have approved your application to be a driver. Just fill in the form the clerk has for you on your way out.”

  So that is it, Toot and I leave wondering what it was all about, thankfully there is no sign of the Sergeant Major in the outer cave. I go to the clerk’s desk he greets me and pushes a form across the desk.

  “Just stick your Monica on the bottom. You can do that can’t you?”

  This will be my big test. I’ve been practising writing my signature ever since Toot began tutoring me. The clerk looks around furtively.

  “I’ve filled in the rest of it for you to save time.” He winks and whispers.

  “I had a peep at your records, seen you couldn’t read or write.” I thank him as I laboriously sign my signature. He replies.

  “Sod em, sometimes the little man wins. I tell you what? Harry is in good form eh, he fooled that silly sod eh? Ha, ha. Us clerks must look out for each other.” Toot drops a tin of tobacco on his desk and asks.

  “What about the charges the big bastard put us on?”

  “Forget it.” The clerk replies. “By the time I tell him you are the Adjutants blue eyed boys he will drop all that crap, he’s off now chasing some other poor bastards for not lining the Corpses up neatly the silly sod. Don’t worry. I know how to handle the arrogant bugger.”

  We thank him again and leave. When we clear the underground system Toot says. “Bit of advice Scouse. It pays to always keep in with the company clerk. They are the power behind the throne and can work miracles with records and other things.”

  I must say I am a bit chuf
fed at the way things have turned out and tell Toot so.

  “What about that Major fella telephoning about us then? We never even saw a Major. I wonder what all that is all about?”

  Toot laughs. “I knew you never understood by the look on your face when that bloody fool was talking. It was Harry that telephoned, that is an old trick we used years ago. Major Con is short for a Major confidence trick. Ha-ha!”

  Back at the depot the Sergeant is relieved when we relate what has happened.

  “It sounded a bit different this morning when he spoke to me. I thought he is going to have you two shot for leaving the ambulance and staying away from base all night without permission.” Toot and I exchange knowing looks.

  With a smile the Sergeant announces. “Now for the good news. Toot I’m recommending you for promotion, you are the senior soldier here after me and should be taking more responsibilities.” Toot protests. He always refused to take responsibility for anyone except his own ambulance and his second man. The Sergeant holds up his hand hushing his protests.

  “You will accept promotion and like it, your wife and kids will be glad of the extra money, have you thought of that?”

  Toot finally agrees with a resigned air. The Sergeant turns to me next.

  “I am really short of drivers and your paperwork is in the pipeline Scouse. Is he ready to drive an ambulance on his own Toot?” My mate confirms my ability without any doubts.

  “Toot you and Sam are to go back to Le Havre to bring two new vehicles from the docks. I’ll get you to the railway station in the morning you can travel with the wounded. Scouse you need to find yourself a second man. Oh. You mentioned a couple of your mates wanting to transfer to transport?” I agree and inform him of Billy and Dave’s names.

  The Sergeant asks me. “Will you check and see if they still want to move in with us and I’ll arrange the transfer right away. Toot the mechanics have confirmed, your ambulance is fit for duty. Finish doing today’s runs. Scouse takes over your vehicle from tomorrow. Oh. By the way the engineers have arranged a different pick up point closer to the new front line from tomorrow, they’ll show you the new position when you get up there. Off you go and get cleaned up and make sure you get some hot food into yourselves before you move off.”