Rainbird's Revenge: HFTS6

by M C Beaton

  “Eh wish you would not look at me lahk thet,” said Joseph in his mincing and affected voice. “I h’ain’t responsible for the fect we’re all indoors on the bestest day this year. Lizzie, why don’t you esk Rainbird to let us go to the perk and sail Angus’s boat?”

  “I can’t,” said Lizzie. “You know we’re all waiting for the duke.”

  “We’ve waited and waited,” said Joseph crossly. “Eh’m sick and tired of waiting.”

  “What’s to do?” asked Rainbird, the butler, emerging from the backstairs.

  “Eh want to go to the perk and sail Angus’s boat,” said Joseph sulkily. “This here duke ain’t going to come,” he added, his refined accents slipping. “We’ve waited every day and still he don’t come. We won’t get another day like this one, not for a long time.”

  Lizzie waited for Rainbird to curtly order the footman to go about his duties, but instead the butler looked wistfully up at the sunlight sparkling through the fanlight over the door.

  “I wish we could go, Joseph,” said Rainbird. “But we must impress the Duke of Pelham with our honesty, diligence, and good character, and we are not going to do that by being absent when he arrives.”

  “If he ever arrives,” said Joseph crossly.

  Rainbird stood lost in thought. He was a well-set-upman in his forties, with an acrobat’s body and a comedian’s face. Even when he was sad, he seemed to be laughing at some private joke.

  “We could,” said the butler slowly, “always send Dave round to Palmer’s office to ask if the duke is arriving today. Palmer doesn’t know Dave, so he’ll think he’s just a messenger boy. Then, if Palmer happens to know by now the exact time of his grace’s arrival—and if it’s not today—then we can go.”

  “Huzza!” cried Joseph, capering with delight, and then letting out a shriek as his tortured feet protested.

  Dave ran all the way to Holborn. Palmer studied the note from Rainbird. Then he smiled. It was obvious the duke had not gone straight to Clarges Street, and with any luck, he might catch the servants leaving. He pulled forward a sheet of paper, scribbled a note to the effect that the Duke of Pelham was not expected in London for two more days, sanded it, and handed it to Dave.

  A bare two streets away, the duke browsed in the cool depths of a bookshop. He had meant to go directly to Clarges Street, but a display of all the latest books had drawn him down from his carriage.

  Dave’s news was greeted at 67 Clarges Street with cries of delight. Rainbird and Joseph thankfully changed out of their hot livery, Angus prepared a cold picnic lunch, and then all of them—looking for all the world like a family—set out along Clarges Street, crossed Piccadilly, and plunged into the cool shade of the Green Park.

  Miss Jenny Sutherland sat in the bumping, swaying travelling carriage that was conveying her to London and hoped she would not be sick. Once Lady Letitia had made up her mind to go to Town, she had bustled about at anenormous rate. Jenny did not know that what had finally driven Lady Letitia into frenzied action was her, Jenny’s, highly coloured account of what she had said to the Duke of Pelham. Lady Letitia was now afraid she had brought up a girl with neither breeding nor manners. Town bronze was what Jenny desperately needed. It was a godless age, so there was no one to advise Lady Letitia that her charge needed bronzing inside rather than out, and a lecture on humility from the vicar might have done a better job.

  They were to stay with a friend of Lady Letitia’s mother—“Goodness, can anyone that old be still alive?” Jenny had marvelled. Mrs. Freemantle was their London hostess’s name. Lady Letitia explained that Mrs. Freemantle had never ceased from pestering her to go on a visit, and so she had sent that lady an express heralding their arrival. There was no need to waste time waiting for a reply.

  Unknown to them, they nearly met the Duke of Pelham on the road. The duke had broken his journey to stay with an army friend outside London and was just setting out again on the London road as Lady Letitia’s carriage bowled past. He was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice the occupants, and Lady Letitia and Jenny were both asleep and so did not mark him either.

  As Jenny already possessed a very modish wardrobe, there had been nothing to delay the ladies from setting out.

  Jenny became more and more excited as London drew nearer. She thought often of the horrible Duke of Pelham. She dreamt of being an outstanding success at what was left of the Season, she dreamt of the duke falling in love with her, and her best fantasy was the one where he got down on his knees in front of her to beg her hand in marriage, and she coldly spurned him.

  Her heart as yet untouched, Jenny saw marriage onlyas an ambitious project. One looked for the best and the richest, and that was what one married. To be the envy of every other female in London was surely the sole goal in life. Armoured in beauty, Jenny longed to taste success, for the duke’s snub still rankled.

  London might seem a dirty, noisy place to some after the lush green coolness of the summer country, but as their carriage entered the busy streets, Jenny already loved everything about it: the noise, the tumult, the light carriages darting here and there like so many dragonflies skimming the choppy waters of society, the haughty ladies dressed in the bare minimum, and the strutting gentlemen with their absurdly nipped-in waists and painted faces.

  “Where does Mrs. Freemantle reside?” she asked her aunt.

  “Clarges Street,” said Lady Letitia. “Number Seventy-one.”

  “And is she a pleasant lady?”

  “Very. Although I have not seen her this age. Mind your manners, Jenny.”

  “I am always polite, Aunt Letitia.”

  “You have a distressing way of not listening or paying attention to anyone,” said Lady Letitia sharply. “You are too wrapped up in your own appearance. There are many beautiful women in London. You will need to try to charm and please for the first time in your life. Looks are not enough on their own.”

  To Lady Letitia’s extreme irritation, Jenny merely gave a self-satisfied little smile, as if not believing a word of it.

  The carriage rumbled along Piccadilly and then was slowly reduced to a crawl in the press of traffic. The day was hot and sunny. Jenny let down the glass and leaned out.

  “It all looks so carefree,” she said over her shoulderto her aunt. “Oh, look, there is a family sailing the most wonderful boat on the reservoir in the park. Are they allowed to do that? Is it not drinking water?”

  “The water in London is so filthy, I do not suppose one boat will make much difference,” said Lady Letitia. “That reservoir had a dead dog floating in it the last time I was in Town.”

  “They do seem to be enjoying themselves,” said Jenny wistfully. She noticed the women of the party, with the exception of one stout older one, were in their bare feet. A tall young man had taken off his shoes and stockings and waded into the reservoir to rescue the boat, which had sailed out of reach. As she watched, he slipped and fell with an almighty splash. A park warden was hurrying towards the group, shouting in outrage. With a jerk, the carriage moved on and turned into Clarges Street, and the little tableau was lost to view.

  Jenny looked down at the cool folds of her exquisitely frilled and flounced muslin gown. She had never gone barefoot or run about the fields. She did not even know what it was like to get her feet wet—outside of the bathtub, that is. She reminded herself sternly that beauties such as herself owed it to the world to protect and maintain an immaculate appearance. “Those women will probably be dreadfully sunburnt,” she said, half to herself.

  “We are arrived,” said Lady Letitia. “Remember, now, Jenny. Best manners and best behaviour!”

  “Of course,” said Jenny crossly.

  The carriage rolled to a stop. Lady Letitia’s groom let down the carriage steps and Jenny alighted after her aunt.

  What an odd-looking housekeeper! was Jenny’s first thought when she saw the fantastic figure on the steps. It was that of a tall, thin woman, dressed in rusty black and with a limp muslin cap droo
ping over her long, horselike features. She had a great bunch of keys hanging from a chain at her waist and her muslin apron was spotted with egg stains.

  “Letitia,” cried this odd creature who, to Jenny’s horror, ran down the steps and enfolded Lady Letitia in a warm embrace.

  “Agnes, how well you look!” exclaimed Lady Letitia. “Jenny, make your curtsy. This is Mrs. Freemantle. Agnes, my niece, Jenny.”

  Mrs. Freemantle smiled at Jenny, baring a row of strong yellow teeth.

  “Ain’t you the prettiest creature that ever was!” boomed Mrs. Freemantle in a deep bass voice. “Quite like a fairy. Come in out of the heat. Tea! You must have tea.”

  Jenny followed her aunt and Mrs. Freemantle into the house.

  The front parlour with its windows over the street was like a museum. Everything seemed to be in glass cases: stuffed animals, glass flowers, gilt clocks, figurines—all entombed in glittering glass. A vase of dusty peacock’s feathers filled the cold fireplace, and lying about on a very fine Persian carpet were chunks of masonry—bases of antique pillars and headless busts. The very finding of a seat was like an obstacle race, thought Jenny, picking her way around and over objects.

  How shall I ever meet any ton people, thought Jenny dismally, with such a patroness?

  Lady Letitia was rattling along at a great rate about people Jenny did not know or had never heard about—mainly because she had never listened to anything Lady Letitia had said in the past that did not directly concern herself.

  An elderly butler came in, bowed under the weight of a great silver tray holding teapot, hot water, milk, sugar loaves, thin bread and butter, and plum cake.

  “Any gossip, Giles?” asked Mrs. Freemantle.

  Giles drew himself upright, a slow creaking motion, as if he were jerking loose a series of nuts and bolts. “Yes, madam,” he said. “Those strange servants from Number Sixty-seven took a boat to the park to sail it, just as if they were children. The Duke of Pelham arrived some moments ago and was in a high rage to find no one to answer the door. He has gone to his agent to get the house keys, saying loudly he meant to horse-whip every servant personally when he found them.”

  “Isn’t Giles marvellous?” shouted Mrs. Freemantle in her loud voice. “Much better than the social columns any day. That will be all, Giles.”

  Jenny was shaken. Lady Letitia had picked up the thread of the conversation from where she had left off and made no mention of having met the duke, that odious pompous man. She thought with wonder of that “family” she had seen in the park. They were servants! So happy and carefree, and so soon to be whipped by that monster.

  “I would like to go to my room, Mrs. Freemantle, and bathe my face,” said Jenny suddenly.

  “Of course, my child,” shouted Mrs. Freemantle. “Come back and join us when you are freshened.” She rang the bell beside her chair, an enormous brass handbell, and when Giles answered its summons, told the butler to take Miss Jenny upstairs. Jenny began to wonder if Mrs. Freemantle had any other servants.

  Giles led the way up a dark narrow staircase to the second floor and creaked open a door. Jenny’s bedroom was at the back. She took a shocked look around the cluttered, musty room with its great four-poster bed that hardly left room for anything else, thanked Giles faintly, and waited until he had left.

  As soon as he had gone, she softly opened the door and began to creep quietly down the stairs. Why Jenny, for the first time in her selfish life, should suddenly concern herself about the welfare of others would have been a mystery to her if she had paused for thought. But she did not.

  She gained the hall without meeting any servants. From behind the front parlour door came the enthusiastic roar of her hostess’s voice. Quietly, she inched open the front door and let herself out into the sunny street. Casting a nervous glance over her shoulder in case she should see the monstrous Duke of Pelham watching her, Jenny ran swiftly in the direction of the Green Park—a novelty in itself, for Jenny normally moved slowly and gracefully everywhere.

  The servants of Number 67 were spread about the grass at the edge of the reservoir eating a cold lunch. Jenny instinctively picked out Rainbird as the senior member, although he was not wearing livery.

  “Hurry!” she cried. “Your master, the Duke of Pelham, is returned. He has gone to the agent’s to get the house keys and is threatening to horse-whip all of you.”

  “Thank you, miss,” said Rainbird. “Quickly, everyone. Move!”

  Jenny had an odd longing to stay and help. But the enormity of what she had done burst over her head. She, the about-to-be toast of London, standing in the Green Park with a parcel of servants!

  She picked up her skirts and ran as fast as she could back to Mrs. Freemantle’s, pausing only to catch her breathoutside the parlour door, before smoothing down her skirts and making a decorous entrance.

  She sat quietly drinking tea, and fighting down a longing to go out on the front steps and see if she could find out what was happening.

  “I tell you, Fergus,” the duke was saying, as once more his carriage turned into Clarges Street, “these servants shall be sent packing! I have never heard of such insolence.”

  “Do not be too hasty, my lord,” murmured Fergus. “There might have been some emergency.”

  “And what emergency,” said the Duke of Pelham awfully, “could overshadow my return?”

  Fergus stifled a sigh. He often felt the duke’s overriding arrogance kept the kinder, pleasanter people and things of the world at bay.

  Number 67 was a typical London town house of the eighteenth century. It was tall, thin, and black. Two iron dogs were chained on the steps in front, normally the only ornament in the whole of its very correct façade—except for this day.

  A banner had been hung from the windows of the first floor. WELCOME HOME, YOUR GRACE, it read. The front door stood open and a trim butler in black-and-gold livery stood on the steps.

  “Looks like they are expecting you after all,” said Fergus.

  “We shall see,” said the duke. “Take the carriage down to the mews and then join me.”

  He strode up the steps and into the hall. Rainbird darted in front of him and held open the door of the front parlour.

  Wine and cakes and biscuits lay on a polished table. There were vases of roses everywhere, their summer smell mixing comfortably with homely smells of beeswax from the furniture and sugar and vinegar from the gallipots in the corners of the room.

  Rainbird bowed low and then smiled at his master. Then he snapped his fingers, and one by one the rest of the servants shuffled into the room and stood in front of the duke.

  The duke looked from one face to another. The housekeeper, Mrs. Middleton, was the first to be presented. She looked frightened to death, her rabbitlike face twitching nervously under the shadow of an enormous starched linen cap. Next came Angus MacGregor, cook, his fiery hair glinting under his skull-cap, and with almost as much arrogance in his eyes as there was in those of the duke. Joseph bowed next, a great court bow with many flourishes of a scented lace handkerchief. Next came the curtsy of a housemaid of languid blond beauty—Alice. Jenny, the chambermaid, gave a quick little bob of a curtsy. Lizzie, the scullery maid, looked up at the duke with wide soft brown eyes as if pleading for mercy. The pot boy Dave bowed and tugged his forelock, and then looked around as if wishing he could hide his wizened little cockney body under one of the tables.

  “Why were you not here when I first arrived?” asked the duke.

  “We had been working on special preparations for your grace’s arrival,” said Rainbird. “Mr. Palmer informed us you were not to be expected until the day after tomorrow. We were therefore all out shopping for trifles to add to your welcome.” He waved a hand that encompassed flowers and food and wine.

  “In future,” said the duke icily, “I expect you to be at my beck and call at all hours of the day or night. No servant is to leave the house without my express permission. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes
, your grace.”

  The duke’s icy-blue eye fell on Lizzie’s face. The little scullery maid’s eyes were swimming with frightened tears.

  For the first time in his life, the duke felt churlish.

  The banner of welcome had startled him. He had never had a welcome before. Servants were always frightened and correct when he arrived at one of his properties and never went to any special effort beyond that of their duties.

  He suddenly smiled. “I am most pleased, Rainbird, with your efforts to welcome me. I shall be dining here this evening. I now intend to change and go to my club.”

  “Yes, your grace.”

  “Now, you—Mrs. Middleton—show me to my room.”

  “Yes, your grace,” said Mrs. Middleton, her lips trembling.

  “My good woman,” said the duke, but in a gentle voice, “I shall not eat you. Lead the way.”

  Mrs. Middleton walked before him up the stairs. “I have put your grace in here,” she said, pushing open a door. “This is the largest bedroom. The dining room is next door. If your grace has guests, then there are two bedrooms prepared on the floor above.”

  The duke walked in and looked about. There were thick fleecy towels hanging by the toilet table, which boasted three different varieties of soap—Irish, Bristol, and Windsor. On a table beside the bed was an exquisite little flower arrangement of white roses and trailing fern. Onanother table in the centre of the room were spread the latest magazines, literary and sporting.

  A faint smell of lavender came from the crisp white sheets turned back on the bed.

  “I’ faith,” said the duke, “with servants such as yourself, Mrs. Middleton, a man need not search for a wife to provide a delicate and feminine touch!”

  “And you must admit,” said Mrs. Middleton later in the servants’ hall, “no servant could ask for a higher compliment.”

  “Thet Palmer!” said Joseph. “He did that deliberate, you know, telling us the duke wasn’t coming for another couple of days.”