Pendulum

by Ciara Knight

  A giggle slipped from my lips.

  “Love that sound.” Ryder nipped my earlobe.

  “What sound?”

  “You happy. Someday, we’ll go to that Resort Territory of yours,” Ryder slid his nose down the side of my neck, “where we can laugh all day.” His tongue traced the path his nose had just made. “Swim naked in that lake of yours.”

  A guard stomped along the metal grate floor and halted a few meters away. “Hey, you two. Lights out in five. Don’t make me throw you in the brig.”

  My head still spun from Ryder’s words. He gently lowered me to the ground. My knees shook, but I managed to remain upright.

  Ryder scowled.

  “Now,” the guard ordered, his face grim and determined.

  Ryder growled low in his chest then kissed my cheek. “Until later,” he whispered.

  Perhaps after our next shift, he’d find a room for us to hide away in. We’d tried at least once every week to sneak out of our quarters to meet up, but we could only risk so much. If we got caught, the captain could throw us in the brig—separate cells, of course—or jettison us, leaving us in an inflatable escape pod for my mother and her minions to find.

  A chill ran through my body. I squeezed Ryder’s hand, acknowledging I’d heard him.

  My heart and soul longed to stay with him, but my body crawled back to my quarters and entered. As I’d suspected, Raeth was already resting on her side with her eyes half-open.

  “S-Semara?”

  “Yes?” I yanked the opening of my cadet jumpsuit apart and slid it off my shoulders. “What is it?”

  “Bendar told me to s-say hi.”

  “You saw him today?” I sighed and shoved the material over my hips to the floor. My boyish shorts and tank top remained on and I tossed my uniform over the nearby chair. If there was going to be a drill, I needed my outfit close by.

  The European Neumarian Rebellion emblem caught my eye with the glint of gold in the circle surrounding and the E and R.

  Life’s funny sometimes. I’d given up the uniform of a princess—grand corsets and long swirly fabric—for an old worn rebellion jumpsuit and never once regretted it.

  Raeth yawned. “Yes. He s-said he’d meet you at breakfast in the m-morning.”

  “Great. It’s been too long since I saw him.” I loved the little guy. He was more than my first friend. He was my surrogate father. When my dad had been murdered and Mother imprisoned me on her ship, he’d cared for me, smuggled me food when she’d starved me, and bandaged my wounds after she’d tortured me.

  I slid beneath the thin sheet and scratchy blanket then pressed the luminary button to turn off the lights. “Raeth, why’d you tell Ryder about my nightmares?”

  Another yawn sounded from her side of the room. “Because he n-needs to know.”

  My patience wore thin. I was so tired of everyone trying to control me or do what they thought was best. “Why? Isn’t that my decision?”

  Footsteps raddled the walkway outside our door. Guards. Why were they always patrolling on the ship? It wasn’t like intruders could make their way on board while the ship was on the bottom of the ocean.

  The longer we stayed aboard, the more uneasy I grew.

  I listened as Raeth stretched and her metal leg hit the wall. My heart ached at the sound. If only I could have spared her the agony of Mother’s torture.

  “It’s n-not a nightmare…” Raeth’s voice faded into nothing.

  “What do you mean?” I pleaded, almost rolling out of bed to shake her awake. Why was it every time I thought Raeth was done surprising me, she’d pop out with some tidbit of information that shocked everyone. “Raeth?”

  “S-sorry. You s-screamed one night about your captivity. You remembered s-something. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a memory.”

  “Memory? About my father? What was it?” My heart pounding, I lunged up and sat on the side of my bed, anxious for what she’d tell me.

  “No. You remembered s-something about your mother. You know s-something that will help beat the queen.”

  “What are you talking about?

  A soft snore answered me.

  Chapter Three

  The scents of earth and green trees flooded me. Sounds, birds tweeting and a bubbling brook, filled the air. My fingers grasped the soft cotton material of my dress as it danced around me in the breeze. Grinning, I tipped my head back, relishing the feel of the soft gust caressing my skin as it rustled the tree leaves surrounding me.

  A calm sense of peace coated my soul. Years of fear and tension fled as I dug my toes into the soft sand and basked in the warm sunlight. Opening my eyes, I glanced at my hands. They were tiny and delicate, those of a young child. With a gleeful shriek, I skipped down the hill, giggling. A faceless man called to me from the hill above. I felt his love to the marrow of my bones and waved up to him.

  A shadow moved across the landscape, darkness invading the sky. Within seconds, it rolled over me and my heart stuttered. I couldn’t move. Sand turned to mud. It crept up to my calves, circling like a chain around my legs.

  “No. Let me go,” my youthful voice begged.

  As the dark ship landed on the other side of the hill, my father yelled, “Semara, run!”

  I couldn’t. Branches jutted out from the trees and wrapped snug around my wrists, securing me, keeping me from turning around. “Father, help me.”

  “I can’t. Only you can help us,” he said, fading from view.

  My chest tightened and twisted, as if a fist thrust inside my ribcage and yanked me from the ground. The mud cracked and fell from my legs. Tree limbs splintered. My body hurled into the sky. I flailed about, trying to grasp anything but found only cold, smooth metal.

  Struggling to breathe, my eyes flew open. A quick glance reminded me I was still in my bed aboard the Freedom.

  Dim light helped reality edge out the dream. Relief surged through me, and I collapsed back into the mattress, clutching at the frame of the bed to keep from screaming. I couldn’t let Raeth know I’d experienced another nightmare.

  Loss squeezed my heart in its merciless grip, the dream still feeling real, as if I’d relived a life-altering moment.

  I tossed the thin blanket from my body then using my top sheet, I wiped my face dry of sweat and tears. Drenched and wired, I swung my legs over the side, the soles of my feet pressed against the cool floor.

  Raeth sighed and turned over. The night luminary cast a glow over her face. She still remained asleep…or allowed me to think she was. Either way, it was a relief. I loathed talking about the dreams, especially when they were so fresh and my soul still felt frozen within.

  I inhaled several times, listening for any signs of Ryder that would tell me he’d felt my distress. When sad or troubled, I’d pray he would run to my side. But like every other night I’d had nightmares, if he’d tried he hadn’t made it past the guards.

  All I could hear was the hum of the outside hall light.

  Pressing my fingertips to the pulse in my neck, I cringed. It thudded like an overtaxed engine ready to blow. Forcing myself flat on the bed, I tried to get comfortable. The springs creaked with each movement. Shivers plagued me. Exhaling, I visualized my heart and pulse slowing, returning to their normal state.

  The need to do something, anything, overwhelmed me and prevented the biofeedback from working. Memories of Mother’s ship assailed me. The fear it generated threatened to paralyze me.

  With the exception of the queen’s torture and larger hallways, living underwater in confined quarters was similar to my existence on Mother’s ship.

  What was happening to me? How could I think Freedom and my mother’s ship were the same? Captain Gordon may run a tight ship, but I had yet to receive a single blow. Whereas Mother had beaten me, starved me, and thrown me into cramped spaces for punishment every time I failed to satisfy her, however trivial the infraction.

  I shook my head. Ryder and Bendar were right. I hadn’t deserved that treatment. As Gordon sai
d, I was a young girl when she started programming me. But what her endgame was still eluded me.

  Along the pipe overhead, a ping sounded. I bolted upright. “Ryder?” Perhaps he’d found a way to skirt the guards and come to me undetected. I remained still and listened for his signal again. Three long breaths later, I heard it again.

  It was Ryder.

  I eased out of bed, trying to prevent it from squeaking, and grabbed my jumpsuit. No. I wouldn’t wear that. Tonight, I didn’t want to be a rebel. I wanted to be a woman with the love of her life by her side.

  Of course, the dress I’d worn my first week on the ship. It lay folded in my locker.

  Tiptoeing across the room, I grasped the locker handle. It clicked, echoing in the stillness. Raeth moaned, but didn’t wake.

  With shaking hands, I removed the dress and slipped it over my head. It didn’t compare to the yards of royal fabric I’d worn as a princess. Then again, it held only good memories. Also, I was no longer a princess with long silver-blond hair and a painted face. I ran my fingers through my short, pale hair. Lightness filled me.

  While Ryder loathed the queen, he loved me, Semara, not the princess. I smiled, privately acknowledging that with my escape from the queen, I’d learned I had value. As Ryder said, I’d gone from a helpless, powerless twit to young woman, ready to bring down a despotic tyrant—my mother.

  I rested the locker’s lid on the latch but didn’t fully shut it. If I had, the clang would have awakened everyone within three rooms of me. Standing, I sidled to the door and, holding my breath, pressed my ear to it and listened. Good, no footsteps. None at all, which was strange. Usually the guards patrolled all night. Perhaps Ryder had distracted them long enough for me to get out of the women’s wing. I sucked in a deep breath, pressed the button, and the door slid open.

  No guards stood waiting. Inching into the hall on bare feet, I reached back and shut the door. While the floor pressing into the soles of my feet hurt, it was better than my shoes banging against the grates with each step.

  Without hesitation, I raced down the corridor to the hall that separated the men’s and women’s sleeping quarters. No sign of a guard. No sign of anyone.

  Where was Ryder?

  I froze for a moment, waiting to see if there was another signal. Nothing. Silence permeated the ship. No clanging. No light flashing.

  What had happened?

  Had I created the sound in my head because I wanted Ryder so badly?

  Residual tremors from my nightmare rose in mass. Biting my lower lip to keep my scream inside, I focused on what I could touch, see, and hear. Slowly, reason asserted itself. Ryder may not have sent the message, but someone did. Something had happened to the ship and we were in danger. I could feel it in my bones.

  I concentrated on Ryder, his face, his body, his scent, his mind, and willed him to awaken, though I knew it wouldn’t work. It never did. My Neumarian ability couldn’t wake someone or mentally talk to them. “Yeah, melting metal is real helpful in a submerged ship,” I muttered.

  As I scanned the surrounding area, taps reverberated down the hall from the other end of the women’s quarters. Pressing my back against the cold steel wall, I winced as my heart pounded loud enough to set off the alarms.

  Pulling myself together, I continued to the T-intersection. At the corner, I checked behind me, then to the right and left. The corridor was dark and devoid of any signs of life.

  I turned left and slithered into the shadows to wait, wondering what would happen if I were caught. Most of the rebel crew distrusted me because of who my mother was. If I were found sneaking around the ship at night, it wouldn’t help my cause. Yet, I had to know what was going on. For weeks, I’d felt something wasn’t right and I was beginning to believe Mart thought so, too. But why?

  Slowing my breathing, I sought my calm center as Bendar had taught and waited for the approaching guard. Quiet descended. The tapping had stopped only a few meters away. A light cut on. The guard shined it along the opposite wall. I leaned back as far as I could and flattened myself behind a support beam, but the light flicked straight to me.

  “Who’s there?”

  With nowhere to run or hide, I steadied myself and stepped into the beam. “It’s Semara. I couldn’t sleep.”

  “It’s against regulations for you to be wondering the halls after lights out.”

  “I know. It’s just that I couldn’t—”

  “Sleep. Yeah, I got it.” The guard flicked the light to direct me in front of him.

  The last thing I wanted was this guard at my back. “Where are we going? My quarters are the opposite direction.”

  “Take it up with Mart. She decides the appropriate punishment for disobeying rules.”

  Great. Mart would show me no mercy. She’d also use this to make me look even worse. She’d been trying to sabotage any friendships I made with the crew from day one. “Please. I just need some sleep. I won’t break any rules again. I promise.”

  “Now, Princess Semara,” he said with a sneer.

  “I’m not a princess anymore. I defied my own mother, remember?” I wanted to make him understand. No, I wanted to make all the rebels understand I was on their side.

  “What’s the problem?” Gordon appeared behind me.

  I’d been so caught up in avoiding Mart I hadn’t heard his approach.

  The guard straightened, shoved his feet together and saluted. “Sir, Princess Semara was out of her room. I was only directing her to Mart for questioning.”

  “There’ll be no need.” Gordon touched my shoulder. “You all right?”

  I only managed to nod my response.

  “But, sir―”

  “I summoned her to the training room. Now, return to your post. I’ll take Semara with me.”

  The guard stood for a moment with the light cast on the floor. The metal reflected a glow over his scrunched face. “Yes, sir.”

  “Come, Semara. There’s much work to be done, and I don’t want you up all night.” With military precision, Gordon about-faced and headed toward the training room. Unfortunately, that was the last place I wanted to go. After my brutal reprogramming session a few nights ago and with the dreams still haunting me, I didn’t have the strength to handle another go at it.

  Gordon touched the amber pad beside his office door and it whished open.

  At least it’s not the training room, I consoled myself.

  At the sight of the large wooden table with four intricately carved chairs surrounding it, a desk and leather furniture, I realized that maybe this wasn’t going to be a training session in the physical sense. My stomach clenched.

  “I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” Running a finger down the slick polished table top, I studied the pens and pencils. No halo pad or device sat on the desk, only a picture of a young woman and baby.

  Gordon brushed his sandy-blonde hair from his eyes and sat down. “What is it?”

  I motioned to the old, leather-bound books lining the walls. “You have actual books, old books, and pens and so many other things from before the Great War, yet you seem so young. How old are you?”

  Gordon smiled. “Ah, I thought you would’ve asked that sooner. I’m about ten years older than Ryder.

  “He’s eighteen, almost nineteen. That would make you around twenty-eight.” He didn’t look it with his scruffy baby face. Yet, his mannerisms were refined like a member of the council. “How could you be so young and be such a high ranking officer of all these rebels?”

  Gordon lifted his hand, directing me to sit. “I wasn’t in charge until five people above me were murdered by assassins.”

  Memories of monstrous half-men, half-machines flashed through my mind and my mouth became as dry as the Wasteland.

  Gordon leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. His blue eyes darkened. “What’s wrong?”

  “Back in Old Chicago, we had a run-in with the same type of assassins. We were saved by a feisty old woman named Mags. She fought th
em off with her homemade fire bombs. She was tough.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss. I know you’ve suffered greatly.”

  “She’s not dead!” I hadn’t meant to shout at him. Clearing my throat, I sat and folded my hands in my lap. “I can’t let myself believe she wouldn’t survive. Too many have sacrificed themselves enabling Ryder, Raeth, and me to make it to the Freedom and the ENR. I pray it was worth it and we prove to be everything they’ve hoped.”

  I swallowed hard and blinked back the unwanted tears. They would only make me look weak and I couldn’t afford that. Not until I discovered what was really going on and why we hadn’t reached the ENR yet. At least my mother’s training was good for something. I could suppress my feelings when necessary. Rise to the task at hand.

  Exhaling, I met Gordon’s steely gaze. “I’m beyond upset that Dred, who has sacrificed the most of all, hasn’t woken up.”

  “The doctor said he needs to remain in a coma. He suffered extensive brain damage.”

  The thought of Dred, the captain of a scavenger ship in the Wasteland—who took on Mother’s ship to save Ryder, Raeth, and I—lying helpless in the infirmary seemed wrong. “Ryder can heal him.”

  Gordon shook his head. “I’ve spoken to Ryder and we both feel it’s best to discover the extent of his damage before anything is done. We simply don’t have the equipment necessary onboard. Once we reach headquarters in Upper Europe, we’ll be able to help him.”

  “And when’s that going to be?” Hidden beneath my hair, the implanted communication device behind my ear sent a zing to the back of my eyes as lightning bolts shot into my field of vision. The blasted thing had caused me no end of trouble since boarding this ship.

  Gordon stood and moved around the desk. Placing a hand on my shoulder, he squeezed in reassurance. “You okay?”

  I shrugged. “Tired, yet not sleepy. Otherwise, I’m fine.”

  He sank onto the sofa across the room. Anxiety crawled up my back like a baby spider. Every nerve, every muscle tensed, alert to possible danger. The sofa was covered in a plush material, fluffy pillows adorning it. While it looked comfortable, to me it only led to torturous memories.