Play to Him

by Wendi Zwaduk

  “I can’t.” She trembled. The moment he found out she couldn’t handle strings because of her past, he’d kick her out anyway. Better to sever the ties now, rather than later.

  “You don’t trust me?” He tipped his head to the side. His normally strong façade cracked just a bit. “The things we do when we engage in a scene are acceptable, but telling me why you insist on your freedom the moment we stop is wrong?”

  “You won’t understand.” She hopped off the bed. “It’s—you won’t get it.” Rhiannon glanced around the space. She wanted to run, but where in the hell was she going to go without clothes? He had them. She sat on the edge of the mattress. “This is so fucked up. You forgot about the strings.”

  “I haven’t forgotten. I want them—with you.”

  “Are you crazy? You can have another me in a heartbeat. There’s nothing about me that’s special. I play well, sure, but there are plenty of women who do that.” She wiped her cheeks with the pads of her fingers. “A guy like you probably has women stashed all over the globe ready and willing to be your play toy for the night.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know your type. You want something until it’s yours and then you don’t want it any longer. I’ll be old news in a day.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “It’s life.”

  “Do you wish to leave?” Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of her. He fastened the bracelet around her wrist. “I’ll call Annabelle. She’ll take care of things.” Grabbing her hands, he rubbed the tops of her knuckles with his thumbs and stared at her for a long time before speaking. “I can give you the moon and the stars. Whatever your heart’s desire I can get it if you’d just tell me.”

  “What I want, I can’t have.” She blinked back tears. “Right now, I want to go home.”

  Sebastian nodded once, then stood. Within moments, he had a car waiting and a trench coat in hand. He dressed and walked her to the elevator. Rhiannon rode beside him in the car and immediately regretted her decision. He very well could have another woman waiting for him the minute she left. God knew he had the money to buy any playmate he wanted. The weight of her past rode heavy on her shoulders. If she sagged against him, she’d capitulate to his desire to stick around. If she stood firm, she’d probably never see him again.

  The elevator doors opened and he escorted her to a limousine. The clock on the foyer wall read four a.m. The lights in the entryway threw long shadows on the sidewalk. He opened the door for her. “I respect your wishes. Goodnight, Kitten.”

  Kiss him? Tell him she was sorry? Her heart ached. The damned strings she fought so hard to keep at bay showed up with a vengeance. Oh, what the hell, she decided and rose up on her toes to peck his cheek. He didn’t smile, didn’t nod, just stood there in his black silk pyjama bottoms and robe. The desire and contentment normally on his face weren’t there. Blank, save for a twinge of sadness…or had she hoped to see him upset enough to fight her?

  Rain fell in silent drops and glistened on the roof of the limo. She glanced at the sky—empty and black, like her heart. She slid onto the curved grey leather seat and reached for the door handle. Without looking at her, Sebastian closed the door. Moments later, the driver revved the engine. Instead of wounding her ego even more, she stared straight ahead. Don’t look back, give in or let them see you fall. She’d given herself the same pep talk so many times, except the words didn’t ring true any longer. Sebastian Chastain, worth more than a billion dollars, the epitome of sex and power—and she had walked away because of fear. How foolish!

  Chapter Four

  “She’s a code I can’t crack.” Sebastian stared out over the Cleveland skyline. The city, home to his business and the one place he always found solace, did little to comfort him. Without Rhiannon, the world looked rather bleak. In their three sessions, he had felt more than kinky desire, he’d felt a connection down to his core. “I want to understand her, Tasha. I do, but there’s something she’s not telling me.”

  Tasha, his former submissive and the current wife of his twin brother, folded her hands and stood at his side. Her blonde hair spilled over her shoulder. At one time, she had served all his needs for a sexual partner. But things had never felt right with Tasha, not like they did with Rhiannon. Still, she listened and his brother never felt threatened by their friendship.

  “You’re not an easy person to talk to.” She shrugged. “You are a cut-and-dried sort of man. If it’s extra, you have no use for it, whatever it is—expenses, wording in a contract, or even love.”

  “What?” He turned away from the window and plopped into his office chair. Damn it. She had him. Still, he refused to let her grab the upper hand. “How? Was I not a caring and attentive lover? You wanted for nothing when we were together.”

  “Your brother thinks he’s better.” She strode to the front of his desk but didn’t sit down. “Says he provides more of substance.”

  “Seamus would.” The older twin by five minutes, Seamus always claimed to be better at everything. Not that a relationship with Tasha mattered. She suited Seamus and Sebastian refused to break up their happy home for nothing more than a kinky play date.

  “The point is you’re not always easy to talk to when the scene ends. You’re still in control. I don’t know if it’s the money, the power trip or you don’t see things the same way she does, but I’d be willing to bet you barrelled into what you wanted to do without asking her. What’s your cardinal rule? The scene always involves only what the sub and Dominant agree to. Correct?” She rested her hands on the desk top and leant forward. Her blood-red nails glinted in the light. “When it comes to actual love, your brother is better. But that’s my opinion. You did something different with her, didn’t you?”

  Trust Tasha to see right to his core, including the black parts. He hadn’t loved her the way she needed. In all honesty, he had liked their sessions, but nothing more. Still, he refused to give in to her belief he couldn’t love. “Yes, I changed the order of events. But I did it because I wanted to give her a surprise.”

  “I understand, but she didn’t.” A smile curled the corners of her pert mouth. “Some people can’t handle change.”

  “I took her to my private quarters to shower her with affection and to tell her I love her.” There. He’d finally admitted the truth—loving Rhiannon. “I planned to destroy the contract. I want her for more than a playmate.”

  “Uh-oh.” Tasha tapped her bottom lip with her index finger. “Have you discussed taking things to the next level with her?”

  “That’s what last night was for.” Christ. Why did she have to sound so incredulous?

  “She didn’t know that.”

  “Because I didn’t get the chance to tell her.” He groaned. Arguing with a former sub over how to treat a current one…when the hell had he lost control?

  “Sebastian, you’re the Dom, the man in command. Why is it you break all the rules—or quite a few—when she shows up?” A simple question he had no simple answer for.

  “Rhiannon gets under my skin, so, yes, I do forget the rules because she brings out a protective streak in me I didn’t know I had.” He clenched his fist. He wanted to protect her and cherish her all night long, not just during a scene. But there was the trust issue. “She damned near handed me back the bracelet I bought her.”

  “You gave her a gift? You? Mr No Strings to Hold Me Down?” Her eyes widened and she sat down hard on the nearest chair. “I didn’t think you believed in rewarding people.”

  “You say it like I’m a bastard. My workers get rewarded all the time—trips, days off, bonuses. I’m more cautious with lovers, but that’s my prerogative. I’ve never forgotten a Christmas or birthday concerning my family.”

  “I sound shocked because I am.” Tasha sat up straight and folded her hands on her lap. “Aside from the family and your employees, you’re right, lovers aren’t at the same level. She probably knew that and entered into the agreement believing you didn�
��t want a long-time commitment. What if there’s a reason she can’t have long term? Did you do your usual background check?”

  “Yes and no. I wasn’t as invasive.” He caressed the edge of the file folder. Any fact he wanted to know about Rhiannon hid there. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to open it.

  “I’m stunned. You knew more about me on the first encounter than I realised about myself.”

  “I demanded a whole dossier on her from Annabelle, but I haven’t looked at it. I want the mystery with her. Well, mystery in some ways. In other ways, I need to know her inside out. I really care about her and I’m scared. What in the name of God do I do?”

  “I never thought I’d hear any of those words coming from you.”

  “I know.” Not only had he never expected to say them, he’d never expected to be in love. But with Rhiannon he was head over heels. And happy.

  “You asked for my advice.” She rose from the chair and began to pace the room. Tasha waved her hands as she talked. “My suggestion is you involve her in something with the company. A lavish dinner, maybe. And show her what you’re like outside of the playroom. If she accepts, then you’ve got a chance. If not, then you know where you stand and can move on.” She stopped in the middle of the room and clapped her hand. “Easy.”

  “A dinner?”

  “Whatever you’d like. Just make her feel special.”

  He sat back in his seat and folded his hands in front of his mouth. Rock Hard didn’t throw lavish dinners often. But there was the new product line launch revolving around her involvement. The launch wouldn’t happen if she never wanted to see him again, contract or not. An idea came to mind—one that involved both Rhiannon and him but would show his romantic side.

  “Thanks, Tasha. I know precisely what to do.”

  * * * *

  Sebastian fidgeted with the spoon, tapping it on the worn table top. He’d agreed to meet Rhiannon on her terms. Somehow he’d finagled a table at the busy Atrius Building where she, along with a host of other artists, recorded. The cafeteria wasn’t his ideal spot to rendezvous, but if it made her more at ease then fine. He had never bent over backwards for anyone. Part of him enjoyed giving in to her expectations. The rest of him wasn’t so sure. What if he stepped out of his comfort zone only to find out she wasn’t interested?

  “Sorry I’m late.” Rhiannon plopped down across from him. Pink tinged her cheeks and her eyes sparkled. “The lullaby I played for you, Strapped? I just finished the vocal track. It’s going to sound phenomenal.”

  “Good.” He stirred creamer into his coffee. His hand trembled and he hoped she didn’t notice. God, he hated to look weak in her eyes.

  “And, according to Georgie, the album should drop around Christmas. Well, if the execs love it.” She bobbed her head. “I know, I know, it’s not my normal poppy music, but it’s more emotional and fans love emotion.”

  “Georgie?”

  “My producer.” Bracelets, the gift from him included, jangled on her wrist. “He makes sure I sound good.”

  “I see.” She wore his present. That had to be a good sign.

  “He’s tough and makes me work like a dog but if the record turns out like I think, then it will be totally worth it.” She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “We might just release the single to see if the audience is still there. After the split from Razrs… I don’t know. I tell myself I’ll be fine on my own, but I’m still not sure.”

  “The band is better without you.” She didn’t like being on her own? Interesting.

  “That’s harsh.” She frowned and slumped in her seat. “I thought you’d understand.”

  “I understand very well. For the band, yes, you not being there is good. You’re meant to be a solo act, Kitten.” He gritted his teeth. So much for sounding smooth. “You have a backlog of songs that need to be heard and you’re the one to sing them, not the band.”

  “Oh.” She cupped her hands around the coffee mug. “You wanted to meet.”

  Good. Back to things he controlled. “I did. I have an idea that might help with your promotion for that song.”

  She didn’t say anything, but nodded.

  “We have a new line coming out with Rock Hard that consists of high-end toys and gear. High-end, I mean, glass toys with special jewel insets and gear made from hard-to-find materials. Most customers will like the look, but few can afford them.” He paused a moment to breathe and gauge her reaction.

  “And I come in where?” She tipped her head to the side and a weak smile curled her mouth. Rhiannon leant forward and whispered, “You want to use them on me? And why are we talking about this here? You don’t want privacy?”

  “In time, Kitten, if you want to play then I’ll use them on you. I’m discussing this with you here so you feel safe. I don’t know what it is about you, but I want to protect you. Privacy means shit if you’re scared.” Now to put the rest of his plan on the table. “I’d like to sponsor the song in return for using it on the site. The theme for the line, so to speak. Every clickthrough to see the merchandise, they’ll hear the song.”

  “That sounds cool. Lots of exposure.”

  “Exactly. You’ll get an advance, but there’s another part of the business plan.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Here it comes.”

  “You trust me when we play. As important as that is, what I have in mind for your song is more important.” He inched close to her and murmured, “I want you to model certain pieces. Face recognition is tantamount here.”

  Her gaze vacillated between the cup and his face, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Let me explain.” He pulled the mock-up catalogue from his suit pocket. “You see these?” Sebastian pointed to the designer toys. “The pictures are blah, I know. Unless one reads the description, one can’t tell they are made of the best materials and for the discerning customer. You’ve got the star quality I need. Plus, I’m attracted to you and can’t wait to see you model the clothes.”

  There. He’d admitted to her how he felt. The whole thing went over a little harder than he planned, but the weight in the pit of his stomach went away.

  “Sebastian.”

  She said his name, not just Sir. Even better. “What do you think?”

  Rhiannon turned the pages around and flipped between the images. “I can see where they are boring.” She pushed the catalogue back to him. “Here’s the thing. I’m not a porn star or even that pretty. How can I be sure I won’t turn into a joke when people see these? I don’t want to be the boring chick who plays shitty music and conned her sugar daddy into making her an F-list star.”

  No recognition of his admission and plenty of hesitation. Shit. Back to the business plan. “Elite customers will be given exclusive access to these items.”

  “Like invitation only?”

  “Yes, and some may not be released to the general public at all.” At least one collar came to mind—the one he planned to give to her. He rested his hands on his lap to hide the slight shake. One word and he had her. One word and the whole thing would be down the drain. “You may not believe me, but I do have your best interests at heart. I want you to be successful and have a tag on the market that no one else has without the fear you’ll be made fun of. If they laugh at you, they’re laughing at me and I won’t stand for it. By combining your music and image with these items, I’m convinced we’re on to something big.”

  “What if I don’t want to pose in front of a lot of people?”

  Good Lord, she asked a lot of questions—worthy questions, but still. “I’ve worked that out as well. I’ll take the photos and undress if that makes you more comfortable.” He reached for her hand. To hell with his fears and regrets. She completed him and if capturing her heart meant crawling on his knees he’d do it. “I want this to be a success for you.”

  She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t relax in his grasp. “Can we make it a scene?”

  The words he’d longed to hear—well, some of them. Se
bastian rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “Anything you’d like. All the toys in these pages are the items we have to work with. I doubt we’ll use all of them and I refuse to denigrate you. So, yes, we can make it a scene.”

  Chapter Five

  “I shouldn’t.” Rhiannon focused on their entwined hands. Accepting the desire to pose nude for him wasn’t nearly as hard as admitting her true feelings for him. He had agreed to her request. What was she afraid of? Sebastian releasing her from the contract and not wanting anything to do with her when he found out about her past.

  “You’ll be there when I select the photographs. Whatever you don’t approve of won’t be used.” He kissed the top of her hand. “I promise.”

  Since he put things that way. Although the tiny voice in the back of her head screamed for her to run away, she went with the feeling deep in her gut. “I’d—I’d like to play.”

  His eyes lit up and he smiled. Sebastian nodded. “Very good, Kitten. Are you available this afternoon?”

  “Already?”

  “Yes.”

  “I am.” She hadn’t planned on jumping in with both feet quite so fast, but what the hell. “I want to play right now.”

  He offered his arm. “Then let’s make some magic.” Sebastian escorted her to his waiting limousine. Rhiannon settled in the crook of his arm. Whenever she spent time with him, she felt safe. He rubbed her arm with the tips of his fingers.

  “I’ve missed you, Kitten.”

  Emboldened, she sat up. “Are you asking me to play?”

  “Not in so many words, but do you have something in mind?” He curled his fingers under her chin. “I don’t have the collar here with me.”

  “Don’t need one right now.”

  “Oh? And what do you have in mind?” He crooked one brow and a smile lit up his face.

  “May I please you, Sir?” She slipped onto the floor between his knees and fixed her gaze on his. “I want to show my appreciation.”