Dare to Be Different

by Nicole O'Dell

  Drew took it out of his hands and put it to her lips and lightly inhaled.

  “Oh, no, that’s not how you do it. Watch.” Trevor demonstrated for her and then put it to her lips once more.

  As Drew inhaled, she wondered why he wanted her to smoke it so badly. She let the thought pass, though, and began to really feel the effects.

  Trevor leaned in for another kiss, and this time, neither of them pulled away. Drew became a bit afraid that she’d never want this to stop, so she pulled away. “Let’s go inside and get a snack. I’m starving.”

  “Okay, but you’re not getting off that easily. We’ll pick that up again a little later, maybe when we’re alone.”

  Drew was afraid to consider what that might mean. But it didn’t matter yet. The party was in full swing and some people were still arriving. She reminded herself that she was a smart girl and that she had everything under control.

  Chapter 12

  JUST NOT RIGHT

  Back at home, Mom and Dad tried to relax and watch some TV before bed. But something was just not sitting right with them. They were uneasy about some of the things that Drew had said and some of the signals they read from her, but they had a difficult time deciding what it was that made them so uneasy.

  “She was nervous,” Mom said. “She was nervous and fidgety when she was talking to us. Do you think that’s what is bugging us?”

  “That could be it. You know, I’ve been thinking… “ Dad hesitated. “I don’t want to ask Dani to betray Drew, but maybe she knows something.”

  “We could talk to her. Or I could always try calling Samantha’s mom.”

  “That’s a good idea. Do that first, and then, if we still need to, we can talk to Dani.”

  Mom dialed the phone and waited for someone to pick up. Finally someone answered, but the background noise was so loud that she could barely hear the person on the other end of the line.

  Casting a nervous glance at her husband, Mom said, “I’m looking for Samantha’s mom. Is she available?”

  “No lady, she’s out of town,” the boy slurred and then hung up.

  Mom sat and stared at the phone in her hand like it was a snake. After recounting the brief conversation to her husband, they were both so concerned that Mom immediately went upstairs to wake Dani up and ask her to join them in the family room.

  Dani came down the stairs, sleepily rubbing her eyes. When she realized what they were asking her, she struggled over what to tell her parents. She wasn’t willing to lie, but she really wanted to protect her sister as much as she could.

  “Danielle,”—it was never a good thing when Dad used her full name—”if you know anything about where your sister is and what she might be doing, we need to know. It seems as though there is a lot more to the story than we were told, and we’re concerned that she could be getting into some trouble. This is definitely not the time to try to protect your sister from getting caught. She could be facing much greater dangers than

  that.”

  Dani realized that this situation was much bigger than just wanting to protect her sister. Her love for Drew meant that she needed to help her parents help her sister. She wound up telling them everything she knew, starting with the first time Drew got a ride home from Trevor, and about the kiss in the bleachers, to what she had heard about this party around school. She told them that there was no adult there and that there was to be alcohol and possibly even drugs. She also let them know what she had been hearing about Trevor and how he mistreated girls.

  Her parents were horrified, but they set their horror aside for a moment and sprang into action. They looked up Samantha’s address and took off for the house, afraid of what they might find when they got there. Dani stayed at home and went up to her room after they left so she could think and pray about the situation. She was glad that everything was finally coming to light, because she had been so worried about Drew. But she was also worried that Drew would never forgive her for telling their parents what had been going on. Dani knew that now more than ever before, her sister needed her prayers and her support.

  Bonfire blazing, people laughing and milling around the yard, Drew and Trevor were having a great time being silly and raucous by the fire. One thing Drew noticed about alcohol was that it made her less inhibited. Things that would have made her uncomfortable just a few hours before suddenly became completely acceptable and desirable. She became very comfortable with Trevor’s touches and even initiated some herself, which made him very happy.

  After an hour or so of flirting around the fire, Trevor wanted Drew to come with him to find a private place for a few minutes. She knew that it would mean more kissing; and even though she was scared, she really wanted to go. They decided that the pool shed would be a great place for them to hang out. On their way to the pool shed, Drew heard something funny coming from the front of the house. Wondering what was happening, she pulled Trevor toward the front, even though he was trying to pull her in the direction of the shed.

  When she got a little closer, she heard shouting. “Where is my daughter? Someone better bring me to her now!”

  Drew instantly recognized her father’s voice and turned to Trevor, hoping he could help her make sense of it all. Her mind was fuzzy because of the alcohol and drugs, so she couldn’t fully grasp what was happening to her—and she even started giggling.

  Trevor shot her a look and said, “This really isn’t funny.”

  “Everything’s funny.” Drew giggled again. She was completely incapable of grasping the gravity of the situation. “I know what I’ll do. I’m going in to the bathroom so I can clean myself up before I see them.” She ran off through the back entrance to find the bathroom before her parents found her.

  In the bright yellow bathroom, Drew took a look in the mirror over the sink. She was horrified by what she saw. Her clothes were a mess, her makeup was smeared, and she knew that she reeked of smoke—cigarette and bonfire smoke. As soon as she thought of the smoking, her stomach began to turn. The combination of beer and smoke on an empty stomach were quickly becoming too much for her to handle. As the bubbling continued to rise in her belly, she turned and lunged for the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach. Feeling a bit better, she washed her face and hands and tried to smooth her hair. Wishing she could stall a little longer, she knew that her time was up. It was time to face the music.

  She slowly opened the door a crack. She had no idea what she would say to her mom and dad. She realized that she had disappointed them in just about every possible way in that one night. As she was coming to her senses and remembering everything about the night and what led up to it, Drew wished with all her heart that she could go back and have another chance to do things the right way. But it was too late.

  She saw her parents enter the house and approach Sam’s sister, who pointed toward the bathroom. They both saw her at the same time, and there was a moment of eye contact that Drew would never forget. Her mom was crying and wiping her eyes. She looked so sad. Her dad mostly looked mad. Drew wasn’t sure which one she was dreading the most: the disappointment or the anger.

  Drew started to open her mouth to speak, but Dad cut her off and said, “I’m not interested in hearing anything from you right now, Drew. Just collect your things and let’s go.”

  Mom covered her mouth with her tissue and sobbed harder when she heard her husband’s words.

  Drew quietly got her jacket from the hook on the back of the door. She started the long, shameful walk out to the car and couldn’t lift her head to look her parents in the eye. They said nothing.

  She sat in the backseat, silent, alone, listening to her mom crying softly in the front seat. Suddenly her words came back to her, haunting her: “I’ve got everything under control.” She regretted those words so much. But it was too late. She had failed.

  Dad started to walk back into the house to talk to Samantha but decided he would be better off taking his daughter home and coming back. As her dad walked to his car
door, Drew caught a glimpse of Trevor standing on the side of the house, watching the scene unfold. He shook his head in disgust; he looked angry. For a brief moment, Drew felt a bit of shock to realize that he was angry with her instead of being worried about her. She shrugged off those feelings, because she had much more important things to deal with.

  Her dad got into the car, backed out of the driveway, and headed down the street. Before they got to the end of the block, they heard sirens and saw lights flashing. Three police cars screamed past them and pulled into the driveway they had just left. Policemen got out of the car with their hands on their guns and started shouting at people in the yard.

  Dad continued driving away, but they all realized immediately what could have happened if they had arrived five minutes later than they had. That realization dissolved Drew into tears. She knew she deserved to be there facing the police with her “friends,” but she was so glad that she wasn’t.

  A few minutes later, at home, the Danielses all walked into the house; and Drew, feeling sick again, ran to the bathroom. After she was sick for the second time, she decided to take a quick shower to attempt to rid herself of the filth that covered her from the evening. She stood in the shower, under the hot water for a long time. It was difficult to hurry, because the room seemed to be swaying. She finally finished and got dressed.

  “Mom … Dad …” She didn’t know what to say to them when she entered the family room. They were sitting silently in the dimly lit room, not even speaking to each other.

  “Drew, I honestly don’t know if we have it in us to talk to you about this tonight.” Dad had his head in his hands and he wouldn’t look at her. Drew’s mom stared blankly at her, almost as though she didn’t even know her. Perhaps she felt that she didn’t.

  “Please … I need to … I can’t leave it until tomorrow … we need to fix this.” Drew begged for their attention, because the thought of having to wait until tomorrow to face them was too much for her.

  “Drew, there is no quick fix for this. And it really doesn’t matter what you need right now. Your mom and I just don’t have it in us to figure out what we want to say or need to say to you. It’s going to take time. And you’re just going to have to deal with that.”

  Drew hung her head in sadness and embarrassment, knowing that she had really crushed her parents and destroyed their trust in her. She would do anything for the chance to take back her actions that evening. But that wasn’t going to happen. The only thing for her to do was to go to bed.

  “I’m so sorry. I love you both. Good night.”

  “We love you, too, Drew. Good night.”

  Climbing into her bed, Drew was careful not to wake Dani, who was in her own bed across the room, pretending to be asleep. Dani lay there, afraid that Drew would be mad at her for all she had told their parents, so she didn’t let on that she was awake.

  Drew lay in bed for a long time as tears quietly soaked her pillow. So much had died that night. It was the death of her innocence in many ways. It was the death of her parents’ trust in her. It was the death of her faith in people. It was the death of her faith in herself. She knew that somehow she would have to find a way to resurrect her faith in God before any of those things could be restored.

  Chapter 13

  TRUTH AND

  CONSEQUENCES

  Drew woke up slowly the morning after the party. She rolled over, nauseous, and forgot for a moment why she felt sick. Suddenly, memories from the night before started coming back to her. With a loud groan, she turned over and covered her head with her pillow, trying to escape the memories, even for just one more moment.

  After narrowly escaping a run-in with the police, Drew felt equal amounts of regret and relief. She was so regretful about the things she had done, and she knew there were consequences for them that she still had to face. But she was also so very relieved that she escaped a legal problem. Also, as difficult as it was for her to admit to herself, she was relieved that she had been found out. It was too stressful to carry on like she had been. It was just not natural for her to lie to her parents; and, looking back on the night before, she didn’t like the person she had been. Plus, she knew that she had really been in over her head and was headed for some real trouble. Who knew what last night would have led to after alcohol and drugs … she could have done anything. And it was beginning to seem like Trevor knew that and had been happily taking advantage of it.

  Drew sat up in bed and looked over at her sister. Dani was lying on her side with her eyes open, looking back at Drew.

  “I’m so sorry,” Dani whispered.

  “Why are you sorry?” Drew was confused.

  “I totally ratted you out. I told them everything I knew and everything I suspected. I’d just had enough with worrying about you all on my own, and I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  “You did do the right thing, and you have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “Drew, what happened last night? Were there really drugs and alcohol at that party? You didn’t do any, did you? Please tell me you didn’t.” Dani had so many questions for Drew.

  “I wish I could tell you that I did nothing wrong, but I can’t. Everything you heard about the party was true. I wish I could say that I was strong and didn’t do any of it, but I’m so embarrassed to admit, I did it all.”

  “Drew! Seriously? Why? I’m so bummed. I mean … I just wish this hadn’t happened at all. I should have stopped it somehow. What did Mom and Dad say?”

  “Slow down, sis. It’s not your fault, and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. It was my choice and my fault. And believe me, I wish it hadn’t happened, too. As for Mom and Dad, we haven’t even talked about it yet. I guess it’s about time for me to go face the music. Stalling isn’t going to help things a bit.”

  Drew got out of bed, leaving Dani to think over all she had just heard. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, stopping to look at herself for a minute. As she stared at her reflection, she just couldn’t figure out how things had gotten so far out of hand. She tied her hair back into a ponytail and went downstairs. Her mom was in the kitchen, making coffee, and her dad was sitting at the table. The night’s sleep and the fresh light of day seemed to have calmed them a bit, so she took a seat with her dad and waited for someone to say something. No one did.

  “Mom, Dad, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I really screwed up. But I can honestly tell you that I’m relieved to have it over. It was really getting out of hand, and I felt kind of trapped … you know, in over my head.”

  “Oh, Drew. Where did we go wrong? What should we have done differently to teach you better about right and wrong? We thought we were doing all the right things,” Mom said, crying.

  “Mom, you have done a fantastic job. Look at Dani. I’m just different. I’m more stubborn. And I guess I have to learn from my own mistakes, which is part of being stubborn—but it’s not your fault. I have learned so much from all of this. I mean, I know that I’ll be punished, but believe me, there is no punishment that could be worse than how I feel already. I never knew what real regret felt like. I know I’ve hurt you … that just kills me.”

  “Oh, Drew, this is so far beyond punishment.” Dad fingered the corner of his unread newspaper. “Yes, there will be consequences, but it’s more than that. We need to change the way we do things around here. You’ve lost our trust, and it’s going to take a long time to earn that back. And,” Dad continued, “just so you understand, it’s not that we want to withhold our trust as a punishment, it’s just that we can’t let go of you right now for fear of what you’ll do to yourself. We’re going to have to keep you really close for a long time.”

  “I understand, Dad. I don’t blame you. Whatever you want or need from me, whatever I can do, I will do gladly. I am just so grateful to have been spared what a lot of my friends probably faced last night, and I’m so relieved to have been saved from myself and from what I might have done.”

  “Drew, you’re goin
g to need to step down from cheerleading,” her mom said without looking at her.

  Tears sprang to Drew’s eyes. “Oh, Mom, I was so afraid you’d say that. Is that really necessary? I mean, it’s a school-sponsored activity … wait … you’re right. I just got finished saying that I would do whatever it took. If you think it’s important, I won’t question you.”

  Dad sat up in his chair. “Now, Drew, that tells me that you are serious in your remorse. Thank you for that. But yes, it’s important. For one thing, we don’t want you associating with those kids anymore. For another thing, we feel that you need to get your focus off of yourself, your looks, and the attention and all that comes with cheerleading and get back to basics like school and good friends.”

  “Okay, Dad. I can understand that.”

  “As for the rest of your punishment, it’s just that things are going to change. No more staying out with friends. No sleepovers, no trips to the mall. You’re going to go to school and come home. You and your sister can find your relationship again. You can go to church and youth group activities. But that’s about it.” Mr. Daniels held up his hand. “Before you ask, I don’t know how long. I guess until we feel you are safe from yourself and your poor decisions.”

  Drew sat with her head down. It was difficult to look her parents in the eye, so she just took in their words.

  “Drew, your dad and I really want to encourage you to get some counseling from one of the pastors at church. We’d like to see you get back to your roots and find your faith in God again. I think you’ve seen that you don’t have everything under control. Perhaps you’ve realized that you need Him to be in control. They can help you let go and let Him in again.”