Undone (The Revealed Series)

by Alice Raine

  Moving one of my hands with infinite care so as not to startle her I began to gently rub her shoulders, hoping to settle her. My words had seemed to work at the studio, so I tried them again. ‘Shhh. It’s OK, Caitlin. I’m here, sweetheart. You’re safe.’

  Gradually, I felt Caitlin begin to soften even more, her breathing becoming slower and deeper and her trembling subsiding until finally she lifted her head and gave me a timid smile.

  Smiling back, I instinctively smoothed some stray hairs away from her face but I felt Caitlin tense as I touched her cheek and immediately dropped my hand.

  Fuck. She was so fragile, but I wanted to touch her so badly. I had to tread really, really carefully.

  Behind us, I heard a soft knock on the lounge door and turned to see Allie with a tray in her hands watching the two of us. It seemed she was bringing us drinks, but I also suspected she was rather protective of Caitlin and was using the refreshments as a means of checking up on us too.

  ‘I brought some tea.’ As Allie entered, Caitlin took a step away from me, tucking her hands into the pockets of her jeans and dropping her gaze to the tray that Allie had placed on the coffee table. I immediately missed her warmth, and it took every shred of my self-control not to follow her and wrap her in my arms again.

  Caitlin cleared her throat and looked at her friend, and I noticed that her cheeks finally seemed to have more colour in them.

  ‘Thanks, Allie. And, uh...thanks for coming to get me.’ Lifting a hand to her mouth, Caitlin chewed on the thumb nail and then dropped her hand when Allie stepped forward and embraced her.

  ‘You don’t need to thank me, Cait. You have my back and I have yours, babes.’ Their closeness was rather touching, almost like that of family, and reminded me a lot of the bond my brother and I shared.

  The girls stepped apart and Caitlin cleared her throat nervously. ‘And you too, Jack.’ She was animated in her nervousness: staring at the floor again, nudging the rug with her toe, and pinging the elastic bands on her wrist. ‘Thank you for getting me out of there.’

  I wanted to respond the same way Allie had and pull Caitlin into my arms, but I didn’t dare, so instead I shook my head. ‘It wasn’t a problem, Caitlin,’ I murmured, my voice rough from the intensity of the feelings I had for this woman. I wished that I had detained Gregory and knew the whole story of her past so I could properly console her. Reining in my frustration, I felt a surge of hope as she raised her head and met my eyes.

  ‘Allie, I promise we’ll talk later, but would you mind giving me some time to talk to Jack, please?’ I was as surprised by Caitlin’s words as Allie looked, but she nodded and turned for the door.

  ‘No problem, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.’

  Once we were alone, Caitlin moved to one of the large leather sofas and took a seat, tucking one leg underneath herself and patting the seat to her side. She wanted me near her, which thrilled me, and I found my heart was suddenly galloping in my chest.

  Indicating at the tray containing a tea pot, two mugs, and two bottles of water, I looked to Caitlin. ‘Would you like a drink?’

  Her eyes skimmed the tray and then wandered to the small bar in the corner of the room. ‘I’ll have a whiskey.’

  My eyebrows jumped, then I chuckled at the playful look on her face and nodded. ‘Your wish is my command.’

  I knew Sean didn’t drink spirits any more, usually sticking to one glass of wine or a bottle of beer, but I walked over to check in case he had any for guests. As I suspected, the surface contained a wine rack with several very decent bottles and nothing more, but exploring the mini fridge and cupboard to its right, I discovered beers, juices, water, and three bottles of port, whisky, and brandy. Pouring a decent measure for Caitlin, I made up a brandy for myself and glanced over to find her watching me with that same smile on her face.

  Seeing that look on her lips because of me would never grow old.

  ‘Ice?’ God, my voice sounded high pitched and adolescent. I seriously needed to get a grip on myself.

  ‘Just a touch of water, please.’ Cracking open one of the bottles, I added a splash to both drinks and made my way back to the sofa. As much as I wanted to sit as close to her as possible, I left a gap, respecting her space.

  I tried not to stare at her mouth as she took a sip of the amber liquid, but as her tongue darted out to capture a drop of moisture on her lower lip, it was impossible. Her lips were too irresistible not to watch. God, I wanted to kiss her so badly. I wanted to kiss her until her bad memories went away and only the two of us existed.

  Grabbing a pillow as a distraction, I pulled it onto my lap and fiddled with the zip to stop myself staring. I took a sip of my own drink, trying to calm my hammering pulse, and followed her lead by placing my glass on the table.

  ‘You’ve been so patient with me, Jack,’ she murmured quietly. Looking across, I could see an apprehensive expression on her face. ‘I’ve held you off, knocked you back, and completely freaked out on you, but you’re still here.’

  ‘I told you I was willing to take things slow, and I meant it.’

  She nodded thoughtfully as if absorbing my words. ‘I’ll be honest, at first I thought that was just a line. I figured that, being who you are, you were hoping for a quick shag before moving on.’ Her admission made my eyebrows rise in surprise, but to be fair she had a point–a vast majority of actors I knew were exactly like that, moving from one woman to the next at every opportunity.

  ‘I’m glad I proved you wrong,’ I murmured.

  ‘I’m the one who’s glad,’ she added.

  ‘I’m too old to be playing games like that, Caitlin. I’m not looking for a quick fling,’ I confirmed. ‘I told you I wanted you properly, and I meant it. I feel a connection I’ve never felt before and as far I’m concerned, that’s something worth exploring.’

  ‘And that’s still the case? Even after today?’ she asked quietly, her eyes wide and wary.

  If anything, seeing her so vulnerable had increased the intensity of my feelings. I wanted to protect and love her and help her blossom, but I didn’t say any of that. Nodding my head, I kept it simple. ‘It’s still very much the case, Caitlin.’

  Caitlin nearly killed me by flicking out her tongue and licking it across her lower lip as she processed my words. Swallowing hard, I had to tamp down the instant flood of blood that rushed to my cock at her accidentally seductive move. Thank fuck I had this pillow. I seriously didn’t think she knew how sexy or appealing she was, but I was now rock solid inside my jeans. Uncomfortably so.

  ‘I...I feel the connection. It’s amazing. You’re amazing. These last few weeks have been incredible. But...’

  But? Why did there have to be a ‘but’? I was more than happy with her description of me as amazing. Her eyes fluttered shut as her cheeks reddened again. ‘...As you saw, I have certain, uh...issues, which might not make moving forwards the easiest prospect.’

  She sounded like she was apologising. It was his fault, that fucker, but I pushed that aside and decided to lay it all on the line once and for all.

  ‘As far as I’m concerned, Caitlin, we’re a team. You’re my girlfriend. I’m committed to you, baggage and all. I don’t care what issues you have as long as you think you might be able to share them with me one day. If that takes patience, then that’s fine.’ Running a hand through my hair, I prepared for the bombshell. ‘What I’m trying to sayis...I’ve been single a while, but over the course of my adult life, no one has ever made me feel the way you do. You’re it for me, Caitlin. I’m not just looking for any relationship with you. I want commitment, baggage, the whole lot. I want this long-term. I want you long-term.’

  There. It was out, and as I watched Caitlin’s gorgeous hazel eyes widen in shock, I had no idea which way this was going to go.

  Twenty-three

  Cait

  Long-term. Jack Felton wanted a committed, long-term relationship. With me. Up to now, I’d viewed this whole girlfriend/boyfriend thin
g quite sceptically–he had been saying the right things, but I’d kept thinking he’d realise what a freak show I was and change his mind at some point. I’d figured his patience would run out and he’d move on.

  It would seem that I’d been wrong.

  You’re it for me. I didn’t know what to say. Well...I did. I wanted to say yes. Shout yes. Scream it from the rooftops and fling myself at this patient and amazing man, but it was all a little overwhelming. So instead I sat there gawking like an idiot.

  Smooth, Cait, really smooth.

  Pulling myself together, I made a decision...a pretty monumental one. I was going to do something I’d never done before – tell a man the full, no holds barred story of my past.

  ‘I ... you know I want that too, but can I tell you about my past first? I feel like it’s blocking me from moving forwards with you.’

  ‘Of course. You can tell me anything, but know that it won’t change my mind about you.’

  I nodded, hoping his words were true. I felt fidgety and awkward, my hands moving restlessly on my lap. ‘Would you...’ Swallowing loudly, I dared to glance up at Jack as I spoke. ‘...Would you hold me again?’ I whispered, surprised by how reassuring I found his touch.

  Jack grinned, looking thrilled by my request, a smile so stunning that it made my heart skip. But then he paused, so I decided to just tell the truth. ‘I feel so safe with you,’ I whispered.

  Safe. And so much more.

  Attracted. Protected. Aroused.

  Jack’s face softened and without any further words, he opened his arms and gently helped me across the sofa and into his lap. Looping his arms around me, he cradled me against him as I relaxed against his strong chest with a sigh.

  ‘Is this OK?’ he enquired, still keeping his hold on me light and cautionary.

  ‘It’s perfect,’ I murmured, absorbing the feel of his strength. And it really was.

  ‘I don’t know what he did to you, Caitlin,’ Jack started and a shudder ran through my body as I thought of Greg being in LA. ‘But please believe me when I say you can trust me. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, sweetheart,’ he murmured. His words and contact caused warmth to course through my body like an electric current, replacing the shuddering chill. It felt so good that I closed my eyes and allowed Jack’s light to overpower the darkness and dread that Greg brought to my life.

  ‘I know,’ I murmured, and I really did. His careful, polite pursuit of me had earned my complete trust. I heard a hum of contentment rumble in Jack’s chest and felt him drop the lightest of kisses on the top of my head.

  A wry smile twisted my lips as I felt his lips linger in my hair for a second and a shiver of pleasure tingled across my scalp. I really couldn’t believe that this was happening. After Greg, I’d never thought I’d open myself up to a man again, and yet here I was in the arms of Jack Felton.

  Movie star.

  Heart-throb.

  My boyfriend.

  Deciding to tell my story now, I cleared my throat, closed my eyes against the painful images that tried to crawl into my mind, and began. ‘So, obviously you know that that guy was Greg,’ I stated quietly, and in response I felt his body briefly tense below my fingertips.

  Fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt, I sighed. He said he wanted all of me, and now he was going to get it. Every sordid detail.

  ‘I want to fill you in on the part that has really made me wary of men.

  ‘We...we met in a bar, not long after I’d graduated from my teaching degree. He was six years older than me, and charming, funny, and handsome.’ At least I’d thought so at the time, but really, Greg was only average-looking at best, especially when compared to Jack’s handsome features. As I spoke, Jack began to gently stoke my shoulder, his movements tentative and careful but filling me with the courage to continue.

  ‘Well, at first he was, anyway,’ I corrected. The change in Greg had been almost beyond recognition and a shudder ran through my entire body as I remembered how he’d gone from sweet and caring to possessive, abusive, and controlling. ‘He was a sales representative for a pharmaceutical company based in Germany and he worked away a lot, so for the first nine months we barely saw each other. It was long distance, mostly over the phone. Every time he was home it would just be for a day or a weekend, and every time I felt like we were starting our relationship all over again.’

  Turning my head so my forehead was on Jack’s shoulder, I drew in a deep breath filled with his lovely, clean linen scent and tried to muster up some courage. ‘Things didn’t fully develop between us physically. He often tried to initiate sex, but the distance made me unsure and I never felt entirely comfortable with him. We did certain things, but never...’ I paused, clearing my throat and feeling my cheeks burn. ‘...We never went all the way.’ I felt so juvenile describing sex like this but it was the best I could do without completely dying of embarrassment.

  ‘Deep down, I knew he wasn’t as great as my friends said, but they always told me how lucky I was to have a good-looking, rich boyfriend so I’d tried to stick with him. I should have dumped him as soon as I got worried, but I didn’t.’ I gave a small chuckle to release some of the pressure building inside of me.

  ‘Only Allie saw through him from the start. She never liked Greg, and for a while that put pressure on our friendship. That girl has a radar for detecting bad men, always has done.’

  Leaning back, I tried to lighten the mood. ‘She bloody loves you by the way, so I guess that means you must be alright.’ In response, the serious expression on Jack’s face morphed into a shy smile and I realised just how small the space between our faces was. Literally just a few centimetres. I could kiss him so easily, and from the way Jack’s gaze dropped to my lips and lingered there I could tell he was thinking the same.

  Surprisingly, I wanted him to kiss me, and before another thought could pass through my mind I leant forward and placed my lips against his. Warmth coursed through my body and a groan rose in my chest at how good it felt, then I quickly leant back. I was seconds away from moving on from just a closed-mouth kiss to something more heated, but I had the distinct feeling that if I deepened the kiss it would distract me from my story, and I wanted to get it out in the open once and for all.

  Jack rubbed his nose against mine and then very gently ran his thumb across my lower lip before encouraging me to lie back against his chest.

  ‘After we’d been together for about nine months, Greg’s job changed and he became more UK-based. We suddenly had the opportunity to see each other more frequently, and immediately I saw a change in him. He became incredibly possessive. He got jealous if people so much as spoke to me when we were out. He started to get verbally abusive too, accusing me of flirting with other guys and being really critical about my body.’

  Scrawny little legs. Look at you, you’re all skin and bone. You’ve barely got tits. No one else will want to fuck you, Cait, you’re fucking lucky you’ve got me. You should appreciate that more than you do.

  I shuddered and gave the elastic bands on my wrist a few pings until Jack gently interlinked his fingers with mine. Squeezing his digits, I smiledfondly –my very own human stress ball.

  ‘He began turning up at my work to make sure I wasn’t chatting to any of the dads at home time, and if we were walking together he’d push my lower back or tug my clothes to keep me close and lead me where he wanted...he started to scare me.’ I shivered and felt Jack hold me against him more firmly, his hand now circling my shoulder at a faster pace.

  ‘He’d been based in the UK for about three weeks when I decided to end the relationship,’ I whispered. Jack’s hand had stilled in my hair, and I could feel his body turning rigid below mine.

  ‘He was living at home with his mum until he found a place, so one afternoon I cycled round his house to finish things. His mum worked night shifts and was always home in the afternoon so I’d thought it was the safest time.’ A small sob left my throat. ‘That day of all days, she’d gon
e out to get her hair done,’ I whispered.

  ‘Greg was home and on the PlayStation with a couple of friends, so I figured if there were other people in the house I’d be OK.’ A shudder racked through my entire body as I clung to Jack’s shirt. I was nearly done. Just a few more sentences and he’d know it all.

  ‘His bedroom reeked of weed, so I stayed in the corridor telling him we needed to talk. I finished things with him, telling him we’d grown apart while he’d been travelling, but he totally freaked out.’ By this point I could almost see Greg’s bedroom in my mind, could remember how red and angry his eyes had been, and I found silent tears streaming down my cheeks and soaking into Jack’s shirt.

  ‘Before I even knew what happened, Greg grabbed hold of me and threw me into his bedroom. I banged my head on the door and fell to the floor, but managed to get up.’ I had to pause to get a proper breath, because by this point I was almost hyperventilating.

  ‘Christ, Caitlin...’ His wheezy breath made me pause, but I couldn’t look at him. ‘You don’t have to tell me, sweetheart, it’s OK...’ he murmured, but I shook my head. I needed to get this out.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the soothing smell of Jack’s shirt instead of the terrifying flashes of memory seeping into my mind like a poison. ‘He pinned me to the wardrobe and told me that I’d been a...a...a fucking cock tease the whole time we’d been together so he’d fuck me before I left him.’

  Jack drew in a sharp breath as his arms tightened around me, and I felt his hands ball into fists as if he were barely managing to contain his anger.

  ‘He was so strong. He held my wrists in one hand and used the other to rip my T-shirt open, but he couldn’t get my jeans down one handed because I was wearing a belt and struggling as hard as I could. He...he asked his friends to help him, said they could fuck me after if they’d help get my clothes off.’

  At this statement, Jack stifled a pained groan and I actually felt his teeth snap together.